Pick a useless super power

[SoranMBane]

The power to communicate telepathically with plushie animals. I wouldn't be able to use it for espionage or anything like that, because, as we should all be aware, stuffed animals don't have ears or eyes. The things I communicate to them would be the only things they could ever know, so I'd basically be like a plushie god.

 

[uchytjes]

The ability to skip any length of time where I would otherwise be doing some menial task or nothing important. In other words, all buses and trains come on time and I get home immediately. If I have something I want to do during that time, I can choose not to skip it.

Wasn't that the plot to the movie Click?

 

[bialy_gibson]

Ability to shed sweet tears.

 

[mutantofspring]

reading the thoughts of goldfish

 

[Vausch]

Having infinite, correct knowledge about every and any subject

but only on the Internet.

 

[mrhappy1489]

The power of having ridiculously fantastic hand writing in any language. Watch and be amazed as I write a's in any font, from helvetica to times new roman.

 

[introverted_surd]

A Mitchell and Webb sketch had a good one.
Telekenetic powers over biscuits and nothing else.

 

[Socius]

Hard choice I'd say but I'll have to either chose the abillity to turn cucumbers into pickles on touch, or the power to phase through unlocked doors.

 

[schiz0phren1c]

the ability to guess last week's lottery numbers.

 

[s0p0g]

the ability to remember every captcha i ever answered, do answer and will answer
captcha agrees and says: seems legit xD

Spoiler

That post is from April 2nd... how did you do that?

I would like the ability to fly up to two inches above the ground.

i have another useless superpower, which is to create forum posts from the future, in the future, but now... or something xD

edit: also, you and i are in the same time-zone; as the timestamp seems to be the local time it makes perfect sense

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

The ability to turn everything valuable like oil, precious metals, jewels etc. into dog shit. My superhero tag line would be taking down capitalism...one turd at a time.

Well, that sounds like
*puts on sunglasses*
a pretty shitty power

The ability to instantly grow my toenails by 200%.
The ability to instantly make things dirty after just having cleaned them up. Expect I can do that only to my own things.

 

[Kirchhoff42]

I will become invincible when no one is looking.

 

[thespyisdead]

hmmm... i want to have balls of steel! that way i can hurt people just by saying kick me in the balls! but only if they kick me

 

[Alluos]

The ability to melt butter with but a thought!
Although it could prove useful for getting into tight spaces... but otherwise not really.

 

[Not Matt]

i shall be...

Spoiler: *drum role*

[HEADING=1] CAPTAIN MEH[/HEADING]​

[HEADING=2]with the power to make people exceedingly bored .[/HEADING]​

Good for: making the villain so bored he abandons the evil plan and goes home.
alter ego: high school English teacher
my kryptonite: dinner parties

 

[DanielBrown]

Slight chance this has already been posted, but I'll throw it out here anyways:

I'll go with the 75% levitation ability. Gasp at my almost levitating powers!

 

[wintercoat]

I pick resistance to ice cream headaches! Villains beware! The Eye Screamer's days are numbered!

 

[A Weakgeek]

Making myself invisible. But only to myself, so everyone else could still see me.

 

[SonofaJohannes]

The power to control the shape of my shadow. Pretty useless, but it would keep me entertained for a while.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

The ability to skip any length of time where I would otherwise be doing some menial task or nothing important. In other words, all buses and trains come on time and I get home immediately. If I have something I want to do during that time, I can choose not to skip it.

Wasn't that the plot to the movie Click?

I wouldn't know, I didn't see it.

Having looked it up, no, the powers in that movie are far more broad and useful than merely skipping useless time.