Merteg said:
I'm happy as long as I'm left alone.
Not very healthy, maybe I'm shielding myself from society?
I guess that means I'm not actually all that happy.
Heya, I'm not alone!
Simalacrum said:
nah, not really happy... most of my friends go to different schools now, people in my new school kinda suck, can't be bothered with education anymore, and i'm doubting whether i'll be able to achieve my dreams
Well, the voice in my head wants me to slap you really hard, but I guess that would be completly wrong of me. Let me explain
You're completly entitled to be as unhappy as you are. Your life sounds like it sucks, but the one thing that really nags me about what you've written is the doubt of you achieving your dreams. I'm groin to presume that this dream is one that is achievable, as long as you put enough effort into it.
If that's correct, then you should be happy that you have a achievable dream.
In my case, the dreams I have is completly unattainable. Not because of me being incompetent, or my possibillities are too limited. No, the laws of nature itself defies my wish.
Not so long ago part of me gave up on dreaming, but my ohter half kept hoping. This pushed my mind into a state of confusion, where my thoughts were all clouded and foggy. It took me a bit of time to recover and clear my head again. By then, my thoughts were split into two voices.
One fueled by my dreams and hopes, of what I really wanted.
Another was driven by society's expectations of me.
I came to a realisation: "Well, if I can't reach my dreams in THIS life, I might as well do something else." I then adapted the motto: "Life's an adventure, right?"
And then, I made a decision:
"Screw society and it's rules, as long as I don't hurt anyone, I can live the way I want to"
And now, I feel free whenever I'm alone. But part of me still feels miserable about this. Damn society.
And as long as the battle of my two internal voices persists, I'm "not happy".