Now, YOU'RE thinking with portals.

[Copter400]

I'd steal a bunch of stuff. Maybe backhand a few people. That's the only good use I can think of for a gun that shoots portals.

 

[LordOmnit]

Maybe someone else has said this before, maybe not, but I'd take a sealed container with no air or other particles besides a steel ball inside and a mechanical arm to move the ball, set one portal on the top and the other on the bottom, then drop the steel ball and watch as it approached the speed of light and possibly beyond if it didn't end up turning into energy when it reached the speed of light.
Or I'd use it as a convenient means to not have to ever leave my bed, by doing so once, then shooting through the original potral repeatedly to create a new one and work my way to wherever I needed to get to. Assuming you can do something like that.

 

[Bubble Six [deprecated]]

Uff...xbeaker got the electromagnetic-induction-thing out before me
Anyway..I've been thinking about it and..no..portals are fun, but not the definitive solution! To get somewhere with a portal, you have to be there by yourself before! So want to get to your office? Go there and set a portal! And leave it constantly open! I wouldn't burn my only portal solution this way..To have a tunnel in my house in permanent connection with the place a hate most?..bleah..

And I'm starting loving this forum..so clean..no puns intended..no one making cheap sexual comments..

Yer all liars. Self-fellatio is where it's at. Don't tell me you haven't tried it, sans-portalgun.

Damn you! XD
But I have to admit. Nice first post.

But no, I'm afraid portals are not the final solution for all of us devoted to the lazyness god. Here's a list of the reasons:
-You have to walk to a place to set a portal (paradox: I'd like to set a portal to a place tele-portaling myself)
-You can't exit a room with a closed door,you have to open it before (that bothers me, you know..step out of a room takes away all the fun)
-You can't have one on your fridge door (move the door, the portal vanish. And even if..it's like having a frige with a hole beneath you. A solution to summer overheating, but not always pleasant.

And to all the shop-lifter,burglars,smugglers and so on..well, as previously mentioned, you have to move to a place to shoot the portal first.
So here comes the question: how do you enter a bank with such a thing in your hands? It's white and shiny, ok, but I don't think they'll buy a "it's my new iPod!"
And if..can you imagine a shop owner saying "I'm sure this big orange hole was not here, 5 minutes ago!"

But yeah, I'd totally use it this way:

6. Lunch break, dress up as your boss, appear behind him claiming you are him from the distant future's possible past and watch him try to work that out.

Or..well I'd like to have a shower Niagara-Style in my bathroom, all I need is a few buckets of water and a couple of portals..


Late Edit:
Sorry Geoffrey...to use multiple quotes I just exploited the error by xbeaker, who failed a quote and let some code exposed.. I just copied that and your name was in. Corrected

 

[Geoffrey42]

*WRONG*

Damn you! XD
But I have to admit. Nice first post.

Despite your compliments, I would prefer it if you un-mis-quoted me.

 

[madmurch]

I don't know what good an apeture-creating gun would do me: it woun't help me decide between which is funnier between Katana 314 ("I would probably make portals inside rickety buildings, then step out of them onto a balcony...wait for a guy in an orange suit to drive by, straighten my tie, and go back through the portal, closing it behind me.") and krysalist ("Remember when you told them the cake was a lie and they were quiet and then CantFaketheFunk said not to say that? That was great"). So I'd probably just use it to get to and from work quickly. I really do have very modest ambitions...

 

[killhour]

I can't believe nobody's stated the obvious... put one under my GF's bedsheets

 

[Bubble Six [deprecated]]

I can't believe nobody's stated the obvious... put one under my GF's bedsheets

Mh..you're right..One on your GF's bedsheets..
the other in MY bed

 

[Kronopticon]

a lot of you are missing the fact that as long as you can look at it, you can shoot it, and make a portal, ergo, you could stand on top of large buildings and go anywhere in a city, you COULD also theoretically fire it at the moon
get rif of enemies permanently, fire them at the sun, who cares, one slight problem as the sun might just come through the portal
or that air will be sucked through, or that the earth is moving, so they will never be in the same relative position, so maybe just having a portal below them and one underneath a very high bridge, that would work, anyway, you could, as many perverts have stated, do a whole variety of sexual acts with the portals, but, i would steal very awesome stuff from shops by making a portal above my bed, and then, i make a portal under the expensive items, causing them to fall onto my bed, hopefully safely, getting the best stuff in the world, they would figure it out eventually, especially if the government invented it, but by that time, i'd either be dead, or hidden in a remote country where i am king.

 

[Bubble Six [deprecated]]

a lot of you are missing the fact that as long as you can look at it, you can shoot it, and make a portal, ergo, you could stand on top of large buildings and go anywhere in a city, you COULD also theoretically fire it at the moon
get rif of enemies permanently, fire them at the sun, who cares, one slight problem as the sun might just come through the portal
or that air will be sucked through, or that the earth is moving, so they will never be in the same relative position, so maybe just having a portal below them and one underneath a very high bridge, that would work, anyway, you could, as many perverts have stated, do a whole variety of sexual acts with the portals, but, i would steal very awesome stuff from shops by making a portal above my bed, and then, i make a portal under the expensive items, causing them to fall onto my bed, hopefully safely, getting the best stuff in the world, they would figure it out eventually, especially if the government invented it, but by that time, i'd either be dead, or hidden in a remote country where i am king.

Personally, I think the most complicated part of the game is the synchro required sometimes in the game. An energy ball approaches, the gate is shutting and you have to guess when it's the right time to shoot. Not too soon, not too late. And most of this difficulty is based on the fact that well..portals are travelling from your gun to the wall at a relatively slow speed. Surely inferior to a bullet's average speed. Now..if the light needs about 8mins to get to the sun, tripping at around 300k km/s. A normal bullet is around 300m/s. that is..100.000 times less. So, even mantaining its momentum, i'd say it needs about 800.000 minutes. aka 555 days. A year and a half. I guess the previously mentioned foes would have plenty of time to get rid of you -before- and in many different creative ways

I'm sorry...it's just a crappy late night thought, but hey!
Japanese people just imagined an italian plumber cracking his head on some ceilings, while eating mushroom & flowers short before he tripped to the galaxy where, jumping on the planets, he collects glowing stars (lol)
Can't an ordinary italian guy just write down his own trip just before going to sleep?

 

[dee_dubs]

Putting a portal on the moon would be interesting. The main problem would be the atmosphere on the earth side of the portal being sucked through along with anyone or anything that's not secured. If you were able to put the earth-side portal inside an airlock it could work. It would do wonders for space exploration as well (No more having to burn 500,000 gallons of fuel to get into space if you've got a shortcut).

It would also be interesting for teraforming. Need to move hundreds of thousands of gallons of water from one planet to another? we have a solution.

 

[xbeaker]

Bubble Six.. you could use it to rob a bank, sort of. You set up a portal at home (in the shower ideally.) Walk into a bank wearing a good mask, packing a portal gun, and a regular one for good measure. Rob the bank for all you can get. When the cops show up, you portal out of there. Then open a fast portal of the same type to close the one you left at the bank, clean and simple.

When they dye pack blows... well, that is why I said to set the portal up in your shower

 

[Easykill]

With all this stealing stuff... What would a shopkeeper think if you entered the store with a portal gun?

 

[Duck Sandwich]

Welp, first, I'd get some mats. Those big blue mats they use in gym class in school. Then I'd probably screw around with gravity by making two portals on different spots on the same floor. I'd jump footfirst into one portal, then emerge upside down out of the other. I'd jump at an angle so that I'm not just constantly falling back and forth between portals.

Now that I think about it, I'd probably get a broken neck if I tried that. I've always wondered how Chell's magic anti-fall damage boots protected her from that.

Or... something I like to refer to as the Catapult.

I have one room with a portal on the wall. In front of the portal is a long, blue mat which I'll use as a sort of "airplane landing strip" except with me instead of an airplane. Another portal is just outside my house. I jump out of the house into said portal (making positively sure to NOT MISS) and fly out the other side, thrown sideways by gravity and rolling and bouncing furiously on the mat.

 

[TSED]

This all assumes, of course, that it requires no energy to maintain the portals.

 

[Vigormortis]

The cake is a lie, people.

And yet it isn't. Absolutely brilliant game by the way, it's been quite a while since a game made laugh that much.

As for potential usage of a portal gun: Either creating a everlasting supply of clean energy (imagine one portal at the bottom of a dam, the other one at the top) or using it to attend lectures while in the comfort of my own home.

trouble is, the portal gun needs power to keep the portals open. so it wouldn't really be perpetual, but it'd be "dam" cool. (and save space. think about indoor hydroelectric generators) for me, i'd use it in anyway i could possibly think of. i would sell my car, cause, who'd need it?

 

[Scammy]

If only we could adjust portal sizes. Pinhead sized hole in the girl's locker room, window sized portal in my room...

Just kidding

Anyways, I think I'd have to go with the travelling idea. Put one portal on another continent, one in my house. That way, if I feel like chinese food, I can have the real stuff instead of take-out.

 

[DrmChsr0]

I'd use it to give me the best sex ever.

And then I'll touch the tip and die.

 

[Calite]

If I was terminally ill, I would perform the single most complex and tedious line of portal moves ever imagine by anyone to gain enough momentum to obtain escape velocity and blast off into space with no visible propulsion. It would be the coolest way to die ever, hands down.

 

[Niccolo]

I know what I'd do... I'd mess with cats. Open two portals on the ground, drop a cat into one. It'll pop up out of the other and try and invert itself - as they do. Then spit, rinse and repeat

Or set up a portal connection to my girlfriend's house.

 

[LordOmnit]

This all assumes, of course, that it requires no energy to maintain the portals.

The amount of energy required to create them would exceed the mass/energy conversion of the gun in reality probably, so if it can be put into a portable gun, then I wouldn't expect it to require much energy in non-reality.