Ohhhh, you're one of *those* people..

[Emilin_Rose]

its funny, because more than once people have asked if i'm a goth, an emo, or a twitard when they meet me.

I'm not any of those things. I'm obscenely pale because i never go outside. I never go outside because i'm usually sick and even when i'm not i'd rather be playing video games. Someone once asked about me playing my gameboy outside. Why would i go outside to play my gameboy, when its like 75 feet i could just as easily not walk to get downstairs and outside.

So nuts to your judgments.

i have been judgmental before myself however. I'm biased against anyone on an athletic team or a cheerleading squad. Or anyone who spends more than a half hour getting ready in the morning for any reason other than some chronic condition which requires them to wear a wig and glue on half their face. I think they're usually bad people. Jr high and my first high school didn't help that much. but when i went to my second high school after we moved, they were all really nice. then we moved again and i had to go to the one bus stop in town half an hour away and ride 2 hours into town to get to school. but it was better than the school in this little town. a good half the school was on the sports/cheerleading team. bearing in mind there were only like 200 kids in the school. i didn't trust it.

 

[bigolbear]

The fact is as human beings we judge our environment (including other people) based on our preconceptions of what is the average(ie normal) so that we can assess its threat and usefulness. This is instinct. This instinct is franky the main reason for racism, sexism and any other damn 'ism' you care to name. we feel at home with our own culture and people that think and act like we do.. and we feel uncomfortable and posibly excited when in unusual environments or when mixing with people of differing cultures and attitudes. This is because on an instinctive level we are assessing any threats to us and any opportunities we may have. The fact that you opened up to this person, whom you clearly view as significantly diferent to your self is because you saw an oportunity(perhaps learning from them about how they see the world).

However it is important to remember that as human beings we are not simply governed by our instincts - our higher mind plays an important part in our development and understanding. We are capable of reaching out and embracing other cultures, and when i say cultures i mean any variance from how you and your peers act.. a heavy drinking boxing fan smoker athiest can become freinds with a Tea total preist thats into opera. well you get the idea any way.

In the case of this 'weird' chap... im sure he has a few frineds - most people do, and maybe he went and talked to them about a funy day he had where one of them 'NORMAL' kids actualy made the effort to get to know him.

Id say ignore any abuse you have here - well done on raising an interesting subject.

 

[Daveman]

There is no such thing as a subconscious. Not if you believe in real science that is.

... what? I'm pretty sure there is...

but yeah, on some other bullshit points made by people who got bullied a lot...

I think lots of people who get bullied in the above way often have a holier-than-thou opinion because they think "I'm too good, that's why they pick on me, because they're jealous" (not in all cases mind you) which is pretty much what's going through the minds of the other people. So doesn't that makes us all equally judgemental? woo peace and love.

besides what's wrong with people judging other people, you see a dodgy looking guy outside a school, you think "ZOMG, paedo!" if he's not, oh well, if he is, thank fuck for your brain keeping the little kiddies bitties intact.

 

[Daedalus1942]

He is really weird. He sits and hums to himself, dances on the stop and spaztastically, talks about the most obscure things, and laughs for no reason.

Sounds like a guy who enjoys life. I'd like to meet him. You on the other hand, no thanks.

 

[Disaster Button]

And as soon as he walks in everyone starts laughing and talking about him quietly, myself included.

I lost respect for you around here.

But just like most times people make judgements like that about another school kid, they turned out right.

It went downhill even more here.

He is really weird. He sits and hums to himself, dances on the stop and spaztastically, talks about the most obscure things, and laughs for no reason.

Nobody laughs for without a reason, just because you don't know what it is doesn't mean it does not exist. He was probably thinking about chopping all the judgemental pricks up with an axe for laughing at him.

Now this is all well and good but how did they know he was gonna turn out like that just based on his looks? And do you think it's wrong?

No it isn't, they didn't, and yes it is.

They are pricks, and would have made those comments even if he acted normal.

Lose respect for me if you want, I did, but I'm not gonna lie about it to make myself feel better.

It was mainly my own prejudgements that triggered this thought. And while I agree that it's wrong. They did actually guess right, even if it was a prejudgement based on looks.

I highly doubt your guesses were right. Perhaps they were right to you but were they right to anyone else? While the people in class thinks he is weird he may think your entire class is weird for whispering. Everyone is weird in their own way. I find it weird someone would make a topic about this. I am weird myself. I listen to my MP3 player and ignore everyone except my friends and family.

The only way to actually make a judge of his character is to get to know him.

It wasn't as much of a guess than it was an initial reaction. Literally it was just like "He looks weird" which is what I said and all I said. Sadly people have said a lot worse and someone I know actualyl said they " really don't like him" today just because he ran in a classroom. Which didn't sit right with me at all, especially after all the tihnking I did over what I did.

But to answer your question, my guess were right to a degree. He is "weird" but not unlikable to me. Like I said I didn't just make a prejudgement and leave it at that.

 

[Disaster Button]

Yeah actually. It didn't go to well and was kinda weird. Although the fact he's writing a novel interests me as I like to write sometimes. But aside from that it was just odd

Are you sure that feeling wasn't just a result of you assuming that he's a freak from the very beginning and that any form of confrontation with him would be odd?

Do you know what a self-fulfilling prophecy is?

Yeah I do know what it is. But I wouldn't let one little insignificant thought affect my perception of a person when I genuinely wanna get to know them. To actually alter your perception of someone to prove a prejudgement correct is just wrong. Even more wrong than what I did

 

[Disaster Button]

It was mainly my own prejudgements that triggered this thought. And while I agree that it's wrong. They did actually guess right, even if it was a prejudgement based on looks.

What is normal and what is weird are purely subjective so no, you are not right nor wrong in saying he is weird, that is an opinion not a statement of fact.

Not only that, "weird" is about as vague a discription as you could possibly get. There are two perceptions of people you would have, normal and weird. That means that whatever happens, you had a 50% chance of being correct. If I said "The next person to walk into the room will be a girl" and it was, I wouldn't consider that interesting. It's called chance.

While I wouldn't say that it jsut comes down to "normal" or "weird" I do get the rest of your post

Yeah I do know what it is. But I wouldn't let one little insignificant thought affect my perception of a person when I genuinely wanna get to know them. To actually alter your perception of someone to prove a prejudgement correct is just wrong. Even more wrong than what I did

Yes, actually you would, even if only a subconcious level. Until you spend a lot of time around a person, the vast majority of your opinions will be based on how they initialy come across to you. Just because you don't do it conciously, doesn't mean you aren't making judgements at all.

No actually I wouldn't. When it comes to something liek that, when I'm actually interested. I know what you're trying to say but in this case it isn't true (for me at least) that my subconscious would alter sometihng that monumental and when it's that important to me. I know what you mean but, no.. just, no

 

[Nickolai77]

There is no such thing as a subconscious. Not if you believe in real science that is.

Well my definition of a subconscious process are thoughts and actions that occur without any conscious imput. For instance, typing on a keyboard. By that, i mean that i don't have to think consciously about where my fingers are actually touching the keys, because it becomes "second nature"- the task is so simple i do not have to consciously think to do it- rather, that "thought" occurs at a subconsious level.

I know someone who once got freaked out when he found the packet of sweets he had been eating was empty- his conscious mind was so engrossed with what was happening on the computor he was not aware of the subconscious process of eating the sweets beside him.

 

[Disaster Button]

I gained respect for the OP for this topic and lost respect for you. Everyone judges people by their first impression.

I bet you wouldnt get this mad if instead of a overweight goth kid it was a jock. That instead of black clothes he was wearing Gonzaga bball shorts, a Texas football tee shirt and some Nike Jordans. Every single one of you would instantly say dumb jock and wouldnt think twice about.

Dont say its not true cause it is

If I knew who you were I still don't think I'd care. There is a difference between judging somebody and discussing your opinion of said person in front of them while other people are laughing.

We don't get jocks in the UK so I sincerely doubt I would think that. Considering I spend half my free time in a gym I don't think I am in any place to criticise anyone for wearing athletic clothing either.

You proved my point even more. You assume because I have an interest in Goth culture that it's the reason for me feeling defensive. I got defensive because I spent half my time in college telling people like the OP to go fuck themselves for being pricks to other people in my year group.

He is really weird. He sits and hums to himself, dances on the stop and spaztastically, talks about the most obscure things, and laughs for no reason.

Nobody laughs for without a reason, just because you don't know what it is doesn't mean it does not exist. He was probably thinking about chopping all the judgemental pricks up with an axe for laughing at him.

wow, what a judgemental prick that guy was for assuming all those people were being judgemental pricks and not to mention totally over-reacting to them laughing at him! I hate that guy! Let's throw bricks at him!

I didn't say the guy was normal, you can't judge him that way until he fetches the axe.

Oh no I didn't know we had holy beings here. Forgive me great one, let me get my robe.

Everyone judges based on appearance consciously or subconsciously and it isn't bad to think of certain things as weird or else we'd have people running around naked with purple body pant and unshaved armpits. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just lying.

It's called an opinion. Get used to it.

There is no such thing as a subconscious. Not if you believe in real science that is.

I believe that Funksobeefy was trying to say you view "Jocks" as "normal" (possibly cos you are one) and so wouldn't view them as "weird" as someone who wasn't a jock. But that's just what I got from it. It's weird how perception works

But if you actually don't believe in a subconscious and almost insult people believing in it then it's harder to take you seriously when you say things about losing respect for me. Same goes for what you said about Douk, afterall, he was just giving you his opinion.

Although your point about prejudgements being wrong is still obviously correct

 

[OrenjiJusu]

im one of the weird people! i ramble about Cthulhu and have contacts in which make my eyes all cyborgy i often make random gibbering noises i poke and prod people for no reason and i have ginger hair which is longer than most of the girls sat my school! its all very liberating actually

 

[Deleted]

It's called an opinion. Get used to it.

There is no such thing as a subconscious. Not if you believe in real science that is.

In the first part of the sentence you throw a fact at me, then you tell me that its your opinion. I believe thats there are no such things as opinions and you either agree with me or don't.

 

[DuplicateValue]

Ugh. Look by no means. No means at all am I judging him and leaivng it at that. Sure I saw him and thought he's a bit weird looking but I didn't blank him out my life or make fun about him behind his back. The most I've said is sometihng like "He looks a bit weird" which I still stand by.

I did actually talk to him and while I know he's not as weird as he looked, he was a little bit. Nor will I not talk to him again or be rude to him. I'm not like that.

So hate me if you want, it's your call. But I really don't want you to hate me because you think I'm some shallow dick who hates a guy on his looks. Because I don't hate him for it in the slightest nor will I treat him any differently

Err you laughed at him, with your entire class. Do you know how much that didn't help him?
Go and apologies to him for making him feel like crap
No we dislike you because you did judge him and laughed at him and call someone different weird
No you shouldn't treat him any differently, thats the problem we have with you

Ugh, I'm sorry but none of you have any idea what ye're talking about.

Listen, school is a horrible place - kids are mean. They can't help it.
If you want to stand out and be individual, that's your own choice. But you have to be willing to put up with the downsides of being individual: you are more noticeable and that makes you a target.

You can put up with it, or cut the crap and express your individuality outside of school.

Or, if you're lucky, find a group of like-minded people who can make the days bareable, maybe even fun.

Seriously, I know what I'm talking about.

I did the latter, but I wasn't "lucky", just smart enough to know people and actually talk to like-minded people, luck has nothing to do with it, if you're fed up with others taking the piss then you do something about it, it's called affirmative action, not sure what this "luck" is you're on about, I don't get "lucky" I make things happen.

Yes but you can't "make" the people like you, there has to be a certain amount of luck involved. When you approach them you're taking a chance, and you're not sure if they will accept you or not. In a sense it's a bit of a gamble.

 

[DuplicateValue]

Listen, school is a horrible place - kids are mean. They can't help it.
If you want to stand out and be individual, that's your own choice. But you have to be willing to put up with the downsides of being individual: you are more noticeable and that makes you a target.

You can put up with it, or cut the crap and express your individuality outside of school.

Or, if you're lucky, find a group of like-minded people who can make the days bareable, maybe even fun.

Seriously, I know what I'm talking about.

Yes because a 17 has no idea on how shit school can be. Oh wait no
I'm trying to change the mind of someone who I think has a wrong way of dealing with someone who is different people
Someone has to bring them out of their close minsets, it's called growing up
So you are encouraging people to form small close minded groups, yeah sorry if I don't pay much attention to your opinion

Well you should, because from where I'm standing, it makes more sense than yours.
No offence.

You see, these people you want to change? Yeah, they're mostly idiots. They lack the intelligence needed to grow up and stop acting like children.
But they'll have to pay for that when they're faced with the real world and are bitterly FORCED to grow up.

All that you can do is stick with your friends and smile to yourself at the fact you're better off than the ones who mock you will be.

 

[The Rockerfly]

Listen, school is a horrible place - kids are mean. They can't help it.
If you want to stand out and be individual, that's your own choice. But you have to be willing to put up with the downsides of being individual: you are more noticeable and that makes you a target.

You can put up with it, or cut the crap and express your individuality outside of school.

Or, if you're lucky, find a group of like-minded people who can make the days bareable, maybe even fun.

Seriously, I know what I'm talking about.

Yes because a 17 has no idea on how shit school can be. Oh wait no
I'm trying to change the mind of someone who I think has a wrong way of dealing with someone who is different people
Someone has to bring them out of their close minsets, it's called growing up
So you are encouraging people to form small close minded groups, yeah sorry if I don't pay much attention to your opinion

Well you should, because from where I'm standing, it makes more sense than yours.
No offence.

You see, these people you want to change? Yeah, they're mostly idiots. They lack the intelligence needed to grow up and stop acting like children.
But they'll have to pay for that when they're faced with the real world and are bitterly FORCED to grow up.

All that you can do is stick with your friends and smile to yourself at the fact you're better off than the ones who mock you will be.

....You're right...I hate the world

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

I judge people by their actions towards me. Hasn't failed me yet.

Quick question. What if you see someone, at work or at school who is a real ass to some people, but not to you?

Isn't it safe to say that he's an ass?

Fair point. I'd agree that they are an ass but so long as they aren't bothering me I can get along with them, and be reproachful of their assetry.