Poll: Are you a "top" or a "bottom"? Why?

[AdeptaSororitas]

No folks, this isn't another T v. A line up, this is actually getting to the heart of intimate relationships and why we find it easier to submit to a stronger presence or BE the larger presence. Now I'll be the first to say that things aren't always black and white in this regard, but for many it is. And its also not about simple physical positioning, moreso, its about whether you're the dominant, or the submissive partner in most relationships.

And this wouldn't be an interesting question if not for the why factor, for, as Sun Tzu says: "It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle." Now I know no one is fighting anyone else (typically), but it still helps.

Personally I find myself mostly dominant regardless of my mate's gender ^.~ The Adepta Sororitas always strikes first.

P.S. For those who don't know, a switch frequently changes between both Top and Bottom.

 

[AdeptaSororitas]

How about the answer for people like me: I'm neither, because I have never been and will never be in a romantic relationship? Not all of us are blessed with good looks and nice personalities.

Yuh now what? That's a fair point. I'm sorry.

 

[2xDouble]

I tend to adapt to the situation. I also like a girl who can give as good as she takes (emotionally, jeez... perverts). Finding such a person is shockingly rare.

 

[Stasisesque]

How about the answer for people like me: I'm neither, because I have never been and will never be in a romantic relationship? Not all of us are blessed with good looks and nice personalities.

The way you portray yourself, at least from your posts here, suggests quite a dominating personality, almost imposing. I would say male top. So what if you've never been in a romantic relationship? You can almost always guess at what role you would take by what makes you most uncomfortable.

 

[War Penguin]

Uh... I'm a bit inexperienced in such... activities. But if I were to engage in those... actions, I'd think I'd let her take control. She knows her body better than I do, and really, if I was in such a... situation, my goal would be to make sure she's in... full enjoyment, rather than myself.

 

[Dags90]

I tend to adapt to the situation. I also like a girl who can give as good as she takes. Finding such a person is shockingly rare.

Sadly, I don't think most women have even heard of pegging.

I think it's a mistake to say that sexual relationships necessarily operate on domination or submission. Even more of a mistake to say that one's sexual proclivities can't be compartmentalized to only being sexual.

 

[Aris Khandr]

Switch, mostly by necessity. A few people I know just love being controlled, so I do my best to make them happy. But at heart, I really just want someone to pamper me.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

I'm a male bottom because... well, being the top never held much interest for me. Plus I really enjoy being the bottom, it's awesome!

 

[mandaforever]

Switch, mostly by necessity. A few people I know just love being controlled, so I do my best to make them happy. But at heart, I really just want someone to pamper me.

same, I just want ot be showered with attention and such, but sometimes I switch it up cause I like to make my partner happy.

 

[SckizoBoy]

The Adepta Sororitas always strikes first.

You only have Initiative 3 (or 4 for characters), we have Initiative 5 or 6 (Eldar), oh I'm sorry, I can't hear you through the sound of me bitchslapping you!! =P

OT: It mostly depends on context and what mental state I'm in. I'm definitely a bottom as far as romantic relationships are concerned, though with my one 'special' relationship, it was a weird struggle for each of us to be the more submissive. In some social situations, I will be a 'top', I'm noted for having a very loud authoritative voice which is weird since I'm normally soft spoken. And regarding sex, I'm whatever is wished of me.

 

[Shemming]

Male bottom...

Im just like that, kind of masochistic to, so might be why. well from like my personality, ive never tried. But genrally its nicer to be controled.

 

[FamoFunk]

Switch. I like things to be pretty even, whether at the same time or each person taking in turns, so to speak.

 

[rebus_forever]

we really discussing BDSM "top" and "bottom" or just a normal inclination within a normal sexual relationship?

 

[Smooth Operator]

You haveto switch it up, don't get lazy, just because your hand got a rest for once doesn't mean there is nothing else to do.

 

[The Funslinger]

I'm a male bottom because... well, being the top never held much interest for me. Plus I really enjoy being the bottom, it's awesome!

I'm not gay, but I have a similar point of view on this topic. That said, I don't mind being on top of it's what she wants.

If this topic is about emotional dominance, or submission as some think it is, I see it more as a partnership. In a truly happy relationship, I find nobody should be differing to the other like some kind of doormat. Unless you're a masochist or some such thing...

 

[Stasisesque]

I tend to adapt to the situation. I also like a girl who can give as good as she takes. Finding such a person is shockingly rare.

Sadly, I don't think most women have even heard of pegging.

They may not know the term, but I assure you, most women have certainly heard of the act.

 

[AdeptaSororitas]

we really discussing BDSM "top" and "bottom" or just a normal inclination within a normal sexual relationship?

Whichever you're most inclined towards. Obviously not everyone is into BDSM so I like to keep it broad since the same basic theory pervades through both.

 

[Viral_Lola]

I'm a rather naughty girl and I like to dominate and be dominated.

 

[Angerwing]

Male top. I tend to be a very psychologically dominant person, no matter the relationship.