Poll: Can males and females simply "just be friends"?
- Thread starter Kortney
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I have a girl-friend whom I have known since we were...3-ish
Consequently, we're like siblings, really. We don't hang out much these days (different social groups and all) but we still get along. Whenever we're near each other, people would make jokes about us dating. This repulses both of us, as whilst she IS very good looking, it's like thinking about dating a sister. It's just too wierd
Nowadays she's in one of the sturdiest, long-lasting relationships in the school (3 years), so people don't make that connection between us anymore
We talk about anything. Not that we do, but if either of us asked the other a personal question, we WOULD answer it.
Consequently, we're like siblings, really. We don't hang out much these days (different social groups and all) but we still get along. Whenever we're near each other, people would make jokes about us dating. This repulses both of us, as whilst she IS very good looking, it's like thinking about dating a sister. It's just too wierd
Nowadays she's in one of the sturdiest, long-lasting relationships in the school (3 years), so people don't make that connection between us anymore
We talk about anything. Not that we do, but if either of us asked the other a personal question, we WOULD answer it.
You just said all I wanted to say. I do have some close friends that are girls. And yes i did think of them in a sexual manner at least once.Virus0015 said:
But i have 5 best friends(all guys), between which we know all each others secrets and pretty much think about everything the same way. This is all not because I'm a sexist pig or something, I just adore the opposite sex and all the things they have that guys dont
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I think it's more likely for a male to have a romantic feeling to a female friend, but less likely for the females, whom don't usually fancy their male friends. (Hence the whole "friend zone" and "nice guy" phenomia.) I'm quite good friends with one of my flat-mates, but i've never had romantic feelings for her. That said, it's not unusual for me to have at least passing romantic feelings towards other close female friends.
A bit of misphrasing from my part, of course I see that we're dealing with a great degree of closeness. But I think you missed my original point altogether, so I'll rephrase it as well.Samurai Goomba said:Yeah. Again, I thought that was implied. We're talking about people whose sexual preference is the gender of the person they are friends with.jultub said:No, it's actually people who have a great degree of closeness. Check the OP again, this isn't just a casual relationship. I have lots of casual friendships with girls that aren't romantic. But they aren't close friendships.From my point of view you are clearly stating that all people who have any kind of closeness will at some point have romantic feelings for eachother. That is a point I disagree strongly with
In my last posting I explained very specifically the exact situation I was referring to when stating my position. The requirements are:
-They both must be straight/sexually interested in the gender the other friend happens to be.
-They both must be fairly attractive.
-They must be very close friends and spend lots of time together.
Given these three factors, I think it would be impossible for romantic feelings to not show up at some point.
I'd say that two gay people of different genders could be that close friends without ever having those feelings for eachother. Haven't seen it anywhere else, but I suppose the possibility exists.
My point was that if two people, of opposite genders with a great degree of closeness, does not at some point have romantic feelings in one way, then I haven't seen it anywhere beyond a time when both were homosexual. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but I haven't seen it, and I don't think I will see it either.
In all truth full ness, The answer is No. At some point eventually one will have feeling for the other usualy the male. I'm speaking from experiance from my view and others.Kortney said:
But seriously ? why else would a guy want to be friends and polite to a girl ? all guys i've known only pay above average attention to girls they like. Even me if I don't like a girl then I give little if any attention.
It's natural human nature, A male only shows interest in the oppsite sex when there is some sort of advantage for the male. Females are naturally friendly.
It's quite possible. In fact, stratch that, it's been done. I'm have several female friends that I have never had romantic feelings for. Protective instincts (like a brother), yes. Romantic inclinations? No.
Yes I have had a male friend whom I've been close with since I was very young, we even discussed this once, and agreed we're really not each others type, I can't speak for him, maybe he harbors some super secret feelings of unrequitednessess, but I'm in very very reasonable doubt, he really does treat me like a guy 9/10 times, right up the language, openly dicussing porn and pretty pathetic manners.
If the latter is true he's made no attempts to 'woo' me or had any kind of nervous breakdown around me.
And I don't see him much recently, just email/messenging here and there.
If the latter is true he's made no attempts to 'woo' me or had any kind of nervous breakdown around me.
And I don't see him much recently, just email/messenging here and there.
The close friendship between the two parties is possible, but there is always a possiblity of certain feelings for the other party. There is always a certain attraction to the other and even if you do not think you are feeling it, it is always there. It is true however that one can dismiss these emotions because thoughts and feelings are often irrational. It is also important to remember that just becuase you do not believe that you were never attracted to the other does not mean that the other has ever been attracted to you.
I imagine it's a possibility, but the difference between relationships and friendships are just on extremes. Whether or not you're going to have the former or latter result completly depends on the two's personalites, connections, feelings, etc.
In other words; two people of opposite genders can stay friends, though whether it's that or a full-blown relationship doesn't matter. Friends or more with the reasons above, you two still share a bind. Up to you on what that bind means.
In other words; two people of opposite genders can stay friends, though whether it's that or a full-blown relationship doesn't matter. Friends or more with the reasons above, you two still share a bind. Up to you on what that bind means.
... You've got a point actually. I was going to straight away put yes but my self included I know of a few friends that have been in that situation. I always find that although it's a sweet idea that friends should stay friends. I think you're friends with people that have similar interests and needs to you. You can't both provide what you don't have.
Ermm my ex is kinda like you described and we're attempting 'just friends'... not sure how well it's going though :/ EDIT: Just for clarification, she came into my room before in nothing but a nightgown, after I asked if she wanted to have sex she replied "Oh I ALWAYS want to have sex... I just don't want to have sex with you!"Eukaryote said:
I agree with most other people with the 'tension' argument, although i have no experience myself ^-^.
I'd just like to add the NCIS sketch of Tony arguing with Kate about this very same topic. Then Abbey blurts in that they can be (contradicting Tony and making Kate smug), but then at the question from Tony "But friends fuck right?" she replies yes
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Oh, sorry. I guess I did some misreading too. Um, yeah, I agree with you. Unless the two people are gay and have always been gay, I think an extremely close relationship is going to foster romantic feelings no matter what. I mean, most close man/woman friendships just learn to work around that. Or the person gets over the infatuation. But yeah, I think at some point there's going to be those feelings.jultub said:
Friendship is a two-way street.Macgyvercas said:
They sure can, I know quite a few friends who have that kind of relationship. Sometimes I wish had a really close friendship with a male, not that there is anything wrong with my current best friends. But I've always gotten on better with guys than girls, that I work in a female dominated workplace and get along with everyone is an achievement of it's own.
I don't really think so. If a guy and a girl are really close friends for a while, I think that eventually it might turn into something more than friendship at some point in time. They may go back to being just real close friends very soon after, it may be felt by only one party, and it may never really ever come to light; but I still think that at some point in time at least one of them is going to possibly just think about moving their relationship to a new stage. I can't really speak for the girls out there, but I really don't think any straight guy can have a close friendship with a girl for some period of time without thinking about taking it farther than that. I mean guys are willing to have romantic relationships with totally random chicks. It only stands to reason that they have some thoughts about a romantic relation with a close female friend. Even if its just for a short time and nothing ever comes of it.
That's not to say girls and boys can't be really close friends without taking it further later on. I'm just saying that after a while I'd imagine at least one of them considering the aforementioned option.
That's not to say girls and boys can't be really close friends without taking it further later on. I'm just saying that after a while I'd imagine at least one of them considering the aforementioned option.
I hope guys and girls can be 'just friends', I'm a guy who'll be sharing a flat with two girls next year... and no, I've never bothered watching 'Three's Company', before the jokes start.
Seriously though, I have plenty of female friends who I've never had romantic or sexual attraction to. So yes, guys and girls can just be friends without it becoming more.
Seriously though, I have plenty of female friends who I've never had romantic or sexual attraction to. So yes, guys and girls can just be friends without it becoming more.
Yes.
When I actually had friends, I was only friends with girls.
They probably thought I was gay though
When I actually had friends, I was only friends with girls.
They probably thought I was gay though