For me this movie absolutely sucked, which is sad considering I often go by Rottentomato's rating (and 99% of them have been spot on) and it was rated so highly there.
- The plot was all over the place, often incredibly dragged-out for the first half. I almost fell asleep. This movie could've easily been less than 1.5 hours, instead dragging for nearly 2.5 hours. Bond is chasing a random no-name villain, gets shot by his partner, vanishes. The very next time we see him he's alive and healthy, fucking some no-name woman, having her like a doll propped up against his side, then she's never seen again. I guess women in that part of the world must be quite desperate to shag random men who are found washed ashore on riverbanks with bits of uranium and bullets in them *shrug*.
Then the disaster at HQ happens, bond comes back, Q gives two gadgets that would've made a 1980's James Bond /facepalm in embarrassment. If I was 007 and the new Q told me "sorry we don't do exploding pens anymore" I would've said "STFU and sit behind your laptop kiddo, I'm a field agent and need my exploding pens. And where is my utility belt? And where the fuck is my utility watch with lasers?? What if I get stuck beneath a frozen sheet of ice later on? And where is my trademark bond CAR with missiles/machine guns? Or did your sorry ass not think any of this through and I'll have to revert to old technology later in the movie, in which you play no part?"
(And at the end of the movie I would've come back and fired him).
Then he goes off after that assassin, who by the way hasn't even spoken a word considering how long Bond has been chasing him. After that ETERNALLY long scene where 007 chases him up the flash glass building in Shanghai (it is NOT "thoughtful pacing", it's dragging out the movie). After what felt like 15 mins of waiting/watching he lets the guy take the shot (I start thinking Bond is planning something AMAZINGLY clever) at which point he just jumps onto the guy and starts brawling with his fists. Finally he's got the guy dangling from a ledge screaming "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?". That was his plan?? Oh god, I facepalmed so hard. Nice detective work Mr Bond, you don't even know the guy can speak english or not!
Then bond meets that lady in china, not long later 007 screws her in the shower and then not long after she's tied to a statue and shot. Who was she? Just some slave, nobody knows, nobody cares because trying to make us feel sympathy for a character who's most important role has been screwing Bond is retarded.
- Daniel Craig can't act, he doesn't have the charm and sophistication of a bond. He's a brawler, someone who should be in a generic action movie. Not a bond movie. Also I know this is just opinion, but he's not good looking. Alright I'm a guy and I can't really accurately judge what looks "good", I guess we'll leave that for women to decide...but personally I don't think he looks anywhere as handsome and charming as previous bonds. He's tried to lose some muscle mass since Casino Royale but the guy is still built like a tank, which doesn't suit bond.
- The villain was gay. Before anyone burns me alive with "omg you discriminating fuck" comments, hear me out. I wouldn't have given a shit that he was gay, except that he was portrayed as an INCREDIBLY stereotypical gay guy who walks and sits like a spoiled princess, speaks like a woman and does lots of flicks and twirls with his fingers/hair and....eeeeh. Actually none of this bothered me, until he started feeling up 007's chest + legs (WTF) and continued with gay analogies for another 20 mins (woooo "I'll be on top", fucking A-class joke right there) which made the whole cinema laugh.
Who's discriminating here exactly? The villain comes across as comically funny because of the whole awkwardness of him being gay and making sly gay analogies/references. The directors have basically generalized that all gay guys walk & talk like women and eye every other guy like they want to ass-fuck them the same day. And then he said he's an ex-MI6 agent. LOL. Not only did I lose all respect for him, I lost respect for MI6 because at some point they hired a stereotypically gay drag-queen who apparently must've done espionage/spy missions by day and bum-fucked other men by night. I guess women may find that concept quite arousing, I dunno *shrug*.
But enough of the gay thing, one thing struck me as odd - for someone who is a legendary computer hacker, the villain is barely shown interfacing with computers at all. He's actually not shown doing ANYTHING, either locked-up or sending henchmen to do his job...all the while the new Q is screaming "OMFG HE HACKED US GUSY OMG HAX" at the top of his lungs. Plugging your laptop into a network hackable by the villain - genius, Q.
The villain also had no character and an incredibly pathetic death. "Cmon, lets both go together" he says and after 007 throws a big-ass knife into his back the guy turns around with a puzzled look on his face, even slightly annoyed as he was implying "dude what the hell? You impaled me with a knife, this stings a bit you know?" before collapsing. Alright I know he had no internal organs due to the cyanide, but it was still a pretty terrible death. I guess after he saw 007 and his henchman fall through he ice he laughed probably thinking "yay that should sort itself out, no way 007 will survive icy water". Stupid, stupid, stupid.
- The helicopter explosion. I know in movies explosions seemingly come out of nowhere, but I would probably have to give the crown jewel of "pulled an explosion out of it's ass" to when the helicopter crashed into one CORNER of the house (it was a big house) and about ~25 tons of TNT blew the entire house sky high.
The movie is just riddled with one-liners and cliches, random sex scenes, flimsy characters, flimsy plot...not enjoyable.
IIn conclusion, I'll keep it short:
TL;DR VERSION - MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4 WAS A BETTER JAMES BOND MOVIE THAN SKYFALL.
Think about it. Ethan Hunt was basically Bond, equipped with the latest gadgets, awesome sidekicks/support characters, a fast-paced plot, a great villain. The only thing it's missing is the random Bond sexual encounters lol.
