Poll: Do we nice guys still stand a chance?

[Mr S]

This question is for all the ladies (especially the Dutch ones):
Are girls still interested in nice guys or is there really no more hope for us?

It has recently (past 17 years) come to my attention that a lot of men act like jerks in front of women, and the women seem to be enjoying it. Which leads me to think that women nowadays are attracted to complete douches.

(Un)fortunately, I don't belong to that specific group, and I consider myself to be a nice and confident guy.
In fact, my last date said it wasn't gonna work out because I was too nice.
Now I've tried to be a jerk, but I don't like myself anymore when I do that.
And neither do other people, so it would seem I am doing something terribly wrong.

Is there still any chance for us? We are just regular guys, except for that we aren't complete douches.

Also I've noticed that especially city girls are attracted to jerks, please comment on that too

Ok, I've read the replies and I'd like to delve deeper in the "some do like nice guys, some like jerks" thing. Now I believe that. Problem is I can't seem to find the ones that like nice guys. I just run into jerk-loving girls OR girls that already are in relations with other nice guys.

 

[Zantos]

This is something very important to us nice guys, please answer truthfully and honestly. Unless the answer is no there is no hope for us, then lie to make us feel better.

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

I'm not interested in dating, so being relegated to the funny, somewhat lame guy friend works perfectly for me. I don't notice any "bad guy" trends.

 

[SckizoBoy]

I went into this thinking: 'Nope, not a chance in hell. Next question, please.'

However, depending on who you ask, I'm not 'nice'.

 

[gigastar]

Be nice all you like, just make sure you know how to turn the niceness off then the shit inevitably hits the fan.

 

[JokerCrowe]

cue everyone and their dog talking about confidence..
I'm a nice guy, but I'm too nice so I aways end up in the friend zone. And yes I'm putting the blame squarely on myself.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I'm a rather decent guy and treat women as more then 3 holes to stick myself in, and that usually has girls willing to start a relationship wth me. Or at least make us friends. I think nice guys will always have a chance really.

 

[Kathinka]

don't despair^^
the kind of girl that is atracked to the jerk-like idiotic jock that treats her like shit is usually the really shallow kind. you don't want anything longterm with someone like that anyway.

* <== happily together with a guy rather of the nice variety since 7 years *

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Of course there is. I always thought that more girls really did like the nice guys, well, the mature ones of course. Don't worry nice guys, you definitely have the chance.

Nice girls want nice guys.

 

[Sethzard]

To quote old harry's game "It's the niceness that makes you so un-exciting, that's why women are bastards". I don't agree with this but I wanted to get it in here.
I think it depends on the woman, and it's not necessarily not being 'nice' as being too 'normal' be a bit crazy, reasonably safe but willing to let your hair down every now and then.

 

[silverbullet1989]

i often find this to be ture, as a 21 year old male, all ive seen around me are my mates (whom some are complete 2wats) go out with all the girls ive known for years and are really close friends with, and all they do is act like complete jerks to them, n i really really dont understand it, i would sooner be alone then act like a dick tbh...

 

[manythings]

Confidence. Nice and nasty are not a factor (except when a girl is specifically looking for it, then it's probably daddy issues which involves drama you don't need) so don't let movies and tv tell you how to try and get a woman. You'll be led astray. TALK to a woman, don't be nice, don't be a jerk, JUST TALK. Be honest about what you like, tell her what you think. If you have to lie then the relationship will break on that point later on.

Confidence. If you are afraid to be you in front of a girl she'll think you're just afraid of girls. Also, cause it bears repeating, Confidence.

 

[Jordi]

I very much doubt that most ladies would admit to preferring jerks. The problem is that a nice guy sounds like the right choice in theory, and most people would agree that that is what you should go for, but when feelings get involved it can be an entirely different story. In other words: even if women say that they prefer nice guys, doesn't make it necessarily so. (Sorry for basically calling half the world liars.)

Having said that, I think there are plenty of girls who like nice guys. And also, that is not a guarantee that they will like you, even if you are a nice guy.

 

[Outright Villainy]

Oh look, it's thi...

What the picture says.

Anyways, some girls like jerks, but most just like guys who are confident. And some like shy guys, and some even like entitled assholes who complain about the friendzone (not directed at the Op, but the amount of guys on this site which pull this bullshit is astonishing.)

The secret you see, is not all women are the same. I know, crazy, but sweeping generalisations of a gender won't really curry you any favours with said gender.

You know, in general that is.

 

[Averant]

They don't like jerks. Just be exciting.

*looks at all the bad relationships going on in and around highschool*

Yeah, think I'll savor my bachelorhood.

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

I voted "What the fuck?"

Feels like I made a difference.

No, I don't think that most girls are interested in nice guys.

 

[Signa]

The way I see it is if they want to be miserable by being with a jerk and not an nice guy, then that girl is not for you. There shouldn't even be a question of "having a chance".