Poll: Choices: Friend or Lover

[holy_secret]

I was away on a eurotrip for two months. During the last parts of it, I decided to stay in Paris for the whole month of August.
On the forth day, I met someone. We instantly connected and fell in love immediately.

As time went on, we started to see where this was going. There was a huge obstacle in the way though; I live in Sweden, and he in France.

To make things short, I want to move there in order to give this a shot. A real one. I am not too keen on having a long distance relationship, so that is not an option.

I talked to my closest friend in Sweden about this. After explaining everything, I asked him if it was okay for him that I moved away.

"If you want to move, I will not stop you. It is your life and I want you to do your things. But I am going to be honest with you and say that if you do move, our friendship will change. If things do not work out and you decide to come back, things will not be the same. I don't want to put any pressure on you or to lie to you. I will try my best, but I can't promise we can return to where we were. The thought of losing you is already making me wanting to create a distance in order to be able to survive not having you around."

So I have a choice. An extremly hard one. It is not a choice I have to make yet, but it will show up eventually.
I truly don't know what to do with this. Should I take the shot? Should I move away? Or should I simply stay in Sweden and keep my closest friend? Am I a bad person for even considering abandoning my family in order to be with someone I just met?

I need some input. I need a brainstorm. I would talk to him about this, but he is really not taking this well. If you have any honest opinions, cruel or friendly, I am willing to hear them.

So what will it be? Relationship or Friendship? What is more important in the long run?

EDIT: I feel like I need to specify this. I am not saying that I will move to France forever just for his sake. What I am actually considering is to go France for a short time to see if we are compatible or not. If things still work, we can start making plans for the future. Both he and I are aware of the retardedness that would be.
As of now, he doesn't want me to do anything impulsive or stupid, such as moving to France for him. The last thing he wants is to know that I've sacrificed things for him and that it could be all in vain. He's also scared shit of hurting me. This is his biggest concern.
So no, I would not move there. Not yet anyways.
This is about the test time to give us a real and normal try. To get to know each other. I do not want to do this over the internet.
Thanks
EDIR 2: He is a brony. We make brony jokes ALL the time. Ever kissed someone in bed and then said "Do you think Celestia would approve of this in her kingdom or would we just banished to the everfree forest?" just to see a smile?

 

[Aprilgold]

FORGET MY POINT-AAAAAAA!
No, do what you wish, I don't want to make less sense re-typing.

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

Stay with your friend. Meet a nice lad in Sweden.

EDITed for gender. Doesn't change my point one bit.

 

[holy_secret]

Friendship is not to difference from love, other then the obvious XXX actions.
Again, if you and her / him are comfortable with it, then by all means, let yourselves fall in love if you are great friends. Just note that it can be tough, but it will be worth it in the end.

-snipped, but quoted so you could see-

Dude. You are implying that I want to fall in love with my friend.
The point is if I should move to France in order to be with the person I fell in love with (who is french), or if I should stay in Sweden in order to keep my best friend in my life.

Just want to make sure we didn't misunderstand each other

 

[KiloFox]

go for it... i'm not saying ditch your friend... you wanna keep in contact... but i left all my close friends, whom i consider my family. back in California when i moved to Florida to be with my boyfriend. we talk all the time over Skype and play games online. and stay really close. yeah, things may not be exactly the same between us. but we'll stay friends. and keeping a lover long distance is almost destined to fail. i chose love, and it's worked great for me so far. i'd like to see you take my experience and make your own decision.

(quoted so you'd get the notification)

 

[Kaymish]

stick with your friend he will always be with you but the lover will not likely stay for ever at your age remember you are only 21-22 (if the B date on your profile is correct OFC)and there will be plenty more lovers out there for you but friends are rare and they should be cherished and this one is a good one and honest and letting that go for some guy you "love" is some thing i view as foolishness

 

[Biosophilogical]

Friendship is not to difference from love, other then the obvious XXX actions.
Again, if you and her / him are comfortable with it, then by all means, let yourselves fall in love if you are great friends. Just note that it can be tough, but it will be worth it in the end.

-snipped, but quoted so you could see-

Dude. You are implying that I want to fall in love with my friend.
The point is if I should move to France in order to be with the person I fell in love with (who is french), or if I should stay in Sweden in order to keep my best friend in my life.

Just want to make sure we didn't misunderstand each other

I think Aprilgold was actually saying that you could fall in love with your best friend yet have no sexual attraction to them. It is a purely platonic relationship that has the same emotional meaning as a loving sexual relationship. Just because the french guy involves sex doesn't mean that a relationship with him is more emotionally fulfilling.

I think you need to ask yourself who you love more: French lover, or best friend (and be very careful not to confuse love with lust).

 

[Robert Ewing]

Stay with your friend man, relationships like this rarely work. Find a nice Swedish girl.

 

[WolfThomas]

Friends certainly are very important, but true love is well true love and you'd hate to regret missing that opportunity for the rest of your life, if that is the case. And any friend who won't welcome you back after taking such a chance and failing isn't a great friend after all.

Stay with your friend. Meet a nice girl in Sweden.

Find a nice Swedish girl.

The OP said "he" and is a "he" so I don't know if that'd help.

 

[Scythax]

Stay with your friend. Meet a nice girl in Sweden.

Guy*. It helps to read the actual post properly.

Speaking as someone in a rather long-er distance relationship than yours could end up as (I'm Australian, my girl (currently) lives in Idaho, about 8000miles away), and having been strongly together as such for nearly 12 months now, I don't think you need to make this decision on the spot yet. Think back to when you were a kid, and your parents told you "If you really do want this, wait a while and think about it. If you're still thinking about it in another few days, you'll know it's what you truly want." or something to that effect. Same principle. Up and moving your entire life for someone you met (I'm assuming) less than a month ago isn't sensible. Keep in touch long distance. Evaluate if you think it's truly going to work out for you. You're friend in Sweden sounds like a great person, don't leave them on a whim.

I'm not saying don't go, I'm saying be smart about the decision. Take time to know the person you're considering moving countries to be with, from a distance first, THEN if you still feel as strongly in another month as you do now, do it. And whatever your decision, good luck.
=)

 

[s0p0g]

hmm, move to another country to try to live with someone whom you fell in love with immediately (as in: won't last long anyway as there is no common basis; you just do not know each other. BUT telling this someone whose hormons are trying to turn summersaults while riding a rollercoaster with loopings and srews may prove itself being pointless ), or not getting your heart broken after maybe some weeks, maybe a couple of months, and stay where you have solid social ties?

friendships are for a lifetime. neuro-chemical dysbalance is not.

 

[Wapox]

Swedish people are so awesome.. and look amazing... French people just have Paris and well.. the French Kiss.. that everyone already stole.. xD

 

[notcotterX]

Hmmm, tough decision. While true love might be waiting for you in France, best friends are more valuable than anything in my opinion. Maybe you could go to France again to see if this guy is really what you saw on the eurotrip. Personally, I would keep the friend in Sweden, as to not hurt his feelings, but if you choose France-Man, see if you can make it so you can keep what you can of that friendship in Sweden, because he seems to be really attached (Sounds like Sweden-Man likes you a lot). I hope this mess of a paragraph helps!

 

[Aprilgold]

Friendship is not to difference from love, other then the obvious XXX actions.
Again, if you and her / him are comfortable with it, then by all means, let yourselves fall in love if you are great friends. Just note that it can be tough, but it will be worth it in the end.

-snipped, but quoted so you could see-

Dude. You are implying that I want to fall in love with my friend.
The point is if I should move to France in order to be with the person I fell in love with (who is french), or if I should stay in Sweden in order to keep my best friend in my life.

Just want to make sure we didn't misunderstand each other

Did I just mess up my carpet from a brain fart, shit, I thought you meant that your best friend was VERY far away, and that you wanted to fall in love with him, or stay best friends, well, that was my oppsie on the carpet.

Friendship is not to difference from love, other then the obvious XXX actions.
Again, if you and her / him are comfortable with it, then by all means, let yourselves fall in love if you are great friends. Just note that it can be tough, but it will be worth it in the end.

-snipped, but quoted so you could see-

Dude. You are implying that I want to fall in love with my friend.
The point is if I should move to France in order to be with the person I fell in love with (who is french), or if I should stay in Sweden in order to keep my best friend in my life.

Just want to make sure we didn't misunderstand each other

I think Aprilgold was actually saying that you could fall in love with your best friend yet have no sexual attraction to them. It is a purely platonic relationship that has the same emotional meaning as a loving sexual relationship. Just because the french guy involves sex doesn't mean that a relationship with him is more emotionally fulfilling.

I think you need to ask yourself who you love more: French lover, or best friend (and be very careful not to confuse love with lust).

No, I just had a oopsie while typing, so I didn't understand what he meant.

 

[EmperorSubcutaneous]

haha typical girl thoughts.

its laughable, you want to move to FRANCE for a dude. Wow thats pretty low if you ask me guess how long it would hold. 3 years max, and what are you going to do? go back to sweden? And what about a job?

honestly find someone in sweden...

in german we got a saying but it only applies to men its called "Bruder vor Luder" means "brother before whore"
Women would have it alot easier if they had things like principles...

u trollin?

The OP is a guy.

 

[WolfThomas]

haha typical girl thoughts.

its laughable, you want to move to FRANCE for a dude. Wow thats pretty low if you ask me guess how long it would hold. 3 years max, and what are you going to do? go back to sweden? And what about a job?

honestly find someone in sweden...

in german we got a saying but it only applies to men its called "Bruder vor Luder" means "brother before whore"
Women would have it alot easier if they had things like principles...

Er he's a dude. Read the OP.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

My honest opinion? If your friend takes it that badly you should probably just stay. I hate to say it but a romance like that isn't very likely to last, though it could. The real question is... are you willing to risk it?

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I'd stay in your home country. You can find another girlfriend/boyfriend but it will take time to find a new best friend to fill that void your friend will leave. Not to mention the costs of uprooting in these uncertain times for a relationship you just barely had time to start.

That's my feelings on it but ultimately its you who will have to make the decision OP.

EDIT: Is this test run what your friend is freaking out over? If you're not going 'forever' then I think this is an overreaction.