Parents get a lesson on lingo

[Orange_Clockwork]

"Moo" means bored? Who the hell would want to turn the sound of a cow into something with meaning? Why not use a duck? Quack could mean bored...

And Skag means ugly woman? I'll never look at Borderlands the same way again...

You know what, I'm going to make my own list of what those words actually mean, since only a few of them are actual slang used by actual people.

Here is just the first column, to give them an idea of how much they got wrong. I'll do the rest if asked.

Spoiler: New, revised list, 1st column

Chedder = Cheese
Cheezing = To run away, i.e. "Cheezing it." See Bender on Futurama for reference
Chili = Food
Chillax = Another way of saying "chill" and "relax." Same meaning as "relax"
Chomper = Nickname to someone who bites his/her enemies. Or a good name for a crocodile.
Coolth = Old English way of saying "cool." i.e. "Thou art coolth." Or something.
Coupledom = Not used by teenagers, probably because no one has heard of it until now.
Crunk = Smoking Weed to get high, then drinking to get drund. "Chronic Drunk." Unless "Lord Krunk" of these forums has a better definition...
Cyberloafing = Acting lazy on the internet, like "Cybering" is having sex on the internet.
Dang = Another way of saying "Damn." Can be used in all instances of "Damn." Same meaning as "Damn."
Defriend = To remove someone from facebook/Xbox Live/PSN/Steam/any online space.
Dip out = To leave somewhere. Don't need "out." "Dip" on its own would suffice.
Dis = To disrespect someone. Obvious meaning. Pretty sure it was around during parent's generation.
Dogger = Refered to someone who keeps dogs. Not slang for police. Correct slang for police is "popo." Or "The Force" if you watched Mallrats
Durri = Not used by teenagers, since it is most likely first used for this paper. Sounds Australian for some reason.
E-class = Really horrable class. "A-class" is the best, "E-class" is one of the worst. i.e. He has "A-class" living, where she has "E-class" living.
Fap = Origionally was flap, just misspeled.
Fetch = To go get. Or could be a game played with a dog.
Flamed = Used on the internet to describe someone who just got insulted by fanboys/fangirls.
Foo = Used by Mr. T to describe a fool. Never used in a serious way.

Quick! We should all speak Nadsat.

I agree with this droog, sadly teens these days won't be able to comprehend the greatness that is Nadsat.

Sadly, but maybe one day we can pull it to full potential.

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

Wow. 95% of those words are wrong. Fail.

 

[ElephantGuts]

That article is hilarious, and also infuriating. It seeps both stupidity and condescension.

And is it just me or were about 70% of those things made up, and 20% wrong? Though I suppose some of the 70% I take as being made up could also be wrong, as the point is I've never heard of them.

...Wait are we sure this article isn't a joke? I really hope it is.

 

[Siuss]

Anyone else think we could use this adult stupidity to our advantage?

Lake getting silly old people to use fap all the time?

Yes!

 

[AthlonX2]

Adults are so "Crunk" these days, I chuckled at "Fap" and "hack"

 

[666thHeretic]

Let's all fap until we're grunk, and then we'll jack that fetch e-class until it's a hooptie.

According to this article, that sentence wasn't just a lot of gibberish.

According to my knowledge of internet slang, that sentence translates as "let's all jerk off until we're [a type of dancing performed by rap fans], and then we'll carjack that [bring it here] [no meaning] until it's a type of knot."

 

[GHMonkey]

Last I knew, a 'piece' was still a gun.

And who the hell says fo shiz? I thought that was just used to make fun of rappers?

last i knew a piece was was a smoking apparatus.

 

[nono195]

its like a clockwork orange... except stupid

 

[cheese_wizington]

Maybe those are American or something because half of those don't means whats there saying they mean down here in Aussieland

Sorry, nope.

I assumed they belonged to you lot - it sure as hell doesn't look like anything kids here say.

That was pretty much my reaction.

 

[Aur0ra145]

I'm a pilot and work at a flight school.

My mother and father have a horrible time trying to get the slang and acronyms. I almost feel sorry for them; almost.

My mother still thinks that "throwing G's" means taking a nice sight-seeing flight; rather than what it actually is, negative G's (they make your head feel like it will explode).

We'll I'll set her straight this weekend, I'm slotted for some aerobatics with her. I wonder if she'll like flying upside down?

 

[Grayjack]

I thought fap meant playing with yourself. Well, 85% of these are wrong.

 

[Emphraim]

I cringed at this list. The only ones I have ever heard anyone my age use is fap, jacked, pwnage, and flamed. The article gets the meanings of fap and jacked wrong too(and flaming isn't always cyber-bullying).

I find it sad that some misguided parents will actually buy this guide and think it is right.

 

[molester jester]

I have never heard any of them used in the translated way

 

[Deleted]

Can I write a book with words pulled outta my ass and some hardcore punk teen on the cover? Its not fair how only these 'experts' get to make the easy money.

 

[Hallow'sEve]

fap = masturbation, everyone knows this. So the only logical conclusion is that the teens decided to mess with the parents heads by making bogus lingo that'll sound even dumber when they try to use it.

 

[IxionIndustries]

This news article is totally "hip" and "rad". Word....

 

[JRCB]

This list makes no sense to me! From the words I've skimmed over, no one uses them!

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

Ahh this stuff never gets dull. At the rate english is changeing, by the time the reasurch for this article was done it was out dated. Just pathetic how they never will realy get it, the more they try the more they fail.