Poll: Do you believe that humans are half?

[gazumped]

Firstly, relationships - just like everything - have the potential to be good or bad. They can make your life miserable just as easily as they can make it happy, depending on who you're with and what situation you're in.

Secondly, I'd say that on this list:

"Job?"
"Check!"
"Home?"
"Check!"
"Friends?"
"Check!"
"Money?"
"Check!"
"Relationship?"
"No..."
"Well then I'm afraid you still haven't met the requirements to have a rich, fulfilling and happy life..."

all of those things (so long as they are good, and not the kind that makes you miserable) can bring your 'happiness meter' up, none of them are necessarily more valuable than others and you'd have to be one lucky son'a'***** to have it going good in ALL of those areas.

Thirdly, as someone who's been in relationships for the vast majority of her adult life, I've got to say that I was never so happy in a relationship until I realised I could be happy single as well. In all of my previous relationships I was overshadowed with the dread that they would leave me and I would be on my own. When that inevitably happened, in a panic I would grab the next person who flashed me a winning smile and go through the same crap all over again. Only the last time I got out of a relationship did I have the sense to give myself a break and discovered that single life actually has a lot of bonuses, and for that reason I don't have to spend my current relationship avoiding conflict with my boyfriend like it would mean my death.

 

[Darken12]

jesus....

sex kind of is important because weather you like it or not its hardwired into us on a very deep level....plus it feels really good (well so I hear)

It's necessary for the species, sure, but it isn't necessary for the individual themselves.

 

[Saladfork]

You know how some people (almost always women, now that I think of it) refer to a couple in a reltionship by one name, usually a portmanteau of the two individual names?

I always found that to be incredibly creepy.

 

[Vegosiux]

Love is crazy shit, that being said, if you've ever experienced it, it's like going on a drug fuelled superbender,
without all of the serious life threatening side effects of one.

Eh heh heh, it can be life threatening in other ways, such as taking from you time you'll never have back...

However, when the woman who you love to the extent that you feel like you could punch down a mountain, or fight a thousand bears, tells you she was lying to you for over a month of that relationship, meaning in my case nearly half of it, it's like having your balls run over by a train, freakin painful, only not in your balls, but like chest cavity collapsing into a black hole situated in your spine, level shit.

That's quite tame in comparison to the consistent feelings that arise when a relationship just dies, withers over a time after the starting euphoria passes...and even worse if it keeps walking because you think you should push it on since you've already invested so much of yourself into it. Yeah, that's the sunk cost fallacy par exellence.

After you experience that, it's really REALLY hard to love again, I know I still haven't loved anyone in that way since, hell I've barely felt anything for anyone since then, so as far as I can see, I got one chance, and it fucked me the hell up, ended in extreme pain, and now I get to live the life of an emotionally jaded individual who can't love, so yeah, be careful with that shit, cuz it may not kill you, but it can turn your heart into a motherfucking gargoyle.

Eh, love isn't that hard. If someone pissed you off in the evening but you still get up to help them out at 3AM when they need it, that's love. It's not limited to "couples".

In other words, I don't really believe that it is REQUIRED to be happy persay, but it's one hell of a drug, and anyone who hasn't tried it, should.

Side effects include lapse of rational judgement, possibility of future complications, and other stuff. Consult your doctor before use.

And consider that love is not the most important part of a relationship by far. Trust is.

 

[Olas]

As someone who has NEVER been in a relationship and is not currently seeking one I find that hypothesis nearly impossible to believe or accept.

 

[Myndnix]

A relationship is definitely not required to be happy.
Though from a personal perspective, I don't care about being in a relationship, and I can't handle being in one anyway. That's a large part of why my ex is my ex- I'm simply not comfortable with that level of intimacy. And it isn't something I miss now that it's gone.

 

[OpticalJunction]

You can be happy within a relationship and just as happy outside of one, as long as you've totally accepted yourself and all of your quirks. Total inner acceptance lies at the heart of happiness. It also brings you freedom from your past, and the courage to try again after a failed relationship.

 

[Mr F.]

Yes. I believe that humans need to be in love to be truly happy. But that you can be very happy whilst not in a mutual loving relationship. I am case and point that being in love without the mutual sides of things (Being recently dumped and whatnot) is not the path to happiness whatsoever.

Bleh.

I believe in true love.


I just think I need to stop stumbling.

 

[Little Gray]

I would say yes. I think that while you can be happy humans are social creatures and will always be happier with another. While you can be happy alone I dont think you can be truly happy.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

Love is relative. Happiness is relative. Life itself is relative. What makes me happy isn't what's going to make you happy - or it might be, but I won't know of it. Considering, I've always been irked by people who tell me "You don't have such-and-such? You must be so unhappy!"

I get that a lot about relationships, for instance. I'm single, and I'm happy. Is that so much of a shock?

So, no. I don't believe in that concept of the "better half", OP. I believe we meet people and, well, if we're lucky, there's someone in there we'll like enough to, well, love, and that we'll want to spend weeks, months, years and decades nerding out with.

Not that this level of luck happens to everyone, and not that this denotes some sort of mean, average "Happiness Factor".

Real Life isn't The Sims 3. I don't need to keep my little "Social" meter filled; I can just base myself off of what I feel and when I feel like being around other people.

 

[Jenvas1306]

you can be as bitter as you want about it and I must admit that what people often call love, is usually just neurochemistry and sex. both sorta makes happy, but its not the same has truely having a deep connection to someone.
No it doesnt make you whole, if you try to fill the void in you with another person, that usually doesnt work, but once you find the right one, you become more than whole.
Humans most often need social contact, its just a bisic need, but we arent all compleetly the same, so some people might be happier alone or at all not suitable for a relationship anyways.

 

[FilmDude89]

No I don't believe that at all for reasons that people much smarter and more eloquent have already stated.. Basically, If you can't be happy on your own a relationship will not change that.

I have a friend who is mortified of being alone, he's like me and has never been in a relationship let alone experienced sex.. he's scared because we're both 24 years old and he thinks "It should've happened by now, man! I'm such a loser!" I keep trying to tell him that it doesn't matter in the least and to try and focus on being happy with yourself first, but I'm not sure if he can hear me over his own fear of being alone.

Anyway.. don't worry about what your friends think. Like that old saying.. The honeymoon only lasts for so long. They'll get tired of their relationships in time. I'm almost positive of that.

 

[loc978]

If ever there was an entirely artificial social construct, it's the notion of the necessity of life-partnership. Relationships can last for a lifetime, be they friendships or sexual... or they can last a few hours. The guilt associated with the shorter ones has nothing to do with your species and everything to do with the culture that raised you.

So no. In fact, I'm pretty certain that lifelong monogamous relationships are more often than not very unhealthy for both involved parties.