Open letter to women about phone numbers

[Haydyn]

Something similar happened to me. Out with a large groups of friends, hit it off with a girl and jokingly ask her to the movies. She says yes, much to my surprise/enjoyment. I'm assuming it's a fake number cuz she never responded, but to be fair I only sent her one text (excuses.)

 

[Brawndo]

snip

Look, I'm flattered you took the time to do a pop-psychology assessment of me, considering we just met and you know nothing about me, but I have to be 100% honest and upfront and say I'm really not interested in continuing this conversation, sorry. But I sincerely wish you the best luck with other guys, maybe some of them will find your smugness attractive!

 

[similar.squirrel]

Women can't have balls.

I've always done my seducing by IM, so I can't really relate. But I would imagine it's highly annoying. It's probably the reason I see clubs as a places for initiating one-night stands.

 

[Tulks]

Can you really blame somebody for wanting to deflect awkward social tension on a fun night out? I mean, yes, you're being led on, but simply put, most guys don't handle rejections well. Would YOU rather spend the next forty-five minutes trying to avoid some guy (or girl) because they didn't take the hint? I know a lot of people who won't even take a flat-out no for an answer. Maybe you need to alter your get-to-first-date strategy....

Despite what you may think from my post, I know how to handle rejection to my face. I would not follow the girl around afterward.

This doesn't mean that everyone has your... restraint. If a girl (or guy, for that matter) is approached frequently by asshats who can't meet refusal with grace and acceptance then it makes sense for her (/him) to automatically adopt a more passive push-off.

On the bright side, you say you only lose 80-90% of your 'catch' through this - that's still 10-20%. Just think of it as Sturgeon's Revelation as applied to pick-up attempts.

A woman's taste in men changes every two weeks. Or if they're on the pill and then they're not.

Scientific fact. Cracked.com told me so.

TL;DR, but true - hormonal cycles certainly influence the type of man that women are attracted to (and vice versa - we aren't exactly immune to mood swings, guys), such as affecting whether they want a long-term partner (and the early-morning nappy-changing that goes along with it) or a short-term roll in the hay/bushes/bins-in-the-supermarket-car-park.

 

[Rotting Corpse]

First of all, DTB fellow 101 students.

Giving it to "be nice" or because "you didn't want to hurt his feelings" are ultimately not legitimate reasons either, because it hurts my feelings more if you feign interest than if you are upfront about your lack of interest.

Simply put, if we guys have the balls the approach you, initiate conversation, and ask for your phone number, you all can have the balls to be honest and say "no" if you're not interested in talking to us again.

In my experience, when I'm told up front "no" for any reason or even no reason at all, it doesn't hurt at all. You're not going to hurt some guys feeling by just straight up saying "I'm not interested" We understand and most of us will just say "Oh well, it was fun chatting." But leading us to believe that you actually wanted us to call you when you didn't is just cruel. I'm sure that their are some girls out there that did want us to call, but changed their mind later or any other legitimate excuse, but that doesn't excuse the majority.

And to anyone who ever says to a guy, "Someone must have hurt you really bad." Guess what, every man in this world has had his heart carved out at one point or another.

 

[Brawndo]

Look, [defensive reaction]!

I get it, bro. But don't post weirdly defensive trolling screeds about sexual harassment and how women are obligated to answer your phone calls if you want to come off as a Flawless Masculine Hero. It ain't working for you. Bros don't let bros post stupid.

Your sarcasm is noted.

That sexual harassment thread was meant to be satire and point out double standards in a roundabout, subtle way. Either I did a shitty job or a really good one, because only about a dozen or so other posters recognized it for what it was.

And yes, there are cases where women make false harassment claims. I hope you realize that merely being accused of sexual harassment can be a death sentence to a man's career, even if the claim later turns out to be false. That should not trivialize real claims, but at the same time, people need to be aware of that and take other non-life destroying avenues to addressing the problem when possible.

 

[7amurai]

Most women who give out fake #s do it because a lot of guys don't take an easy no as an answer.

If you want to make it simple just give them your number if they're interested they'll call back even if they want to play hard to get.

I guarantee you 100% I am not receiving fake numbers, because I know how to avoid it. I call the number right then and there on the spot and I hear the girl's phone ring or vibrate. If not, which has happened a few times, I call the girl out on it and then walk away.

Maybe that's what you're doing wrong. Doesn't seem very suave to check the number is real right there. All they will think when you ring them the next day is "This is the dude who double checked."
Another thing to consider is you're being very forward. People are happy to flirt but they are unlikely to give out their number to a guy they just met.

You could always disguise it as calling them so you have their number in the recently called list without going through the whole deal of creating a contact. I do that all the time (calling people to save their number into my phone quickly, not double checking girls numbers)

 

[RA92]

My open letter to women about phone numbers.

Someone please buy my niece's girl scout cookies. They are delicious.

He he! ^_^

http://theedmontonian.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Healthcare-Cookies.jpg

OP, dude, don't expect people who just met you to divulge personal info. It's against common sense.

 

[Rellik San]

I've had it a few times... then again I've also had girls pretty much grab my phone from my pocket and insert their numbers. (heh insert).

That doesn't bother me, from the outset you aren't gonna know that I'm a pretty laid back guy. Usually if I'm told "no." I'll respond with a smile say something like; "Whelp... I feel foolish now, enjoy your evening sorry for bothering you." and leave them too it. But as I said your average guy is pretty much a douchetard, throw alcohol into the mix too and its gets complicated, on more then a few occasions I've had too "rescue" (I loathe to use that term) my friends, both female and male from obsessive types by walking up, placing my arm around them and planting a kiss on their cheek.

What does irk me, is when everything seems too be going well, we both mutually agree to meet up somewhere. Just for a coffee and a chat, not even a proper date, half the time they've initiated it and before we can finalise it, they stop calling/texting/e-mailing whatever the line of communication is on... thats the one that irks me, a fake number I'd be fine with, I'd just think 'more the fool me for not seeing the signs'... but too genuinely lead me on, not so much from a dating aspect, but even just in the sense that I have potentially lost a friend if we didn't date is plain wrong.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

Believe it or not, it's probably your approach more than anything that makes them not want to respond to your calls, it's all about being cocky and upbeat, if you aren't either of those you have almost no chance at getting favourable results... Hell even though I have ABSOLUTELY NO SUCCESS in the dating world overall at least I have no problem GETTING dates from the girls I bother to approach/get a number from, it just usually goes downhill from there when they realize I'm not exactly... financially well endowed, I mean I have my own place, and I hold down income enough to survive, but I'm not exactly an up and coming CEO or anything... hell I'm a janitor and a gas station attendant, not exactly top notch jobs to tell people you do when the "So... what do you do for a living?" question comes up, which is more the "How fast can I max out your credit card(s) and leave you broke?" question, or the "How long could you support me, and my (insert habbit here, be it drugs or other) without me lifting a finger to help with the bills?" question, or other examples along the same lines... I'm eventually going to be a chef, which isn't too bad, but I'm not exactly up to support a family off my income while taking courses and working 2 damn jobs thanks.

Yeah, maybe just the area I live in, but all the women I can find are all either bar stars, crack heads, or gold diggers... and since the bar star demographic are disloyal to the core and or are also gold diggers, and since I don't do or deal drugs, I'm kinda, in the small demographic of guys nobody really wants... meh...

 

[Evidencebased]

However, if she is giving a fake number I WILL call her out on what she did, and then leave. I'm not going to follow her around and stalk her to piss her off, because I'm not a vindictive creep.

Um, "call[ing] her out" sounds kind of vindictive, dude. You shouldn't make a scene, just recognize it as a brushoff and leave politely. I second whoever said that sounds like a red flag.

As for guys who can't take "no" for an answer, I'm not shy and I've told a guy "nope, not giving you my number" but then he kept pestering me and tried to sneak it -- he told me "oh, that's ok" and then gave me his and tried to insist I call him (uh huh, I'm not stupid! ) -- until I finally ended up giving him a fake email address just to get him to stop asking.

 

[Rotting Corpse]

leading us to believe that you actually wanted us to call you when you didn't is just cruel.

Again. No. If she was attracted to you in the moment but not in retrospect, that is LIFE, it is not some extaordinary evil act of cruelty. If you want to pretend otherwise, then what you should do is FUCK. OFF. Seriously.

How about instead of emotionally swearing at me through terrible grammar you instead read everything I wrote, because the sentence immediately following that one addressed that very point. Seriously.

I'm sure that their are some girls out there that did want us to call, but changed their mind later or any other legitimate excuse, but that doesn't excuse the majority.

 

[Paksenarrion]

My open letter to women about phone numbers.

Someone please buy my niece's girl scout cookies. They are delicious.

He he! ^_^

http://theedmontonian.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Healthcare-Cookies.jpg

OP, dude, don't expect people who just met you to divulge personal info. It's against common sense.

Mmmmmmmm.....delicious internet cookies....made with real internets! ^_^

 

[thecoreyhlltt]

i think most women view this the same way they do about kicking a guy in the balls. they just don't understand how much it really hurts.

No. Speaking as a fellow testicular: man the F up. Of the billions of men on this earth, 80% of them have given women a solid reason to be wary. Don't play it off like it's some horrible assault that's been committed against you. Just move on.

back off asswipe, i was only using getting kicked in the balls as a simile.
i'm not saying there aren't men out there who would take some sort of social rejection and go insane and do something harmful towards that woman. I'm just saying that to the 20% of guys who don't give women reason to be wary, it's hurtful.