Poll: Another Thread About Love...
- Thread starter JokerCrowe
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MAKE HER LOVE YOU!
dude, listen to me I know my way around girls and trust me this really works!
Spent quality time with her DON`T ASK HER OUT...yet, but just go talk to her, walk around with her, I don`t know use your imagination but just be eith her, you see?.
Also look at her constantly. If she looks back more than once or you find her looking at you...
You have her in your hands.
But most importantly DON`T LOOK DESPERATE!!!
Girls don`t you think this is a good idea?
dude, listen to me I know my way around girls and trust me this really works!
Spent quality time with her DON`T ASK HER OUT...yet, but just go talk to her, walk around with her, I don`t know use your imagination but just be eith her, you see?.
Also look at her constantly. If she looks back more than once or you find her looking at you...
You have her in your hands.
But most importantly DON`T LOOK DESPERATE!!!
Girls don`t you think this is a good idea?
Ask to accompany her swimming?
She swims, you can socialise with her and you get to see her as nude as possible without being slapped.
She swims, you can socialise with her and you get to see her as nude as possible without being slapped.
Seriously: Go for it!
Like someone else already said: regret is a harder thing to deal with then rejection.
(At least to me it is)
If I think about all the chances I missed with girls. Having them snatched away by a colleague or even a friend to later find out that they were initially atracted to me.
But since I never made a move, or vocalized my interest......................
*Cringes at the memories*
Like someone else already said: regret is a harder thing to deal with then rejection.
(At least to me it is)
If I think about all the chances I missed with girls. Having them snatched away by a colleague or even a friend to later find out that they were initially atracted to me.
But since I never made a move, or vocalized my interest......................
*Cringes at the memories*
The options on the poll are completely useless and will not get you anywhere. If you want her, ask her out. Don't say you love her, just ask if she wants to go catch a movie or get dinner or something. This at least has the possibility of success.Phenom828 said:
Take slow, yet measured steps. Ask her out, but keep it casual like a film or something. You should be better able to guage how she feels even on a semi-date. If not than just tell her anyway, what have you got to lose?
Employ subtlety. Drop hints, carefully push forward. Drop some ambiguous statements like "Ah man, I just love hanging out with you" or stuff like that but be CASUAL about it.
And see how she reacts to that. Get less ambiguous as you move on.
Social hints are communication just like everything else, you can "ask for clarification" as well so to speak, you just have to be subtle about it.
Get into long talks as well. If those don't work, forget it, you're either not meant to be or in serious need of practice.
And see how she reacts to that. Get less ambiguous as you move on.
Social hints are communication just like everything else, you can "ask for clarification" as well so to speak, you just have to be subtle about it.
Get into long talks as well. If those don't work, forget it, you're either not meant to be or in serious need of practice.
Given that what you're telling him to do would be found in the dating textbook under "Fastest Tracks to the Friend Zone," I'm going to posit two things:KiLl_RoY said:
1) That while many girls will indeed say it's a good idea (particular on here), their history with people who do this has been almost entirely non-romantic.
2) That guys who actually go out and get girls with any real frequency would disagree very strongly with those girls - and that these guys are the ones to listen to, because the girls in question are not (generally) going out and picking other girls up.
I said the last thing, not out of spite of you, even though I think you're going about this the wrong way by focusing on 'Love' instead of 'dating, being with them, then agreeing that you love each other.' There are two reasons for this.
First, imagine that you have this amazing girl. Imagine that you go shopping with her. Now imagine that every guy you encounter stares and flirts with her right in front of you (that will happen). Now I know that you'd probably be confident in thinking that you and her are tight, but if you encounter one dude who flirts with her who makes you feel less confident about yourself, then you'll naturally become a little bit paranoid, self conscious, unsure about her activities, and all in all you'll become one of those asshole boyfriends that she's dated in the past. Ask yourself, why is she single now?
Second, I'm sure you've seen 'A Beautiful Mind,' imagine the theorem the main guy thinks of with the very sexy girl walking into a bar with a few other attractive girls around her. Every guy will be going after the very sexy girl, naturally ignoring her friends. If you try to flirt with one of the friends after being rejected by the very sexy girl, you'll be shot down again. Instead, go after the attractive girl who might feel insignificant compared to the very sexy girl but will get an ego boost when you flirt with her.
I am confident that you'll make a good decision, but I wouldn't waste a last meal on steak if it means I eat burgers for a year.
First, imagine that you have this amazing girl. Imagine that you go shopping with her. Now imagine that every guy you encounter stares and flirts with her right in front of you (that will happen). Now I know that you'd probably be confident in thinking that you and her are tight, but if you encounter one dude who flirts with her who makes you feel less confident about yourself, then you'll naturally become a little bit paranoid, self conscious, unsure about her activities, and all in all you'll become one of those asshole boyfriends that she's dated in the past. Ask yourself, why is she single now?
Second, I'm sure you've seen 'A Beautiful Mind,' imagine the theorem the main guy thinks of with the very sexy girl walking into a bar with a few other attractive girls around her. Every guy will be going after the very sexy girl, naturally ignoring her friends. If you try to flirt with one of the friends after being rejected by the very sexy girl, you'll be shot down again. Instead, go after the attractive girl who might feel insignificant compared to the very sexy girl but will get an ego boost when you flirt with her.
I am confident that you'll make a good decision, but I wouldn't waste a last meal on steak if it means I eat burgers for a year.
DON'T wait around, GO and ask her out! She may be thinking of you right now. Why are we still discussing this?! Go dude! Go! GO!
Ask her out. Say though your worried about loosing her as a friend so would rather stay as friends about all else and that if you did go out you would both still have the option of returning to friends and that you'd take it slow as not to rush and ruin things.
Worked for me, kind of until I realise we had nothing in common. But makes things easier when the option to return to friends is there
Worked for me, kind of until I realise we had nothing in common. But makes things easier when the option to return to friends is there
Yeah ask all the nerds who have extremeley to much free time on their hands about relationships ( including me lol ) Seriously though i would just ask her to the small things like for lunch or something like that. And when you do just act cool just like you want to be friends ( even though you don't ) and slowly ease your way to the good part.
Let me say this. Fuck the consequences, I can't live with letting something like that just passing me by and not try.
I'm assuming you are the same way.
I'm assuming you are the same way.
Gameplaying... wow, that's quaint. You're what? Not even seventeen yet? And you 'know your way around girls'? Really? Wow. May I ask exactly how many successful relationships you've had at this point in your life? Not trying to be a dick here, but perhaps you shouldn't be trying to portray yourself as an expert on dating just yet. Sounds like you're making a good start, however.KiLl_RoY said:
What do I think you should do? Hm. I would like to think that I know a bit about women. What with me being almost forty years old, and married to a woman who is a) hot, b) intelligent, and c) a gamer. But still, I would never assume that I know everything. So here is the benefit of my experience, and you may use or discard what I say as you see fit:Phenom828 said:
1) you are fortunate in that she is not currently attached to anyone. That is usually the biggest obstacle.
2) Worth consideration: you work with her. You must always consider what would happen to your workplace environment if you got into a relationship with a coworker and things went wayyyy sour. But since you're young, I'm going to make the guess that you're not looking at making a career out of being a swimming instructor, so it's not a huge deal. But still, consider that there might be a few awkward moments between you and her if things don't work out.
3) Don't try to estimate if she is 'attracted' to you based upon how she interacts with you. I have found that the women who are blatantly ga-ga over a guy are not only a rare occurance, they also tend to have... issues. (Do the words "Bunny Boiler" mean anything to you? Or are you too young to have seen 'Fatal Attraction'?) Women are generally more restrained than men. If she interacts with you normally, that means that she doesn't abhor you, so you're good to go. No promises, but it at least means she isn't going to be revolted by the mere suggestion of going out with you socially.
4) as for what you should do: just fucking ask her out, man. It's not a big deal. If you've interacted with her at all, you should know what she likes to do for fun, and you should be able to suggest something that she will find entertaining. Dinner plus a movie is a good fallback if you really are drawing a complete blank in regards to what she might like to do, but it is rather trite. (My first date with my wife was paintball, because I noticed she mentioned it a couple of times when we were hanging out with our mutual friends.) It's good to try to figure out what she is interested in, because ultimately if you demonstrate that you've paid attention to what she's said by suggesting doing something she likes, it really earns you a lot of good will. (Just like anyone, women really like it when you prove that you've paid attention to things they've said.)
If she says she's not interested, then guess what? I know it hurts, but you've lost nothing. No complex machinations on your part would've changed that outcome.
But please, don't buy into the cheesy Hollywood scenario and go immediately tell her that you love her. She will look at you like a third eye just sprouted on your forehead, and she'd be right. You simply don't know her well enough yet to say that you could have deep and enduring feelings for her. Right now, you only know that there is an attraction there, and that it might lead to something greater. So don't go overboard just yet.
But if you TL;DR'd this, the one takeaway is: get your courage up and just ask her out. The worst outcome is that she'll say 'no', and she won't think less of you for it, and you won't have to carry around the burden of not knowing if there could've been something there...
OK dude here is the deal. Either she is into you or she isn't and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Forget the whole hollywood fantasy of the lame dude winning a girl over, shit don't work like that.
Your job is to find out whether or not she is into you. She will never directly tell you because women are conditioned from early childhood as well as thousands of years of evolution not to be direct or take responsibility for anything.
Starting a new relationship is like playing a poker hand. You don't show your cards until the chips are on the table and the betting is done. Don't lie to her but don't go blabbing every stupid thing that goes through your head. If she asks directly give her a direct answer, if she doesn't ask don't overshare. In fact the less you talk the better.
Here is how you find out whether she is hot to overpopulate the earth with your children or she thinks you are a creepy dude you stares at her when you think she isn't looking.
Step 1: Ask for phone number.
Note 1: The correct way to ask is to say "What is your phone number?" Then shut up and watch her reaction.
Positive response: digits.
Negative response: anything other than digits. "My phone is in the shop." "Why do you want it?" or the worst "Why don't you give me your number and I'll call you."
Possible dialog options: If she says "Why do you want it?" Reply something like "Because dialing randomly until I reached your phone would take too long." or "Because I have a side job at the phone company and I'm running a test on your phone line." Whatever. If you get digits at that point then its fine.
If you don't get digits after you ask then she isn't into you, forget about her.
Step 2: After waiting 3-5 days (some say 5-7 but its your choice) call and ask her out for a specific date and time.
Note 1: Do not ask her out for friday or saturday night, that implies you have no life.
Note 2: Do not ask her to go to a movie, that is for 4th date+. You can't talk to each other in a movie.
Note 3: Do not get all creative here, just out to dinner at a medium fanciness restaurant is fine.
Note 4: The correct way to ask her out it to call her number, wait for her to pick up, say hi, confirm it is her, tell her its you, then ask her out. "I would like to take you to dinner Thursday night." Then shut up and listen for her response.
Positive response: "Yes" or "I would like that" or other agreement.
Alternate Positive response: I can't make it how about ? (counter offer)
I wouldn't immediately accept but your call. Tell her you will check if you are free that on and tell her you will call back. Then if you are feeling really bold tell her you can't make it that on her first offer. If she makes a second counter then it is pretty safe to accept that, again not immediately.
Negative response: Anything except agreement or a counter offer.
If she makes an excuse then tell her "thats too bad" and lose her phone number.
Don't ask her out three times or whatever the lame advice columns give. Imagine the opposite situation where you were single and a hot girl called and asked you out. Wouldn't you clear your schedule no matter what you originally had on the plate?
Good luck soldier. If you need help PM me and I'll tell you the rules for the first date.
Your job is to find out whether or not she is into you. She will never directly tell you because women are conditioned from early childhood as well as thousands of years of evolution not to be direct or take responsibility for anything.
Starting a new relationship is like playing a poker hand. You don't show your cards until the chips are on the table and the betting is done. Don't lie to her but don't go blabbing every stupid thing that goes through your head. If she asks directly give her a direct answer, if she doesn't ask don't overshare. In fact the less you talk the better.
Here is how you find out whether she is hot to overpopulate the earth with your children or she thinks you are a creepy dude you stares at her when you think she isn't looking.
Step 1: Ask for phone number.
Note 1: The correct way to ask is to say "What is your phone number?" Then shut up and watch her reaction.
Positive response: digits.
Negative response: anything other than digits. "My phone is in the shop." "Why do you want it?" or the worst "Why don't you give me your number and I'll call you."
Possible dialog options: If she says "Why do you want it?" Reply something like "Because dialing randomly until I reached your phone would take too long." or "Because I have a side job at the phone company and I'm running a test on your phone line." Whatever. If you get digits at that point then its fine.
If you don't get digits after you ask then she isn't into you, forget about her.
Step 2: After waiting 3-5 days (some say 5-7 but its your choice) call and ask her out for a specific date and time.
Note 1: Do not ask her out for friday or saturday night, that implies you have no life.
Note 2: Do not ask her to go to a movie, that is for 4th date+. You can't talk to each other in a movie.
Note 3: Do not get all creative here, just out to dinner at a medium fanciness restaurant is fine.
Note 4: The correct way to ask her out it to call her number, wait for her to pick up, say hi, confirm it is her, tell her its you, then ask her out. "I would like to take you to dinner Thursday night." Then shut up and listen for her response.
Positive response: "Yes" or "I would like that" or other agreement.
Alternate Positive response: I can't make it how about ? (counter offer)
I wouldn't immediately accept but your call. Tell her you will check if you are free that on and tell her you will call back. Then if you are feeling really bold tell her you can't make it that on her first offer. If she makes a second counter then it is pretty safe to accept that, again not immediately.
Negative response: Anything except agreement or a counter offer.
If she makes an excuse then tell her "thats too bad" and lose her phone number.
Don't ask her out three times or whatever the lame advice columns give. Imagine the opposite situation where you were single and a hot girl called and asked you out. Wouldn't you clear your schedule no matter what you originally had on the plate?
Good luck soldier. If you need help PM me and I'll tell you the rules for the first date.
Talk to her. Don't go crazy about it, but be clear that you care (which you clearly do if you're thinking about her situation as you are). DO NOT go into it with the friend approach. All that will get you is being a friend. You may end up as a friend while she sorts things out in her complicated life, and you don't need to put a time limit on this (especially if you really are interested), but that's actually a good thing as long as she knows you are interested in a relationship with her. It's sort of like proving you're a supportive and non pressuring boyfriend even if she doesn't want to call you that yet.
Short version: Let her know you like her and just what you like about her, just keep it from sounding like a crazy stalker. And.. DO NOT go for the friend zone and expect to get more out of it than being a friend.
Short version: Let her know you like her and just what you like about her, just keep it from sounding like a crazy stalker. And.. DO NOT go for the friend zone and expect to get more out of it than being a friend.