Poem for a girl

[goater24]

Ok, I'm not usually known for commenting on these sort of posts, as I am usually unhelpful and offensive, but seeing its the Christmas period and all some words of advise.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD" man come to your senses and please don't send her this. The world we live in isn't some sugar coated fairy land where all our dreams come true. A poem like this if the feelings are not entirely recipricated will come of as hokey stalkerish and pathetic as it currently reads.

Are you prepared for the obligitory sympathy hug? and getting metaphorically laughed out of town? (Unless she really is a cow and you will literally get laughed out of town.)

Find a gift she would really want or if you have no dollar then make or find something personal to her. Trashy poems are called trashy poems for a reason fella. My advise, be very careful as you are setting yourself up for a fall. Hope it goes well though!

 

[rossatdi]

Is anyone else concerned that we've not heard from the OP? Considering he was writing a poem for a girl he liked but wasn't going out with I'd be worried he's jumped off a bridge, or worse, given her that poem.

 

[HSIAMetalKing]

If I were you, I'd stick a twenty dollar bill in that card. If the poem doesn't melt her panties off, the prospect of cash certainly will.

Are you ever not a dropkick?

A dropkick? I don't know.

 

[PatientGrasshopper]

I wrote a poem for a girl once, it was my best work, even though it was only 6 lines.

 

[SovietSecrets]

Is anyone else concerned that we've not heard from the OP? Considering he was writing a poem for a girl he liked but wasn't going out with I'd be worried he's jumped off a bridge, or worse, given her that poem.

Don't worry i haven't given the poem yet was waiting to see what you guys said...right now i am glad i did. So ill take your advice and write something a little less serious,less rhyming, and without the L word. You guys prob just saved me a very bad day/end. Ill post it once i get another idea for an opening line...any ideas perhaps?

 

[odatnarat]

its cute..

by the way how old is the girl? haha i think this would work depending on how old is the girl..

 

[SovietSecrets]

its cute..

by the way how old is the girl? haha i think this would work depending on how old is the girl..

She is 19

 

[KyoraSan]

Being female, I think I should throw in my two cents.

While I find your poem rather cute, its also rather stalkerish, as the others before me eluded to. I personally would love getting a poem from someone I loved just before they asked me out, but only if we were both in that stage where we kinda knew it was going to happen, but it hadn't yet, possibly because no one had taken the time to actually ask if she wanted to start dating.

Girls have different reactions to being told someone loves them before they start dating. Sometimes, having someone act intimate and say such things before may strangely cause her to get nervous. But at times, it can also actually increase infatuation. Dating is a tricky business.

As for the poem itself? Bad. Maybe 'tis my predisposition towards disliking poetry that rhymes, especially when those rhymes sound like their out of a Dr. Seuss book, but I just don't like it. But then again, the poem isn't meant to be a Shakespearean Ballad. It's meant to be a cute short little thing to express love.
Also. Use of the word 'tight' in a poem is a big no no. Poetry is not rap. Rap is a form of poetry - though I daren't say that seeing as how most rap music is a steaming pile of whatsit.

But enough about my musical tastes and random ramblings. Poem or not, I wish you luck with her.

You sound an awful lot like me, rather scarily. Except I'm a boy and you're a girl.
We're the same you and I, in a weird parallel universe kind of way.

Its sorta like someone just kinda broke space/time. Kinda cool to meet someone whose you, but in a different way.

 

[rossatdi]

Merry Christmas from me to you

How well do you know this chica? Is this love from afar or is it a friend that you want to be than a friend with?

Merry Christmas from me to you
As its the season I ought to be true
We've known each other for a while
But this year I'm hoping for more than a smile!

Go rhyming!

 

[Captain Wes]

Roses are red
violets are blue
this set-up is lame
but I hope at least i can make you smile or giggle for a second so I can look at your tits while you're distracted

(Editors note: This is what got me my current wife)

 

[Mariena]

I don't like poetry in general, so I might be a little bit biased.. but this is just so.. ergh. Too much sucking up.

Besides, if you're close enough together to say that you love her (and she loves you in return), who the heck needs a poem? "Hey babe, I love you. Wanna go out for dinner?" "Okay! Love you too." - The End.

Or at least make it something corny. Cheesy. Funny. Not this horrible romantic *crap*.

 

[Lord George]

I did the same thing giving someone a poem, though I gave it along with a present so I didn't just appear cheap hehe. Ahhh I love the holidays

 

[Hey Joe]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

You should try to write a Shakespearean sonnet, nothing says love like the word 'forsooth'.

 

[rossatdi]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
That's what they tell me
Because I'm blind
..
Will you go out with me?

 

[corporate_gamer]

Write on there that its a scented card then soak it in Chloroform for a few days before you give it to her. You stalkey stalker.

Brilliant

 

[Duck Sandwich]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

You should try to write a Shakespearean sonnet, nothing says love like the word 'forsooth'.

This man speaks the truth.
Indeed.... forsooth!
As various posters have already said
And their warnings do not let get over your head
Do not profess your love with a poem
Instead, ask the girl out, and get to know 'em

This girl with whom you are smitten
And you find adorable as a kitten
Would be delighted to hear a sonnet
I tell you, I'd stake my life on it

But only after your relationship has begun
And you are convinced that she is the one
Should you put a poem of love to use
Otherwise, you'll be tightening your own noose

 

[rossatdi]

This man speaks the truth.
Indeed.... forsooth!
As various posters have already said
And their warnings do not let get over your head
Do not profess your love with a poem
Instead, ask the girl out, and get to know 'em

This girl with whom you are smitten
And you find adorable as a kitten
Would be delighted to hear a sonnet
I tell you, I'd stake my life on it

But only after your relationship has begun
And you are convinced that she is the one
Should you put a poem of love to use
Otherwise, you'll be tightening your own noose

*Clap* *Clap* *Clap*
You win.
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[MrGFunk]

Instead of just only buying a gift this year and some crappy holiday card, i decided to write a my own poem

If you know her you know how this will be received. It seems your sentiment is well meant. I hope it goes well for you.

You could go for a classic though.