Poll: Bad parents are to blame: why?

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Ygfi

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Phoenix Arrow said:
xxhazyshadowsxx said:
People are bad parents, because they don't want to PARENT. You know, enforce guidelines and punish their children when they do something that goes against those guidelines. People are too worried about upsetting their children, because they want to be the "Best Friend." This is the closest video that I could find on the matter, even though it might not be spot on.
(Let me just go on the record by stating: I do not like Dr. Phil. If anything, just watch the introduction to this. Specifically the part where she states "I don't know how to stop her from actually doing it." Simple solution: No car, no phone, nobody dies. Easy.)
She should get an iPhone. Free MSN and Facebook. You'd save a bundle.
i'm sure her mummy would buy it for her if she didn't crash the car becuse her mummy didn't know how to stop her kid from texting. but you know, the unfortunate girl can't get it now can she? (what would i know? i'd rather the girl have driven off a bridge, not just the road)
and i-phones are over-rated, as with any i-[device]. however, i should really look around to see for myself.

also, 100th post on this thread; i think i've got enough input, even if i was contributing too much to my own thread.
 

Phoenix Arrow

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Ygfi said:
i'm sure her mummy would buy it for her if she didn't crash the car becuse her mummy didn't know how to stop her kid from texting. but you know, the unfortunate girl can't get it now can she? (what would i know? i'd rather the girl have driven off a bridge, not just the road)
and i-phones are over-rated, as with any i-[device]. however, i should really look around to see for myself.

also, 100th post on this thread; i think i've got enough input, even if i was contributing too much to my own thread.
I know. I was taking the piss. But iPhones are very nice, way too overpriced though.
I don't see how the mother could've done anything about it. I mean, if the kid is old enough to drive, she's old enough to work, buy her own phone and even move out. By say, taking away the daughters phone when she's driving, all she's doing is delaying the inevitable. Once the daughter moves out and has her own car, she'll be doing the same thing again. You live and learn from your mistakes in this world. I just feel sorry for the people in the car she's bound to hit into.
 

Daveman

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Jan 8, 2009
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Ygfi said:
Daveman said:
Ygfi said:
Daveman said:
Our states of minds are down to genetics and our past experiences. Our parents have no control over the first but they nevertheless cause it. They are also most in control of our past experiences as children, the time of greatest mental development. So I'd conclude that we are who we are because of our parents.
that's not what is supposed to be under discussion, though it is true.

how about we move on topic?
sorry, so are you just saying do we think societal change is responsible for parenting becoming worse? What if we think parenting isn't getting worse but the problems because of it are more highlighted in todays society? the topic isn't particularly clear to me.
the topic was the cause of parenting's demise. if you think otherwise, state what you think the cause of whatever is; if that makes sence.
ok, that makes sense, but I don't see what the poll has to do with that

as I said, I don't think parenting is any worse, it's just that as the population gets bigger we see a lot more people at the end of the bell curve and we have to remember that we don't hear about the 999 out of 1000 who do a great job
 

jboking

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Ygfi said:
jboking said:
Oh, and you may find this interesting: Truer words my friend... [http://xkcd.com/603/]
perhaps it's not the amount of kids, but things are getting worse.
i'm still at high school, though i'm not your average kid.
what i noticed was the sucsesive years getting worse and worse, not just because they were younger. i'm talking about seeing higher propertions of kids with anger management issues, kids with no respect and kids that have no responsability. when i was a year 8, we always used to cop our punishment 'cause we knew it would get worse if we didn't. now days i'm seeing year 8s literally run out of a class and punch shit up when they're gonna get in trouble; we never used to do that, ever. i'm not even talking about 1 off instances either.
At this point it is just getting redundant to say, "I disagree, here's why..." So lets just say I believe you too be wrong in your belief that things have gotten seriously worse and I will once again redirect you too the XKCD strip.
 

Therumancer

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Nov 28, 2007
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Ygfi said:
Therumancer said:
just to correct you on something, liberalism is not tied to the left or right. there are infact two political scales, the totalitariancapitalist.

moving on, i do have to agree with what you;re saying, it makes sence. i take it you're in england (time zone and situation you're talking about). these issues do seem like the sorts of things most governments don't have the balls to do anything about...


I'm from the US, East Coast though. Most of what I'm talking about is simple sociology and applies everywhere where those issues exist. The Baby Boom hit England just like the US, and women's sufferage causes universal issues when it's suddenly implemented that are again pretty much universal when suddenly implemented without foresight.

The US, England, and Australia are all very similar coming from the same parent culture (British Empire). It's just people like to focus on the differances as opposed to the similarities. To true outside observers we seem like more or less the same group for some good reasons. :p


In America our politics are rather messed up, and the left wing (Democrats) are a group of odd ducks who at the bottom of their party are "do whatever I want to do" liberals, and at the top of the party a group of "uber-powerful goverment that controls everything" totalitarians.

In a nutshell, American Democrats are people who run around wanting to buck the system and feel the best way to do this is to build a powerful federal goverment that will overrule the state and local goverments to let them do whatever they want to do in the short term. A sort of messed up logic of ensuring freedom by giving away freedom to a large central goverment.

The "street" Democrat stereotype (which is admittedly not 100% accurate) is an anarchist/hippy type guy who wants to do drugs and whatever the heck he wants without interferance. Peace, love and tolerance. Pretty much your true liberal/anarchist, hence the liberal association. At the top of the party you've got guys who pretty much want totalitarianism (or are totally naive) who do things like say "well if you give up your right to free speech, we the goverment can ensure that nobody will be able to freely express hatred of minorities".

The way I refer to "liberals" makes sense in context given that I'm a Republican and it is fairly accurate on a lot of levels.

It should be noted however that while relatively hard core Republican/Right Wing I'm also extremely critical of my own side. It's simply no middle ground that I truely agree with exists. Most "compromise" partys in between seem more insane than either "side".
i'm going to have to correct you on another thing; as you seem to he the impression that anarchy = chaos; this is quite the opposite. chaos is more or less a branch of capitalism in it's extreme (everyone can do what they want) and anarchy is in short, communism without a government as such. political parties are almost never what the name would suggest. our liberal/labour are pritty messed up, but at least our democrats held up to their name when they were around; and the greens are actually looking pritty green.
but lets get away from the politics, i don't want another 33 page thread.

apologies for thinking you were brittish, you can see my reasoning (and the brits have a really broken welfair system).
No problem, no reason to be offended by that. :)

As far as the rest goes, I believe you are incorrect. I learned things very differantly in Sociology.

Anarchy is the idea of no rules or society at all, complete personal freedom. This means of course the freedom to force other people to do whatever you want (and there is no law to stop you). Thus it leads to chaos and domination based totally on personal violent might. As soon as you impose any kind of order or control on people's behavior it is no longer Anarchy. Anarchy isn't a system bute more of a concept to apply other systems to.

Communism is the idea of communal property. Basically everything belongs to everyone, with no personal ownership, thus there is no wealth. Everyone donates to the society as a whole and supports the less fortunate members so there is no wealth or social order. This happens automatically and is sustained by the people themselves who all universally contribute to the ideal. This can work in VERY small communities but is generally not practical.

Socialism is basically the same thing as communism, and what Communism by nessecity turns into when practiced by anything but a very tiny group of people. Basically when dealing with large scale communism you see people wanting to contribute to the society only in whatever ways they personally want to. In the end everyone wants to be an artist, doctor, lawyer, or someone to be taken care of. Nobody wants to go out and work the assembly lines to produce the goods, raise and slaughter the animals, or do backbreaking farm labour to feed, clothe, and provide for all those people. Even thought interested in seriously contributing want to be leaders as opposed to workers, or enter into highly pretigious and skilled occupations like doctors and the like. Nobody wants to be a manual labourer yet they are always nessicary.

A good example of this is what happened with Russia. Basically there was a communist revolution and then everyone decided "Yay, we won. Now I can just kick back and be happy rather than busting my butt". This pretty much devestated Russia and proved by Lenin's ideals cannot work. It lead to Stalin imposing Socialism, and using draconian techniques (The Gulags) to put Russia to work. Socialism basically amounting to a central goverment that makes sure all the needed work is done, distributes the wealth and resources based on contribution, and other things. Very much a "human hive" mentality, and also it turns into massive corruption because of course those leading do the most important job so take the biggest cuts for themselves, and also have the authority to assign the best and most desired roles to their friends and families. Socialism basically being Communism with a goverment as opposed to assumed community participation.

Capitolism is simply the idea that people compete within a society and succeed based on their own abillities. Basically the people on top wind up being either the best that the society produces in whatever area your talking about, or having inherited wealth from someone else's success. "Best" in many cases can simply mean being more charismatic, or ruthless than the competition. Constant competition means that generally speaking the wealth and people at the top move around (or should if it works properly) as there is always a new group of sharks on the rise. Those who inherit money (like say a Paris Hilton) either wind up losing that money or becoming good enough (however they might seem) to hold onto it. In many cases being able to pick people you really can trust *IS* A pretty effective survival skill.


Capitolism and socialism are pretty much the opposed groups. Socialism being the opposite of capitolism because for all intents and purposes society puts you into a specific role, or gives you specific options based on what it needs. Your personal desires or capabilities may or may not become a factor. If say they need to expand farmland to feed a growing population they WILL produce more farmhands, they won't just wait and hope people decide to do the job, or let migrants come in from over the border or whatever. They might be "smooth" about it but in the end if that is the job they need, someone will be waiting to hand you your shovel when you enter the work force. In comparison in a capitolist system you go as far as you can based on your relative capabilities. This can in some cases also amount to people who are very talented being wasted if they happen to simply wind up competing in an area where there are those who are far better. In the end though you do tend to see a situation where the best people the society can produce are at the top, and the people at the bottom (as unhappy as they might be) tend to be the dregs.



That's the basics as I learned it (without getting political and talking about too many examples and exceptions... I simply make an exception for the USSR because while the attitudes seem to be returning on some levels, it effectively died. ).
 

Ygfi

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Daveman said:
Ygfi said:
Daveman said:
Ygfi said:
Daveman said:
Our states of minds are down to genetics and our past experiences. Our parents have no control over the first but they nevertheless cause it. They are also most in control of our past experiences as children, the time of greatest mental development. So I'd conclude that we are who we are because of our parents.
that's not what is supposed to be under discussion, though it is true.

how about we move on topic?
sorry, so are you just saying do we think societal change is responsible for parenting becoming worse? What if we think parenting isn't getting worse but the problems because of it are more highlighted in todays society? the topic isn't particularly clear to me.
the topic was the cause of parenting's demise. if you think otherwise, state what you think the cause of whatever is; if that makes sence.
ok, that makes sense, but I don't see what the poll has to do with that

as I said, I don't think parenting is any worse, it's just that as the population gets bigger we see a lot more people at the end of the bell curve and we have to remember that we don't hear about the 999 out of 1000 who do a great job
in my OP i think i said that the poll wasn't directly related to the topic. this was probly a bad idea, however, it did give an interesting result.
that could be it, i really havn't been around long enough to get an idea of the effect of population growth with my own eyes.
jboking said:
Ygfi said:
jboking said:
Oh, and you may find this interesting: Truer words my friend... [http://xkcd.com/603/]
perhaps it's not the amount of kids, but things are getting worse.
i'm still at high school, though i'm not your average kid.
what i noticed was the sucsesive years getting worse and worse, not just because they were younger. i'm talking about seeing higher propertions of kids with anger management issues, kids with no respect and kids that have no responsability. when i was a year 8, we always used to cop our punishment 'cause we knew it would get worse if we didn't. now days i'm seeing year 8s literally run out of a class and punch shit up when they're gonna get in trouble; we never used to do that, ever. i'm not even talking about 1 off instances either.
At this point it is just getting redundant to say, "I disagree, here's why..." So lets just say I believe you too be wrong in your belief that things have gotten seriously worse and I will once again redirect you too the XKCD strip.
even if the strip is somewhat true (it really doesn't matter) the tendency is for the "upper-class" kids to be the brats; the "lower-class" kids to be the angry/violent kids and i really don't know about "the middle" but i'm sure they've got a different problem (in aus, we really havn't split off into classes; the difference between upper and lower is how well you do in school, and with open access, there nothing holding you back but yourself).
basically, social decline can't be pinned town to a particular group of people, it's about the number of these kids.
 

Ygfi

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Jan 4, 2009
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Therumancer said:
Ygfi said:
Therumancer said:
just to correct you on something, liberalism is not tied to the left or right. there are infact two political scales, the totalitariancapitalist.

moving on, i do have to agree with what you;re saying, it makes sence. i take it you're in england (time zone and situation you're talking about). these issues do seem like the sorts of things most governments don't have the balls to do anything about...


I'm from the US, East Coast though. Most of what I'm talking about is simple sociology and applies everywhere where those issues exist. The Baby Boom hit England just like the US, and women's sufferage causes universal issues when it's suddenly implemented that are again pretty much universal when suddenly implemented without foresight.

The US, England, and Australia are all very similar coming from the same parent culture (British Empire). It's just people like to focus on the differances as opposed to the similarities. To true outside observers we seem like more or less the same group for some good reasons. :p


In America our politics are rather messed up, and the left wing (Democrats) are a group of odd ducks who at the bottom of their party are "do whatever I want to do" liberals, and at the top of the party a group of "uber-powerful goverment that controls everything" totalitarians.

In a nutshell, American Democrats are people who run around wanting to buck the system and feel the best way to do this is to build a powerful federal goverment that will overrule the state and local goverments to let them do whatever they want to do in the short term. A sort of messed up logic of ensuring freedom by giving away freedom to a large central goverment.

The "street" Democrat stereotype (which is admittedly not 100% accurate) is an anarchist/hippy type guy who wants to do drugs and whatever the heck he wants without interferance. Peace, love and tolerance. Pretty much your true liberal/anarchist, hence the liberal association. At the top of the party you've got guys who pretty much want totalitarianism (or are totally naive) who do things like say "well if you give up your right to free speech, we the goverment can ensure that nobody will be able to freely express hatred of minorities".

The way I refer to "liberals" makes sense in context given that I'm a Republican and it is fairly accurate on a lot of levels.

It should be noted however that while relatively hard core Republican/Right Wing I'm also extremely critical of my own side. It's simply no middle ground that I truely agree with exists. Most "compromise" partys in between seem more insane than either "side".
i'm going to have to correct you on another thing; as you seem to he the impression that anarchy = chaos; this is quite the opposite. chaos is more or less a branch of capitalism in it's extreme (everyone can do what they want) and anarchy is in short, communism without a government as such. political parties are almost never what the name would suggest. our liberal/labour are pritty messed up, but at least our democrats held up to their name when they were around; and the greens are actually looking pritty green.
but lets get away from the politics, i don't want another 33 page thread.

apologies for thinking you were brittish, you can see my reasoning (and the brits have a really broken welfair system).
No problem, no reason to be offended by that. :)

As far as the rest goes, I believe you are incorrect. I learned things very differantly in Sociology.

Anarchy is the idea of no rules or society at all, complete personal freedom. This means of course the freedom to force other people to do whatever you want (and there is no law to stop you). Thus it leads to chaos and domination based totally on personal violent might. As soon as you impose any kind of order or control on people's behavior it is no longer Anarchy. Anarchy isn't a system bute more of a concept to apply other systems to.

Communism is the idea of communal property. Basically everything belongs to everyone, with no personal ownership, thus there is no wealth. Everyone donates to the society as a whole and supports the less fortunate members so there is no wealth or social order. This happens automatically and is sustained by the people themselves who all universally contribute to the ideal. This can work in VERY small communities but is generally not practical.

Socialism is basically the same thing as communism, and what Communism by nessecity turns into when practiced by anything but a very tiny group of people. Basically when dealing with large scale communism you see people wanting to contribute to the society only in whatever ways they personally want to. In the end everyone wants to be an artist, doctor, lawyer, or someone to be taken care of. Nobody wants to go out and work the assembly lines to produce the goods, raise and slaughter the animals, or do backbreaking farm labour to feed, clothe, and provide for all those people. Even thought interested in seriously contributing want to be leaders as opposed to workers, or enter into highly pretigious and skilled occupations like doctors and the like. Nobody wants to be a manual labourer yet they are always nessicary.

A good example of this is what happened with Russia. Basically there was a communist revolution and then everyone decided "Yay, we won. Now I can just kick back and be happy rather than busting my butt". This pretty much devestated Russia and proved by Lenin's ideals cannot work. It lead to Stalin imposing Socialism, and using draconian techniques (The Gulags) to put Russia to work. Socialism basically amounting to a central goverment that makes sure all the needed work is done, distributes the wealth and resources based on contribution, and other things. Very much a "human hive" mentality, and also it turns into massive corruption because of course those leading do the most important job so take the biggest cuts for themselves, and also have the authority to assign the best and most desired roles to their friends and families. Socialism basically being Communism with a goverment as opposed to assumed community participation.

Capitolism is simply the idea that people compete within a society and succeed based on their own abillities. Basically the people on top wind up being either the best that the society produces in whatever area your talking about, or having inherited wealth from someone else's success. "Best" in many cases can simply mean being more charismatic, or ruthless than the competition. Constant competition means that generally speaking the wealth and people at the top move around (or should if it works properly) as there is always a new group of sharks on the rise. Those who inherit money (like say a Paris Hilton) either wind up losing that money or becoming good enough (however they might seem) to hold onto it. In many cases being able to pick people you really can trust *IS* A pretty effective survival skill.


Capitolism and socialism are pretty much the opposed groups. Socialism being the opposite of capitolism because for all intents and purposes society puts you into a specific role, or gives you specific options based on what it needs. Your personal desires or capabilities may or may not become a factor. If say they need to expand farmland to feed a growing population they WILL produce more farmhands, they won't just wait and hope people decide to do the job, or let migrants come in from over the border or whatever. They might be "smooth" about it but in the end if that is the job they need, someone will be waiting to hand you your shovel when you enter the work force. In comparison in a capitolist system you go as far as you can based on your relative capabilities. This can in some cases also amount to people who are very talented being wasted if they happen to simply wind up competing in an area where there are those who are far better. In the end though you do tend to see a situation where the best people the society can produce are at the top, and the people at the bottom (as unhappy as they might be) tend to be the dregs.



That's the basics as I learned it (without getting political and talking about too many examples and exceptions... I simply make an exception for the USSR because while the attitudes seem to be returning on some levels, it effectively died. ).
i'll have to highlight where you said "In America our politics are rather messed up"
i have a strong feeling that what you guys are taught is quite untrue.
i'll pull up the top of the wiki page on anarchy.
"No rulership or enforced authority."
"Absence of government; a state of lawlessness due to the absence or inefficiency of the supreme power; political disorder."
"A social state in which there is no governing person or group of persons, but each individual has absolute liberty (without the implication of disorder)."
"Absence or non-recognition of authority and order in any given sphere."
these are sort of in reverse order or origin. the words are greek for "no government" this does not mean that there are no rules, as that would be chaos. quite simply the governmental powers have been absorbed into everyone as a whole, so everyone has equal political power (leaders can still exist, they just have to lead, as they only have the power of 1 person; this seems a little funny, having to explain that leaders only lead) aouthority is still enforced, but it can get more complicated when explainging how it would work.
anyway, i suspect the definition has been spun so much that you guys don't really know what things mean anymore (understandable as there was stupidly high numbers of people not knowing the difference between socialism and communism on another thread).
communism doesn't mean no personal property, that's just the way that governments do it because they can control it better (redistribution). communism is more about eaven distribution, as you said, but things can still be owned.
Socialism is the road between capitalism and communism, this can be in a huge veriety of forms and people generally forget that it's actually just a vauge range. it must however have government ownership of some things (hospitals, fire dept.s, copshops; though not necicarily all of them [most countries are at least partialy socialist, including america])
capitAlism is basically very man for him self to make as much money as they can. the more capitalist something gets, the less power the government gets, untill it gets to chaos. (no laws, just people doing what they can if they can). no one gets to chaos, cause the government really doesn't want to put a bullet in it's own head, and there's generally more people against it that there are for it.

the USSR can't be used as an example of communism, as it was socialist at best; and a really pooerly implemented one at that. the war seemed to give access to a lot of things, and with the iron-curtain(sp?) up, no one really knew what was going on. the totalitarian government over the USSR was just using words like communism to help with the propaganda (as they found that propaganda can do wonders in WWII)

that's my little rant about what the systems actually are. i really don't know what they teach you in america but we're pritty liberal (opposite of totalitarian; nothing to do with leftright) over here about polotics, so i can look around without people on my back too much.

if you need to talk more, feel free to add to the 33 page forum or PM me (IM even). i'd rather not let this one get into political factions. let's try get back to the topic at hand.
 

jboking

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Ygfi said:
even if the strip is somewhat true (it really doesn't matter) the tendency is for the "upper-class" kids to be the brats; the "lower-class" kids to be the angry/violent kids and i really don't know about "the middle" but i'm sure they've got a different problem (in aus, we really havn't split off into classes; the difference between upper and lower is how well you do in school, and with open access, there nothing holding you back but yourself).
basically, social decline can't be pinned town to a particular group of people, it's about the number of these kids.
Then Aus. is a bit different from the states right now. In the US the class you are born in to will likely be the one you die in. Upward mobility is pretty much a joke. Of course, we do share the similarities in distinction between the three classes, sadly it's been that way for a long, long time and the number of bad kids was proportional to the number of people in most neighborhoods. There's more people so there are going to be more good and bad kids. That's my point. It's basic logic. If you think there are more bad kids than good ones, then all I can say is that you don't look very hard for the good kids.

Side note, The point of the strip wasn't that it doesn't matter, but that pretentious people who assume there is some huge problem with the new generation of people have done more damage to society than the new generation they criticize.
 

Ygfi

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jboking said:
Ygfi said:
even if the strip is somewhat true (it really doesn't matter) the tendency is for the "upper-class" kids to be the brats; the "lower-class" kids to be the angry/violent kids and i really don't know about "the middle" but i'm sure they've got a different problem (in aus, we really havn't split off into classes; the difference between upper and lower is how well you do in school, and with open access, there nothing holding you back but yourself).
basically, social decline can't be pinned town to a particular group of people, it's about the number of these kids.
Then Aus. is a bit different from the states right now. In the US the class you are born in to will likely be the one you die in. Upward mobility is pretty much a joke. Of course, we do share the similarities in distinction between the three classes, sadly it's been that way for a long, long time and the number of bad kids was proportional to the number of people in most neighborhoods. There's more people so there are going to be more good and bad kids. That's my point. It's basic logic. If you think there are more bad kids than good ones, then all I can say is that you don't look very hard for the good kids.

Side note, The point of the strip wasn't that it doesn't matter, but that pretentious people who assume there is some huge problem with the new generation of people have done more damage to society than the new generation they criticize.
a theory about why it seems that the proportions are incresing (for me at least)
at any given point, we notice the bad kids a lot more than the good ones, this is basic psych.
as we get older, we forget the bad, and only tend to remember the good kids.
so when you're old, you have memories of good kids and currently only notice the bad ones.

this however, is less related to the severity of how bad these kids are. this seems to be the actualy problem; and is caused by, on some degree (not limited to) society shaming parents who smack their kids as a punishment.
this could also be linked the other way. if a kid, when they're young gets in a fight and the parent does a minor thing like ask them to not do it again or tell them it's wrong, the kid will think they got away with it (sort of). this means the kid is more likely to get in more fights becuase they've little stopping them. if the kid gets a smack on the arse however, they're gonna relate starting fights to NO! this means they get a bad vibe about fights and are much less likely to get in them. closest example to me of this is... me vs. my [racist] cousin.

i think we're done here, no?
 

velcthulhu

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Ygfi said:
velcthulhu said:
Our society promotes stupid parenting, which makes this a little hard to answer. I'm gonna go with society being worse, since most people behave completely differently when their parents are around.
explain how society promotes bad parenting. this is what the actual question was about.
In our society, parents can get away with blaming others, especially teachers and companies, for their own bad parenting. They can blame a game company for making an M-rated game if their kid plays it, and politicians and journalists will all pretend that's a legitimate viewpoint. If you haven't told the kid he's not allowed to have M-rated games, it's your fault, and if you have, it's his fault for breaking your rules, and you should discipline him. But it's easier to blame a faceless corporation, especially when the media is continuously telling you it's all the evil corporation's fault. When I say our society promotes this behavior, I mean that prominent public figures, i.e, politicians, big media names, and celebrities (none of whom knows anything about the topic) promote it.
 

jboking

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Ygfi said:
jboking said:
Ygfi said:
even if the strip is somewhat true (it really doesn't matter) the tendency is for the "upper-class" kids to be the brats; the "lower-class" kids to be the angry/violent kids and i really don't know about "the middle" but i'm sure they've got a different problem (in aus, we really havn't split off into classes; the difference between upper and lower is how well you do in school, and with open access, there nothing holding you back but yourself).
basically, social decline can't be pinned town to a particular group of people, it's about the number of these kids.
Then Aus. is a bit different from the states right now. In the US the class you are born in to will likely be the one you die in. Upward mobility is pretty much a joke. Of course, we do share the similarities in distinction between the three classes, sadly it's been that way for a long, long time and the number of bad kids was proportional to the number of people in most neighborhoods. There's more people so there are going to be more good and bad kids. That's my point. It's basic logic. If you think there are more bad kids than good ones, then all I can say is that you don't look very hard for the good kids.

Side note, The point of the strip wasn't that it doesn't matter, but that pretentious people who assume there is some huge problem with the new generation of people have done more damage to society than the new generation they criticize.
a theory about why it seems that the proportions are incresing (for me at least)
at any given point, we notice the bad kids a lot more than the good ones, this is basic psych.
as we get older, we forget the bad, and only tend to remember the good kids.
so when you're old, you have memories of good kids and currently only notice the bad ones.

this however, is less related to the severity of how bad these kids are. this seems to be the actual problem; and is caused by, on some degree (not limited to) society shaming parents who smack their kids as a punishment.
this could also be linked the other way. if a kid, when they're young gets in a fight and the parent does a minor thing like ask them to not do it again or tell them it's wrong, the kid will think they got away with it (sort of). this means the kid is more likely to get in more fights because they've little stopping them. if the kid gets a smack on the arse however, they're gonna relate starting fights to NO! this means they get a bad vibe about fights and are much less likely to get in them. closest example to me of this is... me vs. my [racist] cousin.

I think we're done here, no?
Kind of, enough to where I said I was done two posts ago. Mostly because you pointed out the psychological concept that shows how you can be wrong in thinking that society has declined in any way or that parents have become worse at their jobs.

Also, while I'm not against giving a swat to a kid who deserves it, I believe there are other, equally effective methods. Giving a kid a punishment and swatting him/her are not synonymous. I've seen kids cry harder over being put in a corner than for being spanked. In fact, I think we've moved on to another reason why there were bad parents in the past and why there are bad parents now. Spanking can be viewed as hitting, when we tell our kids that they shouldn't do this to someone else, but we do it to them it sends a mixed message. It can form confusion and, later on, even hatred. Which can lead to a kid that just wishes to do whatever he can to piss off his dad. This was the old problem, the problem in society today may have changed a bit, but the outcome is the same and in fairly the same number.

The point I was trying to argue in the first place was not that there are no bad kids, there are. It also wasn't that there are no bad parents, because there are. It was that bad parents and kids have existed in bulk throughout history and assuming some sort of societal decline in this issue is well... asinine.

But yes, now I believe we are done. Wanna be friends?
 

Ygfi

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velcthulhu said:
Ygfi said:
velcthulhu said:
Our society promotes stupid parenting, which makes this a little hard to answer. I'm gonna go with society being worse, since most people behave completely differently when their parents are around.
explain how society promotes bad parenting. this is what the actual question was about.
In our society, parents can get away with blaming others, especially teachers and companies, for their own bad parenting. They can blame a game company for making an M-rated game if their kid plays it, and politicians and journalists will all pretend that's a legitimate viewpoint. If you haven't told the kid he's not allowed to have M-rated games, it's your fault, and if you have, it's his fault for breaking your rules, and you should discipline him. But it's easier to blame a faceless corporation, especially when the media is continuously telling you it's all the evil corporation's fault. When I say our society promotes this behavior, I mean that prominent public figures, i.e, politicians, big media names, and celebrities (none of whom knows anything about the topic) promote it.
thanks for contributing.

jboking said:
Ygfi said:
jboking said:
Ygfi said:
even if the strip is somewhat true (it really doesn't matter) the tendency is for the "upper-class" kids to be the brats; the "lower-class" kids to be the angry/violent kids and i really don't know about "the middle" but i'm sure they've got a different problem (in aus, we really havn't split off into classes; the difference between upper and lower is how well you do in school, and with open access, there nothing holding you back but yourself).
basically, social decline can't be pinned town to a particular group of people, it's about the number of these kids.
Then Aus. is a bit different from the states right now. In the US the class you are born in to will likely be the one you die in. Upward mobility is pretty much a joke. Of course, we do share the similarities in distinction between the three classes, sadly it's been that way for a long, long time and the number of bad kids was proportional to the number of people in most neighborhoods. There's more people so there are going to be more good and bad kids. That's my point. It's basic logic. If you think there are more bad kids than good ones, then all I can say is that you don't look very hard for the good kids.

Side note, The point of the strip wasn't that it doesn't matter, but that pretentious people who assume there is some huge problem with the new generation of people have done more damage to society than the new generation they criticize.
a theory about why it seems that the proportions are incresing (for me at least)
at any given point, we notice the bad kids a lot more than the good ones, this is basic psych.
as we get older, we forget the bad, and only tend to remember the good kids.
so when you're old, you have memories of good kids and currently only notice the bad ones.

this however, is less related to the severity of how bad these kids are. this seems to be the actual problem; and is caused by, on some degree (not limited to) society shaming parents who smack their kids as a punishment.
this could also be linked the other way. if a kid, when they're young gets in a fight and the parent does a minor thing like ask them to not do it again or tell them it's wrong, the kid will think they got away with it (sort of). this means the kid is more likely to get in more fights because they've little stopping them. if the kid gets a smack on the arse however, they're gonna relate starting fights to NO! this means they get a bad vibe about fights and are much less likely to get in them. closest example to me of this is... me vs. my [racist] cousin.

I think we're done here, no?
Kind of, enough to where I said I was done two posts ago. Mostly because you pointed out the psychological concept that shows how you can be wrong in thinking that society has declined in any way or that parents have become worse at their jobs.

Also, while I'm not against giving a swat to a kid who deserves it, I believe there are other, equally effective methods. Giving a kid a punishment and swatting him/her are not synonymous. I've seen kids cry harder over being put in a corner than for being spanked. In fact, I think we've moved on to another reason why there were bad parents in the past and why there are bad parents now. Spanking can be viewed as hitting, when we tell our kids that they shouldn't do this to someone else, but we do it to them it sends a mixed message. It can form confusion and, later on, even hatred. Which can lead to a kid that just wishes to do whatever he can to piss off his dad. This was the old problem, the problem in society today may have changed a bit, but the outcome is the same and in fairly the same number.

The point I was trying to argue in the first place was not that there are no bad kids, there are. It also wasn't that there are no bad parents, because there are. It was that bad parents and kids have existed in bulk throughout history and assuming some sort of societal decline in this issue is well... asinine.

But yes, now I believe we are done. Wanna be friends?
smacking is only appropriare for the age group that can't really undersand other forms. and again, it's pritty much the last resort punishment.
 

jboking

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Ygfi said:
smacking is only appropriare for the age group that can't really understand other forms. and again, it's pritty much the last resort punishment.
I've spent time in a daycare before, and it seems that kids of all ages understand the punishment of "You are going to sit in this corner while everyone else has fun because you did something that was wrong."
 

Ygfi

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Jan 4, 2009
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jboking said:
Ygfi said:
smacking is only appropriare for the age group that can't really understand other forms. and again, it's pritty much the last resort punishment.
I've spent time in a daycare before, and it seems that kids of all ages understand the punishment of "You are going to sit in this corner while everyone else has fun because you did something that was wrong."
might work in a daycare; but if there's nothing to be missing out on, it won't work...
last resort means just that, not "can't think of anything else"...
 

jboking

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Ygfi said:
jboking said:
Ygfi said:
smacking is only appropriare for the age group that can't really understand other forms. and again, it's pritty much the last resort punishment.
I've spent time in a daycare before, and it seems that kids of all ages understand the punishment of "You are going to sit in this corner while everyone else has fun because you did something that was wrong."
might work in a daycare; but if there's nothing to be missing out on, it won't work...
last resort means just that, not "can't think of anything else"...
So if you were to take a kid away from all of his toys, the television, etc. you think he would be cool with it. Don't be ridiculous, of course he would be pissed. There in, the punishment still works the way it is intended to. Even if the kid is an only child, simply the fact that he isn't getting to do what he wanted to is a punishment for them. I don't remember saying that smacking was a "Can't think of anything else" measure, I was just saying that it is unnecessary and that there are other options that work equally well. Also, that it isn't the punishment system alone that makes a bad kid.