Floppertje said:
gamer_parent said:
helpful post is helpful, thanks bro. I think I've actually got most of it down. I think my biggest problem is that I'm really awful at reading women. when I'm talking to one at a party, I never know when to ask her to dance, when to get closer, when to kiss her (although the last bit went by itself the one time it happened)
also, I apparently think girls are interested too soon. there was this girl who asked me to go with her to the train station after a party, which I took to mean 'I don't want to say goodbye just yet', so the next time it happened I asked her out, and she was totally surprised (and, due to a personal crisis, panicked and gave the worst possible answer. EVER.). then there was this other girl who I could've sworn was flirting with me. except she was British and apparently flirting works differently there. who knew girls were wired by postal codes?
"Wired by postal code" sounds like it could be an awesome song, just sayin'.
Glad to be of help. Well, there are a couple of things you when it comes to girl's receptiveness towards your advances, a lot of it you can get tail-tells from physical touch. Obviously, things like grabbing her hand while sitting there might be too much, but then things like just sitting there cuddling are way too vague. However, in MOST cases, there are little things you can try. i.e. if you're sitting across from her, touch the side of your foot to her foot, if she feels it, and immediately recoils, it's still too early. Apologize immediately about stepping on her foot, pretend you didn't mean to do it, and play it off.
another one is when you guys are trying to make it through a crowd. If YOU know where you're going, and she doesn't, just grab her hand and pull her along. It will look like you're just trying to make sure she doesn't lose you in the crowd. If she recoils right there, well, might as well give up there. But if she doesn't? well, still not a definite yet. But AFTER you guys are through, see what she does. If she let's go first, hmm... maybe too early. but it could also be TOTALLY natural for her too... in which case... something to think about.
the point is, you gotta know how to advance in small increments to test the waters. (if you're the sort who wants to play it cool) Now, if you're NOT the sort who is afraid of getting rejected, well, I've seen a guy walk up to a girl and say, "hey, you wanna get out of here?" as his opening line and get the girl. The guy in question was a friend of mine back in college, and he basically did a shotgun approach, doing this to easily over 20 girls that night. Can't say much for his character, but hey, the math works.
Now, there's a caveat to all of this. Some girls are NOT comfortable with physical contact, even if they have good feelings about a guy. My sister was like that growing up, which was why she pretty much never dated. In THOSE situations, well... this is where being the patient stoic helps. But that's a whole different thing all together.
Also, physical contact is also why I suggest guys who want to have an easier time dating take up dancing. I don't mean something like say, break dancing or some solo performance. there's nothing wrong with those kinds of dances, it's just that for the purpose of establishing physical contact, it's not as effective. No, I mean social dancing like say, ballroom or tango. Knowing how to do this is like having a cheat. Want to know more about a girl and her temperament without having to take timid steps around her? Salsa or Tango to the rescue! See here, you establish instant physical contact, and if you're any good, you make her feel AWESOME on the dance floor. Obviously, because we're talking about social dancing, certain conventions like how appropriate is it to grab a girl's hand right away are now gone. But here's the beauty of it: when you dance with a girl, you generally can get a very good feeling on how she feels about you. Physical chemistry is one of the most POWERFUL components of attraction. While there is no sure fire way of fostering physical chemistry (short of some voodoo PUA stuff), a dance is the ultimate litmus test of your physical chemistry together. If there is none, no sweat. You still got a dance out of her, and she might just be really cool. If she seems into you? JACKPOT!!
