Notch Tweets Rage Over Minecraft Party Sexual Assault

[samahain]

Well it could have gone far worse. Everybody seems to have handled it wrong.

A glorified bouncer who doesn't know how to handle lewd patyiers. *Golf Clap*
A woman who tolerates that sort of nonsense? IT IS YOUR PREROGATIVE TO MAKE AS MUCH FUSS AS POSSIBLE WOMAN!!!! How are the good guys supposed to rescue you if you don't scream?!?!
And a walking stereotype who should be locked up.

I'm counting on you Mr. Persson!

 

[jbm1986]

If a dude pulls his penis out of his pants...punch it.

Seriously he was just asking for it right there.

Made me think of:

OT: It's a shame the guy got away and wasn't dealt with right after. Maybe she was in shock and couldn't scream/shout/etc. Who knows. I do hope they find the guy and punish him.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

]Trust me, you feel a lot of shame and embarrassment. Depending on just what happens, you can feel extremely dirty, used and degraded, like you are worth less now because of it.

Not saying she feels this way. Just explaining how and a little bit of why one feels this way when they are abused or assaulted.

I know this isnt anything like what happened to this poor girl but ive been there. Its weird. It makes NO SENSE. I dont feel comfortable about sharing details but ive been the victim of a mugging before and the feeling is horrible afterwards. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed... it must be a billion times worse for this poor girl. I tried to laugh it off, i didnt lose a lot and i was ok, but it was a pretty shitty experience. I didnt want people to pity me or make a big deal or even know. I kinda felt like it was my fault for not avoiding it. I didnt contact the police because i felt it was so pointless. Who is going to care? It was over 10 quid and the guy ran like fuck so what can anyone do? Its so strange that I feel ashamed and wierded out when the CRIMINAL should be the one feeling that. I imagine he gave zero shits. How come i get to be the victim of the crime AND the shitty feelings. Those should be for him! Its a weird feeling. Im sure its been documented many times. But i understand it totally and it makes me feel a little more normal knowing others have this same feeling. Its terrible. I hope she feels better.

Girl didnt deserve it obviously. She should have contacted someone as soon as possible but i can totally see why she didnt because i didnt either. In hindsight to my experience i can say it DOES matter and that guard SHOULD listen and that she shouldn't think it was her fault or that it didnt matter or that it would ruin the party for anyone. The perp should feel guilt. He should feel like total shit. Not her. Its totally mixed up and i have no fucking clue why this is. But it needs to stop.

 

[I.Muir]

No doubt this will somehow reflect badly on the gaming community
The whole thing is kind of sad

 

[Hitchmeister]

Okay, I'm going to take an extremely unpopular stance here and defend the security guy a bit. It sounds like some time had passed since the incident and the guilty party could not be identified when security was notified. At that point there probably was virtually nothing he could do. At worst he phrased the fact of his inability to do anything poorly. Now if the perpetrator could have been identified, he should have been at a minimum ejected, and most likely the police notified.

 

[itsthesheppy]

.................... *goes on for eternity like that*...

Why wouldn't you go get help? Why would that effect you so badly? Why didn't the security guard do SOMETHING (even if it was to offer solace)? Why wasn't there a better investigation where you could get a sketch of the dude or security photage? just WHY?!

To be honest, a part of this sounds fishy to me. Almost like the girl is fabricating the whole thing. BUT I ONLY SAY THAT BECAUSE... well... Who just walks away after a creepy dude puts his dick on you? NO NO, who let's themselves be in that situation?

I'm sure that there's a bunch of people who could jump all over me for what I just said. But honestly? It's really a whole lot less about what I just said, and a whole lot more of "WHY?!" This whole thing's just bizarre.

I'm surprised you're surprised, because the situation reported in the OP is actually quite common. A great deal of sexual assaults, from simple things like being flashed to full-on rape, don't get reports, and just a few of the factors include embarrassment, not wanting to make a scene and 'be a victim', and fear of the reaction you're having right there in your post: that she maybe 'made it all up'.

Something between 3-8% of sexual assault claimed are fabricated. It's very rare.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

I was out with couple of mates a while back. At some point in the night this really really REALLY drunk gay dude who everyone in the place had seen making an arse of himself comes over us and starts talking nonsense and getting really....touchy feely with all of us. Me in particular.

Long story short. The dude put his arm around my shoulder and shoved his tongue in my ear. Fun times(?). So I push the guy away, told him to fuck off and then my friends and I all had a laugh about it later on.

Now I'm probably pretty damn wrong here but I can't help but draw comparisons between that and the dude putting the girls hand on his dick. Sure it was certainly......unpleasant. But sexual assault?

Thoughts? Opinions? Statements telling me I'm wrong/right/fucked up? Boudica jumping down my throat?

Well, that's not quite the same. Change guy licked my ear to made me grab his dick, change I pushed him to then he got away, add in a bit where you asked security for help and they said to you "Fuck off, I can't do anything.", and end it with the guy getting away scott free. Then how do you think you would feel? Also, remember your friends are not there with you when this happens either.

Thing is, for men&women there is a lot of bad things in our culture when it comes to sexual assault. For example, look at how many times she says she didn't want to make a big deal of it at the time, or how she felt ashamed. Why? Why does she feel like she is at fault when the guy who did this is in the wrong? Well, just look at this thread. People making the whole thing a joke, people saying the guy was "just doing what's normal", people saying she should feel ashamed for talking about it at all, and people saying she made the whole thing up for attention.

This kind of stuff is not uncommon, sadly. Put a person in this kind of evnironment where the victim is treated as bad or worce than the assaulter, and add in there that when she tried to get her it got her nowhere, and of course she's going to feel terrible. Wouldn't you feel like crap if no one helped you? Or worse told you to just get over it?

You're not "fucked up" friend, but I think your forgetting some of the details of this situation are a good deal different from the one you were in. You were with your friends, you had support, you got to "get back" at the guy who messed with you, but in this case this lady had/got none of that.

That's my bit bud. So tell me what ya think. Do you see what I mean, or should I have just written this kanji?

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Woah. That quote is all kinds of messed up. The forum is eating many a quote lately, yarrrr. *waves hook hand at the forum*

OT: I think it's because you are forced into submission, to be lesser than the dirty, nasty, bad, looked down upon criminal. You feel degraded and shameful because you failed to defend yourself and because they, for that moment, had all the power in the world over you.

Of course, none of it is the victim's fault--absolutely ZERO--but that's how you think in the situation, yeah.

From what youve said there and what i think i agree that its basically human nature to feel this way after someone has power over you to that degree and makes you feel insignificant. There isnt really a way to totally remove this feeling forever and get people to actually stand up for themselves because its an inbuilt human emotion. However i think treating every case like this seriously and that its DEFINITELY a "Big deal" if the victim is so emotionally rocked by it will improve the situation greatly.

This is the kind of thing they should teach you in those shitty "life skills" classes instead of "How to get a mobile phone contract". How to effectively combat this feeling so that the guilty party is punished and reported as soon as possible and the victim is made to feel morally justified and normal doing so. It isnt "attention". It isnt ruining anyone elses fun. It isnt anything except making sure society and justice function as intended, and not only do you have every right to complain but its good of you to do it as soon as possible. Not only for her but for everyone else this weirdo might go around touching. I despise victim blaming. Its the kind of thing some people who have never felt this feeling will never understand and will be like "WTF why didnt she say anything! How can she be upset now?!". The idea the guilty party got away because the victim felt so bad physically disgusts me. How dare he escape just because he emotionally unsettled her. Thats not how it should be.

 

[Schadrach]

I've heard a similar sentiment before, from a number of people.
I can sort of agree, but at the same time I think it needs to be discussed in a different context. Bringing up male sexual harrasment is definitely important and should really be more open to discussion, but talking about it in threads concentrating on female sexual harrasment is just inviting idiots to start going "see? men have it JUST as bad!"

You really can't have a thread on that topic though; they typically very quickly get turned around into threads about female sexual harassment and then it becomes inappropriate to talk about. Ditto any other gender topic that doesn't conform to the typical men = bad, perpetrators; women = good, victims; an effort is made to turn it around.

What exactly was this security guard meant to do exactly?

This is really the $64 million question. Aside from maybe be more tactful in telling her that there's little he could do. I'd actually like to hear an answer to it: What would you have the security guard do? He had a vague description of someone who had probably already left the party, and no evidence that anything had actually happened except the word of the alleged victim. What should he have done? Round up every Asian male at the party until he hit the right one (if present), maybe perp walk them into a holding area so he doesn't get any repeats?

I had someone outright try to drown me (they pushed me under, stood on top of me, and used the side of the pool to brace against to keep pressing down on me) at a public pool when I was 13, and after squirming free, reaching the surface, and coughing up half a breath of water that I took in the last few inches of the way up, slumped against the side of the pool less than five feet from the lifeguard's stand, I got a similar reaction from the lifeguard, except that I had the benefit of being able to point the individual who did it out before getting told that they didn't see it and wouldn't do anything about it. It was more than a decade before I went to that pool again (and then it was on the insistence of my nieces). So, yeah people who are ostensibly there for safety or security purposes being ineffective or even indifferent is something I am quite thoroughly personally aware of, and I honestly don't think it's a gendered problem.

The guard reacted like he did because we live in a society where this kind of shit is expected. We teach women not to get raped and shrug off men who can't have a little self-control with "Boys will be boys."

It's sick. And at least in America, it's encouraged. Look at our politicians...

Is that the reason? Or is it unreasonable to be expected to track down "Asian male" who may or may not still be present for an unwitnessed misdemeanor?

No doubt this will somehow reflect badly on the gaming community
The whole thing is kind of sad

Our "good friends" at Shakesville posted about this whole mess, just so you could be right: http://www.shakesville.com/2012/09/oh-look-its-time-to-talk-about-gamer.html

 

[Sean Deli]

Long story short. The dude put his arm around my shoulder and shoved his tongue in my ear. Fun times(?). So I push the guy away, told him to fuck off and then my friends and I all had a laugh about it later on.

Now I'm probably pretty damn wrong here but I can't help but draw comparisons between that and the dude putting the girls hand on his dick. Sure it was certainly......unpleasant. But sexual assault?

Corporate party. One of our executive assistants gets really drunk and starts grinding herself on my leg. I joke it off and walk away. This goes on for a whole fucking evening.

My HR (a woman) notices and says "Didn't know you had something going on with her?"
I answer "Neither did I"
HR "Ok, then I am not going there"

But, hey - men can't possibly be victims of sexual assault, no can they.

Back on track.

This whole "slight hint of sexual assault = murder the accused with a rusty mallet" thing is well described in Girlwriteswhat's videos. Specifically this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuJJuK7ADk8&feature=plcp

It all has to do with agency and objectification. Being an agent meaning having influence over stuff that happens to you. Being treated as an object means that you are considered to have no agency what so ever. Currently things are pretty messed up when we talk about objectification of women. And no - video games are not worst offenders in this regard. Feminists are.

Now read the next line slowly.
Saying that sexual assault victim could not have done ANYTHING differently to prevent the event from happening (!)is objectification(!)
Banning people from suggesting that people in the "sexual assault risk group" (pretty, outgoing, drunk) could benefit from going through sexual assault prevention drill (not being alone, not being that drunk, not continuing a conversation with a dodgy drunk stranger) (!)is objectification(!)
Saying that a WHOLE EFFING GENDER has to be protected WHOLESALE by a DIFFERENT WHOLE EFFING GENDER 24/7 (!!!) IS THE MOST EXTREME CASE OF OBJECTIFICATION POSSIBLE(!!!)

If I ever have a daughter, I'll do for her the most feminist thing I can think off - I'll send her to karate lessons. I'll treat her and raise her as an agent, responsible for all the shit that will happen to her in her life, both good and bad.

You know, same education that I received growing up as a boy.

 

[chadachada123]

2: So from what you're saying is that it's insulting to you because they assume you'd suffer like they did?
You're not very empathetic are you? Someone who has gone through those very experiences probably couldn't see how you wouldn't react like they did.
There is some serious arrogance in your statement, you could only guess how you would react and not say for definite.

3: Do you even realise how far you're running with such a minor point right now? Someone assumed you would need help if you were to suffer such an attack and you're actually reacting like they're infringing upon you somehow? lol
As I said, delicate flower.

4That analogy is completely off and it isn't over generalizing it's just an assumption. Either way, none of those two are insulting.

5: Because you're calling "You would probably suffer just as much as anybody else" insane. That's why.
Again, it belittles nobody so stop playing that card.

Empathetic is not equivalent to saying that someone WILL go through the very same experience. I'm very capable of empathy. I'm very capable of looking at someone's situation and seeing how THEY could suffer from it.

She said I will absolutely be traumatized. She didn't say probably. She didn't say most likely. She said that I absolutely will.

If she would back off and just say "not everyone is alike, but most people yada yada," then we would have never had this problem to begin with.

Number five is the most hilarious and most incorrect of your points, because she did not say "You would probably suffer." She said I WILL suffer.

If you can't see the major distinction between the two (between PROBABLY and ABSOLUTELY), then there's no sense in continuing this conversation since we're clearly speaking separate languages.