offended by the word fat?

[Hunter Hyena]

Recently my mom and I got into a discussion about something that has perplexed us, and that is, why is calling someone fat considered bad? I've even been told that the term 'bigger' was bad, when that's as sugar coated as I can make it. Is there a proper term I should use? I don't get offended by being called skinny when it's being used in the same context one would call another fat. Hell I've been compared to twigs, which would...technically be a worse term.

Thoughts?

 

[omega 616]

Society says that a higher bmi is unattractive, so by saying "fat" as a short hand to bmi, you're saying "you're unattractive". There is also a stigma that being fat means you're unhygienic and/or smelly... None of which are positive things.

While you might be saying "fat" in a purely descriptive sense, it still has negative connotations to it as listed above.

Sorry if that sounds "douchey", been doing business planning all day and I needed to write like that

 

[Baron von Blitztank]

Sorry, I just had to!

Modern day society tends to have a focus on thin people, so people take offense when called fat since it implies that said person is an anomaly and has no place in said society.

 

[krazykidd]

Society says that a higher bmi is unattractive, so by saying "fat" as a short hand to bmi, you're saying "you're unattractive". There is also a stigma that being fat means you're unhygienic and/or smelly... None of which are positive things.

While you might be saying "fat" in a purely descriptive sense, it still has negative connotations to it as listed above.

Sorry if that sounds "douchey", been doing business planning all day and I needed to write like that

This . But because i like fat women , i usually say it on purpose weather they like it or not . If i am attempting to date said women , they half to a) accept they are fat and b) not get offended. However , i do let them know that if they weren't fat i wouldn't be attracted to them.

Now that i think about it , this is probably not the same thing , but i hate when people tell me or describe me as being black . As if i didn't know or as if it was THE thing that defines me .

 

[Dangit2019]

As someone who is slightly overweight, I call myself a fat bastard all the time. I don't give a crap, because I'm not someone who spends all day getting offended over everything.

 

[NightmareExpress]

The same reason people are offended when I say "hey, I think you are ugly, not symmetrical and a completely inferior being than I, but I'll still make pointless chit chat with you just because I'm bored". It's the cold hard truth of the matter, but people can't handle it. You're supposed to refer to them as an individual without any ulterior labels unless they happen to be positive or neutral. If they self-recognize or accept as such (in a positive manner), then you could probably go on ahead and say it without running the risk of being/appearing rude to them.

...Looking at my first sentence, that might have been a more extreme and possibly fictitious example. But I think it carries the same weight as any of the alternate things I would have typed, so I'll just leave it as is.

Also, I'm not sure if you are aware of it, but modern society seems to be fixated on anorexics for whatever reason.
Fat is the opposite of skinny, and the western definition of "beauty" seems to be "pretty damn skinny". Therefore, a lot of people think fat is an insult meaning "ugly" rather than a genuine descriptor of size/appearance and that "skinny" means pretty and is practically a compliment.

My personal metric of beauty would have to be being neither fat nor skinny.
Being healthy, strong and looking as though you won't starve or keel over from complications. Shame the public apparently doesn't agree. But enough of "beauty", this is turning into something subjective and pointless.

Would you not find it rude to have somebody use your size to entirely describe you?
You aren't that sharp individual who has a name and an interest in "x"...you're that fat guy over there, or that skinny guy over there. This is in addition to what was said two paragraphs up. That's my guess on why somebody might get offended by it.

 

[lechat]

i personally don't understand it myself. as someone who has run the gambit of obese to ripped muscle machine and back again several times all i can say is if you are overweight and happy with it then it shouldn't bother you. if you are overweight and likely to cry if i call you fat then get off your fat ass and lose some weight
i also don't think fat is an appropriate term and think overweight or obese would be more correct

to the inevitable slew of ppl about to come in here crying that society hates anyone who isn't anorexic you should seriously wake the fuck up. just go take a look at any of the worlds top X hottest women and try to realize that while they may be substantially skinnier than yourself or the average person they are more than likely considered close to the ideal weight

i also don't want to hear the usual bullshit how women are always anorexic unachievable twig goddesses in the media and men are all obese trolls

 

[Zhukov]

Disclaimer: I am overweight.

People don't like to have attention drawn to their physical flaws.

Come on man, it's not that hard to understand.

 

[the clockmaker]

Someone who has genetic predisposition to an increased BMI- Stout, portly, larger, maybe overwieght.
Someone who drinks nothing but coke, eats nothing but maccas and refuses to do any exercise-Fat.

At least, that's how I see it.

 

[thesilentman]

Meh, I just suck it up and say that I'm trying to avoid this as I grow older. Now why I can't call a woman fat is beyond me...

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Disclaimer: I am overweight.

People don't like to have attention drawn to their physical flaws.

Come on man, it's not that hard to understand.

I thought that was fairly obvious. It's social skills 101, people don't like to be reminded about their problems all the time.

 

[VanQ]

I don't think the problem is that people get too offended for being called fat. I think the problem is us thinner people that can't help our condition due to hyperthyroidism or overactive metabolisms should be more offended when we're called skinny or compared to a particular He-Man villain.

Not that I have any particular intention to get all offended over name calling. I lean on the side of letting that kind of this slide off my back because I don't care. But still, calling someone skinny that doesn't like it is no better than calling a big person fat that doesn't like it.

 

[Elfgore]

My friends joke about my weight all the time. I have a long running nickname Chubs Mcgee. I don't care I understand I'm overweight no point in not having a good laugh about it. And no I don't have low self esteem I most likely have more than most my friends.

 

[The Ubermensch]

Society says that a higher bmi is unattractive, so by saying "fat" as a short hand to bmi, you're saying "you're unattractive". There is also a stigma that being fat means you're unhygienic and/or smelly... None of which are positive things.

While you might be saying "fat" in a purely descriptive sense, it still has negative connotations to it as listed above.

Sorry if that sounds "douchey", been doing business planning all day and I needed to write like that

This . But because i like fat women , i usually say it on purpose weather they like it or not . If i am attempting to date said women , they half to a) accept they are fat and b) not get offended. However , i do let them know that if they weren't fat i wouldn't be attracted to them.

Now that i think about it , this is probably not the same thing , but i hate when people tell me or describe me as being black . As if i didn't know or as if it was THE thing that defines me .

People want terms so they can cohort people easily. I inherently dislike that but it's a reactionary impulse which rightly or wrongly helps you make judgements. It helps us know how to behave around a bunch of strangers

What am I trying to say... Stereotypes exist for a reason? Thats true, most people try to conform to the culture so they will be accepted, deep down, their motivations, there thoughts are all unique but on the surface most people will attempt to conform to their cohorts appearance and attitudes so they can be accepted.

That's stereotyping; the necessary evil of day to day life, now look at the traits the fat stereotype has associated with it. It's seen as unhealthy, and these health issues put a drain on the health system among other things.

At the end of the day it's just a word, but its the meanings associated with it that make it problematic.

Unless you're INTJ master race, because INTJs are who they are and make no apologies for it.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

"Fat" is definitely descriptive. Fat people may get offended though so why risk it, nobody wants to hurt anybody.

Society says that a higher bmi is unattractive, so by saying "fat" as a short hand to bmi, you're saying "you're unattractive". There is also a stigma that being fat means you're unhygienic and/or smelly... None of which are positive things.

While you might be saying "fat" in a purely descriptive sense, it still has negative connotations to it as listed above.

Sorry if that sounds "douchey", been doing business planning all day and I needed to write like that

This . But because i like fat women , i usually say it on purpose weather they like it or not . If i am attempting to date said women , they half to a) accept they are fat and b) not get offended. However , i do let them know that if they weren't fat i wouldn't be attracted to them.

Now that i think about it , this is probably not the same thing , but i hate when people tell me or describe me as being black . As if i didn't know or as if it was THE thing that defines me .

People want terms so they can cohort people easily. I inherently dislike that but it's a reactionary impulse which rightly or wrongly helps you make judgements. It helps us know how to behave around a bunch of strangers

What am I trying to say... Stereotypes exist for a reason? Thats true, most people try to conform to the culture so they will be accepted, deep down, their motivations, there thoughts are all unique but on the surface most people will attempt to conform to their cohorts appearance and attitudes so they can be accepted.

That's stereotyping; the necessary evil of day to day life, now look at the traits the fat stereotype has associated with it. It's seen as unhealthy, and these health issues put a drain on the health system among other things.

At the end of the day it's just a word, but its the meanings associated with it that make it problematic.

Unless you're INTJ master race, because INTJs are who they are and make no apologies for it.

The hell's INTJ?

 

[Happiness Assassin]

The word "fat" has generally negative connotations, but it be far isn't the worst term. Call someone corpulent or even morbidly obese and see if they aren't more offended.

 

[Risingblade]

People rarely say it without ill intention?

 

[Tyler Trahan]

I used to be 315 lbs (I'm now 250 after a year or so: not tiny but much better), and it all depends on the use of the word. Fat CAN sound very harsh, but I mean... it's just the more blunt way of saying larger, big, overweight, whatever. I mean we should be honest with ourselves as to what we are: skinny, fat, average, broad, lean, whatever. I know a lot of people don't believe this but it's not so much the word but the connotation; i have a few friends who call me fat and who I call fat back, but if a stranger called me fat with ill-intent I'd be insulted. It all depends really.

 

[Burnswell]

Oh, you're stupid btw, that's just a observation, nothing ill intentioned about it. That could be true but why the heck would anyone bring it up? It's not the word "fat", it's the act of calling them something. It's not like saying hey you have something on your shoe. Oh shit I've got fat on me? where did that come from, thanks for telling me *takes fat off*. Bloody hell, I wonder how long I've been walking around with that on. If only someone had brought attention to it sooner.