Poll: Do you think spanking is wrong?

[Digitaldreamer7]

First off, I'd like everyone without kids to STFU lol. You have no idea how to handle kids so piss off with your tree hugging bullshit.

Spanking is a last resort. Furthermore, other forms of physical violence are very very very last resort. i.e. when i was a teenager and I told my step mother she was being a "stupid *****" my dad didn't even think twice as he cold cocked me. I learned a great great deal about respect that day and that real world consequences of actions like that could be far far worse. Key to this form of punishment being effective is the long and reasonable talk that happens after. Some times you really need to grab thier attention and empty threats and other forms of punishment just do not work.

The punishment should fit the crime is all i'm saying. If the child is out of control and without reason, a spanking (or in my case a fist to the face) is well within the right column. A spanking on the butt or a slap to the mouth to teach that hard lesson is way way better then a shiv to the gut or a bullet to the head when they act like that in the real world. It's like my dad always said "it's always better just to eat the shit sandwich that life hands you, rather then let life force feed it to you."

 

[Lordpils]

No. I don't think hitting a child is right. Though, good lord, they make it hard some times...

I was spanked as a child. Didn't enjoy it and all it did was make me fear my dad. I'm not sure if it contributed, but I have depression, so... Yeah.

It's been shown that children who are spanked are more likely to be aggressive and are more likely to be bullies in school.
Also it doesn't teach them to behave just to act appropriately when the parent is near. I find it ridiculus that doing the same thing to an adult acting the same way is called assault and doing it to a child is called "appropriate punishment".

I say from personal experience, that kids who were spanked in my area were not bullies. Ever. Notice I say spanked, not beaten, yes kids who get beaten often turn to bullying, but these are two dif things. also, a smack to the back of the head, or even a spanking is not a real smack, its more like the level of force gibbons uses on tony in NCIS, certainly not going to be called assault by anyone, harrassment maybe, but not assault.

I like NCIS too, but I wouldn't use it as a fair examination of the real world.
I agree that not everyone who got spanked turned to bullying, I was regularily spanked as a child and I turned out fine, but I would credit that to my mother who never once hit me and instead didn't put up with my bullshit I wasn't aggressive because she raised me on the golden rule. I would also have to credit the fact that I had to mature quickly due to a divorce with two working parents and a slew of bad babysitters. My scenario is different from others due to multiple factors. I follow the evidence and the evidence says spanking is less effective then positive reenforcement of good behavior and explaining why bad behavior is bad.

 

[spartan231490]

No. I don't think hitting a child is right. Though, good lord, they make it hard some times...

I was spanked as a child. Didn't enjoy it and all it did was make me fear my dad. I'm not sure if it contributed, but I have depression, so... Yeah.

It's been shown that children who are spanked are more likely to be aggressive and are more likely to be bullies in school.
Also it doesn't teach them to behave just to act appropriately when the parent is near. I find it ridiculus that doing the same thing to an adult acting the same way is called assault and doing it to a child is called "appropriate punishment".

I say from personal experience, that kids who were spanked in my area were not bullies. Ever. Notice I say spanked, not beaten, yes kids who get beaten often turn to bullying, but these are two dif things. also, a smack to the back of the head, or even a spanking is not a real smack, its more like the level of force gibbons uses on tony in NCIS, certainly not going to be called assault by anyone, harrassment maybe, but not assault.

I like NCIS too, but I wouldn't use it as a fair examination of the real world.
I agree that not everyone who got spanked turned to bullying, I was regularily spanked as a child and I turned out fine, but I would credit that to my mother who never once hit me and instead didn't put up with my bullshit I wasn't aggressive because she raised me on the golden rule. I would also have to credit the fact that I had to mature quickly due to a divorce with two working parents and a slew of bad babysitters. My scenario is different from others due to multiple factors. I follow the evidence and the evidence says spanking is less effective then positive reenforcement of good behavior and explaining why bad behavior is bad.

I'm not using NCIS as a fair examination of the real world, I'm pointing out an example of the level of force I'm talking about when i say a smack, from somethign that i believe most people will have seen, and which is almost definitely on youtube.

 

[Madara XIII]

Yes, it's wrong. Not being able to control you child has nothing to do with hitting.

Try reasoning with a child....just try..

It doesn't matter how good the parenting kids will always and always act out. I had to help raise a part of my family (I.E. Little sister and Nephews) and they don't listen no matter how much you try to talk to them or put them in the corner. Oh and Patience I have before you try breaking that old one on me

 

[Madara XIII]

First off, I'd like everyone without kids to STFU lol. You have no idea how to handle kids so piss off with your tree hugging bullshit.

Spanking is a last resort. Furthermore, other forms of physical violence are very very very last resort. i.e. when i was a teenager and I told my step mother she was being a "stupid *****" my dad didn't even think twice as he cold cocked me. I learned a great great deal about respect that day and that real world consequences of actions like that could be far far worse. Key to this form of punishment being effective is the long and reasonable talk that happens after. Some times you really need to grab thier attention and empty threats and other forms of punishment just do not work.

The punishment should fit the crime is all i'm saying. If the child is out of control and without reason, a spanking (or in my case a fist to the face) is well within the right column. A spanking on the butt or a slap to the mouth to teach that hard lesson is way way better then a shiv to the gut or a bullet to the head when they act like that in the real world. It's like my dad always said "it's always better just to eat the shit sandwich that life hands you, rather then let life force feed it to you."

^ This!!! LOL don't matter what age you are, the moment you step outta line with my dad *BOOM* Oh hello Wall This is my face XD

And yes empty threats don't amount to shit once they figure out you been bluffing the whole time. Kids aren't stupid and the moment they figure out your little empty threat game, you are S.O.L.

 

[Madara XIII]

I don't see how anyone could raise a kid properly without spanking them.
Unless you're the type that spoils them into annoying brats.

Not always the case and an annoying assumption. Just because some people choose not to smack, does not mean they are spoiling their child. Verbal punishments can work just as well as physical depending on the child and how they react.

*Sigh* don't start with verbal punishment

That SHIT scars you a hell of alot more than anything, mainly because it's your parents telling you stuff like that. Now that's not to say I'm against lecturing

 

[Savvz]

Kids should associate pain with being an asshole. I'm seeing way more little bastards running around now that spanking has been demonised by the hippies.

 

[Madara XIII]

Because we teach our kids to use their words to solve their problems by hitting them to solve our problems.

If you need to hit someone because you cannot outwit a child, maybe you're not ready to be a parent.

Wow.....Unless you raised kids or family members then I call Bullshit on that.

It's not about outwitting a child or venting out our problems on the kid (God help any parent who does that), it's about helping them understand what they did was wrong and why and reinforce that rather than just go about giving empty threats and stooping to their level.

Mind you some kids learn differently than others. The point still stands from a Psychological Point of View. I believe it was Edward Thorndike who stated that Negative reinforcers (Such as Spanking and Time outs)help prevent the previous unapproved actions from being repeated while Positive reinforcers (Such as praise) encourages repetition of the approved action.

 

[yizas]

It's just a little spank, i mean you're not going down with the wrath of the gods upon his little ass. My father spanked me and hit me with his belt (wich is common here in México ) and i turned up all right, he never did hit me unless i deserved it and really did like less than 10 times and when i look at kids whose parents dont spank them, well they usually little anoying brats

 

[migo]

Spanking has been a fertility ritual for at least 3,000 years - pretty twisted to be doing that to a kid.

 

[Lordpils]

Yes, it's wrong. Not being able to control you child has nothing to do with hitting.

Try reasoning with a child....just try..

It doesn't matter how good the parenting kids will always and always act out. I had to help raise a part of my family (I.E. Little sister and Nephews) and they don't listen no matter how much you try to talk to them or put them in the corner. Oh and Patience I have before you try breaking that old one on me

I raised three autistic brothers so much so that they regularly forget to not call me dad. Don't give me this bullshit that you can't reason with a child.

 

[Madara XIII]

Yes, it's wrong. Not being able to control you child has nothing to do with hitting.

Try reasoning with a child....just try..

It doesn't matter how good the parenting kids will always and always act out. I had to help raise a part of my family (I.E. Little sister and Nephews) and they don't listen no matter how much you try to talk to them or put them in the corner. Oh and Patience I have before you try breaking that old one on me

I raised three autistic brothers so much so that they regularly forget to not call me dad. Don't give me this bullshit that you can't reason with a child.

I had previously stated before in a few posts up that there are exceptions, but majority of the time kids will defy authority. If you can accomplish such a feat then more power to you.

However I am against the whole demonization of spanking.

 

[FalloutJack]

No, not really into the whole spanking scene for my kid. Do you know why? Because I believe all these people are doing it wrong, the punishment-for-stuff methodology.

Let me explain. I've been a child, of course, and as a child I have pissed off my parents on more than one occasion. Do you think a child necessarily takes from their parents the lesson that is to be learned from a hit? Too logical. Children aren't always reasonable, and you may even be punishing them for that issue, so why would you think they're going to react reasonably to being hit?

Oh, I'm sure some get the right message, but it's just as easily that the child doesn't agree with or actually listen to the point of the act. They just begin to hate. Nevermind the grand lesson you're trying to teach here. Their mind is going "You hit me and I don't like that!". They all do that, probably. That's Point A to Point B. The ones who respond correctly go to Point C, which is to understand that the reason they were hit was to stop them when they're doing something wrong.

But you're not always going to get that reaction. It's just as easy to get to Point B and immediately hate their parents. They grow up thinking "Why couldn't you think of some better way to handle this?" whenever driving a point home with a strike. Basically, if we were to run this parallel to the notion of the carrot and stick, the kid's not interested in the carrot. They want to break the stick over your head.

This can happen to anyone in their childhood. It can happen to me. It can happen to you. It can happen to anyone. Sometimes, the kid decides "Screw the rules, it's my turn for violence!", and you read about some dead parents in the paper. Other times, the kid learns their own morality and denounces the parents because the lesson they taught wasn't really helpful but harmful. We all grow up differently.

Personally, I'm not up for the spanking idea for anyone I raise. I'll stop 'im dead in his tracks in the middle of that wrong thing and obstruct it until it's the furthest thing from his mind, and he won't get to do anything until he understands he can't do that thing. If you were the all-powerful parent of a child who is essentially helpless before you, why would you hit when you can just put a hold on his world - a great big pause button - until he gets it. I've been a kid, and I know what drives them. It's safer and more meaningful to break flow on his fun than to slap him around.

 

[Lordpils]

Yes, it's wrong. Not being able to control you child has nothing to do with hitting.

Try reasoning with a child....just try..

It doesn't matter how good the parenting kids will always and always act out. I had to help raise a part of my family (I.E. Little sister and Nephews) and they don't listen no matter how much you try to talk to them or put them in the corner. Oh and Patience I have before you try breaking that old one on me

I raised three autistic brothers so much so that they regularly forget to not call me dad. Don't give me this bullshit that you can't reason with a child.

I had previously stated before in a few posts up that there are exceptions, but majority of the time kids will defy authority. If you can accomplish such a feat then more power to you.

However I am against the whole demonization of spanking.

Spanking your child will do nothing, but inspire fear of you. There is nothing difficult about positive reenforcement for good behaviors and explaining why it's not okay to hit your brother/sister.

 

[spartan231490]

I got spanked as a child, it instilled niether fear or hate in me. it just let me know that what i had done was really wrong, if your instiling fear and/or hate with spanking, your using it too often, or hitting way too hard.

 

[justforkix]

I was spanked once as a child. I don't even remember the pain - what I do remember is the realisation just prior to the event, that the imaginary line I'd been told about and knew I was crossing ... well it was real and now I was going to have to pay the piper.

Spanking is not about physically dominating your child, or hurting them - it's about consequences (as is all discipline). Most of the time, reasoning will work - but if a child doesn't believe they are doing something wrong, it doesn't matter how long you spend telling them that it is wrong, they will do it anyway. That is when they must be taught that there are some rules they just have to follow whether they like them or not (you know ... like the Law). If or when they choose not to follow those rules (and they should know that it is a choice they can make) then there will be consequences.

When kids grow up, they will still have a set of rules that they must follow (remember? The LAW!) where the consequences are far more severe than a mere open-handed smack on the bottom. Will children raised without that imaginary line be tolerant of these laws placed on them by society? I don't know, but when I see and read about some of the things British children get up to these days I think that line is more important than ever! There seems to be a move away from taking responsibility for your actions in society in general these days (my finger is pointing at you banking industry!!)

When I have children I will certainly be drawing that line - even though I really hope they never cross it.

 

[Palindromemordnilap_v1legacy]

I was never spanked and I'm still well-behaved. I honestly think spanking was the cause of today's youth problems, not a solution. Those parents who were spanked didn't want to do that to their own child, yet could not think of other ways to enforce discipline. Either that or, like someone else pointed out, we get people who think its okay to hit people. Either of those merely contributes to the problem.

And that's assuming there is a problem. For those of you who think things were better in the old days, go read some Juvenal. He's a Roman writer who complains about exactly the sort of thing you're complaining abut now

 

[Thyunda]

No. I don't think hitting a child is right. Though, good lord, they make it hard some times...

I was spanked as a child. Didn't enjoy it and all it did was make me fear my dad. I'm not sure if it contributed, but I have depression, so... Yeah.

It's been shown that children who are spanked are more likely to be aggressive and are more likely to be bullies in school.
Also it doesn't teach them to behave just to act appropriately when the parent is near. I find it ridiculus that doing the same thing to an adult acting the same way is called assault and doing it to a child is called "appropriate punishment".

How ironic - I was spanked...and had shoes thrown at me if I wasn't in range...but I didn't become a bully. I got bullied instead. =D

 

[Plurralbles]

73+44 people on the Escapist will/do make horrible parents.


Spanking is sometimes justified.