Ok, you get a girlfriend, now what?

[Bara_no_Hime]

This might be her asking you something you can't answer (for me it's "why are you in a bad mood" and refusing to drop it) or getting annoyed because you actually have something else to do, we all have to experience this in our relationships from time to time because hell, we're dealing with people who aren't exactly like us, only like us enough for us to want to be with them, so inevitably you're going to clash on some things.

My question to you escapists, is how do you manage to bite the bullet and stay calm even when you want to tell them that they're being stupid or a hypocrite or even just plain difficult?

Oh, like you guys are so easy to deal with.

You want to know why she keeps asking why you're in a bad mood? Because she likely feels it as a passive-aggressive attack on her. To her, you're basically saying "I'm upset with you, but I won't tell you why" which is REALLY annoying when you're on the other side of it. Even if you are upset about something completely different (like work or whatever), since you're being moody WITH her, it feels like it's her problem. Or, at the very least, it comes off as a giant sign saying "something's wrong" and she's trying to fix it. Or comfort you. Or at least understand.

So if you're in a bad mood, tell the poor girl why. We ask because we care. And because, guys, when you sit around all moody and gloomy, it is ANNOYING. Very very annoying.

And if you don't know why, then try saying "I just feel shitty, I'm honestly not sure why" - and when she goes "well, what will make you feel better?" you can reply with whatever you want. Who knows, you might even get it.

Note: if your answer is "a blow job" that trick only works twice. Three times max.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

Well, piecing the scenario together with the current girl I like, I could take a litterial shit storm before their is even a hairline-fracture in my integrity.
*Shrugs*

 

[Oro44]

Step 1: Get girlfriend.
Step 2: Panic.
Step 3: Never leave house again.

But seriously, all healthy relationships have their clashes. In fact, that's how you know it's meant to be. If you have a big ol' fight, have it out, and at the end of the day (or week depending on the magnitude of the fight) come to an understanding and still want to be with each other, you know you've found something special.

Holding back emotions and grievances is a trap. It breeds the dreaded passive-aggressive fight that can last for DAYS. You get it out there, there's a lot of crying and yelling, then, if you're mature enough, a healthy dialogue follows where the problem actually gets fixed.

 

[The Pinray]

My girlfriend and I have a very simple rule that has worked for as long as we've been together (Bit over a year now): Never ever go to sleep angry with each other. We can keep it in, yell at each other, insult or curse, but at the end of the day we will squash it even if it means staying up all night talking.

 

[Sleekgiant]

I'd wonder what girl/guy has decided to claim to be my girlfriend/boyfriend. This might come as a shocker but not everyone feels the need to be in a relationship

No, my current love life is fine, why do you ask?

>coveringupmassiverelationshipproblems.avi

 

[babinro]

Can't say I've run into much of this as I have very limited experience with relationships.

If we don't agree on something we simply explain to each other how we feel about the situation and how we'd proceed if we were in total control. Then we either find a compromise if it's something important. Or we may do our own separate thing if it's something trivial.

End the topic before it gets heated or emotional and agree to revisit it when you've both had time to think. Most issues don't require immediate resolution and can be addressed with cool heads rather than at the peak of frustration.

 

[.No.]

Wait, I'm getting a girlfriend? For real?! Yes, I can't imagine what it would be like to have a female companion, but from what little experience I've had, I've found out that I'm probably the needy dependent one. In which case, "keeping a girlfriend" for me would boil down to trying to figure out exactly how much of me she can stand and desperately trying to stay within those boundaries. I've driven more than one person away with my apparent desperation and it's really difficult to hide.

I honestly can't imagine needing "me" time if a girl liked me that much. I really don't understand the concept. Fuck my space and my stupid hobbies. A girl likes ME!!!!!!

Yeah, I have problems.

There's some tips for you around 1:06.
If you pull it off, you will be a fucking legend.

 

[Paragon Fury]

Me? Have a girlfriend? I.....

*Exception 80085
*ERROR: An unknown process has occurred. System has shut down to prevent further damage. Press any key to power cycle the system. If system does not cycle, pound fists on keyboard and scream at computer screen.

 

[Belaam]

Step One: Introspection.

Step Two: Acknowledge the times you are insane and (s)he has to deal with your crap to one extent or another.

Step Three: Now compare the amount of crap each of you deal with:
If a high imbalance, expect a break up unless imbalance addressed.
If not worth the amount of good stuff, expect a break up unless imbalance addressed.
If close to balanced and worth the good stuff, carry on indefinitely.

And done. My current relationship is on its 12th year.

 

[Slayer_2]

Wait, I'm getting a girlfriend? For real?! Yes, I can't imagine what it would be like to have a female companion, but from what little experience I've had, I've found out that I'm probably the needy dependent one. In which case, "keeping a girlfriend" for me would boil down to trying to figure out exactly how much of me she can stand and desperately trying to stay within those boundaries. I've driven more than one person away with my apparent desperation and it's really difficult to hide.

I honestly can't imagine needing "me" time if a girl liked me that much. I really don't understand the concept. Fuck my space and my stupid hobbies. A girl likes ME!!!!!!

Yeah, I have problems.

There's some tips for you around 1:06.
If you pull it off, you will be a fucking legend.

I'm gonna have to try that sometime.

OT: I've had a GF, but it never ended well, she has to work around my life, I'm not going to drop people/activities for her, so I'm forever alone, essentially.

 

[mattttherman3]

Well, don't tell her you care about her after a month, apparently gets interpreted as "I love you" and then she breaks up with you. Weird times.

 

[Biodeamon]

scratch that off my "list". next comes going unconsious and sex.

 

[Azure-Supernova]

My question to you escapists, is how do you manage to bite the bullet and stay calm even when you want to tell them that they're being stupid or a hypocrite or even just plain difficult?

I don't think there really is one answer to this. My girlfriend is rather volatile, so I handle her like I would Nitroglycerin: with extreme caution. I often try and approach the situation as calmly as possible and try and keep the discussion at low levels without trying to insult her or make the situation worse.

If I don't do this every now and then it builds up and I explode, which is a lot messier and harder to clean up. At the end of the day she's got more redeeming qualities, so the occasional hissy fit and periods of difficulty aren't a problem to deal with.

 

[Suicidejim]

Beating the crap out of her usually does the trick. But I'm under the impression that it's frowned upon in most relationships, so I'd recommend trying to improve your communication and trying to find the reasons behind certain things each of you do to annoy the other, and maybe just make the other person aware of them. Try to be patient with each other, and if things still don't seem to be working, perhaps you should take a good long look at whether you would be able to spend a year, two years, five, ten, fifty, etc. with this person you are now with.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

This might be her asking you something you can't answer

Like "what are you thinking?" because as Ed Byrne once said: "Piss off with that question!"

OT: How exactly i go about it is something i've never really thought about... kinda sorts itself out most of the time, but i guess if i had to point at something specific i guess i'd go with just saying it. Me and my girlfriend agree on most things, but when we don't we don't keep our opinions a secret. She has been mad at me a few times and i've been... exhausted, with her too, but i suppose the ability to move past the differences is what really makes or breaks a relationship.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Because it's worth it?

The same reason you have a dog, even though you have to clean up it's shit.

Because it's worth it.

And that is the best explanation of relationships I've ever seen on this site. Very good job, Daystar.