No Mr Bond I expect you to die.

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Carboncrown

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Oct 17, 2009
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I'd take any previous death trap and improve it with ducktape, not even Mr. Bond can beat that wich holds the universe together.
 

Karlaxx

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Oct 26, 2009
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First, I would ask him if he wanted to play a game...

And then...

Aww, nuts, I don't know the movies well enough to do anything beyond that.
Just shoot him and be done with it.
 

Viper1265

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Jul 12, 2009
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I would invite him to a formal dinner and pretend to find a peacful resolution to our conflict, then at the end just as it seems we have settled our differences, I would say "Goodbye, Mr. Bond" at which point the chair he is sitting on would fall through a trap door into a tank full of sharks with frikken laser beams attatched to their heads!
 

chiggerwood

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May 10, 2009
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You will need the following objects:
1 White Suit
1 Large Swivel Chair
10,000 Henchmen
1 Doom Fortress
2,000 Flamethrowers
1 Conveniently Placed Air Duct
100 Billion Dollars
1 Well Rounded Imagination
3 Evil Laughs (chuckles and snickers count)
1 Missing Eye or Limb (optional)
and, Dusky Maidens to taste

O.K. this is how you kill James Bond. First you gotta capture him (of course), and the best way I could think of is getting a woman to sleep with him (difficult task, I know /sarcasm), and slip him poison she hides in her mouth. Now if you're wondering how she doesn't get poisoned herself. The explanation is simple. SHUT UP! Then once he's incapacitated drag him to your doom fortress. Then stick him in the middle of a labyrinth filled with a slow acting poison ALA Saw II, and tell him if he gets out in 90 minutes he will find the antidote at the end. Well seeing as this is James Bondville he of course gets through all your elaborate puzzles and cleverly placed traps, and finds himself in the room with the antidote. He grabs the antidote, and That's when you deploy the flamethrowers. Then he escapes via the Conveniently Placed Air Duct. Bond injects himself with the antidote only to find out that it's just plain water.

If Bond is being played by anyone other than Sean Connery: Bond then goes into the fetal position craps his pants and dies a horrifically painful death.

If Bond is being played by Sean Connery: Bond then summons the power of his testosterone filled chest hairs, and masculine voice and extracts the poison from his body. Then you try again on some later date.
 

Toaster Hunter

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xplay3r

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Jun 4, 2009
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Maraveno said:
xplay3r said:
Maraveno said:
xplay3r said:
caz105 said:
If you were a Bond villain, what elaborate scheme would you use to kill him after you had captured him? Personally I would go along the line of Portal and give him a number of puzzles to complete and a final showdown at the end. Obviously being an evil genius in my underwater lair I wouldn't fight him personally; instead I would set my army of genetically modified electrified double headed hammerhead shark eels or flaming bears.
[small]Yeah they're bears, but on FIRE.[/small]
Like Dr.Insanos monkeys on fire?

I would strap him to a chair with a giant axe hanging over his head, then make him play guitar hero two, through the fire and the flames on expert and every note he misses releases the axe a notch if he fails it falls on him, if he wins then he then has to sit through every season of hannah montana, while listening to the jona brothers.
after that ,if he's not dead, he'd surely be driven insane so then I'd put him a cage with 4 Boa constricturs, a bengal tiger, 7 scorpians, 9 trantulas, A frog, a puma, and a slightly retarted lemur, and he only has a stick and a dead hallibut for weapons.
If he survives that I'd release him. to an insane asylum for serious hannah montanah and jonas brothers recovery. (wich means he is forced to watch episodes of psych, scrubs, burn notice, and house, while listening to The Beatles, EELS, Cake and Primus wich, combined, forces all the suck out until he is fully healed)

That's IF he survives my tests off inhumanity.
this plan 2 is fatally flawed there was no through the fire and flames on guitar hero 2
so skip the retarted lemurs and the haibut, the only problem is I need GH3 not GH2...I see that you understand my mind set well, shall we team up and take over the world? lol
hmmm yes we can do that instead of baking cookies, is Wednesday good for you? Because I can't tomorrow, Ill be trying to turn the moon into a banana then
Aww But I was going to paint the moon red so that everyone could enjoy it. Hmm...Banana...that seems much more poignient. Ok you do the banana mooan, and I'll just do my plan of dumping millions of gallons of orange juice and vodka into the sea so I can get everyon drunk!

Wensday it is for world taking over.

What are we going to do tonight brain?
The same thing we do every night pinky....
 

Zombie Badger

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Dec 4, 2007
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The Rockerfly said:
I'd shoot him in the forehead

Much better then the other villains methods
Repeatedly. It's suprising what someone can survive. Or, if you really want to be sure, do it with a .50 cal rifle.

daheikmeister said:
The Rockerfly said:
I'd shoot him in the forehead

Much better then the other villains methods
So, true, but why not make it interesting? Make him wear the jigsaw shotgun collar, give him hope that he can dismantle it it up if he shoots his then-current lover, and then blow it up on him anyway.
Remember what happened to everyone else who tried to make it 'interesting'? He killed them all!
 

Shoqiyqa

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Mar 31, 2009
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Spray him with something that makes him smell a lot like a cockroach and unleash the emerald wasps, maybe?

Wow ... those would have to be some really small leashes.
 

Squilookle

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Nov 6, 2008
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Guys, you're not getting into the spirit of it all! You'd make for terrible Bond Villains!

I'd force him to have a Dry Martini, Stirred not Shaken, and smirk while watching the grimace inevitably cross his face at the indignity of it all.
 

Jazzyjazz2323

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Jan 19, 2010
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Id put him in a room with 13 attractive sexually wanting women and force him to live in this room being completely monogamous with just one woman for an entire year. So much as hugging any of the other females would cause 9 Komodo dragons to enter the room to feast on him and his only tool for defense would be a 6 shot revolver fully loaded.
 

Blemontea

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May 25, 2010
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Pamper him, let him sit down, on a long couch while i explain with an animated movie about my evil plan and right when the show end a steel box falls over entraping him inside with a pack of wolves and then after a minute i would open up a little slide window on the top and pour in about 5 live grenades. Sit back and listen to the fireworks.