Patents: New and Fantastic Inventions!

[Anarchemitis]

Partially unlike the above title, post your cool patent ideas here and I will steal them.
I mean think they are cool.

My idea for a patent: A new kind of jet fuel that is only flammable once an electric current has been passed through it. The fuel would only be fuel once inside the engine, therefore decreasing damage from inconvienient explosions in the unlikely event of a crash.

 

[Shajinn]

You mean actually useful things or just any type of crazy bull that comes to our minds? Cause yours seems pretty serious.

I think you could use a couple of small turbines mounted on your car to make electricity and store it on a rechargeable battery for later usage. Dunno if it works though.

 

[Break]

A new version of the Freeloader that converts the latest EA Sports clone into brand new Mario Galaxy levels.

A computer device that allows you to punch people through the internet.

A neural chip that tricks your brain into believing that healthy food doesn't taste like grass and wheat.

Man, I could do this all day.

 

[sammyfreak]

A book with Oscar Wilde quotes.

 

[Anarchemitis]

You mean actually useful things or just any type of crazy bull that comes to our minds? Cause yours seems pretty serious.

Yeah, I kinda wanted realistic patent ideas, just to see if people really had good ones nowandays.

 

[CasualZombie]

I totally agree with Break one of the "Syndicate Wars" nerve chips to change someone I know from "If I don't fully understand the situation I better speak louder and then think it'll make me seem smart" to "Slap myself, HARD!"

instead of 50galleon/millemetre smoke-churning combustion fuels we could go with good ole fashion fungus' desire to eat what it can and spread to push our gyrocopter cylinders thus generating enough feaces when I ram a pack of sugar into my fungal-containment unit to make me content with the amount when I chuck it at whomever is responsible for double-yellow lining all the good parking spaces around my town for purposes of "beautification"...grr

motion-sensors suits and hat-vdu's allround for a really realistic version of counterstrike

string-puppets with the strings built on the inside controlled by CPU control system to make a cheap-as-chips robot army to punch all the japanese motion-capture actors who think their characters should all be hyperactive melodramatic freaks... and the power rangers

 

[John Galt]

For my school project I drew up a rough draft of a system that will launch aircraft using a magnetic catapult. While the Speeding Metal Deathtrap 9000 still needs some work, I think it would be practical if we could design a sturdy, foldable wing aircraft and some really good ways of coping with acceleration.

 

[Action_Bastard]

Cigarettes that don't eventually kill you.
X-ray glasses. Never mind.
A weight reduction back-pack. And not because I played to much EQ back in the day.


This reminds me something I read on the internet were a guy said that technological innovation has stopped because all we do now is improve the things we already have.

 

[The Franco]

A fast mute button on Xbox live. When a person talks, you simply only press one button and they're instantly muted.

A GPS system in cars so people can find a decent restaurant in America that doesn't require a mortgage to eat there and also doesn't raise my cholesterol by ten percent.

A device that sends a live current through a person's keyboard that activates whenever they they upload something irreverant/useless onto youtube. A community of employees will vote on which users get zapped, and when a certain amount of votes is reached, a current will be waiting on the violators keyboard. It's a pending patent,so it may be a little flawed.

 

[LOLocaust]

An enormous, rocket powered garbage truck that will carry our endless loads of garbage directly into the sun or a small moon of Yavin.

 

[jim_doki]

one word
Firechucks

 

[PurpleRain]

Space Marines. Jesus guys. We have the designs set out. Giant bulks of armour. Two hearts and three lungs. Super enhanced bone structure. Bullets that punch holes in tanks. Sounds easy.

 

[Knight Templar]

I patent any(and every) thing that doesn't allready exist. Do anything new and I will sue you into tomorrow, which I will by that time own the leagal rights to.

*****!


Failing that. A computer that stores infomation on every atom, it shall be called HAL 9000*.

*I swear i've heard that somewhere, oh well nevermind time to build a space ship.

 

[CasualZombie]

A banana-powered chimp army!

a set of lenses to redirect many different strains of light all into the same direction creating a powerful but soler-powered laser aimed at gansta rappers/modern RnB artists/Justin Timberlake

 

[InProgress]

An electromagnetic device that destroys the internal circuitry of cellphones that play loud music that nobody wants to listen to, especially on the street. It also should be the size of a wristwatch, to not be detectable.

 

[Kogarian]

For my Marketing class, we had a project where we must "invent" and market a totally new product or service. My groups project, we decided on a pair of shoes/boots that would help midgets reach high-up things... We called it the Dwarf Launcher, not very politically correct, but it seemed to amuse the class enough, and got us a decent mark.

Other things my fucked-up mind has come up with (If you steal these, I demand 10% of all sales):
Disposable Vaginas - Cyberskin inserts for hookers that allow them to seem less like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

Fart Anti-Muffler - An attachment for pants that magnifies and adjusts the sound of passed gas to simulate a car driving by with those damn loundeners on the exhaust. Good for comedic value or to blame the noise on street racers (incase you don't have a dog).

Behavioral Driving Enforcer - A computerized device to become a mandatory device in all automobiles which prevents people from driving like idiots or assholes. Limits vehicle speed to the assigned road limits, override button available, but use causes instant speeding ticket to print and issue demerits against license. "Highway Slalom" (constantly changing lanes to cut ahead of cars) would cause the vehicle to pull over and shutdown for 30-minutes.

Those are actually some really good ideas.

I'm not sure if this could be called an invention, but I always wanted to start a midget football leage. Not little kids, but actual midgets. I think it could sell.