Poll: Could you stay with someone who hates what you're passionate for?

[Sansha]

You don't have to be into the same stuff all the time. It's important to have your own pursuits, independent of each other.

He should stop disrespecting you like he does saying it's stupid and you're wrong, but you should stop bringing it up if that's how it always ends. He's just not into it; find someone else who is.

Like me, actually, I fucking love talking about that kinda stuff.

 

[Johann610]

It's gonna come up in conversation. It's gonna come up whenever you say "not tonight, honey"--in that the response is "what, too much [thing I hate]?" It's gonna come up when you travel, when you stay late at the office, and so on. All the paraphernalia will be dismissed as "that $%%&". Any friends who share this will be "those losers / perverts", and heaven HELP you if one of them is pretty.
And every time it does, she will be ready to have a plate-tossing, knock-down, drag-out fight over it. Every time you have this fight, she will bring up the times you did it anyway, and it hurt her. Every time, the relationship will go through a cooling off that might last hours.
Save time, break the deal now.

 

[BathorysGraveland]

Sure, I guess. If she hates my music so much, I can just listen to it on headphones and she won't have to hear it. If she tells me I have to stop listening to it however.. once I have defeated the urge to give her a nice, swift backhand.. I would tell her to fuck off and stick her relationship up her arse. I can tolerate people not liking what I like, but when they try and dictate shit to me, just no.

 

[BabyRaptor]

No couple is perfect. My boyfriend and I aren't clones when it comes to interests (ask him about me going off on a political rant) but we make it work anyway.

As long as the person doesn't try and stop you from doing what you want, and they make an attempt at meeting you half way, then you should be fine.

 

[LookAtYouHacker]

Can you give me a precise example of one of your arguments? I presume you cannot remember much, but I would desperately like to know.

And by the way, I care about Existentialism and Space related science...

 

[Yopaz]

I doubt I could live with that. I am passionate about evolution, biology and genetics. I don't think I could bear living with someone who hated those things. Someone who didn't share my interest would be OK, but not someone who hated it. I can settle on a lot of things, but not on those important passions.

 

[ImperialSunlight]

My passions are history, philosophy and art. If a person does not understand the immense value of these subjects to society then I have no use for them. Much less if they outright hate these things. I would have nothing to do with the person.

 

[RedDeadFred]

No. Though I doubt there is anyone out their who actually hates music... unless they were born deaf and they resented that other people could hear its beauty. I'm probably looking into that way to much though.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Sounds to me like you need to talk to him about how this makes you feel.

In answer to your question though, yeah I would; provided of course that she respected that I was into whatever it was and didn't make a big issue about it.

 

[rubinigosa]

I would not be abel to have a relationship with someone that hates my passions.
It would be fine with a small disslike but hating my passions...Oh,hell no!
How can you even hate food and art ??

 

[Da Orky Man]

Two things I LOVE talking about is Existentialism and Space related science.

Maybe not so much about the Existentialism, but with the space science, I'm with you. I don't think I could stay with someone who actively dislikes my passions, like someone who thinks space xploration is a wate of money. I applaud you for staying with him this long.

http://www.projectrho.com/rocket/

Check out the link. It will bring you hours worth of enjoyment.

 

[krellen]

It just seems like a waste tho, being with someone for 2 years and saying "nah I don't think it will work".

You must still be pretty young, Riki. In time, two years won't seem like that much.

That's what the whole dating thing is for, though - finding out whether you mesh. The fact that you're asking this question already tells me this thing is important to you, and you're looking for some support or advice on this. Clearly what he does bothers you.

So you really do have to ask yourself a more simple question: would you rather have your passion, or him? If you could give up your passion for him, he might be worth it. If you can't, two years is not too long to realise it's not right.

 

[Nouw]

Depends on whether or not they want me to stop. If they just don't like it, that's fine. I don't like a few things but that shouldn't stop a relationship. If they actively want to steer me away from it, I'm afraid that's too far.

 

[MetalMagpie]

Do they want nothing to do with it or will they actively attempt to stop you from pursuing it?

If it's live and let live, go with it. If they want to stop you from your passion, you won't be happy and you'll resent them for it, which will poison the relationship and kill it anyway.

Basically this. There are a number of things I'm passionate about that my boyfriend hates, and vice versa. But we're both fine with it and neither is out to ruin the other's fun.

To the thread starter, sounds like your boyfriend could do with growing up a bit and realising that relationships need work.

 

[Vhite]

Yes, I like me some opposition. But only in case we are both reasonable about that one thing that we both have extremly different opinions about.

I'm actually like this with my best friend. We both love strategy and RPG games yet I could probably count games that we both like on fingers of one hand.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

If you know he gets annoyed by the topics, why do you keep trying to talk to him about them? You're never going to find someone who is completely interested in what you're interested in, and trying to force them onto another person is kind of selfish.

At least he is being honest and not pretending to be interested in what you have to talk about.

 

[Palademon]

If someone who disrespects video games is otherwise the perfect perosn for me, I shall just act smug as I play, and smugger if I get rich from making games one day...

But I really doubt they'd be perfect for me, and considering how video games are one of my few interests, it would probably be too much for me to deal with.

 

[BringBackBuck]

People show their true selves when doing the things they love. Their deepest emotions come out, the most beautiful aspects of their beings.
To disrespect that part of a person is equal to taking a piss on their soul. "Yeah, I love you but keep your stupid bull shit to yourself". That's not love.
This quote comes to mind:
"Love isn't about looking at each other, it's about looking in the same direction".

Don't take it personal but in the long run, I don't think it will last.

Feel free to disagree, of course.

Yeah, I;m going to have to disagree with you on this. You fall in love with someone well before you check off every single interest you have and ensure you agree on every philosophy, religious belief, hobby, skill.

A relationship works well if you have interests in common and can share things together, and interests apart where you can go away and do your own shit without your partner.

OP sounds like they have met someone very compatible, share a sense of humour, have common interests (video games), and have some interests they don't share (talking random nerdy shit). Sounds like an absolute winner OP, I think it is just about the perfect relationship.

 

[WaReloaded]

I showed 'Army of Darkness' to my ex-fiancée and she absolutely hated it, couldn't even sit through half of the film. I knew it was doomed from that moment but I kept at it, I kept trying to make it work but to no avail.