When I got spanked when I was younger... 9/10 times I deserved it. A lot of kids need it, just to instill some discipline.
Poll: Do you think spanking is wrong?
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for the most part you are right, but you are wrong in this little bitMarter said:
sometimes kids will "test" the boundaries of parents to know how much they can get away with, "If" you talk to them, "most" of the time it will work
but its in a childrens nature to keep pushing the parent untill stopped, sometimes, the kid will push to the verge of unreasonable even after being told otherwise, wich then in turn makes it obvious that more "drastic" measures are to be taken
not every child is the same, and not all of them do this, but if things do get too much out of hand, some spanking is "OK"
i say this from personal experience, from dealing with my kid, and from knowing what has happened with my ex wife who was not given enough "boundaries" and did wathever she wanted to do, with her parents permission or not, and never received more serious punishment than a "scold", this in turn has made her more "strict" against my son and while she still talks with our kid (like me) if things do get out of hand well, we both (either she or I) spank the kid
he cries and makes wathever he can to make us feel "guilty" (YES, THIS IS A CONCEPT EVEN 1 YEAR OLD KIDS ALREADY KNOWS) but the "spanking" Isnt that "hard", so we know those "tears" are fake
its important that the parent knows his kid, and also knows when is appropiate to give phisical discouragement from some behaviours, i mean, i´m not going to spank him if he eats all the candy in the drawer, but i will if he is acting unreasonable and hitting and spitting and biting people (wich happened twice, once we talked, the second time we spanked)
Phisical discouragement should not be to inflict "pain" into the kid, the mere act of "slapping" his butt with ease will make him surprised and understand its punishment for the "wrong" things he did, he will not feel pain, but he will know its wrong to do those things
i was a spanked kid my self, and courious thing is, my mom is the one that spanked me, and i love her, my dad never ever put a finguer on me, but i am afraid of him, why? he has a way of "talkind" that makes you feel like you are vermin, wich is more scarring than some slapps to the tushie
Children are not perfect little angels. The best behaved among them acts like a hooligan on speed on a good day. They need to be taught the difference between right and wrong and the only thing that gets their attention sometimes is a swat on the behind. You generally can't reason with children, and there are things they shouldn't do, if they do them, you have to show them their are consequences. It should not be done angrily, and should not be enjoyed, when done it should be done instructively, but it should be done.
Bernie Mac said it best (God bless his soul) "At the age of two and older, kids can get hit in the neck or above"
Kids associate pain with "bad" more then anything else. Obviously parents should use this to their advantage.
That said, I advocate "spanking", NOT "beating".
That said, I advocate "spanking", NOT "beating".
My Mum and Dad were spanked when they misbehaved, I was and god damnit so will my kids!
Well...only if REALLY necessary. In fact...I'N 17 AND MY MA STILL SLAPS THE SHIT OUTTA ME!?!
Well...only if REALLY necessary. In fact...I'N 17 AND MY MA STILL SLAPS THE SHIT OUTTA ME!?!
If you did that, then why would you need to spank them?Madara XIII said:
No. Spanking, Smacking, or hitting a child in any form is child abuse. It is a physical and mental abuse of a person who is underage and unable and unwilling to defend themselves against figures of authority (especially true if done by parents, who then tell the child they love them).
Child abuse is wrong, and a violation of human rights. It is therefore illegal in most developed countries.
don't hit your kids, talk to them. And kids who are being hurt, contact higher authorities (Civil service, Police). And yes, you are still a kid if your'e 15. If hitting an adult is Assault (illegal, and you can be sent to jail for it), then under what logic would it be different for kids?
Society's definition of child abuse is blown completely out of proportion and I don't advocate the real meaning of abuse. Secondly for some kids it works, but as Edward Thorndike proved before, negative reinforcers prevent the repetition of an unapproved action. Secondly you say that as if a parent savagely beats their kid and scars them mentally forever just because they got spanked on the butt.DanielDeFig said:
The demonization of Discipline is down right nonsensical and stupid at times. How you raise your kids is how your raise them.
I was spanked when I was younger, twice, in public places, too. Immediately after both instances, I remember my father telling me that I was acting completely out of control and behaving unacceptably, and proceeded to explain why he felt that way, and that the spanking was the only way to calm me down. It stung, but I never cried. Spanking, if handled properly, I'd say is alright.
never been spanked or so much as grounded but since my dad is a good teacher who would sit and talk with me i suppose that was what made me good as a teenager.
also i do think that corporal punishment would help schools because at the moment there is no controlling some kids like in my last school we had this teacher who had no discipline in her class so it would end up with none of us doing any work. i would also condone it on the more serious things but not on simple things like forgetting to do something. but some of the little sods called toddlers desperately need that since you can't really reason with them and distracting and the naughty corner just doesnt work with some of them
also i do think that corporal punishment would help schools because at the moment there is no controlling some kids like in my last school we had this teacher who had no discipline in her class so it would end up with none of us doing any work. i would also condone it on the more serious things but not on simple things like forgetting to do something. but some of the little sods called toddlers desperately need that since you can't really reason with them and distracting and the naughty corner just doesnt work with some of them
I'm all for smacking, but I know plenty of people who have never had to smack at all.Zeeky_Santos said:
Once again, all for smacking but verbal works just as well in just as many cases. I copped both ends of the scale and both are as scary as each other if not used in the right manner. Either one can be abused.Madara XIII said:*Sigh* don't start with verbal punishmentMelziGurl said:
That SHIT scars you a hell of alot more than anything, mainly because it's your parents telling you stuff like that. Now that's not to say I'm against lecturing
If you let your children get so out of control that you need to resort to spanking, it's your fault. Not theirs'.
Children are born perfect. Whatever shit they're surrounded by effects them. That's the parent's part. Don't give them bad influences and teach them whatever it is you consider socially acceptable.
But, as somebody who's seen rowdy kids who can't be controlled because they're fucking nuts; I agree with it only as long as it's necessary--and oftentimes that's only once.
Children are born perfect. Whatever shit they're surrounded by effects them. That's the parent's part. Don't give them bad influences and teach them whatever it is you consider socially acceptable.
But, as somebody who's seen rowdy kids who can't be controlled because they're fucking nuts; I agree with it only as long as it's necessary--and oftentimes that's only once.
First off, I don't think that violence should be the last resort to teaching a kid from right and wrong, the main reason being that they're kids; of course they're going to be making their first mistakes, and to me it seems unfair to punish them in such a way for that.
That said, I mostly just see the entire process as unnecessary. It's terribly ignorant that some people on here seem to think that there are only two extremes: parents who spank their child and grow up to be law-abiding citizens, and parents who bend over backwards to please their little brats. There's so many different things in between, and just because you don't hit your child doesn't necessarily mean that you're a crappy parent who gives them everything they want for fear of upsetting them.
I was brought up in a household where my parents didn't dream of putting a finger on me, and my parents where always awesomely kind and friendly, made me laugh, and I adored them. Then, when I did something wrong, they turned extremely serious and got their 'damn angry and disappointed' voice on, and did whatever else necessary (taking away toys, etc.). It sounds like tosh to write it down here and now, but for me, it scared the shit out of me and I felt terribly guilty afterward, because it was just such a complete change of character, which I knew I'd caused, and I didn't want them to be upset with me.
I've probably explained that really shittily, but yeah. I turned out completely fine, and I thank my parents for bringing me up as they did.
That said, I mostly just see the entire process as unnecessary. It's terribly ignorant that some people on here seem to think that there are only two extremes: parents who spank their child and grow up to be law-abiding citizens, and parents who bend over backwards to please their little brats. There's so many different things in between, and just because you don't hit your child doesn't necessarily mean that you're a crappy parent who gives them everything they want for fear of upsetting them.
I was brought up in a household where my parents didn't dream of putting a finger on me, and my parents where always awesomely kind and friendly, made me laugh, and I adored them. Then, when I did something wrong, they turned extremely serious and got their 'damn angry and disappointed' voice on, and did whatever else necessary (taking away toys, etc.). It sounds like tosh to write it down here and now, but for me, it scared the shit out of me and I felt terribly guilty afterward, because it was just such a complete change of character, which I knew I'd caused, and I didn't want them to be upset with me.
I've probably explained that really shittily, but yeah. I turned out completely fine, and I thank my parents for bringing me up as they did.