Poll: Chivalry

[Requi3m]

For sure, it's a shame, but attitudes like chivalry reinforce a lack of basic human politeness: chivalry is (I've yet to see this disproved) instrumental kindness, kindness to get some direct reward rather than for the sake of kindness.

Sorry, didn't read the whole thread, but I just needed to react on this statement. (I hope this hasn't been said already.)

I've recently come to the conclusion that everything we do, we do for ourselves. Basically, everyone is egocentric (at least up to some point). You are polite because you want people to like you, you want a good job to live luxuriously, etc. Everything you do results in some sort of gain for yourself, even if it's just feeling good about yourself doing what you think is right. Otherwise, why do it?

What I mean to say is, there is no kindness just for the sake of kindness.

 

[_Cake_]

Anyone who thinks it's dead is just lazy, bitter, or both.

 

[ADDLibrarian]

Being a lady, I interpret chivalry to be for the most part, "being kind and not being a dick". If you want to hold the door open for me, fine. I'm not gonna bite your head off. I know that you don't honestly think I can't handle it myself. But the kindness/chivalry thing works both ways. Let me get the next door for you. Just be polite. Treat others the way you want to be treated. That's all chivalry is.

 

[slopeslider]

I open doors for everyone and let others pass first. I don't do it for any reward/benefit/phone numbers, nor would I accept any. But if it makes a girl's day a little better, why wouldn't I do it? It doesn't cost anything. And when I do it to guys it seems like they have nothing against it too. So I do it for everyone. It can only help.

 

[TriGGeR_HaPPy]

If we're talking about the old..."offering my jacket/jumper when it's cold"... Then I guess that makes me chivalrous.

Hell- I do that for my friends that are dudes.

Yea, same.
Again, some of these things are now just common courtesy. Something small like that isn't really "chivalrous" anymore, so much as simply being nice...

 

[Tdc2182]

I am "accidently" chivalrous. I don't know if I should be acceptant of that or deal with it. I just think that a lady needs to be treated like a lady, sue me.

 

[StarStruckStrumpets]

In my area, your worth as a male is measured in three things:

1) How many girlfriends you've had.
2) How many of them you apparently 'loved'.
3) How big your Sergeant Johnson is reported to be.

Nobody in my area cares whether you're a nice guy or not, yet they complain when they are abused in their relationships and have their feelings shattered. I've stopped caring now. Chivalry is worthless, but that doesn't mean I'll give up on it, surely there are other respectable females in my generation that I will meet who aren't like that.

Right?

 

[magnuslion]

what you fail to reconcile is that politeness and respect to women is only one small part of true chivalry. Mercy, compassion, honor, duty and loyalty were all parts of the Knight's code. when someone is doing it to attract women, they are doin it wrong.

half-assed chivalry = EPIC FAIL

 

[jboking]

what you fail to reconcile is that politeness and respect to women is only one small part of true chivalry. Mercy, compassion, honor, duty and loyalty were all parts of the Knight's code. when someone is doing it to attract women, they are doin it wrong.

This man speaks the truth. Chivalry in it's truest form was focused around knights and a knight's honor. You had to maintain honor, civility, and your duty on both the battlefield and the home front. It was not directly towards women either. Honestly, I can be chivalrous towards anyone, no matter their gender.

The idea that chivalry is acting like a 'gentleman'(holding doors, pulling out chairs, etc.) could be considered a much more modern definition(so it could be called Modern Chivalry). What people in this thread are calling 'modern chivalry' can better be defined as 'common decency' which should be given to anyone at all times unless they give you sufficient reason not to provide it. Something that doesn't significantly hinder you in any way, but is just a passing fancy of something you could do, such as holding the door for anyone.

On the topic of chivalry's death. I would say it's been long dead. This modern chivalry all has a very superficial goal in mind. True chivalry is not goal oriented, it is simply a way to live. Choosing to be honor bound and kind, without expecting anything in return. That is chivalry, and it is dead.

 

[likalaruku]

Chivalry; when Colonol Mustard challenges you to a duel.

 

[Tonimata]

Some people say chivalry is sexist. I say it depends. If it doesn't get the point where the fellow won't let me do anything so I "don't have to lift a delicate finger" but he still opens doors for me or pops that jacket off his back when I'm cold, then I think it's great. It's always nice to be treated like a lady. I used to be able to expect that kind of behaviour from my boyfriend by now he has a pretty solid "do it yourself, wench" attitude. That's what happens when you date someone for a really long time, kids. v__v

Agreed. Chivalry, or in this case and from my point of view, is always necessary, well seen, and acceptable, so long as it doesn't get oppressive. When it does, it becomes more of an inane obsession.

 

[Vern]

I'll hold a door for anyone if I see they're trying to enter or exit the building. Regardless of if they're a poor bum, an attractive woman, an employed 30 year old man, or a 70 year old man or woman. If a person is an ass or a *****, I'll do less to help them, and I see nothing wrong with that. The only people that complain about chivalry being dead are middle aged women who read romance novels. Equality is a double standard, women have worked hard to get the rights they have, and they're very well deserved. However, with gaining the rights that males have, they've lost the diminutive status, and I say that's a good thing. They're treated as equals, and hence they don't require doors being opened for them, because it's understood that they can do it themselves. I'll treat everyone as an equal until they prove me wrong, which seems to happen quite often.

 

[alex1314159]

being polite and nice is good.

 

[Azure-Supernova]

In today's world, from what I have experienced myself, a good portion of men are jerks. With that said, I think perhaps more guys should be nice and actually treat women with respect and courtesy. Guys these days just don't know how to treat a girl right...etc. Not saying it's all guys though. I found a really great guy, who slowly wooed me as it were and treats me great. <3

I just really hate how in todays society, men just aren't into 'love', but are more into the physical part of a relationship. I mean, what happened to wanting to find someone to spend the rest of your life with? Just no one these days really wants to settle down, or they marry for all the wrong reasons and it ends up in divorce. Probably getting off subject but I feel I must say all this. xD And I am done with that. Onto something else.

I want everyone to treat eachother with respect, women and men alike. And with the whole opening doors thing, I'm so going to open the door for my Tom darling. ;D Of course though, I'm a romantic, if it wasn't obvious. Tom likes to say I'm drunk on love. But I'm just drunk on his love. :3

[http://img130.imageshack.us/i/1260503904346.png/]

I get that way with her sometimes... but most of the time it's kinda nice, like living in really good fiction!

 

[alinos]

chivalry is pointless because women dont care

i have no problem being nice to everyone but for some reason being a jerk always gets u more points

 

[Fragged_Templar]

Chivalry may be somewhat archaic, but I still feel it is an intrinsic part of being a respectable man in todays society

 

[Amardor]

Let me put it this way.

In a same sex relationship.

Two Men, Neither will be "Chivalrous"

Two Women, Neither will be "Chivalrous"

Why? Because both partners see each other as equal, Now I don't mean to say they act like arrogant rude bastards, let's not get into a straw man argument here. The facts remain that a same sex-relationship is always equal because being of the same gender is the same playing field.

Yet when we compare a Opposite Sex relationship, The male will act in accordance to being the one who is the "Bread Winner" the one who "protects" his wife/spouse/partner/woman.

A heterosexual relationship that is purely equal does not make chivalry a special thing, it makes it a normal thing that BOTH partners do unto each other.

My girlfriend and I have a equal relationship because we live similar lives.

Both College students, Both live Near one another, And both will do things to show affection without trying to out do or do "more" than the other. During Valentines day we spend it together and don't bother with gifts but rather things we can enjoy, Candles at home etc. Things to make the day great.

We split the check or one of us pays because WE SHARE BANK ACCOUNTS its Our money when one of us pays the WHOLE bill. It's not my money when I pay the whole thing, its already being half paid by me and her if I pay the whole sum.

Chivalry isn't dead, it should simply be changed to "Courtesy" for your partner.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

I am, therefore I disregard your rather specious reasoning.