Poll: Any Romantics out there?

[HSIAMetalKing]

Ugh, "Romantics" make me want to kill myself. Especially "High School Romantics"-- bunch of starry-eyed douchebags... writing poetry and all that bullshit. I just want to scream at them, "You're going to dump that ***** by the end of Senior year!" GOD.

So, to answer your question... no, I'm not a romantic. "Love" to me is just friendship with sex added to the mix. Friendships seldom last forever. Sex is always awesome.

 

[theklng]

i'd like to say thanks to those people in this thread who have made me aware of my possibilities of going into coaching for these sorts of things.

for those of you with confidence issues, one way or another; let me just put it quickly: overcome your fear. you have a fear of talking with someone, then practice it until it goes away. i too started with introversion and mumbling. now i'm dealing with other problems, such as too many women. i actually wish this was exaggerated, but i've recently had the dubious pleasure of having a choice between two women. so, what happened? i sat down and addressed the issue, how my confidence was pretty much non-existant and how i could help this. the root of the problem? myself; or rather, the lack of myself in "me".

the one person that will always stick with you is yourself. you need more self appreciation to get more self esteem. you need to be able to not just back down and away, but deal with what you're presented with. do things for yourself and not for others. nobody cares what everyone else thinks. shrug off their judgment. they have forgotten about it within a few minutes time, and so should you.

define yourself as an individual, not as a nobody or an object. show yourself that you have enough balls to handle anything coming your way. when you've accomplished this, people will notice a difference; but more importantly: so will you when you speak with them.

 

[Khedive Rex]

Me? A Romantic? What an absurd hypothesis.

You'll forgive me, but I find the entire gamut of ways that humans interact with each other backwards and alienating. You people are a weird and self-defeating hoard.

This is the Escapist though so I suppose I do have to provide evidence for my assertions.

Spoiler: Evidence

Firstly, men and women do not understand each other. Honestly you all aren't that different or even that complicated but on a basic level you really refuse to relate. Besides not understanding each other though, on balance you don't even seem to like each other that much. Read through this thread (or one of the many before it) if you want evidence of this. All the men seem to personify women as alien creatures who delight in tormenting poor lovestruck men while demanding superior unfair treatment. Women seem to personify men as bloody stupid infants who can't be bothered to consider the emotional needs of their partner for thirty seconds if theres anything in a twenty mile radius they can fuck.

Amazingly though, all of this resentment is thrown to the wayside the same second two people decide to rub lips. Suddenly their partner is supposed to exemplify perfection or, if not, they are at least expected to slide all their undesirable qualities under a hypothetical carpet and pretend they never existed. A person who, in essence, you still don't understand or empathise with particularly is supposed to become the "other half" of your life.

And then they're shocked and appauled when the tower of cards collapses? Can I humbly suggest that this collapse was inevitable from the start? That the fact people are happily willing to call their exes explitives to anyone who'll listen or (in extreme cases) actually go out of their way to physically or emotional harm them is evidence that they never actually cared for them and their wellbeing to begin with?

And yet, this sort of interaction happens on a daily basis between millions of young lovers. They all think it's meaningfull and they all are sure that their love is special seperate and entirely different from anyone elses, when in fact this kind of interaction is commonplace and benal.

This is a socially acceptable arrangment? Heck, this is a socially desirable arrangment?!

... You'll forgive me. I use to think I was a misanthrope but in reality I'm just far to apathetic for my own good. I look at everything for what it is and no one has been able to logically explain to me why human interaction makes sense (in general, though I've only covered romanticism and dating in this post). Don't get me wrong either, I've dated before and Thor knows I'll do it again. Theres only one reason to do it though and no point in pretending otherwise.

Dating gets you high.

Kissing the girl, holding her, feeling that connection; it's a rush. No drugs as good as the ones your body makes itself. Unfortunately, they make you just as stupid.

 

[MsDevin92]

I think I'm too odd to be considered an option in this poll...Sure, I'll get all gushy over romantic media like a love song or an old fairy tale, and there are people who I think are cute and have had crushes on, but I feel so awkward and out of place in a couple because however private it is, it's still a sort of social situation. And I suck at those. And because it's a social situation CROSSED with strong emotional feelings, I'm more likely to screw up and become all depressed.

So I sate myself by fangirling over couples in cartoons or staring at screenshots of arrtractive video game characters. >_> *shot*

 

[Hyzenthlay]

Haha..My boyfriends one of the awkward guys. I think that example conversation is almost an exact replica of our first conversation. If you get to know someone well it stops being a social situation and you don't need to think about what you say as you dont need to impress them...I used to be that awkward to.

 

[dalek sec]

I've given up on trying my luck at dating in general because to me the rewards don't even come close to risk's one has to take now a days. You might be able for a few days but in time like most things it'll go bad and turn to dust with enough time. The one main thing that drives me insane is that none of my friends or people I talk online with have been able to give me a real reason as to why I shouldn't give up about this stuff and why is it so important that I try it out or why I shouldn't just pack it up and become a shut in.

 

[mojojowjow2007]

i am a bit of a romantic but not an obsessive one cus thats just sickening. i think being romantic when appropriate is better than being a poetry reading, rose giving, dinner making fool 24/7. it would get boring very quickly

 

[Blayze]

I have no charisma whatsoever, a voice I find annoying (Seriously. When I hear myself over TS, I find myself cringing), a tendency to slur my words and mumber no matter how hard I try to speak clearly, no game -- "inner" or "outer" -- etc, as well as a lack of confidence (Apparently).

In short: The only way it seems I'd ever be able to date successfully would be to become a completely different person. I'm looking into the possibility of forced amnesia.

 

[dalek sec]

I have no charisma whatsoever, a voice I find annoying (Seriously. When I hear myself over TS, I find myself cringing), a tendency to slur my words and mumber no matter how hard I try to speak clearly, no game -- "inner" or "outer" -- etc, as well as a lack of confidence (Apparently).

In short: The only way it seems I'd ever be able to date successfully would be to become a completely different person. I'm looking into the possibility of forced amnesia.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has problems like this in real life. I feel your pain my friend.

 

[theklng]

Me? A Romantic? What an absurd hypothesis.

You'll forgive me, but I find the entire gamut of ways that humans interact with each other backwards and alienating. You people are a weird and self-defeating hoard.

This is the Escapist though so I suppose I do have to provide evidence for my assertions.

Spoiler: Evidence

Firstly, men and women do not understand each other. Honestly you all aren't that different or even that complicated but on a basic level you really refuse to relate. Besides not understanding each other though, on balance you don't even seem to like each other that much. Read through this thread (or one of the many before it) if you want evidence of this. All the men seem to personify women as alien creatures who delight in tormenting poor lovestruck men while demanding superior unfair treatment. Women seem to personify men as bloody stupid infants who can't be bothered to consider the emotional needs of their partner for thirty seconds if theres anything in a twenty mile radius they can fuck.

Amazingly though, all of this resentment is thrown to the wayside the same second two people decide to rub lips. Suddenly their partner is supposed to exemplify perfection or, if not, they are at least expected to slide all their undesirable qualities under a hypothetical carpet and pretend they never existed. A person who, in essence, you still don't understand or empathise with particularly is supposed to become the "other half" of your life.

And then they're shocked and appauled when the tower of cards collapses? Can I humbly suggest that this collapse was inevitable from the start? That the fact people are happily willing to call their exes explitives to anyone who'll listen or (in extreme cases) actually go out of their way to physically or emotional harm them is evidence that they never actually cared for them and their wellbeing to begin with?

And yet, this sort of interaction happens on a daily basis between millions of young lovers. They all think it's meaningfull and they all are sure that their love is special seperate and entirely different from anyone elses, when in fact this kind of interaction is commonplace and benal.

This is a socially acceptable arrangment? Heck, this is a socially desirable arrangment?!

... You'll forgive me. I use to think I was a misanthrope but in reality I'm just far to apathetic for my own good. I look at everything for what it is and no one has been able to logically explain to me why human interaction makes sense (in general, though I've only covered romanticism and dating in this post). Don't get me wrong either, I've dated before and Thor knows I'll do it again. Theres only one reason to do it though and no point in pretending otherwise.

Dating gets you high.

Kissing the girl, holding her, feeling that connection; it's a rush. No drugs as good as the ones your body makes itself. Unfortunately, they make you just as stupid.

good sir, i believe you have found the most effecient way of posting on a forum, ever. catering both to those who don't want to read and those who want to read. i congratulate you on finding this perfect syntax, although it does in the end mean nothing.

to the rest of your point: i agree. feelings and instinct do not belong in this world per se. the universe does not care about you, so why should you care about it?

however, other people view it differently. there are distinct personalities that assume positions of thinking versus feeling, and these will always conflict with each other. your perspective is of the thinking perspective, whereas a feeling person will say that the feelings are a vital experience.

i'd go into depth with this, but considering the broad range of this psychological topic, it would take me a day or more to write a proper essay upon the subject. and time is a luxury i can't afford to waste too much off in the current state of my life.

 

[JMeganSnow]

So let me get this straight. You think that I should, on a usual basis, hold the door open for you and be sensitive to the fact that you are a woman when talking to you in the office, and that you think I should go out of my way to treat you better (like, say, not cussing with) than just a guy I share a cubicle with, but then when it comes promotion time you and I should be equal, although the only thing you've done to reciprocate me going out of my way is a smile here and there.
Do you see the double standard yet?

And I am so confused by your second paragraph. When did personal economics become a job as a firefighter?

So not cussing and opening the occasional door consists of "going out of your way" and somehow makes you a worthier human being, but a woman taking time out of *her* day to express appreciation *doesn't*? Do you see the double standard THERE?

Idiot. No wonder you're having such a tough time comprehending my firefighter analogy. One of the areas where women of the feminist type complain most stringently about "discrimination" against women is in tough physical jobs where most women just aren't up to the work. (The women who CAN do the work generally aren't interested in it.) So instead of accepting that there are always going to be a lot more male firefighters, they demand that women be held to lower standards than men in hiring practices until "parity" is achieved.

How this is going to help someone trapped inside a burning building I do not know, but a woman will Have A Job and apparently that's all that matters to feminists. Since most personal economics consist of having a job, the analogy is pretty damn apt.

 

[lSHaDoW-FoXl]

Gay. Just came out year ago. By far? Hopeless =(.

 

[jockslap]

Gay. Just came out year ago. By far? Hopeless =(.

aint no problem with that dude, u don't have to be straight to be romantic, but i think you already know that.

 

[Syphonz]

I too am a hopeless romantic. A girl being hot is just a bonus really.

 

[Jharry5]

What I care about is being the everything for someone, and knowing that they can mean everything to me. I want to listen to her problems, and just hold her til she feels better. God I'm alone....

Not really... that's me in a nutshell too. I'm just too damned shy to do much about it.
:\

 

[jockslap]

I've given up on trying my luck at dating in general because to me the rewards don't even come close to risk's one has to take now a days. You might be able for a few days but in time like most things it'll go bad and turn to dust with enough time. The one main thing that drives me insane is that none of my friends or people I talk online with have been able to give me a real reason as to why I shouldn't give up about this stuff and why is it so important that I try it out or why I shouldn't just pack it up and become a shut in.

maybe i can't give u a reason why u should but maybe ill just run this by you

perhaps love doesn't have to last forever, maybe if it's something that no matter how short u still wouldn't trade away that time for anything else in the world?
(i know the wording in there sucked hard, but i think i got my point across)

 

[Hunde Des Krieg]

I wish I was a non-corporeal being so I wouldn't have to care about reproduction, but as a mammal I find that I think about it quite often, and seeing that my love life is basically non-existent, those thoughts are very depressing. I would like to say I am romantic, but what is the point when you can't even ask a girl out on a date?

 

[foolishnun]

I'm a romantic!

To quote Rincewind; "Just because I'm bad at it doesn't change the fact that I am one"..

Pratchett, once again, chooses just the right words.

 

[Dramatic Flare]

So let me get this straight. You think that I should, on a usual basis, hold the door open for you and be sensitive to the fact that you are a woman when talking to you in the office, and that you think I should go out of my way to treat you better (like, say, not cussing with) than just a guy I share a cubicle with, but then when it comes promotion time you and I should be equal, although the only thing you've done to reciprocate me going out of my way is a smile here and there.
Do you see the double standard yet?

And I am so confused by your second paragraph. When did personal economics become a job as a firefighter?

So not cussing and opening the occasional door consists of "going out of your way" and somehow makes you a worthier human being, but a woman taking time out of *her* day to express appreciation *doesn't*? Do you see the double standard THERE?

Idiot. No wonder you're having such a tough time comprehending my firefighter analogy. One of the areas where women of the feminist type complain most stringently about "discrimination" against women is in tough physical jobs where most women just aren't up to the work. (The women who CAN do the work generally aren't interested in it.) So instead of accepting that there are always going to be a lot more male firefighters, they demand that women be held to lower standards than men in hiring practices until "parity" is achieved.

How this is going to help someone trapped inside a burning building I do not know, but a woman will Have A Job and apparently that's all that matters to feminists. Since most personal economics consist of having a job, the analogy is pretty damn apt.

No, my double standard analogy does not make me a worthier human being. But frankly, no, smiling at me just because I was polite is not equal, especially considering that you are already expected to smile and as I'm holding the door for you, I am smiling myself. What, you think I'm going to hold the door for you and scowl as your walk past?
Let me try this with out incurring a flame war, since that's what I'm trying to not do.
If I, as a human being, make space for another, different type of human being, on a regular basis, but it is not expected that this other human being do anything notable to make space for myself as a human being, but then this other human being also expects that when the time comes, they will be held on the same pane as myself, even though I am put under more constraints as to what I should do than this other human being is. They expect that the only manner by which they are judged is by work, and certainly if they work harder for it then they deserve the promotion/pay raise/whatever, but if we are equal in our outputs, and I am the one going out and doing extra to accommodate other human beings while not being compensated by any sort of politeness nor expecting any compensation in return, then no, I don't feel like there is an equality there.
If one worker has a partner who is mentally disabled, and the worker has to constantly aid the second one in movement although the second person is good at his job, then the first one is doing more and should be regarded in a more favorable light.
If one worker is consistently polite to the other worker, follows an explicit set of rules that the other one is not really bound by, and they both do well at their job, then they can not be judged on the same level because they do not operate on the same level.

Does that make a little more sense?
Does it show the double standard or expecting, and then expecting again rather than giving?
Certainly some males do this too, but I'm going to guess these are the minority.

And as far as your Fireman's analogy goes, I agree with you. It's the same reason women are kept out of combat infantry in the armies. They just can't push themselves as far or as fast as men can. I'd almost argue that women should be kept to more desk-type jobs in police departments too, except I know one and I'm fairly certain she could kick my ass from here to Helsinki and not break a sweat.