Poke Fun at Your Favorite Games and Their Bad Points
- Thread starter Onyx Oblivion
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Modern Warfare 2:
Fallout 3: I've just shot you three times in the face with a combat shotgun... why won't you die? Oh nevermind, this pistol will do the trick...
I'm stood behind the world's most wanted terrorist with a high caliber machine gun, but I've got to hold my fire?! What?!
Fallout 3: I've just shot you three times in the face with a combat shotgun... why won't you die? Oh nevermind, this pistol will do the trick...
Jak 3. "Yay, veichles in a large free-world envoierment" *drives over a rock and flips 40 times into a rock* "What. The. Eff."
Jak 2. "Yay I love this game, it's great in every way" *The last race in the tournament* "OH GOD WHY?!?!"
Batman Arkham Asylum.
Batman: Joker! It's you and me nao!!11!
Joker: Oh noes, my hax won't work!!11 Error code!!!11 Quick, weak goons fight him! Just like every other boss battle!!11
Batman: Oh come on! Oh well...
*Gets killed for the 624975924534695265703462567 time by a goon you couldn't reach that got his hands on an assault rifle*
WORLD OF PAIN!!!
Jak 2. "Yay I love this game, it's great in every way" *The last race in the tournament* "OH GOD WHY?!?!"
Batman Arkham Asylum.
Batman: Joker! It's you and me nao!!11!
Joker: Oh noes, my hax won't work!!11 Error code!!!11 Quick, weak goons fight him! Just like every other boss battle!!11
Batman: Oh come on! Oh well...
*Gets killed for the 624975924534695265703462567 time by a goon you couldn't reach that got his hands on an assault rifle*
WORLD OF PAIN!!!
World of Warcraft:
"Alright, Bill, We've spent the pas ten minutes carving our way through solitary enemies and we've finally reached our target. Let's ge- OH GAWD WHERE DID ALL THESE ADDS COME FROM?!"
"What do you mean the elves can't use magic? They're elves!"
GTAIV:
Bloody hell, Niko! Get.Out.Of.Cover.
"Alright, Bill, We've spent the pas ten minutes carving our way through solitary enemies and we've finally reached our target. Let's ge- OH GAWD WHERE DID ALL THESE ADDS COME FROM?!"
"What do you mean the elves can't use magic? They're elves!"
GTAIV:
Bloody hell, Niko! Get.Out.Of.Cover.
Assassin's Creed II
Lucy's character design. Omg its freakin scary! XDD
Final Fantasy XIII
Vanille is a cool character...but her vocie is freackin annoying.
Bioshock 2
The Splicers are wayyyyy to lineare.
Lucy's character design. Omg its freakin scary! XDD
Final Fantasy XIII
Vanille is a cool character...but her vocie is freackin annoying.
Bioshock 2
The Splicers are wayyyyy to lineare.
Assassin's Creed
"Hey, I can run up walls!"
"Oh no I can't... No, you stupid man! Climb the ladder!"
"What? Why did you just jump off that tower? I didn't tell you to do that!"
"Shut up, Al Mualim! Nobody likes you or your stupid monologues!"
"!"
"Come on, attack me, attack me. I don't want to attack you because then I get no awesome stabbing animation."
"NO YOU RETARDED LEPER FUCK OFF AND STOP HITTING ME"
"'You lost synchronisation'? What? You mean I can't randomly stab people in the face?"
All this, and more...
"Hey, I can run up walls!"
"Oh no I can't... No, you stupid man! Climb the ladder!"
"What? Why did you just jump off that tower? I didn't tell you to do that!"
"Shut up, Al Mualim! Nobody likes you or your stupid monologues!"
"!"
"Come on, attack me, attack me. I don't want to attack you because then I get no awesome stabbing animation."
"NO YOU RETARDED LEPER FUCK OFF AND STOP HITTING ME"
"'You lost synchronisation'? What? You mean I can't randomly stab people in the face?"
All this, and more...
Brutal Legend
You lied, to me man.
You told me you were an awesomely fun beat em up sandbox adventure.
Then you turn out to be a substandard RTS.
You lied to me.
You lied, to me man.
You told me you were an awesomely fun beat em up sandbox adventure.
Then you turn out to be a substandard RTS.
You lied to me.
Oh god, I've been playing Pokemon waaaaay too much lately. I thought this was a thread about Pokemon. Heh.
OT: Mass Effect 2.
WHY CAN'T I NOT PISS OFF JACK/LEGION
OT: Mass Effect 2.
WHY CAN'T I NOT PISS OFF JACK/LEGION
Resident Evil 4
The characters and story are awful, as comes with any Resident Evil game. The voice acting is probably the best for RE, but some of the worst for gaming in general. Also, the game wasn't scary enough. It was kind of freaky at first, but then it turned into action with no horror at all. Also, Ashley. At least give her a gun or something. She walks straight into enemies.
Call of Duty: United Offensive
The single player was... alright at best. Too short and much too hard. Especially when you compare it to Call of Duty Original, the single player is downright bland. I can think of zero criticism once it comes to the multiplayer, though. The teams were balanced, the mods were fantastic, and the community was great. I guess it could have used an integrated mic system but that's what vent, teamspeak, and Xfire are for, right?
Professor Layton and the Curious Village
No. Don't make me poke fun at this game.
Alright alright alright... the handing out of puzzles was a bit awkward at times. I mean, "I have information on what you asked me about, but first this puzzle!" doesn't make much sense, but the "Sure is a nice day outside. Say, that reminds me of a puzzle!" makes even less sense. I blame the puzzles themselves for being the problem. It's hard to create clever, unique dialogue to go along with every single puzzle... It just seems like they started the puzzles first and added the game in later.
BioShock
The gunplay was... lacking. It was most definitely not good shooter material, which doesn't make much sense why they would focus on shooting in the sequel but I digress... the horror was pretty forced and really wasn't scary at all. Mostly just smoke and mirrors with a couple of lights out. Also most of the quests turned into fetch quests near the end. It was mostly just "Find 5 pieces of this, then come back here," or "Ok, now that you're here, let's send you back to where you just were to find something you totally should have passed."
Half-Life 2
I'm... actually not sure. This game was just... good all around. Not great, just good. The shooting was good, the story was good, the puzzles were good, the characters were good, the level design was good, and the weapons were good. Nothing really all that special, yet nothing all that bad. I guess it just never left good. The Episodes were much too short and the achievements were impossible to get, if that counts. Basically, there was nothing all that wrong going for this game, just nothing going right enough to make it better.
Gears of War 2
The whole point of the game was "Grrr macho men!" blood-guts-and-guns which normally I hate, but I could look past it. That doesn't stop it from being there. The constant swearing where it didn't make sense, the enormous muscles on everyone, the gun with a chainsaw on it, it all seemed too... childish. It was like G.I. Joe: The Game except instead of lasers and friendship, it's chainsaws and cursing. Another thing was the character models. I thought that they looked great, honestly. The level of detail on the characters was insane, as was most of the things in the game. But they all just felt like a big circle to me. I didn't feel like any of them were human. Normally I try and relate to my character and when a teammate dies, I sometimes feel sad. Except these big muscley dudes who were basically just big blocks of geometry with no emotions pretty much gave me no feelings towards them.
Left 4 Dead 2
Mainly it just gets repetitive. Now, I haven't beaten all of the campaigns on expert mode or gotten gold medals on all the survivor levels. It's just that even if I did, I would just still be playing Left 4 Dead. There's nothing really different from mode to mode and even not that much different from the first game. What is the same is fun, though, so I guess it's not all that bad.
Sorry, I think I went a little too crazy on this. I didn't mean it to be that long.
The characters and story are awful, as comes with any Resident Evil game. The voice acting is probably the best for RE, but some of the worst for gaming in general. Also, the game wasn't scary enough. It was kind of freaky at first, but then it turned into action with no horror at all. Also, Ashley. At least give her a gun or something. She walks straight into enemies.
Call of Duty: United Offensive
The single player was... alright at best. Too short and much too hard. Especially when you compare it to Call of Duty Original, the single player is downright bland. I can think of zero criticism once it comes to the multiplayer, though. The teams were balanced, the mods were fantastic, and the community was great. I guess it could have used an integrated mic system but that's what vent, teamspeak, and Xfire are for, right?
Professor Layton and the Curious Village
No. Don't make me poke fun at this game.
Alright alright alright... the handing out of puzzles was a bit awkward at times. I mean, "I have information on what you asked me about, but first this puzzle!" doesn't make much sense, but the "Sure is a nice day outside. Say, that reminds me of a puzzle!" makes even less sense. I blame the puzzles themselves for being the problem. It's hard to create clever, unique dialogue to go along with every single puzzle... It just seems like they started the puzzles first and added the game in later.
BioShock
The gunplay was... lacking. It was most definitely not good shooter material, which doesn't make much sense why they would focus on shooting in the sequel but I digress... the horror was pretty forced and really wasn't scary at all. Mostly just smoke and mirrors with a couple of lights out. Also most of the quests turned into fetch quests near the end. It was mostly just "Find 5 pieces of this, then come back here," or "Ok, now that you're here, let's send you back to where you just were to find something you totally should have passed."
Half-Life 2
I'm... actually not sure. This game was just... good all around. Not great, just good. The shooting was good, the story was good, the puzzles were good, the characters were good, the level design was good, and the weapons were good. Nothing really all that special, yet nothing all that bad. I guess it just never left good. The Episodes were much too short and the achievements were impossible to get, if that counts. Basically, there was nothing all that wrong going for this game, just nothing going right enough to make it better.
Gears of War 2
The whole point of the game was "Grrr macho men!" blood-guts-and-guns which normally I hate, but I could look past it. That doesn't stop it from being there. The constant swearing where it didn't make sense, the enormous muscles on everyone, the gun with a chainsaw on it, it all seemed too... childish. It was like G.I. Joe: The Game except instead of lasers and friendship, it's chainsaws and cursing. Another thing was the character models. I thought that they looked great, honestly. The level of detail on the characters was insane, as was most of the things in the game. But they all just felt like a big circle to me. I didn't feel like any of them were human. Normally I try and relate to my character and when a teammate dies, I sometimes feel sad. Except these big muscley dudes who were basically just big blocks of geometry with no emotions pretty much gave me no feelings towards them.
Left 4 Dead 2
Mainly it just gets repetitive. Now, I haven't beaten all of the campaigns on expert mode or gotten gold medals on all the survivor levels. It's just that even if I did, I would just still be playing Left 4 Dead. There's nothing really different from mode to mode and even not that much different from the first game. What is the same is fun, though, so I guess it's not all that bad.
Sorry, I think I went a little too crazy on this. I didn't mean it to be that long.
This is why I only play medic now. Every game there's too many snipers. No matter what. Even on arena mode. I mean, why do we need 5 snipers on arena? Why do we even need one spy on arena! There's no reason for anyone to play as a spy on arena. Even engies are more useful than spies.atalanta said:
Phantasy Star IV
"It's not nice to open other peoples' cabinets without their permission." -Chaz Ashley
The running inside-gag of series fans ("phans").
Fallout 2
I have to avenge my tribe but FIRST, I'll fulfill my spoken dream of being a Porn Star! (It's funnier if you're a female player character.)
Shenmue
I must track down Lan Di and avenge my father's death... but first I'll pet this cute little KITTY! :3
"It's not nice to open other peoples' cabinets without their permission." -Chaz Ashley
The running inside-gag of series fans ("phans").
Fallout 2
I have to avenge my tribe but FIRST, I'll fulfill my spoken dream of being a Porn Star! (It's funnier if you're a female player character.)
Shenmue
I must track down Lan Di and avenge my father's death... but first I'll pet this cute little KITTY! :3
Command and conquer red alert 3.
(Sexy Russian lady voice)WARNING A VACUUM IMPLODER HAS BEEN DETECTED.
(Sexy Russian lady voice)WARNING A PHSYONIC DECIMATOR HAS BEEN DETECTED.
(Sexy Russian lady voice)WARNING A PHOTON COLOIDER HAS BEEN DETECTED.
(Me) No worries... just get a few twin blades bui-
(Sexy Russian lady voice) WARNING A PHOTON CO-DEFEAT.
(Sexy Russian lady voice)WARNING A VACUUM IMPLODER HAS BEEN DETECTED.
(Sexy Russian lady voice)WARNING A PHSYONIC DECIMATOR HAS BEEN DETECTED.
(Sexy Russian lady voice)WARNING A PHOTON COLOIDER HAS BEEN DETECTED.
(Me) No worries... just get a few twin blades bui-
(Sexy Russian lady voice) WARNING A PHOTON CO-DEFEAT.
Digital Devil Saga.
Random battle!
Whew, glad that's over!
Random Battle!
What?
Random Battle!
The?
Random Battle!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Random Battle!
cccckkkkkkk?!?!
............
..... Random Battle.
That game has the highest encounter rate I have ever seen in a game.
Random battle!
Whew, glad that's over!
Random Battle!
What?
Random Battle!
The?
Random Battle!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Random Battle!
cccckkkkkkk?!?!
............
..... Random Battle.
That game has the highest encounter rate I have ever seen in a game.
Dragon Age Origins
[As the old hermit in the forest appears out of a cloud of smoke and mist from a small hole in a tree trunk]
Morrigan: "Be careful I believe this one has powerful magic!"
My thoughts: "Oh really! What was your first clue? Could it have been that time he appeared from a smokey mist that billowed from a tree's trunk in the middle of a woods with werewolves? Is that what brought on this sudden spark of intuition? So thank you, thank you soooooo much for pointing that one out because I never would have been able to tell on my own!"
[As the old hermit in the forest appears out of a cloud of smoke and mist from a small hole in a tree trunk]
Morrigan: "Be careful I believe this one has powerful magic!"
My thoughts: "Oh really! What was your first clue? Could it have been that time he appeared from a smokey mist that billowed from a tree's trunk in the middle of a woods with werewolves? Is that what brought on this sudden spark of intuition? So thank you, thank you soooooo much for pointing that one out because I never would have been able to tell on my own!"
Deus Ex:
All right, I'll just put down this explosive crate and OH SHIT FORGOT TO DUCK FIRST
*BOOM*
Oh great, there go my legs again. No medkits....
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
All right, I'll just put down this explosive crate and OH SHIT FORGOT TO DUCK FIRST
*BOOM*
Oh great, there go my legs again. No medkits....
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
*crawl*
Test Drive Unlimited:
Whaddya' mean I have to pay for a DLC pack in order to buy a Lamborghini Murcielago Roadster? I can see it in clear as day sitting in the goddamn car dealership!
Half-Life:
God.
Damn.
JUMPING PUZZLES!
Doom:
I'm in the middle of hell itself and there are tons of normal human weapons, ammunition, and health packs lying all over the place. Strange, isn't it?
Whaddya' mean I have to pay for a DLC pack in order to buy a Lamborghini Murcielago Roadster? I can see it in clear as day sitting in the goddamn car dealership!
Half-Life:
God.
Damn.
JUMPING PUZZLES!
Doom:
I'm in the middle of hell itself and there are tons of normal human weapons, ammunition, and health packs lying all over the place. Strange, isn't it?
Fallout 3
Where the fuck is the ammunition?! If I have a gun, I WANT TO USE IT!!
World of Warcraft
I don't want to kill 12 Very Annoyed Zombies since the next quest has me kill 15 Extremely Aggrivated Zombies and I have to pass by the Extremely Aggrivateds to get to the Very Annoyeds!
Where the fuck is the ammunition?! If I have a gun, I WANT TO USE IT!!
World of Warcraft
I don't want to kill 12 Very Annoyed Zombies since the next quest has me kill 15 Extremely Aggrivated Zombies and I have to pass by the Extremely Aggrivateds to get to the Very Annoyeds!
