Poll: Be yourself: bad advice?

[Xavisam]

I don't usually like getting the advice "just be yourself" because it seems like the easy thing to say.

and I don't see whats wrong with trying to change yourself, because not everyone is born with likable personalities.

 

[StBishop]

Specifically, what got you the beatings?

acting differently, mostly. Actually wanting to learn something and get somewhere, (not that I forced anyone else) my interest in nerdy things like games and older movies than most people that age liked, pretty much being a nerd.

From personal experience, you probably did this in either an aloof, condescending, arrogant, or dismissive (of others priorities) way.

It's what most nerds get wrong in highschool. Once I realised that smarter/more academic =/= better my life improved.

 

[DarkRyter]

I prefer "be what you want to be."

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

I usually be myself, but if I have something to gain from being someone else, I will leap at the opportunity.

 

[Ophiuchus]

It isn't that it's bad advice, it's just that people so often use it as an blame-shifting excuse when they're being a dickhead - "well, I'm just being myself; if you don't like it, that's your problem". Well, no, it's not. Much in the same way as people excuse their tactlessness and/or obnoxious views by saying "well, I'm just being honest!". There's things called decency and moderation, 'be yourself' is not licence to ignore them.

But, yeah: taken in the sense that it's usually intended - roughly "don't pretend to be something you're not for the benefit of others", it's absolutely sound advice.

 

[VanillaBean]

There's a standard and criteria for eveything, and each individual can choose to follow it or go against it. Most of the time going against the standards of society will lead to negative effects, but every now and then society is changed by rebellion towards the system of the norm.

Call it the Elvis Presley Syndrome.

 

[MazdaXR]

Be yourself is good advise, but there should be different "yous" as it were, for example, I am my self at work but that doesn't mean that I act the same around my friends. It is know how to act in certain situations, it doesn't mean its not you just another side to you. people are not 1 dimensional creatures that have just one way of being

 

[Weaver]

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

 

[Farotsu]

Well. You can try being something or someone else but eventually you'll be found out, the real you will be revealed and things will go south. Afterall when you are looking for someone who is the right one for YOU. You are looking for someone who will enjoy being with YOU. Of course you will encounter people that you are interested in but aren't interested in you but chances are you will come accross someone who is interested in YOU. And if you just happened to try being someone else entirely to her... Well you just blew it.

Of course you don't go telling everything about yourself right off the bat. Be open about things that you are comfortable about and slowly start opening up for each other more. It is surprising how insignificant and not so scary or embarrassing some things become once you are able to talk about them with someone you like. As long as you don't overwhelm him/her. That's still on topic I believe but I think I got my point through.

 

[Tim Mazzola]

You should always be yourself 100% of the time. Whether or not it's good for you or will get you anywhere doesn't matter.

 

[Gardenia]

In my experience, the only ones who say "be yourself" have absolutely no clue how to act in social situations, and obliviously make asses of themselves in public.
A much better advice is: *****, be cool!

 

[triggrhappy94]

Oh yeah I read a thing on Cracked about this.
Well, it seems like its good to be different, but still adhere to social standards, you know.

 

[Denamic]

If the true 'you' is a flaming dipshit, you're fucked either way.
Either you're living a lie and will always be alone, or, well, no one will like you because you're an ass.
If you're not a colossal tool, being yourself is the best course of action.

 

[Dragonasclaws]

Nobody ever accomplished anything revolutionary by being like everyone else.

 

[Jedoro]

If it could get you fired, use tact. Otherwise, be yourself and be ready to walk away from or kick the ass of anyone who doesn't like it, because in the end those are their options as well.

 

[floobie]

I say be yourself. Not everyone will accept you for who you are, but that's fine. Your personality is basically a filter. By being yourself, you'll attract people that are truly compatible with you, and repel people who aren't. A few strong relationships are a lot nicer than loads of superficial relationships based on a lie.

 

[FalloutJack]

I've been wondering, isn't "be yourself" the worst piece of advice ever? I'd love to believe the world is sunshine and rainbows, and that people will accept or at least tolerate the person you really are, but that's simply not true. People have been put through hell for being themselves, people have even been killed for following this advice. I tried "being myself" all through school, it only got me extra beatings. This is an intolerant, anti-individualist society, and that needs to change, but it ain't gonna change for a while yet, and so people who are different from the societal norm perhaps should keep their heads low around people they don't know and don't trust. When you are alone, or around a group of people you know and trust, then's the time for "yourself", but if you expect safety, it may be best to keep that hidden in public.

TLR (seriously? It's one paragraph. Damn "too lazy didn't read"...): I feel "be yourself" is dangerous advice. What do you think?

DISCLAIMER: I am not against self expression, but whilst people should be able to be themselves, too often it isn't safe to be. At least, in my opinion.

Well, I have a puzzler for you then. If not you to be, then who be ye?

 

[alandavidson]

It depends. If I'm in a business meeting with a client, I'm not going to be my usual crass sailor-mouth self. I will be funny and personable, but I will be more reserved. If it's a team meeting with my crew I let loose and let it fly. Generally, the core of your personality needs to stay intact no matter what the situation.

 

[crimson sickle2]

My policy is to be honest with yourself, and try to be the person you want to be. I understand that most of the time people are not who they want to be, but by striving to be that person they may be one day.
As for getting into trouble because you tried to be yourself, then use your intelligence and strength to not get into trouble. It takes someone strong to be themselves.