Pick a useless super power

[Ieyke]

How about having the power of being invisible but only when I am in darkness!

Maybe it's because I'm unusually stealth-based, but holy shit would that be useful!
Granted, nowhere near as useful as general invisibility, but still amazing as hell.



I'd choose...never having to fight with my brain. If I want to recall something or think of a word, I can, assuming I ever took the time to learn it in the first place. Not photographic memory where I can just glance at stuff and remember it, but if I stop and take the time to remember something, I CAN remember it at will.

 

[AT God]

I like the one from Family Guy where Meg has the ability to grow and shrink her fingernails, that would be fun and useless

 

[keideki]

The power to turn cabbage into lettuce but only after 15 hours of intense concentration.

 

[Jayemsal]

Spider Sense, without the super speed to react to it.

 

[Henkie36]

The ability to instantly make sandwiches, but only if the ingredients are already at hand. That would be very cool.

 

[templar1138a]

The power to turn any eating utensil into a plastic spork. The only real use that would serve would be if my arch-nemesis had an antique and highly valuable collection of silverware.

 

[Xariat]

The ability to see 3 seconds into the past
The ability to morph into a rock, the process is irreversible
The ability to read the mind of grass (grass can not see, hear, smell, or think for that matter)
The ability to summon dust, but only one particle per hour.
the ability to hover 1 nano-meter, but only on solid, smooth and perfectly horizontal surfaces.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

Making hot dogs cold.

It's about as useless as I can think.

 

[Ickorus]

Being able to make bees orgasm by willing it.
But only one bee every three minutes.

You do realize that when a male bee reaches climax it's testicles explode?

You're not a very nice person.

Mine would be the ability to turn invisible, but only when no-one is looking.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Being able to make bees orgasm by willing it.
But only one bee every three minutes.

You do realize that when a male bee reaches climax it's testicles explode?

You're not a very nice person.

Muhaahahahahahaaaa, I shall decimate the bee-population, one male bee at a time...
The perfect crime, MUHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

 

[The Funslinger]

Being able to make bees orgasm by willing it.
But only one bee every three minutes.

You do realize that when a male bee reaches climax it's testicles explode?

You're not a very nice person.

Muhaahahahahahaaaa, I shall decimate the bee-population, one male bee at a time...
The perfect crime, MUHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

Gotta admit, that's a hell of a way to die.

 

[MiskWisk]

The ability to turn coke into pepsi. The kicker is, I don't like either!

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Being able to make bees orgasm by willing it.
But only one bee every three minutes.

You do realize that when a male bee reaches climax it's testicles explode?

You're not a very nice person.

Muhaahahahahahaaaa, I shall decimate the bee-population, one male bee at a time...
The perfect crime, MUHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

Gotta admit, that's a hell of a way to die.

You will know pure happiness, the best moment of your short life...
AND THEN YOUR BALLS EXPLODE

 

[Dr_McSteamy]

I've got two.
The ability to mess with the magnetic markers birds use for migration. Now I would t be able to say, dive bomb anyone. But the zoologist community would be really confused! And I imagine there would be a lot of poo where there wasn't before.

Second is the ability to coat any vehicle in a paint that cannot get dirty. Only it's a terribly ugly color... So your car would always look fabulous! And horrible!

 

[xptn40S]

Ooooh, I figured out a good one:

The power to levitate air!
(Just plain old O2, nothing else)

And no, you can't actually lift anything with the air you're levitating.

 

[SwiftBlade18]

The power to turn coca-cola to pepsi...and vice-versa of course.

Imagine the fun!

Flatmate opens can and drinks..."This coke tastes like pepsi"

Cookie for who gets the reference

 

[The Funslinger]

The power to turn coca-cola to pepsi...and vice-versa of course.

Imagine the fun!

Flatmate opens can and drinks..."This coke tastes like pepsi"

Cookie for who gets the reference

Little Nicky.

Being able to make bees orgasm by willing it.
But only one bee every three minutes.

You do realize that when a male bee reaches climax it's testicles explode?

You're not a very nice person.

Muhaahahahahahaaaa, I shall decimate the bee-population, one male bee at a time...
The perfect crime, MUHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

Gotta admit, that's a hell of a way to die.

You will know pure happiness, the best moment of your short life...
AND THEN YOUR BALLS EXPLODE

First of all: *Happiness*

Second: Imagine it: An orgasm so intense, your nuts explode.

 

[ccggenius12]

The ability to grow larger, especially in the mornings, negated for an extended period of time by exposure to hot coffee in your lap.
Or the ability to remember the names of designer scents of celebrities.
The last man on earth with a working 8 track player.
Or, for a power that would just be depressing, having genitals small enough to fit into the tiniest of openings.

the ability to hover 1 nano-meter, but only on solid, smooth and perfectly horizontal surfaces.

Dude, roller skating is totally coming back, and when it does, you'll get all the fly honeys at the roller rink.

 

[malade11]

The ability to be immortal but you grow old and you fell pain.

 

[Andrew_C]

The uncanny ability to be completely and utterly unhelpful in any given situation!