Poll: Casual Sex, Feminism, and You!
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I objectify men as much as I do women,just in different ways. I've done the casual sex thing, at first I simply saw her as someone I can have sex with, maybe with a bit of friendship mixed in. But we got closer as time went on and I genuinely valued her as a friend, eventually we stopped because it didn't feel right, our spiritual connection was far stronger and better to grow than the sexual one.
I'm pretty sure she saw me in the exact same way, and her consenting to have sex with me meant she didn't care about being 'objectified'.
I personally think that those who make a big hoo-haa about 'the objectification of women' are often the most culpable since they're the ones actually thinking about it the most.
I'm pretty sure she saw me in the exact same way, and her consenting to have sex with me meant she didn't care about being 'objectified'.
I personally think that those who make a big hoo-haa about 'the objectification of women' are often the most culpable since they're the ones actually thinking about it the most.
Casual sex has nothing objectifying about it. Some men objectify women through the way they practice casual sex (i.e. trying to rack up a score), but that's an entirely different matter that has next to nothing to do with casual sex itself. It's like how some people use meds on their kids because they don't know how to be parents; it's not the meds that are the problem, it's the parents. Likewise, it's the douchebags who objectify, not the sex; even without casual sex, women are still constantly objectified all over the place.
It may or may not be that a majority of men practice casual sex in a score-keeping, trick-her-into-bed, objectifying fashion, but that's a commentary about the culture surrounding casual sex, and not casual sex itself, which is just people having sex outside the framework of a relationship. That's a vague phenomena that can be assigned multiple meanings. It's a cultural problem, not something inherent to the act of casual sex.
EDIT: It's worth noting that by "objectification" I understand the notion of using a person as a means to one's own ends in open disregard to their well-being, subjective experience or goals. There is a wider understanding of objectification that includes, for example, objectifying waiters and waitresses because we don't seriously care about them as people, but I'm talking about the narrower notion of objectification that simultaneously dehumanizes and degrades (i.e. denies the subjectivity of the other, rather than just ignoring it or treating it as inconsequential, as seen in benign objectification).
It may or may not be that a majority of men practice casual sex in a score-keeping, trick-her-into-bed, objectifying fashion, but that's a commentary about the culture surrounding casual sex, and not casual sex itself, which is just people having sex outside the framework of a relationship. That's a vague phenomena that can be assigned multiple meanings. It's a cultural problem, not something inherent to the act of casual sex.
EDIT: It's worth noting that by "objectification" I understand the notion of using a person as a means to one's own ends in open disregard to their well-being, subjective experience or goals. There is a wider understanding of objectification that includes, for example, objectifying waiters and waitresses because we don't seriously care about them as people, but I'm talking about the narrower notion of objectification that simultaneously dehumanizes and degrades (i.e. denies the subjectivity of the other, rather than just ignoring it or treating it as inconsequential, as seen in benign objectification).
But if sex is just sex than what better reason to have it then for enjoyment and lust?Trezu said:
OT: I'm all for casual sex, the only time I tried it though I ended up in a year long relationship that's still going so next time I'll give it a better go. Most of my female and male friends do it and no one bats an eyelid.
The only time nasty labels get thrown around is when that casual sex includes someone else's significant other, which is always bad form, regardless of gender.
Just because you're having casual sex, doesn't mean you're having lots of sex with everyone you see. I see it more as one's attitude towards it.
And looking at it from the female perspective, it's hard to see yourself as objectified when you simply want a sex life but not a relationship. I imagine most men see it the same way.
And looking at it from the female perspective, it's hard to see yourself as objectified when you simply want a sex life but not a relationship. I imagine most men see it the same way.
Just to clarify, one can fail to support something for various reasons. Personally, I think the phrase "casual" sex is misleading. One can have sex in a casual way but safely (ie. with condoms), which is different from just hooking up with strangers in a bar bathroom while you're black out.
It used to be more widespread, but is now generally considered inappropriate or offensive. Those darn feminists with their workplace sensitivity training. Lady cops, lady doctors. It signified that men were supposed to be doctors and cops.crudus said:
The joke is about how lesbian stereotypes cast them as uber relationship oriented; that they move in together on the second date (hence the U-Haul).
The gay male version goes like:
What do gay men bring on the second date?
----->
[sub]What second date!?[/sub]
The difference is that you women aren't supposed to want sex. You're supposed to acquiesce to it when a man goes through the proper ritual (like bringing an offering of shiny rocks). If you want sex for the sake of sex, you're screwing the whole game up. What are we supposed to do with all those shiny rocks? Hence why we pretty much by default assume that a woman who has a lot of sex is using sex to get something (money, emotional support, shiny rocks) rather than simply having a high sex drive. A woman having sex for the sake of sex (and enjoying it!) is ruinous to the whole game.Chemical Alia said:
As a girl, I've rejected the whole 'girls who sleep with guys are cheap' attitude when I've encountered it. I don't see sex as a purely romantic thing. I don't fall in love easily, and I have needs to fulfill, so casual sex it is. When done safe, I don't see the problem.
To me, sex is better with a partner you love and trust, but that doesn't mean that sex with someone else is bad per se. I don't think it objectifies women any more than it objectifies men, and I think the way people reason about sex and multiple partners in general is outdated and victorian.
To me, sex is better with a partner you love and trust, but that doesn't mean that sex with someone else is bad per se. I don't think it objectifies women any more than it objectifies men, and I think the way people reason about sex and multiple partners in general is outdated and victorian.
I don't find that it objectifies women at all. I have several female friends who love casual sex and find nothing wrong with it
I, on the other hand, hate it. I've never had a one night stand and never will. I love being in a relationship, having a girlfriend rocks. Casual sex really makes me uncomfortable. I love commitment
I, on the other hand, hate it. I've never had a one night stand and never will. I love being in a relationship, having a girlfriend rocks. Casual sex really makes me uncomfortable. I love commitment
I dont think the problem is with the sex itself so much as the double-standard. I don't think anyone has the right to dictate what someone does with their body. But society needs to get over the idea that a man should be congratulated for sleeping with a lot of women and a woman should be frowned upon for sleeping with a lot of men. I can't think of a single term for a woman who sleeps around w\that has a positive connotation, and only one for a man that DOESN'T have a positive connotation. And that one is more often used to describe gay men.
I do like the idea of casual sex. So long as you're safe it seems like a very enjoyable pasttime.
All I can say is that the reason women are looked down upon for engaging in casual sex while men aren't is that it's easy for most women to get sex, while this is not the case for men.
If women as a whole stopped holding back sex and embraced it with a casual nature, the whole gender-issue would disappear. However, as long as women insist on being picky with their partners, sexually promiscuous women will be looked down upon while men are not.
Edit: Seems I might have missed the topic a bit. Oh well.
All I can say is that the reason women are looked down upon for engaging in casual sex while men aren't is that it's easy for most women to get sex, while this is not the case for men.
If women as a whole stopped holding back sex and embraced it with a casual nature, the whole gender-issue would disappear. However, as long as women insist on being picky with their partners, sexually promiscuous women will be looked down upon while men are not.
Edit: Seems I might have missed the topic a bit. Oh well.