On Attraction

[mechashiva77]

I am a black woman and I am not attracted to black men, at all. Yet somehow this makes me a bad person. I don't hate black men. I don't intentionally avoid them. I just don't want to have sex with them or have one as a boyfriend. Despite me not being interested, I will be frequently told that I am racist or not open minded for not physically wanting a black man.

So tell me Escapist. Have you ever been scolded for not being attracted to people of your own ethnicity? Do you think that it's racist if someone is not? Or do you not care at all?

I am no way at all trying to make this thread about racism or stereotypes or anything, just sexuality and stigma.

 

[Hisshiss]

Sort of, I appear completely white, but half my family is actually pure blood hispanic, and when I was in high school I hung out with mostly white "nerd" types, its just where I fell in, and as such didnt have any female hispanic friends or love interests, which I did get chided for.

Back then atleast, my blood kicked in my senior year and I grew a taste for all colors of the ethnic spectrum.

 

[KaWaiiTSuKI]

I don't think it can be counted as racism if it's against your own race.
Just sayin' >.>
Anyway, no nothing like that for me. I'm white and am sexually attracted to (though never had sex with) white people along with really every other race. It doesn't matter to me really
And that thing has never happened to me as far as I'm aware.

 

[emeraldrafael]

im not going to lie, after dating a black girl, its a leading turn on for me. But the fact that m whiteish, and that because there arent a lot of black girls or at least alot of interacial dating where I'm from (not cause we're all racist, just, thers not a lot of it) mkaes people think its kinda weird.

... Not that I would tell a girl of any other race/colour I wouldnt date her, but if shes black, its a bit of a plus.

I think more the way people see it is the way you say it so bluntly. Then again, im not sure how you rationalize it without sounding racist. I mean, its not, it juts sounds thats way, cause of the preconceived notions that (people fromt eh us at least), hold on race.

 

[mechashiva77]

Sort of, I appear completely white, but half my family is actually pure blood hispanic, and when I was in high school I hung out with mostly white "nerd" types, its just where I fell in, and as such didnt have any female hispanic friends or love interests, which I did get chided for.

Back then atleast, my blood kicked in my senior year and I grew a taste for all colors of the ethnic spectrum.

I think that's my issue as well. I don't have a lot of nerd friends who are black and I'm attracted to. And though I can't say for sure, I don't think my sexuality will change anytime soon that I'll be attracted to everyone.

 

[Cain_Zeros]

Can't say I have. Then again, I'm a white guy who tends to find himself attracted to white girls (although not exclusively). I think people giving you shit for not being attracted to members of your race is weird. Genetic diversity is good. Someone of another race is as different as you can get (at least as far as sticking with humans goes, and sticking with humans is definitely recommended).

 

[Faladorian]

I am a black woman and I am not attracted to black men, at all. Yet somehow this makes me a bad person. I don't hate black men. I don't intentionally avoid them. I just don't want to have sex with them or have one as a boyfriend. Despite me not being interested, I will be frequently told that I am racist or not open minded for not physically wanting a black man.

So tell me Escapist. Have you ever been scolded for not being attracted to people of your own ethnicity? Do you think that it's racist if someone is not? Or do you not care at all?

I am no way at all trying to make this thread about racism or stereotypes or anything, just sexuality and stigma.

I'm the same exact way with black women, and actually a lot of ethnicities. I just find caucasian girls to be extremely attractive to a degree unmatched by any other race.

I am also often called a racist, which isn't true.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

Honestly, I have somewhat the reverse of your problem

I'm a white male, but I'm not at all attracted to black women. I dunno why, I'm just not.

I go for the blonde haired, blue eyed gals, which is more errie, considering I'm an Austro-German.

 

[mechashiva77]

I think more the way people see it is the way you say it so bluntly. Then again, im not sure how you rationalize it without sounding racist. I mean, its not, it juts sounds thats way, cause of the preconceived notions that (people fromt eh us at least), hold on race.

Well I guess the way I would rationalize it is that I don't "feel" any attraction. Whenever I see most black men I don't think "oh he's hot I'd like to sleep with him",they're just kind of there.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour creme so I never really deal with this. Sounds stupid that there's that expectation of you.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

I thought the difference in skin tone was merely something nature came up with so people would have an easier time in different climates... So i don't see what it has to do with sexual preferance.

We're all just people, human beings, and saying that you should be interested in people of a certain etnicity is to me the same as saying you should only date people with green eyes, or people with red hair.

It's just a preferance, not something you're locked on to and anyone who says otherwise should be slapped in the face with a wet sock >_>

 

[Kae]

Sort of, I appear completely white, but half my family is actually pure blood hispanic, and when I was in high school I hung out with mostly white "nerd" types, its just where I fell in, and as such didnt have any female hispanic friends or love interests, which I did get chided for.

Back then atleast, my blood kicked in my senior year and I grew a taste for all colors of the ethnic spectrum.

You know hispanics are some of the more ethnically ambiguous people that are on earth given the combination of bloods they have, what I mean is that before coming to America both Spain and Portugal were already an amalgamation of Arab people and Europeans, then combine it with the blood of the Americans (Aztecs, Mayans, Incas, Olmecs, etc.) and then add the slaves that they brought from Africa and we are a combination of almost every single race that exists, I just thought it was sort of interesting. So for the most part most people you see are probably part of you're race too. Also I want to add that at the end of World War II a lot of Germans and Japanese came to Latin America seeking refuge, so some people here are combined with that too.
Now I think I went on for too long and I'm not even sure what the hell was my point with all that but I'm clicking post anyway.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I think more the way people see it is the way you say it so bluntly. Then again, im not sure how you rationalize it without sounding racist. I mean, its not, it juts sounds thats way, cause of the preconceived notions that (people fromt eh us at least), hold on race.

Well I guess the way I would rationalize it is that I don't "feel" any attraction. Whenever I see most black men I don't think "oh he's hot I'd like to sleep with him",they're just kind of there.

Then I would just say that I mean unless people have heard you say that you like (insert race/colour here) over blacks, then its not really racist. Im the same way with french girls, where they just exist to me.

...

not that its bad to be frnech, and not that that can be sexy of course.

 

[chaosyoshimage]

I like paler skin, I don't think that makes me racist, but whatever...

 

[Trithemius]

If your not attracted to someone, you just aren't. The next time someone calls you racist because of your failing attraction towards black man, ask them if they think that Homosexuals are sexist. (Of course, in a homophobic environment, that could backfire.)

 

[mechashiva77]

I think more the way people see it is the way you say it so bluntly. Then again, im not sure how you rationalize it without sounding racist. I mean, its not, it juts sounds thats way, cause of the preconceived notions that (people fromt eh us at least), hold on race.

Well I guess the way I would rationalize it is that I don't "feel" any attraction. Whenever I see most black men I don't think "oh he's hot I'd like to sleep with him",they're just kind of there.

Then I would just say that I mean unless people have heard you say that you like (insert race/colour here) over blacks, then its not really racist. Im the same way with french girls, where they just exist to me.

...

not that its bad to be frnech, and not that that can be sexy of course.

I'll be honest, I never got the whole "French are Sex Gods" thing. It's probably just me though.

...I won't lie though. Replace "French" with "Russian", and I'd be all over him. (Provided he is physically attractive of course)

 

[emeraldrafael]

Snip

I dont know my self. I mean, I did like a french girl once, and the woman who played dren in splice definitely caught my eye.

actually, for a long time, I've had a crush on the NCIS character Abby, and the woman who plays her. If i met a black version of Abby on the street, heaven nor hell nor all the natural forces themselves could keep me from her. id break the speed of light if it meant getting to her quicker.

....

well, thats nice to get off my chest to complete and total strangers I suppose. now for the shame and humliation.

 

[SonicKaos]

I'm white, and I find myself attracted to every other type more so than white woman. Not that there is anything wrong with white woman at all (in fact, I've so far ONLY dated them), but I find other ethnicities to be so much more attractive for whatever reason.

I get what you're saying OP, though I suppose to a lesser extent. I still find white woman attractive, but given the choice I would go with just about any other ethnicity first.