Poll: Do you feel uncomfortable around people who are attracted to the same sex?

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

I'm okay with homosexuals but find butch, manly lesbians very intimidating. I have no problem with any other extreme. Which is apparently odd as men are typically more off-put by gay men, not gay women.

So I have an attraction to those of the same sex and of the opposite sex of mine. I guess you could call it bi-sexual

You guess? Well guess no longer; bi-sexual is precisely the correct word.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

Really, that last one is usually the biggest sticking point among well-meaning pro-equality people.

Indeed it is. Saw it a lot when I was heavily involved with anti-racism activism... lot of well-meaning people losing their shit when told to sit down, shut up and listen.

They also tended to have this weird issue coming to terms with whatever group they were supporting considered putting forward their own issues as a priority. Not sure why so many of them think any given disadvantaged section of the community would think giving everyone else's issue equal billing to their own... probably because they don't face many of them themselves so it's all just conceptual.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

I'm okay with homosexuals but find butch, manly lesbians very intimidating.

Why do you find them intimidating?

Is it the ones who pull that "I R TUFF" posturing? They annoy the shit out of me, but so do blokes who posture like that.

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

I'm okay with homosexuals but find butch, manly lesbians very intimidating.

Why do you find them intimidating?

Is it the ones who pull that "I R TUFF" posturing? They annoy the shit out of me, but so do blokes who posture like that.

I have to be honest, I'm not sure. Friends have suggested it's unusual as men are usually off-put more by flamboyant, gay men but I feel quite comfortable with them (at least the one that I know well). I think the concept is something like straight men aren't used to, or unable to deal with being a sexual target.

I hate to use the term, and don't mean it in a derogatory way but the "dyke" is what I find strangest. I feel uncomfortable and intimidated by them. Though there are probably some other types of people that I wouldn't know how to deal with.

I'd imagine a psychologist would say it's probably some subconcious thing to do with masculinity and expectations of a woman or something like that. Anyway, that's just one specific sub-culture thing.

 

[Tohuvabohu]

I used to have a gay friend back in my high school years. I was friends with him for a long while and saw him all the time. I knew several other gay people too, and I always got along well with them.

And in my experience, the one's I knew tend to be incredibly hilarious. They were a good bunch of people.... So, I'm not uncomfortable around them.

I'd say the only ones I am uncomfortable around, are transexuals. The men-dressing-as-women sort. Yes, I'm actually scared of these people. I think that's a different story altogether though.

 

[Tayh]

I have nothing against members of the LBGT community except for those who have to get all up in your nose about it. Those blatant ones whose sexual orientation you can hear from 50 meters away.
... But that has nothing to do with their sexual orientation, but more the fact that I am a quiet sort of person and that I hate it when people get unnecessarily noisy and exuberant.

 

[Fappy]

Nope. I met plenty of gay people in college, so if I had a problem before then I got over it quickly. It's more an issue the other way around though... if you're friends with me and I know you're gay be prepared for some not-so-subtle gay humor. I think most guys are kind of relentless with their friends that way (by which I mean you find anything to mock), so I imagine it wouldn't be much of a problem for most. At least it hasn't been in the past...

 

[Shadie777]

I'm not uncomfortable around gay people, but I sometimes feel pathetically worried about whether I say or do anything offensive in general. Then I worry about being worried about being offensive, like I'm actually making my worry come to a reality by even paying attention to it (which is kinda valid). Its a cycle, thats more focused on the fact that I hate insulting or making anyone uncomfortable then it is about a person's sexual orientation (in fact, it tends to start up for different/topics at random times when I think too much).

I'm getting better at not worrying, but gets kinda hard when I start questioning myself, my attitude and whether or not I would start becoming prejudiced or hurtful, which starts up the worrying.

 

[Mcupobob]

Not at all, have a gay uncle had a couple of gay friends. More uncomfortable around homophobic people than gay people. Don't know how I would feel if I got hit on though.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

No, I?m generally not uncomfortable around gay people. I just make sure not to say anything that might offend them. If that counts as ?uncomfortable?, then?I guess I am, but only to that extent. I?ve actually started watching gay porn in an attempt to get over the ?that?s a bit different; feel a bit weird now? effect of seeing two men kissing. Even if a gay guy hit on me, I?d just be flattered, since I never get hit on (not to mention that I?d emphasize with how hard it presumably is for gay guys to hook up in places other than gay bars or other LGBT areas, when the majority of people you?d come across are straight and, for a gay person, there?d be a higher chance of them attracted to someone of the opposite sexuality as opposed to the same). The same goes for women (although I?m not comparing gay men to women, before you shout at me for being homophobic).

The only gay person I do sort of feel uncomfortable around my best friend?s older lesbian sister, but it?s not because of her sexuality. It?s because I?m generally socially awkward around girls that are older than me (apart from, of course, my sister) and relatives of my friends that I don?t know that well, she?s quite blunt, and my friend has told me numerous stories implying that his sister?s not one to be messed with (apparently she heard her neighbour beating his wife and got so annoyed that she herself went round to his house and beat him up).

I'm just glad I wasn't raised in the same way as my mother who grew up in South Africa during apartheid. She really hates racism, and doesn't like talking about living there because of it, but after a few conversations with my grandmother, I found out that on the plane to England, she cried because she had to sit next to a black man.

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but did she cry because she's subconsciously racist, or because of "white guilt" brought about her experiences with apartheid in South Africa?

I've slept naked with a gay friend before. Getting up and putting on clothes would have taken effort which I felt wasn't required so I think that puts me in the not giving a toss category.

Must...not...make...inappropriate joke...

I'd say the only ones I am uncomfortable around, are transexuals. The men-dressing-as-women sort. Yes, I'm actually scared of these people. I think that's a different story altogether though.

Just to correct you, men-dressed-as-women are actually called transvestites, or crossdressers, not transsexuals. Transsexuals are those who've done the whole "hormone treatment" and "sex reassignment surgery" thing, with many of them not even looking like men anymore.

 

[5mj7R7yf4Dwr3gdZyyu9PeGNwYjlNrjzuh3iTXQG]

As a not-yet-sexually-active young adult, I was crazy nervous about the locals who'd openly hit on me (some were more discreet about it than others). But I had come to San Francisco from a conservative (read: ragingly homophobic) Los Angeles suburb, so I was still processing all the rumors.[footnote]This was the '80s so gay was tightly identified with pedophile and rapist.[/footnote] My incidentally-gay fellow gamers were able to get me up to speed in short time (mostly by not being weird or anything while we gamed).

In the '90s I became part of the alt-sex community, and at that point figured out that everybody was just folks whether gay, straight, bi, kinky, vanilla or whatever. When I was hit on at that point, I was able to say thank you, express the limits of my interests [footnote]"You're adorable! I'm not interested in you sexually, but I will hang out and play Magic The Gathering with you."[/footnote]

These days, were someone to hit on me I'd take it as a complement. So it goes with getting old. I'd probably titter like a little girl if the pass was particularly classy.

Incidentally, I get to deal with the flip-side as well, having a particular fetish (or type, depending) for butches. So I get to charm their socks off knowing full well that the pants will probably not be following.[footnote]Those times they do are often worth the disappointment of those times they don't.[/footnote]

238U

 

[Tohuvabohu]

Just to correct you, men-dressed-as-women are actually called transvestites, or crossdressers, not transsexuals. Transsexuals are those who've done the whole "hormone treatment" and "sex reassignment surgery" thing, with many of them not even looking like men anymore.

D'oh! You're right, my bad.

Although that reminds me. I have indeed known both sorts. Crossdressing transvestites, and post-op transsexuals.

And you're right, the post-op transsexuals I've known don't resemble men at all anymore. My post was more directed at the people that full under this category.

 

[Headsprouter]

Yeah, a couple of my close friends are gay and in a relationship. I spend most of my time around them or talking to them on Skype. I'm grateful I got some relatively early exposure to the idea. I've seen them kiss a couple times, but it was no more awkward than when anyone else in a relationship kisses in front of you.

I was accused of being homophobic last November. I'm still kind of offended by it, but it's such a ludicrous accusation that it's probably not worth dwelling on.

 

[afroebob]

I have the same feelings about gay people that I have with ugly chicks: I'm 100% ok with them as long as they don't come on to me.

 

[Chairman Miaow]

I'm just glad I wasn't raised in the same way as my mother who grew up in South Africa during apartheid. She really hates racism, and doesn't like talking about living there because of it, but after a few conversations with my grandmother, I found out that on the plane to England, she cried because she had to sit next to a black man.

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but did she cry because she's subconsciously racist, or because of "white guilt" brought about her experiences with apartheid in South Africa?
whole "hormone treatment" and "sex reassignment surgery" thing, with many of them not even looking like men anymore.

Because of the subconcious racism. She was only like six, and living in apartheid with everybody telling you how disgusting, dirty and uncivilised the blacks were has an effect on a young mind. She realises now how bad it was.

 

[Assassin Xaero]

Are you opposed to homosexuality?

Opposed? No. Honestly, I find it gross, but it's your life, not mine, and especially not my place to judge, so power to you. As for feeling uncomfortable around them, not at all, with an exception of if they are trying to flirt with me or something. Mostly because I've had guys who were over twice my age do it (some guy in hit mid to late 50's when I was 20, which is just fucking wrong, gay, straight, male, or female, it is wrong). As for this "oh, they are gay, they might rape me or want to kiss me" mentality that some people have, I just have to ask, what the fuck? Just because a guy is gay doesn't mean he is attracted to every guy there is. That would be like a straight guy being attracted to every girl there is.

 

[Playful Pony]

Uh, no. What are people afraid of... And if they "hit on you", it's actually as simple as saying you don't go that way... As a gay woman I turn down men like that all the damn time, and I don't really see the diference. Why would it be more uncomfortable for a straight person to be hit on by a gay person, than it would for a gay person to be hit on by a straight person?

I have never grasped what there is to be uncomfortable about. Like how a terrifyingly high number of people can't deal with transgender folk. What's the big deal?! Then people also have problems with far less significant stuff... Racism still exists after all, so does sexism and aparently even heightism (thinking less of shorter people). The world hasn't gone crazy, it's just always has been X3.

I have nothing against members of the LBGT community except for those who have to get all up in your nose about it. Those blatant ones whose sexual orientation you can hear from 50 meters away.
... But that has nothing to do with their sexual orientation, but more the fact that I am a quiet sort of person and that I hate it when people get unnecessarily noisy and exuberant.

I feel your pain X3. I don't care what gender or race you are, what religion you follow and if you like men, women or trees. I just want people to be quiet at the bus home from work! It's late, it's dark and it has been a very long day (because who needs sensible working hours!). All I want is to shut my eyes and relax to the rumbling of the bus engine, but of course there is always a group of loud teenagers, a crying baby or a fighting couple taking that same bus with me. And nobody else. Always just me, the driver and someone loud!

I have come to the conclusion that I simply just don't like people...

 

[AngloDoom]

In short, if their sexuality means nothing in their relationship with me, then it means nothing to me either.

Pretty much this. Just as how the large majority of my friends being female makes absolutely no difference unless one of them tries to get into my pants (which curiously happens both far too much and not nearly enough for my paranoid and vain tastes /tangent)

 

[Amaury_games]

I'll admit that when I was younger, although I never believed in shaming or hurting them for being attracted to people of the same gender, I felt kind of unconfortable around gay guys (simply put, girls kissing makes me horny, while guys kissing makes me floppy). Until one day I put some thought into it and realized it made no fucking sense I should feel that way (specially because of this reason). And then, I put some effort into reminding myself of that reasoning everytime I began to feel unconfortable, until I don't care at all anymore!
I guess the only thing that's left is that if I find myself in a place where there are a lot of homossexuals, I'll get the feeling I'm not supposed to be there. I don't know what to make of this and I usually just keep going until I'm in a place I feel like I belong again (like my house).