Poll: Am I too picky?

[Naheal]

I've been getting a little lonely of late and was starting to think that I have a tendency to aim a bit high. As a note, I'm normally asexual with a lean towards heteromantic.[footnote]What the fuck ever. Who cares about that[/footnote] I honestly couldn't care less about physical appearance in a partner, but there are a few things that are essentially a "must" for me, due to either attitude or profession.

-Must be intellectual in some manner or another.

Stupid isn't cute for me, it's irritating. That said, one of my favorite pastimes with someone is some form of philosophical, intellectual, or spiritual conversation.

-Must be tolerant of a my beliefs.

To me, this is a respect issue. I'm Gnostic Christian, which, in my experience, will throw up alarms to atheists because I believe in a higher power and will throw up alarms to a Christian because I'm a borderline heretic.

-Respect

Respect is mutual for me and is necessary to begin a relationship.

-Shared interests are nice, but unnecessary.

Ultimately, while I would enjoy doing what I enjoy with my partner, I would also enjoy being introduced to new things by my partner.

-Must enjoy travel.

I dream of seeing the world and plan to do so as an English Teacher overseas. Because of this, I can't be with someone who's unwilling to travel as well. I'm thinking that I'll have to find someone who shares my vocation.

So, what do you think escapists? Am I digging my own hole here?

Edit: Borked poll is borked.

 

[lacktheknack]

I'm Gnostic Christian, which, in my experience, will throw up alarms to atheists because I believe in a higher power and will throw up alarms to a Christian because I'm a borderline heretic.

I'm going to regret this, but... you're a what?

And no. That doesn't look too bad. You're looking for someone who isn't dumb, takes relationships seriously, and likes traveling. The only hang-up would be the beliefs (although I'm not sure what they entail).

 

[dex-dex]

It is not bad to have high standards but you need to know that your partner will have certain things to expect from you.
you need to be flexible with some things.

also if your not willing to bend then a call girl may be your best bet

 

[Naheal]

I'm Gnostic Christian, which, in my experience, will throw up alarms to atheists because I believe in a higher power and will throw up alarms to a Christian because I'm a borderline heretic.

I'm going to regret this, but... you're a what?

Gnostic Christian.

Specific sect of Christianity. [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/528.244043-An-overview-of-Gnosticism]

 

[TaboriHK]

Certain things like 'respectful' and 'tolerant' are givens in a healthy relationship and when they're actually singled out and stated, it makes me think that your concept of these is overly-aggressive. Case in point, I once dated a girl who said the same thing about respect, and literally ALL she ever talked about was how she was being disrespected all the time. And her tone was very clearly "how dare they disrespect me." You don't want to be that, believe me. Anyone who is legitimately interested in a relationship with you is going to be respectful assuming you aren't damaged beyond repair or they aren't completely nuts themselves. I'm personally somewhere between an atheist and having my own idea of what 'God' is or would be, and I wouldn't find your religious beliefs to be especially problematic unless they interfered with the natural swing of the relationship (read: sex).

If I'm being totally presumptuous here, I also think your tone betrays you as a little too serious in terms of how you are stating your desires. The list kind of reads like the demands of someone who has taken hostages, not all the way, but the wording is definitely tense. Consider that even smart people don't want to be 'on' all the time, so constantly conversing about philosophy or spirituality can become exhausting if it's the only type of conversation you're interested in having. A good way to put it I guess is that you are coming across as a closed person, and what will behoove your efforts to get into and then maintain a healthy relationship is to be more open, especially in regards to your own perspective and how limited it may be.

One last thing, shared interests are anything but unnecessary. If you are not interested in what they're doing or vice versa, you're signing a short contract.

 

[Co3x]

Not at all, you're 'requests' shall we say all seem perfectly acceptable. I share most of them, if anything I'm more picky. I have to say that I'm a bit of a bastard and looks do hold some sway, I'd love to say they don't, but they do. [sub]Not something I'm particularly proud of but I have no qualms with who I am.[/sub]

ANYWAY my point is that I've managed to have several girlfriends so you'll be fine ^_^ you just need to insert yourself into more social situations to meet new people etc.

snip

I dream of seeing the world and plan to do so as an English Teacher overseas. Because of this, I can't be with someone who's unwilling to travel as well. I'm thinking that I'll have to find someone who shares my vocation.

So, what do you think escapists? Am I digging my own hole here?

You don't need to find someone with the same vocation, that's not to say you won't, but you don't need to. You'll probably find that once you start travelling you'll meet someone who you hit it off with, but if you meet the right person before then they will come with you to share in your dream. If they don't then they aren't the right person.

At least that's how I see it, just don't lose faith in yourself ^_^

 

[Jamboxdotcom]

if you had said that you needed a supermodel in addition to what you listed, THEN i'd say you're being too picky. but without that criteria, i think you're being pretty reasonable. however, that's not to say that what you're looking for will be easy to find. good luck to you!

 

[Woodsey]

"-Must be tolerant of a my beliefs.

To me, this is a respect issue. I'm Gnostic Christian, which, in my experience, will throw up alarms to atheists because I believe in a higher power and will throw up alarms to a Christian because I'm a borderline heretic.

-Respect

Respect is mutual for me and is necessary to begin a relationship.

-Shared interests are nice, but unnecessary.

Ultimately, while I would enjoy doing what I enjoy with my partner, I would also enjoy being introduced to new things by my partner."

These 3 are basically a standard within a relationship, so specifying them seems odd to say the least.

 

[Broady Brio]

All seem reasonable to me cept the "Travel" bit.

That's because I'm not keen on traveling.

 

[Palademon]

You're being perfectly reasonable. There's not really such thing as being too picky, since it's your decision, and if people can't meet those qualities then they don't deserve you. I also respect that appearance isn't a factor for you. I personally enjoy intellectual conversation, and I can respect people of any religion aslong as they are open minded enough to not ultimately say "I'm right, and everyone else is wrong", and maybe if they don't mind that I sometimes poke fun unseriously.

 

[Naheal]

"-Must be tolerant of a my beliefs.

To me, this is a respect issue. I'm Gnostic Christian, which, in my experience, will throw up alarms to atheists because I believe in a higher power and will throw up alarms to a Christian because I'm a borderline heretic.

-Respect

Respect is mutual for me and is necessary to begin a relationship.

-Shared interests are nice, but unnecessary.

Ultimately, while I would enjoy doing what I enjoy with my partner, I would also enjoy being introduced to new things by my partner."

These 3 are basically a standard within a relationship, so specifying them seems odd to say the least.

The fact that I have to specify them should say something about my past relationships.

 

[Danzaivar]

You have a set of ideals for a partner, and say you're asexual in the same post. Riiight...

 

[Jacob Haggarty]

Umm just a heads up, i think your confused as to what asexual is... because the deffinition of asexual is two fold; having NO apparent sex or sexual organs, or breeding without intercourse (some simple bacteria and micro-organisms do it). I have a feeling you cant just opt in and out of that

 

[Naheal]

You have a set of ideals for a partner, and say you're asexual in the same post. Riiight...

Asexual: uninterested in sex.

Heteromatic: more interested in a partner to live life with than an actual family.

 

[Jacob Haggarty]

You have a set of ideals for a partner, and say you're asexual in the same post. Riiight...

Asexual: uninterested in sex.

Heteromatic: more interested in a partner to live life with than an actual family.

Woah not quite, absitinent i believe is the word of someone who doesn't think much about the act of sex.

If you mean you dont care what gender the person is, you mean bisexual... not asexual

 

[CloakedOne]

When looking for a mate, there should be some requirements that are negotiable, but I don't see anything on your list that suggests that you're being overly guarding of your beliefs. That seems like a fair list of requirements. As long as these things that you want are given to your partner just like you expect it of them, I don't think you're asking for too much.