I'm a bit lazy sometimes when it comes to character creation. Probably because I am too anxious to play the game.Jenova65 said:
ME2 - Or like Dr. Claw from inspector Gadget!
Poke Fun at Your Favorite Games and Their Bad Points
- Thread starter Onyx Oblivion
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ME2 - Or like Dr. Claw from inspector Gadget!
Team Fortress 2:
*Sniping sounds*
*Silence*
*Sniper screaming from backstab*
AUGH! Why is no one checking for these things!
(more a burn on the players)
TF2: (again)
*Boom headshot*
AUGH! Sniped before the gate opened again.
Portal:
If you really wanted to kill me you should have had me Leap-of-faith into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator!
*Sniping sounds*
*Silence*
*Sniper screaming from backstab*
AUGH! Why is no one checking for these things!
(more a burn on the players)
TF2: (again)
*Boom headshot*
AUGH! Sniped before the gate opened again.
Portal:
If you really wanted to kill me you should have had me Leap-of-faith into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator!
My brother calls me Dangermouse when I do something particularly silly. Like try to scale a little cliff, even though I have no climbing skills whatsoever.Jenova65 said:
And just so we are not accused of derailing the thread too much, I'll do another one.
Left 4 Dead
It's nice that a frying pan, guitar and machete all seem to be able to kill zombies with equal efficiency. And damn, they make some tough guitars these days.
God Of War 3
(Spoilers, obviously)
(Spoilers, obviously)
"Hmmm, let's see...so I have to work cooperatively...with a female character who can fit into narrow spaces I can't get into...in order to solve mechanical puzzles? Where'd you pick that idea up, Kratos, when fighting the Persians and their royalty, hmmm?" (This is not really a bad point, it's very well done, it just seems...awfully familiar...)
"What in the name of Hades are the Playstation icons doing carved into that device? (few moment's pause) Oh, come on, if I wanted to play Guitar Hero, I'd fucking play Guitar Hero!"
"What in the name of Hades are the Playstation icons doing carved into that device? (few moment's pause) Oh, come on, if I wanted to play Guitar Hero, I'd fucking play Guitar Hero!"
Jak and Daxter:
J&D1) Who does Daxter turn into a GOD when he falls into dark echo, and I die?
J&D2) Why don't I die when I get tons upon tons of dark echo in me, and why don't I become a god aswell, instead of a werewolf?
J&D3) Why are the gods so retarded?
J&D4) Why is Daxter transformed into a beeing double the size of humans when exposed to even MORE dark echo? Why is there pirates in this game? And WHY IN THE HELL is the smug, pretentious pirate taking my girl, trying to kill me and why do I have to put up with him, instead of killing him for taking my woman? -.-
(PS: in J&D4 - Where's the old love interest, Kiara?)
((PSS: in J&DX - Where's the dark echo, and when did Kiara get a fetish for cars? I thought she loved ME not the cars!))
J&D1) Who does Daxter turn into a GOD when he falls into dark echo, and I die?
J&D2) Why don't I die when I get tons upon tons of dark echo in me, and why don't I become a god aswell, instead of a werewolf?
J&D3) Why are the gods so retarded?
J&D4) Why is Daxter transformed into a beeing double the size of humans when exposed to even MORE dark echo? Why is there pirates in this game? And WHY IN THE HELL is the smug, pretentious pirate taking my girl, trying to kill me and why do I have to put up with him, instead of killing him for taking my woman? -.-
(PS: in J&D4 - Where's the old love interest, Kiara?)
((PSS: in J&DX - Where's the dark echo, and when did Kiara get a fetish for cars? I thought she loved ME not the cars!))
Halo series: CE; Oh my god I love this! Simple FPS controls and the story is looking good!
2; Huh, multiplayer is it's only saving grace..who wrote this story? You should be ashamed...
3; *is playing Oblivion instead* Fuck you Halo 3, all you did was bend over and let the fanatical 12 year olds do nasty things to you. Go cry in the corner you worthless excuse for a sequel.
Oblivion: The deer just took off into space and the bandit exploded! The Bandit EXPLODED!!
2; Huh, multiplayer is it's only saving grace..who wrote this story? You should be ashamed...
3; *is playing Oblivion instead* Fuck you Halo 3, all you did was bend over and let the fanatical 12 year olds do nasty things to you. Go cry in the corner you worthless excuse for a sequel.
Oblivion: The deer just took off into space and the bandit exploded! The Bandit EXPLODED!!
Monster Hunter (any of them.... but my favourite are PSP's until i get the Wii version)
Me:i just killed one of the strongest Monster ever! how awesome am i?!
*fump, lame bullfango knocks me over because i couldn't see it coming*
Me: well, that was vastly unfortunate, yet i seem to have taken very little damage.. now i will take my time getting up, allowing it to turn around and face me again,so that as soon as i get onto my feet i'm just intime to get hit by another charge i cannot dodge in time because i've only just regained control over my character
*fump......... get u-Fump....... get up aga-fump...*
One Piece: unlimited cruise 2
wow, these fight scenes are completely awesome... i remember that move from the anime! thats so awesome that i can do that! wait, whats this? i have to go on a massive scavenger hunt to painfully find sea-salt ore, make tonnes of salt-pellets from that so that when i kill Zombies i've got a small chance of collecting a shadow, which i need 100 of to progress through the story.
Generic Metal Gear complaints:
BRRRRRRUUUUTHAAAAARRRR (spelt like how he pronounces it) (why oh why do characters refuse to ever die in the metal gear series!? Gray Fox takes 3 games to cop it, Big-Boss didn't die, Liquid ... gah! Least Vamp was explained... wait, no he ruddy wasnt! we were just supposed to accept that he was Immortal!?)
Final Fantasy X:
Friend: Hey, have you actually spent 300+ hours on this game!? geez, you need to get out more
Me: no, i spent about 70 hours on completing the game, 130 doing all extra stuff and the rest on frikking Blitzball!!!
(seriously, why is Blitzball that much fun! i played it waaay more than all other sport games i've played added together! Square should just produce a game for Blitzball... would love it!)
Resident Evil 5:
Older Brother: I bought this game, its totally awesome
Me: Sweet.... let me just play it
(next day)
Me: Hey, wheres that game, i only got up to, like, the 2nd level
Older Brother: Oh, yeah, i completed it and so i returned it and more than likely spent the money on drinks and smokes
(okay... maybe not the Games fault, as i am sure it had others if I HAD FRIKKING TIME TO PLAY THE THING!
fortunately, i bought resident evil 4 and that is apparently a lot better in every aspect other than Graphics... which were pretty impressive anyway)
EDIT
i actually had this for X-box, so i played that one to death, went to my friends house and had a mess-around save file. What i really wanted was a mod that allowed me to steal peoples clothes as well... just would have been so funny in Arena if i could steal their armour and get them disqualified... shame i wasn't too good at finding Mods and Patches, as i had no patience spending hours trailing through NEXforums or wherever.
Me:i just killed one of the strongest Monster ever! how awesome am i?!
*fump, lame bullfango knocks me over because i couldn't see it coming*
Me: well, that was vastly unfortunate, yet i seem to have taken very little damage.. now i will take my time getting up, allowing it to turn around and face me again,so that as soon as i get onto my feet i'm just intime to get hit by another charge i cannot dodge in time because i've only just regained control over my character
*fump......... get u-Fump....... get up aga-fump...*
One Piece: unlimited cruise 2
wow, these fight scenes are completely awesome... i remember that move from the anime! thats so awesome that i can do that! wait, whats this? i have to go on a massive scavenger hunt to painfully find sea-salt ore, make tonnes of salt-pellets from that so that when i kill Zombies i've got a small chance of collecting a shadow, which i need 100 of to progress through the story.
Generic Metal Gear complaints:
BRRRRRRUUUUTHAAAAARRRR (spelt like how he pronounces it) (why oh why do characters refuse to ever die in the metal gear series!? Gray Fox takes 3 games to cop it, Big-Boss didn't die, Liquid ... gah! Least Vamp was explained... wait, no he ruddy wasnt! we were just supposed to accept that he was Immortal!?)
Final Fantasy X:
Friend: Hey, have you actually spent 300+ hours on this game!? geez, you need to get out more
Me: no, i spent about 70 hours on completing the game, 130 doing all extra stuff and the rest on frikking Blitzball!!!
(seriously, why is Blitzball that much fun! i played it waaay more than all other sport games i've played added together! Square should just produce a game for Blitzball... would love it!)
Resident Evil 5:
Older Brother: I bought this game, its totally awesome
Me: Sweet.... let me just play it
(next day)
Me: Hey, wheres that game, i only got up to, like, the 2nd level
Older Brother: Oh, yeah, i completed it and so i returned it and more than likely spent the money on drinks and smokes
(okay... maybe not the Games fault, as i am sure it had others if I HAD FRIKKING TIME TO PLAY THE THING!
fortunately, i bought resident evil 4 and that is apparently a lot better in every aspect other than Graphics... which were pretty impressive anyway)
EDIT
was that the PC one? i remember walking around and using the console to set random peoples bounties to 10 and watching the guards run up and bludgeon them to death, and then me taking their 10 gold which they could have probably paid to remove their bounty XDThe Maddest March Hare said:
i actually had this for X-box, so i played that one to death, went to my friends house and had a mess-around save file. What i really wanted was a mod that allowed me to steal peoples clothes as well... just would have been so funny in Arena if i could steal their armour and get them disqualified... shame i wasn't too good at finding Mods and Patches, as i had no patience spending hours trailing through NEXforums or wherever.
First 1/2 hour of Final Fantasy X-2
Oh, OH GOD NOOOOO! it's final fucking fantasy dress-up! Please kill me now! Have mercy!
Oh, OH GOD NOOOOO! it's final fucking fantasy dress-up! Please kill me now! Have mercy!
The ninja police came from the Ninja Police Academy of course! There's one in every major city, but they use old abandoned warehouses as a cover.Onyx Oblivion said:
Tekken 6:
This game is just the same as the 5 that precede it. What a waste.
And don't me started on Azazel. He's a godly piece of shit.
This game is just the same as the 5 that precede it. What a waste.
And don't me started on Azazel. He's a godly piece of shit.
Mother 3
Angst, angst, angst...
And why is that cripple kicking people with his bum leg?
Final Fantasy IV
Angst, angst, plot angst, angst...
Wait, Edward? Noooooo! You got Twilight in my Final Fantasy!
Pikmin 2
I'm attacking cute little animals with flowers. -15 Man Cards.
Stupid overglorified gardening simulator...
Angst, angst, angst...
And why is that cripple kicking people with his bum leg?
Final Fantasy IV
Angst, angst, plot angst, angst...
Wait, Edward? Noooooo! You got Twilight in my Final Fantasy!
Pikmin 2
I'm attacking cute little animals with flowers. -15 Man Cards.
Stupid overglorified gardening simulator...
Resident Evil 4
OHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGAD! The zombies are coming! OHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGADOHMI- "Let's see... Shotgun? No, not enough ammo. Sub-machine gun? Naw, I'll need that for a boss... Screw it, I'll just stick with the pistol" -GADOHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGAD
OHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGAD! The zombies are coming! OHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGADOHMI- "Let's see... Shotgun? No, not enough ammo. Sub-machine gun? Naw, I'll need that for a boss... Screw it, I'll just stick with the pistol" -GADOHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGADOHMIGAD
Fire Emblem:
What's that we're in the middle of a battle, why don't we stop for a minute to arm wrestle, don't worry the enemy will just stand there anyways.
I'm sorry we cant let you in the villain army unless your incredibly ugly, and yes we already have enough "fighting for what the country used to represent" guys so you can't do that ether.
What's that we're in the middle of a battle, why don't we stop for a minute to arm wrestle, don't worry the enemy will just stand there anyways.
I'm sorry we cant let you in the villain army unless your incredibly ugly, and yes we already have enough "fighting for what the country used to represent" guys so you can't do that ether.
Bioshock
"Hey wow! I can fire lightning from my frigging hands! Let's try it out! Oops, I missed. Let's try again, oops again, and again..." (The aiming system is horrific for plasmids for anyone wondering what the hell I am on about).
Bioshock 2
"So... I am in a big diving suit? How the hell do I smoke, eat crisps and drink bottles of scotch again?"
Fallout 3
"Ah! I've been shot! Let's find some tasty, irradiated water to make me feel all better..."
Mass Effect
"Hey that girl in a protective suit is cute, and she has a sexy voice too, what do you mean I can only be with the 'blonde' alien and the mouthy *****!?"
Mass Effect 2
"So if I say something nice about a pile of dead bodies I am a good guy, but if I shoot some guys about to pump my body full of laser I'm the asshole?"
Left 4 Dead 1/2 + TF2
"Why do they allow other people to play games..."
"Hey wow! I can fire lightning from my frigging hands! Let's try it out! Oops, I missed. Let's try again, oops again, and again..." (The aiming system is horrific for plasmids for anyone wondering what the hell I am on about).
Bioshock 2
"So... I am in a big diving suit? How the hell do I smoke, eat crisps and drink bottles of scotch again?"
Fallout 3
"Ah! I've been shot! Let's find some tasty, irradiated water to make me feel all better..."
Mass Effect
"Hey that girl in a protective suit is cute, and she has a sexy voice too, what do you mean I can only be with the 'blonde' alien and the mouthy *****!?"
Mass Effect 2
"So if I say something nice about a pile of dead bodies I am a good guy, but if I shoot some guys about to pump my body full of laser I'm the asshole?"
Left 4 Dead 1/2 + TF2
"Why do they allow other people to play games..."