Poll: Can males and females simply "just be friends"?

[SimuLord]

If a woman is essentially good, beautiful, and a delight to be around, the kind of girl I could totally fall in love with, then sooner or later I'm going to develop a romantic interest. There are a few things that make the exceptions to this rule:

1) She's married to a guy I respect. I'm not the type to steal another man's woman unless the dude's an asshole.

2) There's just too much distance (ocean/national border/star system) between us to make any relationship anything other than email and phone/Skype.

3) For whatever reason the physical chemistry just isn't there. There's a woman I go to school with---attractive, intelligent, funny, single...and yet despite spending quite a bit of time with her as study buddies, it's never been something where either one of us has had any desire to make a move. (yet people who know us in class assume we're an item. We're not.)

4) If I myself am in a romantic relationship---if someone else got to me first then I can easily be "just friends" with women. Then again, if I break up with my girlfriend, those friendships begin to fall under rules 1-3 above as far as romantic viability.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

I think women can, and I used to think that it was possible as well, but I recently got a lot closer to one of my female friends as a result of various other factors, and suddenly realised I was feeling something more for her. I have a suspicion that men just aren't wired that way (or at least non-asexual non-gay men)

Of course, this could just be me projecting my own current insecurities onto others. Hell, if I was called Freud this would already be established fact.

 

[Anticitizen_Two]

Yes. It's possible. It's just rare.

 

[StriderShinryu]

I've gotta go No on this one. That certainly doesn't mean that either was trying to get in the other's pants from the get go or anything, but the cases where feelings will stay totally platonic on both sides are going to be very few and far between.

 

[Hayate_GT]

its very possible...guys, just don't think with your dick and you'll be fine...it's quite easy...i have some friends and if we ever had feelings for each other then i think the friendship would disintegrate cause we would be to eww...feelings...

 

[triggrhappy94]

well of course chic and guys can just be friends: im a guy, and most of my closest friends are chics, i find they are easier to talk to. However, my two closest chic, one is an ex and the other for awhile constently and pretty bluntly hinted she liked (or whatever you want to say, i think "like" is juevenile, but for lack of a better word...) me. So Im not sure, I think so, but I don't have any examples.

 

[theSovietConnection]

I know it's possible, I have two friends I would do damn near anything for and have felt no romantic inclination towards.

 

[Tilted_Logic]

I'm optimistic about it, but from personal experience I'd have to say no: it doesn't seem likely a close friendship won't at some point involve romantic feelings from one party or the other.

My closest friend who has known everything about about me for years one day admitted he had grown feelings for me. But it did pass; the convenience and security any extreme friendship provides can become a seduction. In my case I felt nothing for him romantically and so he backed off.

Now 2 years later he is happier than I've ever seen him with the girl of his dreams.

So while romantic feelings can sometimes be unavoidable in a friendship like that, they don't have to be a permanent detraction from the benefits a close but non-sexual relationship provides.

 

[Ze_Reaper_Of_Zeath]

Yes, in fact, I have a friend who is a girl, and I've been friends for over a decade or so.

 

[Marmooset]

If you follow political correctness, no.

But if you throw out everyone convention of how your supposed to treat ladies, and just treat them like people, than yes.

Do you have any idea what political correctness is?

 

[phoenixbeast]

This is a difficult question for me to answer...Just friends, then yeah, no problem...BEST friends is another issue...As much as it pains me, I would have to say no from my experience...Sorry HUGE story coming up...

In high school...I became best friends with a girl...It even became the point that if someone just saw us together who didn't know "best friends" it was assumed that we were in a relationship...But we weren't and never were...Problems came with summer and her living about a 45 minute drive away...So it seemed to become just chatting online whenever the opportunity arose...But once school came back up, it was back to how it was the year before...

Then we went to college...Same college too...We would actually be only 15 min. apart from each other...I thought "great, it won't be that much of an issue to see each other at least once a month or so"...And that was true...For the first semester...Then it was 2 months till I saw her again...Then 3...But we still talked online...

And now we are at the 2nd year of college...Almost never talking because she is always busy despite only being 5 minutes away...I talked to her maybe 6 times first semester and saw her once...I had to start the conversation every time...After that, I figured she could start it once...I haven't talked too her since two weeks before spring break (I had started that conversation as well)...She forgot my birthday and the day we were going to hang out for her forgetting my birthday (her idea, not mine)...Yet she STILL claims we are "best friends" to others despite not having talked to me in 3 months...

I know I come off as a jerk as I am not trying anymore...But if I am the only one making any effort in keeping the friendship, is it really worth it? I have quite a few female friends...But I doubt I have a female "Best friend" anymore...

 

[latenightapplepie]

... didn't fully read the question.

Nah. I fully read the question, and it didn't say both the man and the woman in the close friendship couldn't both be gay.

 

[Kelbear]

This may seem like a silly question, but I want you to really think about it.

Note: I am not asking if males and females are capable of having a friendship. We all know they can. What I am asking is that do you believe it is possible for males and females to be close friends without one person having feelings for the other at some stage throughout the duration of the friendship?

Remember, I am talking about close personal friends here, the ones you share everything in your life with, not just acquaintances or even good friends.

The reason I am asking this is that my closest friend just told me he had feelings for me. This has completely thrown the dynamics off and it is nothing short of awkward now. It got me thinking and I have never seen a close friendship between a male and a female where at least at one stage, feelings weren't involved.

Yes for women, yes for men too, but only if she's ugly.

 

[Rawker]

Just because I haven't doesn't make it impossible. (I have girls who are just friends, but at some point I'm sure I've mildy liked them, but probably never dated them.)

 

[Dark assassin for hire]

Yeah. Thats a bad question. I have plenty of friends who are girls and I'm not going out with.

 

[awsome117]

Yah, as I have a female friend since we were young (around 2-3) and I have never felted a stronger urge for her.

 

[ResiEvalJohn]

The only way it's possible is if both people are not attracted to each other at all. In other words, they both have to be ugly. Otherwise, enough time alone can always lead to something sexual.
Hell, All guys have those lonely nights, we'll even fuck pie if there's nothing else around, it doesn't really matter. We also are known to bang ugly chicks on occasion, just because of loneliness, but it's nothing personal, ya know. We're not in love or anything.

 

[Phantomess]

Entirely possible. Especially if either of you is gay - as in my situation. Gay men are brilliant best friends! This does mean, however, that should either of you spot a particularly attractive member of the gender you're attracted to, scuffles can break out (but fun ones!).

 

[drisky]

Well by definition of the OP I'm not sure. If a girl is single and I like her, than at some point, even if it for a short while I'd be attracted to them. That doesn't mean we cant be just friends or I have some vested interest to be in a relationship or have sex. But as someone who is single I can't say I've ever had friend that I've never considered it might be nice to go out with at all what so ever, I'd be completely emotionally unattached if that was the case. Its kind of an extreme question, it is possible though.