Poll: Asking for a kiss on your birthday.

[The Virgo]

Your birthday is next week? Hello, fellow Virgo and happy early birthday!

OT: Yeah, you could give it a try. Although, I must ask, without going into detail, define "complicated". If the relationship is complicated, why would you want a kiss from her? What you have to ask yourself is: Is it worth getting a kiss from her? Or should I wait until another girl comes into my life to try the kiss thing? (Remember, at Christmas time there mistletoe. There's plenty of time to find a better mate female friend that the one you are currently talking about between now and then.)

If she says yes and you kiss and the relationship becomes stronger, do you want to be in a serious commitment to her?

I mean, if you want to ask her go ahead ... as they say, "nothing ventured, nothing gained" ... just set your hopes accordingly and look at everything that can go right or wrong.

 

[Son of a Mitch]

I say just man up, drop the 'ask for a kiss' thing, and ask her out. If she says no, then accept it and move on, but try to still be friends. If she says yes, then good job.

The 'kiss as a gift' thing will just make you seem desperate if she says no, and will probably just guilt her into it if she says yes, just because it's your birthday and wants to make you happy. After that, it's just a one sided relationship that will end HORRIBLY for everyone involved (I would know).

To date, I have asked out 4 female friends of mine. The most recent 3 I was strait-forward with them and asked out. All of them said no, so I got over it and moved on. I'm still friends with the 3 women. The other one, however, was completely one-sided and dragged out. End result: 1.5 years of drama, pissed off girl and her friends, bridges burnt, loss of self esteem, years of depression, haven't seen her for 4 years. And the two of us were just like how you're describing your situation.

Think about that for a bit.

 

[Embright]

Buy a bag of Hershey's Kisses. Stare her straight in the eyes and ask if she wants a kiss. If she says no then open the chocolate yourself and eat it in front of her. If she says yes then give her the piece of candy, this is to throw her the fuck off which is when you can plant one on her. A mouth to mouth one of course.

 

[Nouw]

If someone did that to me, I'd feel disgusted. But I'm not her am I?

 

[blank0000]

This is the internet my man, relationship advice is always going to be a little sketchy. Every situation is different


that being said...
If you have feelings for her then talk to her about it like an adult instead of trying to take advantage of her on your birthday. It seems manipulative to put her on the spot.

 

[blank0000]

Honestly, I'd be terribly pissed if anyone did this in seriousness. OP, its hard enough to deal with a friend being attracted to you when you don't feel the same way.

If she hasn't outright declared that she is interested in you, please don't make any assumptions. It can get creepy and uncomfortable when a friend with a crush pushes the issue, and it can ruin otherwise good friendships.

Heh, I've actually liked her longer than we've been friends.

While you may get mad, I seriously doubt she will. And I'm not going to be serous about it.

I'll probably just look at her with a grin and say, "how bout a kiss for the birthday boy"

sounds sort of creepy, depends on the friendship.


But really, if your this concerned about it then TALK TO HER INSTEAD OF US.

DO NOT develop awkward flirtatious plots and then run them by strangers on the internet. Treat the situation with respect, TREAT YOURSELF with respect and act like an adult.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Honestly, I'd be terribly pissed if anyone did this in seriousness. OP, its hard enough to deal with a friend being attracted to you when you don't feel the same way.

If she hasn't outright declared that she is interested in you, please don't make any assumptions. It can get creepy and uncomfortable when a friend with a crush pushes the issue, and it can ruin otherwise good friendships.

Isn't it best then to clear the air?
Either way this question goes their relationship will be alot better defined.

 

[scott91575]

Why are you wasting it on a girl who you know will probably turn you down? In college we used to run the scam where it was always someone's birthday (it rotated). It is a foolproof ice breaker, and in your case it will actually be true. Use it to meet some new women and forget about the "friend" you have clearly already wasted way too much time on already.

 

[viperthejedi]

You're getting old? What like 13?

 

[Mavinchious Maximus]

It could be quite a smooth one liner if the night goes well and you two have a mutual understanding that you like each other

Yeah this one never fails on the ladies...

"Im commander Shepard and YOUR my favorite site in the citadel"

 

[Sonic Doctor]

My birthday is next week and I'm getting old

Anyways, I'm going to be spending time with a female friend that knows I like her. What's between us is complicated and I'm not going to get into it here.

I'll just say that were pretty good friends, and I spent the day with her last week on what some people would call a date, but wasn't really.

I'm thinking about jokingly asking her for a kiss. I'm pretty sure she'll say no, but it's still worth a shot and I can play it off as being innocent yet still flirty.

Good idea, terrible idea?

Anybody done something like it before?

Edit: Added more detail

If you aren't going to be as old as I am now 25(a month and some days from 26), then you aren't getting old.

Even though I feel I'm getting old, by today's age ranges, I'm still a young whipper snapper.

I don't really have reliable info for you, since even with how old I am, I still haven't had my first kiss. It isn't because of the lack of trying to get dates and/or a girlfriend in the past, it is just I don't have luck with the ladies. I'm either too good of a friend(which is the biggest bull excuse around), or the girl is seeing somebody.

Now if it was me, and I had known the girl for a few months and went out on what you said could be called a date, then yeah, I would definitely ask for a kiss for my birthday. But really, I'm of the classic school of thought on relationships that the goodnight kiss is a big thing.

I don't know, if you did go out on what could be called a date: Where was the goodnight kiss? Or if it wasn't night when the two of your parted ways: Where was the good-day kiss?

But to end this, I guess I wouldn't recommend it. If you haven't had a proper on a date kiss, asking for a kiss on your birthday sounds really cheesy, kind of inappropriate, and will probably come off forceful, even if you don't intend it to be.

 

[Sonic Doctor]

Smelling a friendzone.

That's what it seems like to me. The OP did say he did go out on what could be called a date with her. From the way he sounds, he has never kissed her. Ends of dates are for just that, the end of date kiss. If it didn't get there with that so called date, then asking for a kiss for his birthday will probably screw things up.

I have been in that zone far too many times; it is really getting old.

 

[J_Monsterface]

i dont think any good kiss can be asked for

just wait for a good moment and kiss her, if she gets mad, laugh and say "its my birthday" and then dont do it again. actually thats not very good advice...

but if it doesnt feel right to do that, asking for it probably wont make things any better

acting "innocent" will not make a girl whose not attracted to you more comfortable with you romantically

and if your not already pretty sure she wants a kiss from you, chances are she doesnt

youre better off telling her how you feel and letting her react however she does, if she likes you, shell take the opportunity to say so, after which, kissing her would be a pretty safe bet

there is no such thing as playing hard to get, if you have to ask, youre probably missing some obvious signals, or at least not communicating very effectively

 

[Instant K4rma]

Step up and take a chance at it, man.

"You miss 100% of the shots to don't take." - Wayne Gretzky.

 

[scott91575]

Step up and take a chance at it, man.

"You miss 100% of the shots to don't take." - Wayne Gretzky.

"90% off all puts left short don't go in." - Yogi Berra

 

[Knusper]

Personally I wouldn't do it, but I'm a massive coward when it comes to girls and do you want to turn out like me?

You may as well give it a go. It sounds like you are good friends with her already.

 

[InsipidMadness]

You gotta' risk it to get the biscuit.