Poll: Do you believe that humans are half?

[censorgrrl]

How are we supposed to learn about ourselves and the world if not by being 'in relationship' with other people? Just because one relationship is terrible (or 6, or 15), doesn't mean the relationship has no value. Self-absorption is a poor substitute for self-knowledge, and we do best when we never limit ourselves, never stop wondering, never stop being interested in life's rich pageant.

Sometimes we find a "partner," either temporarily or for a long time, who really helps us to grow and change and learn things about our values, our emotions, our limits, our capacity for pleasure, our priorities. No amount of theory, biological or philosophical, can offer the same challenge, or the same reward.

 

[hooblabla6262]

I had been considering starting my own thread on a similar topic.

Essentially, I was getting a little tired of people demonizing one night stands or serial monogamy versus the more traditional long-term relationship. It took several past relationships for me to realize that I much preferred to be single.
My true love is freedom.

Needing someone else to maintain your happiness can lead to a seriously unstable life.
I am currenlty dating a girl who seems to base most of her good mood on being around me. I can tell you that it is stressful knowing that I have to keep her together.

Go for the trifecta of happiness.
Something to love.
Something to do.
Something to dream of.

 

[shrekfan246]

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume you had some horrible relationship experiences.

It's probably best that he's not interested in relationships. I've seen enough angry parents to know what road that could very easily lead down.

OT: Personally, I don't care for being single, but that's because I don't like spending my nights alone. I would hardly say I'm less complete, though, as I'm probably actually happier now than I was during my last relationship, during the end of which I hardly ever actually looked forward to not being alone.

 

[JokerCrowe]

Uh... wrong forum? Not quite sure what this has to do with Gaming Discussion.

Yeah, I really suck at noticing stuff like that... I rarely make threads, so when I do, I always have trouble making the entire thing correct. Sometimes I forget to add a title and other times (really more often than not) I don't put it in the appropriate archive... >_<

 

[manic_depressive13]

Romantic relationship? Absolutely not. But as social creatures I believe a deep, meaningful emotional connection with another person is necessary for happiness, whether they be friends, family or romantic partner.

 

[theLadyBugg]

I *am* in a serious, long-term relationship right now, it makes me way happy to be living life in co-op mode, and I still voted an emphatic NO! For lots of reasons. Lots of people here have already said that you don't need to be with somebody all the time to be happy, and that there are more important things in life than finding a romantic relationship, and that's absolutely true. I totally agree with all of those people.

But even more so, people who feel that a relationship, ANY relationship, is a must, are usually people who aren't happy on their own for other reasons, and staying with somebody is just a way of burying that lack of happiness in another person instead of coping it it on their own. Or just a case of seriously mislaid priorities, which is likely the case with many of your friends because...well, because you're all rather young and it's unlikely that most, if any of them, have found THE relationship, so they're just happy with what works right now. Which is completely fine, of course, but hardly makes them authority figures on what you need for the long-term.

Also...the best relationships don't require you (or them) to be "half." What makes them great, and complicated, is that it isn't two halves clicking into one now-functional perfect human whole, it's two complete people deciding every day to be together, to help each other, and to generally have a partner for life's adventures. So before you can really be ready for that, if you even want it, you have to learn how to be whole on your own.

 

[ImperialSunlight]

I haven't ever been in a relationship and have no major desire to right now. If I died without ever having been in a relationship, I wouldn't really care (and not just because I'm dead).

(Though admittedly, I don't have any friends either, so relationships are the least of my problems)

I don't think so, no. The requirements to have a happy life are different for everyone. If getting into a relationship is an important thing to someone, I'd say that is a requirement for them to have a happy life, otherwise no.

 

[thegingerone]

The whole other half thing is silly. Sure human beings need love and affection, but nobody is your other half. Plato made up this metaphor to explain the feeling of love. I think that you need to feel whole by yourself in order to be in a fulfilling relationship with someone else. Every time I've ever looked for something I felt I was missing in someone else it has totally blown up in my face. Just my two cents.

 

[Exius Xavarus]

Not a chance. You don't need a significant other, in order to be happy.

 

[zumbledum]

"maybe I should just give up my search, I mean there are other ways to become happy, right?".

My friends (who are in relationships btw) didn't agree. "There is nothing that can compare to the happiness of being in a relationship. Sure, you could try to be happy on your own, become a monk in Tibet and just eat rice for the rest of your life, but everything is better when you're in a relationship with someone"... Ouch.

I'd like to think that the meaning of life is to try to be as happy as possible for the little time we have, and if I were to go by my friends' statement, the only way to achieve this is to be in a relationship. Like some big fucking checklist:

"Job?"
"Check!"
"Home?"
"Check!"
"Friends?"
"Check!"
"Money?"
"Check!"
"Relationship?"
"No..."
"Well then I'm afraid you still haven't met the requirements to have a rich, fulfilling and happy life..."

let me guess your age , your around early to mid 20's?
As you get older their argument will change to kids making everything worthwhile and eventually around to how they wish they were you.
People are making life decisions that will impact every day going forward , believe me they want to claim they were right.

Truth is every benefit has negative and negatives lead to benefits. There are massive benefits to a relationship , but they arent free.

Happiness is a false grail, when you experience a moment better than your average you will be happy , when you experience moments worse than your average you will sad. it doesnt matter where you average is on the scale you will adapt to it being the norm.

If you want to enjoy a great meal try not eating for a few days before hand, if you want to appreciate a friend spend some time without them.

What you are looking for comes from within not from outside, you need to work out who you are. we are all products of our environment, we all have drives and desires based on our experiences, work out what yours are to know who you are, then build a life that feeds those drives.
Do this and you will be content and at peace with yourself and will find yourself able to savour any joy that comes your way and endure any negatives life throws at you.


We are social creatures, and a good relationship is a big asset, but you can get the essentials from friends and family to , either way they may make it easier to walk your own path , but you still have to find it walk it your own self.

 

[tehroc]

My life needs to be balanced in order for me to be happy. Sexual, Social, Spiritual if all three of these are balanced I'm at my most content.

 

[Product Placement]

The Hebrew bible treats the creation myth so that when God created the perfect being and found that it was lonely, he split it in half, forming the man and the woman. Thus marriage was the ultimate union for it symbolized the joining of the two halves; it represents perfection. It's thanks to several translations worth of changes and being adopted into a male dominated organized religion, that made "half" turn into "rib" and "companion" turn into "servant".

In Hindu tradition, Marriage is considered to be the apex of your life cycle; the holiest moment of your life, when you're most pure. It's pretty much all downhill from there, because the next recognizable milestone in your life is your death.

Point being, these did not become the social norms without a reason. We were literally bred to desire long lasting relationships. For you see, us humans did something that, from an evolutionary standpoint, would be considered incredibly counterproductive and started having offsprings that require multiple years worth of care before they're even semi-capable of fending for themselves. This requires allot of effort, in order to make sure that your seed continues into the next generation. As a result, babies of parents that were quick to abandon them, were less likely to survive and thus their characteristics were weeded out of the social gene pool. Fathers that stayed loyal to the woman that they impregnated saw their reward in form of descendants. Children raised in such environment, not only shared similar characteristics as their parents, but also remember what it was like to be raised in the care of two parents. As a result, they were likely to behave in the same way.

Fast forward hundreds, if not thousands of generations later and these behavioral tendencies are not only considered to be normal, but also the status quo that we should strive to maintain. This opens up the question of nature vs nurture, where we ask if we think in this way because our genetics demand that we seek out a soulmate, to love and cherish as the two of you raise your children, or if you were programmed by the social norms that you're exposed to, during your upbringing, in the forms of witnessing your friends and family members in stable relationships and fairytales/movies where the guy gets the girl and they live happily ever after.

Long story short. Love is complex. Don't expect an easy answer to this question.

 

[JellySlimerMan]

Can't you just masturbate like everyone else? even Jim Sterling does it, so its totally safe

The only way you should be worried about is when you become self sufficient like this gentleman over here:
1:24

 

[TheLycanKing144]

Human beings were not meant to be alone, God made us for someone else and we have to find that person. But there are apparently a few people out there who don't mind being alone their whole lives, I don't understand why but that's what they want to do. But it has been proven that people who are married live longer than people that do not.

Also:"One cannot be happy with someone else until they're happy by themself" is pretty spot on. Kudos to Milk for saying this. You have to like yourself first before you enter a relationship.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

A lot of these posts are from people that clearly have no idea what it's even like to be in a relationship. I think it's asinine to try to validate your existence through being in a relationship, but I'd also say it's just as asinine to suggest that there's no possible way that another human being can enhance your life. Is it NECESSARY, fuck no, but if you can find someone who will be helpful and supportive to the kind of lifestyle that makes you happy, being in a relationship will actually make your life easier. It doesn't have to be the conventional model of a relationship either, that's another thing to keep in mind.

Though maybe I've got a skewed perspective too. I didn't do relationships, then I got tired of having to put effort into having casual sex and started dating my best friend so I kind of skipped a lot of that trial and error courtship stuff, which I assume is awful.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well no, we are neither whole nor half, just imperfect, and two imperfect people do not make a perfect one.
It can be more bearable getting through life with a helping hand, but at the same time one must consider you will be dealing with your partners problems just the same as your own, which can quickly flip things around from all the goodie feelings into absolutely awful and stifling.

New love birds will see thing it as perfection because they are still in the infatuation haze and their endorphin levels are raised even higher then that of a heavy heroin user, you can't really take them seriously as they are in a involuntary state of bliss.
I've gone through that a couple of times, it is a great ride but once it's over the crash is quite severe, especially if you've actually been with someone horribly wrong for you the entire time without realizing it.

 

[ScrabbitRabbit]

I'm currently in a relationship and happier than I was when I was single, but I definitely didn't feel incomplete. Past relationships didn't change my outlook on life whatsoever, though doing the sex is usually nice.

 

[cerebreturns]

Happiness is objective and relative.

It's also based on the major Axiom(s) in your life.

Do I believe all people have the same Axiom? No, not at all.


In a religious sense I do believe that we as people were created with the intent of being with the oppisit sex in a loving holy relationship that helps us grow stronger for the glory of God.

But even in that I believe that there are some people who are not called to experience it, though they are by far a minority.


True happiness can only be found in a relationship with Christ.


So I guess overall the answer is yes, and that person who is required for our relationship and that will make us happy is Christ.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

This one really depends on how you choose to look at it.

If we were still somewhat in sync with ourselves, mother nature, common sense and our animal roots, fucking each other like animals and making a good number of babies is really the only way to go to preserve the species and maintain the position our ancestors allowed us to inherit. We got big brains, we gotta use them... for the better, if possible.

Then again, the majority of (well) educated, averagely smart and adequately independent amongst us (and those that strive to be such) will say: nay, we're above that! We're no animals! We know better!

And then they totally ruin the moment by posting this in a gaming thread.

Too bad.

To create some gaming context out of these black hole levels of nothingness: In cultured collections of words, purposefully assembled into 'stories', romance and its seemingly less elaborate sibling, sex are strong driving forces and motivations. Our heady denaturated selves seem to take offense at that. I find that rather odd, if not outright discombobulating.

My strongest argument in discussion like this is usally this:

OOK OOK.

captcha: jay gatsby

 

[repeating integers]

I almost fell off my fucking chair. If I could give you a literal internet, you'd have it. Best snip message ever.

Anyway.

OP, I wouldn't know exactly how fulfilling a relationship can be as I've yet to get into one, but my advice is that if you're happy going relationship-less then just stick to that. Don't force yourself to do something you don't want to based on peer pressure, because from experience I can ensure you that never ends well.