Poll: Father in rural Germany finds his young son likes to wear dresses; does the same to show solidarity.
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You should probably reflect a little more and get some wider perspective on the issue, because that is a strange reason to dislike something. Modern diets, spending your time in front of a computer and technology are all, in many aspects, destroying the way nature designed us to be.JeffBergGold said:
The only way nature has "designed" (which is a bad word to use, because there was no design) us to be is to survive and pass down our genetic material. That's the only reason we are here. There is no point forming opinions about whole groups of people because you feel that they go against nature. One could argue most things we do goes against nature.
Aww that's adorable. Good on the father.
What I'd do personally though? I don't know. Even being a religious community, that shit would never fly in an American school, and my concern foremost would be the safety of my son rather than making a statement.
If it was such a big deal to my son to wear a dress, I'd buy us both matching kilts specially made, but regulate wearing them to be something special, like a formal attire which would allow him to express himself but within restraint. I am of Scottish descent so it would make sense.
What I'd do personally though? I don't know. Even being a religious community, that shit would never fly in an American school, and my concern foremost would be the safety of my son rather than making a statement.
If it was such a big deal to my son to wear a dress, I'd buy us both matching kilts specially made, but regulate wearing them to be something special, like a formal attire which would allow him to express himself but within restraint. I am of Scottish descent so it would make sense.
Actually, my grandfather used to describe it as the most satisfying way to relax in public. He wore one every Sunday, even when he came over to the states. Kilts are just plain awesome.Rainboq said:
You yourself clearly know you don't have a good reason for thinking that way. It's something ingrained and illogical. By the sound of it you would actually agree with that statement. So there's not really anything to discuss, but if you realize you're acting in an irrational way surely you'd want to change that?JeffBergGold said:
"Scared" is an unusual word to use, and another reason you should think about reconsidering your viewpoint. It's the change that scares you, its too far from what you expect from the world around you, but your expectations aren't logical.
"Weak" is another word I would like to bring up, I assume you mean physically weak, if that's the case fair enough, although I don't know if that would be entirely true, and being physically strong is also not an important characteristic for men to have in developed nations in the 21st century. If you mean mentally/emotionally weak that's a whole other kettle of fish. Please clarify this.
No idea. Both my parents are tolerant and accepting of all people, and I've always had the opinion that all people should be treated as equals...Rainboq said:
I know when I tell people I don't like drag/cross-dressers/extreeeeemely effeminate men and 'stallone' looking women...They assume I'm homophobic. I'm not. I like gays. I have quite a few gay friends, both guys and gals'. Like I said, people can love and be whoever they want.
But I cringed when I saw the Rocky-Horror Show and hated watching it; for example...I don't know why it be, but it be.
Personally it's not something i would do, because my approach to parenting would be to teach the child what society regards to be socially acceptable- and that means dressing in clothes which traditionally adhere to your gender. Once the child's of mature age he can dress how he wants.
This just seems so "d'awww" cute that I can't really think of it as harmful. Childhood development, maybe just a phase, cool dad for not freaking over something as trivial as taking what's physically comfortable over what's traditional. If the behaviour persists then maybe the dad should warn the kid that there is stigma attached, but you get the impression this dad is perfectly capable of making those calls if or when the time comes.
Why should this kid care if his father wears a dress? I don't see any act of bravado on the father's part, just a desire to revert back to childhood when he can be a kid and have fun again. I don't see his actions helping anything, in fact they are taking attention away from the problem of why this kid's dress preference is a concern to the rest of the world.
I would be okay with it. I would warn him that he'll be treated differently by others, but hey whatever makes you happy. As for wearing a dress myself, I respect the father in the picture for his solidarity but I would pass on that one.
I'd probably see if he likes kilts instead, just to give him a better chance of making friends, but I certainly wouldn't have a problem with a five-year old, even if he's mine, wearing dresses.
Honestly, I don't like dresses to begin with, just because they're so impractical, so I'd chastise someone for that reason over any other.
I'd wear a kilt along with him, but only because those are infinitely more comfortable than dresses.
Honestly, I don't like dresses to begin with, just because they're so impractical, so I'd chastise someone for that reason over any other.
I'd wear a kilt along with him, but only because those are infinitely more comfortable than dresses.
They don't?! Oh, man.Phasmal said:
OT: This is a feel good story that fills my heart with warm shit.
Dad of the year.
Though I'm not sure how good this is in the long run. 5 years old isn't really old enough to be making these decisions consciously, and the dad giving him an example of people conforming their lives to match the kid's expectations (no matter how shallow they may be at this moment) might not be the best thing. I remember when I was 5, and if my home life supported such a decision, I probably would have laughed back at everyone telling me I was wrong.
As it was, at that age I was thrilled to use the kindergarten urinals because it was a fixture that wasn't in my house and never would be. It was a special thing to have access to one. Well, when it came to taking a piss, I'd do the Butters Stoch thing of dropping my pants and lifting my shirt. It was what I learned at home, and it worked effectively. What I didn't learn is that it wasn't a good idea to do it in front of 10 or so other kindergarteners. Their laughter did nothing to me. I don't even really remember their daily reactions as much more than a buzz in the back of my mind while I was just taking a piss, because I didn't give a shit. Eventually, one of the nicer kids offhandedly mentioned the harassment to his mom (slapping my cheeks had recently become part of the ridiculing, another thing I was just flat-out ignoring) and she called my mom to tell her what had been happening. I'm finding a hole in my memory around that point, because I feel like something was done to make things better (perhaps I named names that were harassing me and they got talked to? I do seem to remember being asked.), but I don't remember actually taking steps to avoid that harassment. I might have just gone to the stalls to do what I needed to do.
Long, embarrassing story aside, I see this as a potentially similar thing. The kid just might not get that others will look at him differently if the dad is wearing the same clothes. I think the dad might be better off supporting his choices and letting him grow the way he wants without making him feel normal for it. It's the parent's job to make their kids become the best people they can be, and if you prepare your kid for nothing of the social dangers out there, then you're doing him a disservice, no matter how loving your support was.
Though I'm not sure how good this is in the long run. 5 years old isn't really old enough to be making these decisions consciously, and the dad giving him an example of people conforming their lives to match the kid's expectations (no matter how shallow they may be at this moment) might not be the best thing. I remember when I was 5, and if my home life supported such a decision, I probably would have laughed back at everyone telling me I was wrong.
As it was, at that age I was thrilled to use the kindergarten urinals because it was a fixture that wasn't in my house and never would be. It was a special thing to have access to one. Well, when it came to taking a piss, I'd do the Butters Stoch thing of dropping my pants and lifting my shirt. It was what I learned at home, and it worked effectively. What I didn't learn is that it wasn't a good idea to do it in front of 10 or so other kindergarteners. Their laughter did nothing to me. I don't even really remember their daily reactions as much more than a buzz in the back of my mind while I was just taking a piss, because I didn't give a shit. Eventually, one of the nicer kids offhandedly mentioned the harassment to his mom (slapping my cheeks had recently become part of the ridiculing, another thing I was just flat-out ignoring) and she called my mom to tell her what had been happening. I'm finding a hole in my memory around that point, because I feel like something was done to make things better (perhaps I named names that were harassing me and they got talked to? I do seem to remember being asked.), but I don't remember actually taking steps to avoid that harassment. I might have just gone to the stalls to do what I needed to do.
Long, embarrassing story aside, I see this as a potentially similar thing. The kid just might not get that others will look at him differently if the dad is wearing the same clothes. I think the dad might be better off supporting his choices and letting him grow the way he wants without making him feel normal for it. It's the parent's job to make their kids become the best people they can be, and if you prepare your kid for nothing of the social dangers out there, then you're doing him a disservice, no matter how loving your support was.
I believe the term is gender bending, or cross dressing.Caramel Frappe said:
Fair enough, I had a Scottish friend of mine complaining to me about them, so I was going by what he said.TheDrunkNinja said:
I suppose, but the kilt is a predominately male item.LetalisK said:
Could simply be that gender roles are just simply deeply ingrained in you. And when we feel like people are violating such things, it tends to make us really uncomfortable.BlakBladz said: