Poll: Can males and females simply "just be friends"?

[jultub]

I'd say that two gay people of different genders could be that close friends without ever having those feelings for eachother. Haven't seen it anywhere else, but I suppose the possibility exists.

Being straight is implied. That's ducking the real question. Besides, even then I bet one of them might have romantic feelings towards the other while at the same time being repulsed on a physical level by his/her sexual orientation.

Does this not apply for straight people of the same gender as well then? From my point of view you are clearly stating that all people who have any kind of closeness will at some point have romantic feelings for eachother. That is a point I disagree strongly with

 

[Glamorgan]

Yep. My best friend is a girl, I completely trust her, I don't have any feelings towards her, and she's in a relationship. Ergo, yes.

For now. Besides, you can only know your side of things. You don't know that she's NEVER had feelings for you, do you?

Basically what I'm saying to everyone who says "yes" is that it's pretty much statistically impossible for a (fairly attractive) straight man and (fairly attractive) straight woman to be very, very close friends, spend a lot of time together in close proximity and never entertain thoughts of being intimate with or entering into a romantic relationship with the other.

Now family, that is what I'd consider the ONE exception.

Uh, I actually do. Since I met her, she has always been in a relationship. And that wasn't what the question was asking. Levels of attractiveness and sexuality would be a factor, as would family, but even still, it is possible for a guy to be very close friends with a girl, without any involvement.

 

[silverhawk100]

Let's pose the corollary to this question: Can two gay men or women be very close friends without any romantic feelings beyond the standard small amount of sexual tension that all friendships have? I understand not a lot of you out there can reliably answer this, but try and answer it anyways.

 

[Nazulu]

I wouldn't have a clue but I said 'Yes' anyway because I don't see why not.

I have some friends that are girls and I don't think we ever had any romantic thoughts. OK I lied, I did

 

[havass]

Yeah.. I have two. One's been my best friend since primary school, though cause of GCEs we haven't been keeping in touch lately.
The other's my 1 year senior and has a boyfriend, so no problems there either.
It's VERY possible. just very hard.

 

[Chris Binkley]

Yes but only if neither person develops feelings at any point, once someone dose it gets very very difficult.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

Of course they can "just be friends". I've had a female friend since i was 2 years (She was 1). We've been friends for almost 16 years now and i can honestly say i have never thought of her in a romantic fashion, i doubt she has ever seen me like that either. I believe that's what the japanese call "The Weird Couple" i.e. two people of the opposite sex being so close friends that aa romantic relationship would be unthinkable... or something along those lines.

 

[ramox]

My two best friends are male, the first one I've been told I should date for as long as I can remember but even the thought of it seems silly. The thought of being intimate with him is alien to me, I can't imagine him touching me the way my boyfriend does.

The second friend I work with. I see him every day, I sit with him 45 hours a week, I eat with him, I go drinking with him, I talk about everything and anything with him but I've never once even entertained the idea of intamacy. Never considered dating him or anything below the belt really so yes, I believe men and women can be just friends even if they're close.

It's like saying that you can't be brother and sister without being attracted to one another. That's silly.

Statements like this are the reason for the OPs issue.
In my experience females got the ability to mark someone (no matter ones gender) as friend, for life. And the moment they did said person becomes an asexual being. That's generally fine and a good basis for a working friendship.
THe problem with that is just that from that point on they also take it as fact that the other person does the same and that's a big mistake. And the reason it's such a big surprise for them if "Mr. bestest friend" suddenly confesses feelings.
The premise of "I am not romantically interested, so he can't be either" is, while not generally wrong, at least something set in stone.

Apart from all that i do think it's possible. But i also think a deep and personal friendship got to deal with "improper feelings" at one or the other point. But such a friendship will survive scuh things, or it's not that personal in the first place.

 

[jigilojoe]

I have one that I'm really close with, but she's with one of my best mates so I can't really find her attractive, and even before their relationship I didn't find her that hot cause she was just 'one of the lads', only thing was she had a vagina. Vaginas don't make that massive a difference.

 

[Queen Michael]

Sure, some gay men are friend with lesbian women. So yeah.

 

[Soxafloppin]

Without a doubt, it has happened to me and continues to happen as we speak.

 

[GLo Jones]

From experience, no. You can have friends of the opposite sex, but nothing like the closeness of a best friend without, at some point, feelings developing. One of my lesser friend's had a fairly close group of friends. She's now been in a relationship with one of the guys for about a year.

I've also had this from one of my girl friends, which was awkward because I'm taken. The worst part is, if I wasn't already with someone, I'd probably respond to her feelings.

Given how comfortable we are with our closest friends, it's often far too easy to develop feelings.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

I'd say that two gay people of different genders could be that close friends without ever having those feelings for eachother. Haven't seen it anywhere else, but I suppose the possibility exists.

Being straight is implied. That's ducking the real question. Besides, even then I bet one of them might have romantic feelings towards the other while at the same time being repulsed on a physical level by his/her sexual orientation.

Does this not apply for straight people of the same gender as well then?

Yeah. Again, I thought that was implied. We're talking about people whose sexual preference is the gender of the person they are friends with.

From my point of view you are clearly stating that all people who have any kind of closeness will at some point have romantic feelings for eachother. That is a point I disagree strongly with

No, it's actually people who have a great degree of closeness. Check the OP again, this isn't just a casual relationship. I have lots of casual friendships with girls that aren't romantic. But they aren't close friendships.

In my last posting I explained very specifically the exact situation I was referring to when stating my position. The requirements are:

-They both must be straight/sexually interested in the gender the other friend happens to be.
-They both must be fairly attractive.
-They must be very close friends and spend lots of time together.

Given these three factors, I think it would be impossible for romantic feelings to not show up at some point.

 

[bobknowsall]

If the guy's gay and the girl's lesbian, sure. Otherwise, it might be tricky to avoid romantic feelings at some point. But that doesn't mean platonic friendships are impossible; just difficult.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

Yep. My best friend is a girl, I completely trust her, I don't have any feelings towards her, and she's in a relationship. Ergo, yes.

For now. Besides, you can only know your side of things. You don't know that she's NEVER had feelings for you, do you?

Basically what I'm saying to everyone who says "yes" is that it's pretty much statistically impossible for a (fairly attractive) straight man and (fairly attractive) straight woman to be very, very close friends, spend a lot of time together in close proximity and never entertain thoughts of being intimate with or entering into a romantic relationship with the other.

Now family, that is what I'd consider the ONE exception.

Uh, I actually do. Since I met her, she has always been in a relationship. And that wasn't what the question was asking. Levels of attractiveness and sexuality would be a factor, as would family, but even still, it is possible for a guy to be very close friends with a girl, without any involvement.

do you believe it is possible for males and females to be close friends without one person having feelings for the other at some stage throughout the duration of the friendship?

Um, you're wrong. That was exactly what the question was asking. The fact she has been in a relationship in no way suggests she never had romantic thoughts towards you at any point in your friendship. People do not work that way. We do not automatically stop thinking about other guys/girls just because we're in a relationship. We might not act on feelings, but that's not to say they never are felt.

The question is just asking that given a very close friendship between two people who COULD be sexually attracted to one another, WILL one of the two people always experience romantic feelings towards the other? I maintain that yes, that will always happen to some degree.

 

[Wildrow12]

It's quite possible to be very, very close to someone without developing romantic/sexual feelings towards them.

In my case, I've had one or two close female friends who I treat as family (it is rare that anyone reaches that level of trust with me). Heck, when we're in public we frequently introduce each other as brother and sister.

 

[Oassis]

Most likely, however, most of the time its friends who push people from "friends" to "Lovers"

 

[mr.machoke]

i have a few close personal girls as friends but they have all said something to do with dating to me in the past

 

[Deviluk]

Not close personal friends, no. If a girl can connect with me on that level, then nature takes over and I want her all for myself!