I don't do alcohol, for several reasons.
Alcohol is an acquired taste that I simply never bothered to acquire. It tasted like crap when I was a kid, it tastes like crap now.
I'm already less intelligent than I would like to be, and far more abrasive than I probably ought to be. Why would I deliberately become dumber and blunter?
People speak of alcohol as a social lubricant. I dispute this. I am not a social butterfly. I am more like a social dead mackerel: motionless, cold, empty-eyed, slack-jawed, and smelling just slightly off. Ain't no amount of alcohol going to fix that.
I find drunks EXTREMELY obnoxious, regardless of their mood. If you drink you will be around drunks. Not all the time, maybe, but too often for my taste.
My dad was a drunk. My father -- since he recovered several years ago -- is the man I respect most in the world. I watched alcohol turn him into a playground bully, someone I could only fear. Baaaaaad memories. I'm not going to preach at y'all. I just feel like if I were to drink I would probably end up like him, which would mean I had learned nothing from watching him.
Captcha: mare's nest. Something built by female pegasi, perhaps?