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pigmonkey

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Dec 24, 2008
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i paintball'd for one summer, i arouse to the rank of captin in the Mil-sim legue me and my friends joined and won mvp which caused much gloating on my part. my paintball gun is now stored in my closet along with my pokemon card, skateboard, snowboard and all the other fads i was into.

i do have a really good paintball story though, i was playing a game with medics (2 guys on your team could tag you when you were hit to revive you), me and my friends were all downed beside each other and the guys who shot us walked over to ask us if we were the last of our team (we were in the woods so its hard to tell when everyones down) when there team's medic came running in and taged all of us. for a moment we all looked at each other confused, i was about to ask if we were back alive when my friend screamed "BOOKER-G IT!!" and ran. I got about halfway through saying "what!?!?!" when the 4 guys standing around us opened up on me at point blank range. i took about 30 paint balls and was bleeding in 3 places, but at least they said they were sorry and one guy gave me a beer.
 

DigitalSushi

a gallardo? fine, I'll take it.
Dec 24, 2008
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Soigieoto said:
What are the rules of paintball?

I've never really found out.
never ever take your goggles off
no point blank shooting (although that still happens, executions upon capturing their team captain when he runs out of ammo is much lulz)
no shooting the crotch

I once got shot in my butt at point blank range, I couldn't sit down for a week and my mother thought she wouldn't get grandkids.

this is what happens if you take your goggles off > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXeMontXSTI
 

mackem

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Aug 19, 2008
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Until very recently I did play a lot of tourney paintball over here in the UK in a league called the NSPL and played a few rounds in the Millenium league last season.
Unfortunately I have had to stop for the moment due to a lack of funds and lack of time due to because of my education.

I was a front man, generally playing snake because while I am far too tall for the position I am very very quick and so can generally get there off the break without getting shot out.
My best moment in paintball would be one of two:
First is not really a moment, more a season. Last year I played for 2 teams, one in the NSPL and one in the Milleniums. The NSPL team was new, only formed for last season, and we started off playing in division 2 against teams that had been around for 5 years plus. We were expected to come last in the divison however we managed to finish second despite having less experience than all the other teams by a country mile.
The other moment is again from last season, playing in the Milleniums, we ended up somehow being drawn against Joy Division in one match (they are one of the best teams in the world), and surprisingly we managed to last for most of the match despite being amateurs compared to them. My best moment in that match however was managing to shoot out Max Lundqvist and Magued Idris who were 2 of their best players at the time.
 

Reokue

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Dec 19, 2008
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ColdStorage said:
this is what happens if you take your goggles off > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXeMontXSTI
That is just funny, bad funny but funny.
 

implodingMan

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Apr 9, 2008
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I generally go paintballing 3 times a summer. Its an expensive hobby, so any more would be financially bad for me.

Generally I really enjoy it, but there are a few problems. People are too afraid of being hit, and never move from cover to cover, preferring to simply camp at the starting point. There is also always some old guy trying to direct tactics (basically yelling at you to advance while he waits at the back). This guy also has the best equipment.

As for myself, I am a terrible shot at medium to long distances, so I group up with some other people and play as shock troops. Rapid advances, lots of sprinting, and an awesome adrenaline rush. All that track and field training comes in handy.
 

Anton P. Nym

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Sep 18, 2007
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I played paintball a few times one year, not enough to justify my own kit. I enjoyed it though it was literally a pain sometimes (especially the winterball session I played... not just from the semi-frozen paintballs, but also the damned thorn bushes that didn't have leaves...) but had to give it up when I lost my job the following year.

I think my favourite moment was holding off a 4-man enemy squad all alone, by faking them out with a loaner gun that wouldn't feed pellets half the time. No "kills", which was frustrating as hell, but I held them off a hill for a good two-three minutes with the sound of my dry shots coming from odd directions as I moved around. They kept casting around trying to find a flank... too nervous to risk running into a fire sack. By the time they figured out it was just me and that they could indeed rush the hill, the rest of my team (including my buddy, who'd been hit and was marking time with the umpires) came up behind me... I ran back down, shouting that the enemy was behind me, and they picked 'em off as they crested the hill.

I wish I'd had a camera.

(My least favourite moment was picking thorns out of my scalp for a week after that winterball session. Ecch.)

-- Steve
 

Howlingwolf214

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Dec 28, 2008
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Mine would be last Friday. Ran and took cover behind a tree shooting at someone to my right. Suddenly, my gun runs out of ammo. Oh dear.

Then someone lobs a paint grenade. I run and dive behind cover.

It was tremendous fun, paintballing is awesome.
 

Sion_Barzahd

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Jul 2, 2008
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How much does an average game of paintball cost? I've never been and always been curious, so i might get some friends together.
 

LoopyDood

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Dec 13, 2008
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I play paintball regularly. I have a VSC Phantom, which is a stock class marker. That means it is a pump, has a 10-15 round feedtube instead of a hopper, and runs on 12 gram disposable CO2 tanks instead of a larger refillable tank. During the winter however I play modified stock class with a 3.5oz tank. It's a lot of fun, is much cheaper to play with, and with the fields around here full of renters it provides a much needed challenge. I only use around 200 paintballs a day; There is an excellent field near me that charges $15 for entry with 200 free paintballs.

I usually play woodsball, but I enjoy playing speedball more. The problem is the closest speedball field to me is an hour's drive away.

I think the pain of it is important. Without it, you may as well be playing laser tag. It acts as a deterrent to keep you from doing clearly stupid things, and when you get shot you get a huge burst of adrenaline. It doesn't even hurt to get shot after the first game.

Funniest story? Last summer, my brother's cocky friend was having a paintball birthday party, and he had just been paintballing the day before. Naturally, he acted as if he was better than everybody else. There was me, him, 4 of his friends and my brother. Not to sound cocky, but me and my brother were dominating the whole day so we started doing 2v5. One of the games, we were playing on a field that had a tower on a hill surrounded by lots of bunkers. The entire base is surrounded by woods. One team starts next to the tower, and the other starts in the woods.

If you've ever played in a tower, you'd understand how bad of a spot it is. Two of them went into the bunkers around the tower, and the other three including the birthday boy crammed into the top of the tiny tower. The game starts, I sprint unnoticed for a good position close to the tower with lots of tree cover from it, and my brother runs to the closest bunker of the base. Every single player starts shooting at my brother who is able to keep their heads down. I crawl quietly toward the tower, eventually getting underneath it.

The two players in the bunkers get eliminated by my brother, who is now pinned down by the three players in the tower. I stand up looking to see if the cracks in the tower's floor are large enough to shoot through, and prepare to walk up the stairs for an easy group surrender. The fattest player on their team notices me pointing up at him through a crack, and his eyes widened tremendously. He started to panic, then hilariously yelled "THEY'RE BELOW US, THEY'RE BELOW US!!! I SURRENDER!" while dancing around trying to avoid being shot, followed by the other two looking down, yelling "AH!" and then surrendering.

I still bug birthday boy to this day.

letsnoobtehpwns said:
I'm into airsofting but I airsoft at S.C. Village with is more of a paintball park.
Lucky bastard. That's one of the most famous paintball fields in the US.

Sion_Barzahd said:
How much does an average game of paintball cost? I've never been and always been curious, so i might get some friends together.
It depends. Find a local field with good reviews here, [http://www.pbreview.com/] find out how much paint and entry costs. Most first timers use 500-1000 paintballs each (1-2 bags) so plan around that, and bring about $10 each for food. Try to buy paint a case at a time (2000 paintballs, 4 bags) because it's usually cheaper that way.
 

MoganFreeman

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Jan 28, 2009
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Reokue said:
Mine would have to be in a 3-man local tourney. I'm in back-left and both my teammates get shot out. I shoot down the left hand tape and take their back left out. Quickly bump up to the left 30 dorrito. Peak out right side and take out the back right. Bump up to center dorrito, peak out the left side and take out the back center. Greatest moment in my life.
That sounds really cool, but could you what happened in a way that someone who doesn't know paintball jargon could understand?
 

Doc Theta Sigma

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Jan 5, 2009
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Danzorz said:
Is pistol-whipping allowed?
Is gun-butting allowed?
While not explicitly prohibited, it's considered unsporting. I've only ever been paintballing a couple of times, but I've gotten some pretty good 'kills' in. I was leaning against a door for cover, peeked around the side and saw somebody crawling on their stomach towards me on the other side, so I shot him a couple of times for good measure. The funniest one I've ever seen was three of the older members of a team throwing down some smoke grenades, then charging the other team using the smoke as cover.
 

Limasol

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Feb 8, 2008
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Heya, i play on the Birmingham University Team, here in the UK its a struggling sport but i love it loads. Hit me up if you wanna talk more.
 

Reokue

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Dec 19, 2008
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MoganFreeman said:
Reokue said:
Mine would have to be in a 3-man local tourney. I'm in back-left and both my teammates get shot out. I shoot down the left hand tape and take their back left out. Quickly bump up to the left 30 dorrito. Peak out right side and take out their back right. Bump up to center dorrito, peak out the left side and take out the back center. Greatest moment in my life.
That sounds really cool, but could you what happened in a way that someone who doesn't know paintball jargon could understand?
Sure.

Example Field:

-So a speed ball field is a long rectangle with starting positions on both sides at the long ends and bunkers or obstacles interspersed throughout the field.
-The field is mirrored at the halway point.
-The back left position is the bunker that is farthest left and nearest your end of the field.
-The left hand tape is the line of sight from your back left bunker to your opponents back left bunker.
-Bumping is moving foward.
-The left 30 dorrito is a triangle shaped bunker that is further up the field but still on the left hand side of the field.
-Their back right is the bunker farthest away from where you started on the right hand side of the field.
-Center dorrito is the dorrito bunker at the center line of the field.
-Back center is the bunker farthest from where you started but in the center of the back line of bunkers.

Hope that helps a little bit. It's kind of hard to explain a speedball field if you haven't seen one so I included that picture of an example field.

Doc Theta Sigma said:
The funniest one I've ever seen was three of the older members of a team throwing down some smoke grenades, then charging the other team using the smoke as cover.
The funniest story that I have involving smoke grenades is this guy was playing at this outdoor field and this smoke grenade gets thrown right by him so he gets down on his knees and crawls up to the grenade and tosses it foward. He then shoots the people he can see and then tosses the grenade foward again. He shoots the people he can see and then tosses it one more time and then as soon as he gets up to the grenade it fades and he gets shot so many times.

EDIT: Long ADD post is loooong.
 

MRMIdAS2k

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Apr 23, 2008
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My story involves what has been christened "the hell game"

large field, barrel in the middle, to score a point, sit on the barrel for 10 seconds, you can only be eliminated if you're shot in the front, first to 3 wins.

WORLD

OF

PAIN!
 

LoopyDood

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Dec 13, 2008
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About a month ago I attended an Xball clinic hosted by Bart Blonski from Russian Legion. He's a very cool guy, he even let me borrow his cleats for the slippery turf.

Anyways, with my Phantom I was the only person there who didn't need batteries out of 30 people. The limit was 15bps as well. Bart was fascinated with my Phantom. He used to use one back in the nineties when pump was the norm.

With this being one of my first Xball experiences with experienced players I surprised myself when I was able to make it to the snake consistently off the break as well as successfully diving for the first time in my life - right under their lanes. I also got the best chrono results I've ever had that day - 237, 236, 235, 237, 236. (The limit was 250) That's with unregulated CO2, too. Ahmazin.

It was a bit embarrassing doing the laning exercises with a stock class pump, but in the breaking and snapshooting drills I excelled.

The clinic was 6h long, cost $100 and came with a free case (2000) of paint. Excellent deal

Danzorz said:
Is pistol-whipping allowed?
Is gun-butting allowed?
Any activity that can injure or otherwise put a player in harm's way is prohibited. Bludgeoning someone with your marker is not only stupid, unsafe and pointless, but by definition disallowed. Why on earth would you want to do that any way? If you're just trying to fulfill your video game fantasies you shouldn't be playing paintball. Besides, unless you get the drop on them I seriously doubt you'd be able to get close enough to another player to perform such an act...
 

DigitalSushi

a gallardo? fine, I'll take it.
Dec 24, 2008
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I remember heckling the paintball tutor cos he was from Alabama, playing President, where the way to win the match was to capture the teams un armed president, so I was asking him if the president was apppointed democratically or the Alabama way, where the winner of NASCAR gets to be president. So he made me president, and I got my shit fucked up.

in the next round my friend twisted his ankle, so I got his gun, duel wielding harper paintball guns oh yeah. RAMBO.
 

chumpzilla_69

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Jul 19, 2008
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These storys are fantastic!

I have a few now......

My first ever experience of paintballing was possibly the most badass feeling ever, our team had to take a "fort", so me and my mate ran up around the side of the fort, and picked people off from the side. Suddenly, we ran out of ammo (we'd forgot to get more rounds in the break), so my mate, in an inspired moment of bad-assery, jumped down the slope and screamed SURRENDER!. We won the entire match single handedly.

My favorite was going on a Kamikaze run through the middle of the forrest, I scored EVERY point for our team that day untill i ran into a compound or "kill house" and got a bright pink stripe painted up from my crotch to the top of my vizor. From point blank range. Little did I know the guy's gun was on RAPID FIRE. The Marshalls didnt appreciate my war cry as I ran into the base.

Lastly
A slightly older, possibly insane guy who was in my team gave us all smoke grenades and told us to do EXACTLY AS HE DID, the crazy old dude then strikes his grenade and puts it in the front of his AMMO BELT thingy and charged down the middle of the forrest. Acording to the marchalls all you could see were 15 coloured clouds screaming down the center with paintballs flying out of them. We were awarded 100 style points :)


I tend to get a lot of style points :p
 

Reokue

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Dec 19, 2008
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LoopyDood said:
I also got the best chrono results I've ever had that day - 237, 236, 235, 237, 236. (The limit was 250) That's with unregulated CO2, too. Ahmazin.
You know when that happens you're gonna have a good day.