For me the difficulty lies in gender reversal and in the assumption of sexual conduct. She's not unattractive, so the assumption is that she must somehow be a sexy vixen or at least pleasureable in bed. This was her SECOND offence which suggests she is both driven and didn't care about the consequences of her actions, which don't lend, to my mind, to the gentle and loving nature of a caring relationship. No-one here knows the facts, whether she was abusive or genuinely caring, but the split consensus on whether the kid should get a medal gets me angry. Would you give a 14 year old girl a medal for having sex with a hot 19 year old guy?
Sexual abuse is something EITHER sex are capable of, and to imagine that women are not capable is extremely naive. The difficulty for the law is proof and, with men, there is (usually) ejaculate or similar to provide ample evidence of sexual misconduct. With women there really isn't and sexual gratification from female predators doesn't necessarily involve penetration, meaning no fluids are produced by the woman. There have been cases of women who have been prosecuted for sexual misconduct to their babies, but proof is so hard to find many social workers won't even try to bring it to court, knowing it's a lost cause.
One of the worst examples of this was when I was working for a children's charity dealing with kids who are going through a really tough time for whatever reason and having to attend awareness training, despite just working on their computers and not having much to do with the kids themselves. During this training, of which I was one of only two people out of the twenty there who wasn't a trained social worker, we were given an example of working in a project with a backyard where the kids play. You see someone looking over the fence and watching the kids play for a few minutes and then they move on. What do you do?
There ensued a 15 minute debate during which police and do nothing were the two extremes but general consensus (and a reasonable one I admit) was to note it in the project diary with a full description of the person so they could be identified should anything untoward come of it.
The next question was, the same person comes back a week later and does the same thing (watching the kids) but this time for a fair bit longer, maybe quarter of an hour. What do you do?
At this stage most of the social workers were concerned and wanting to call the police, citing danger to the kids and intent to rape. He could be a rapist or sex offender and the police could accurately identify him, either way a short visit from the police would warn him off and make sure that he knew he was being watched, further reducing the risk to the kids.
I asked the question, who said the person was a man? I got immediately shouted down and laughed at until the trainers quietened everyone down and confirmed that the sex of the person was NEVER mentioned and that everyone in the room except me had made the assumption that the person was male.
Having experienced some sexual misconduct by both men and women in my life, I am of the opinion there really is no difference in the sexes in this regard, but socially we assume that women don't and men do have these sexually inappropriate urges. I once asked my male friends about their own experiences after divulging some of my own and it turned out all but one had experienced something disturbing or at least unpleasant at the hands of a female partner. I was actually quite hurt the last time a female boss made an aggressive sexual pass at me and I went to my dad for advice and his advice was "what are you complaining about?"...
On a personal level the age of consent is a myth, albeit one regulated by law in our current society. The age of consent has bounced up and down throughout the ages according to the social and moral prevailing thoughts. Each case should be taken individually with no overriding ruling that makes it an automatic offence. After all, any damage done is because of malicious intent and it doesn't matter what age either party is.
Lastly, did anyone else follow the OP's link?! There were THREE other cases listed on the same page. I know we get these things occasionally in the UK but the US seems to be experiencing a surge in these cases. Not sure whether people are more willing to admit guys can be targetted as much as girls, or if there is a genuine upsurge, but we need to get a handle on this quickly. Sexual assault CANNOT be seen as a soft crime, regardless of the sex of the offender.
Sexual abuse is something EITHER sex are capable of, and to imagine that women are not capable is extremely naive. The difficulty for the law is proof and, with men, there is (usually) ejaculate or similar to provide ample evidence of sexual misconduct. With women there really isn't and sexual gratification from female predators doesn't necessarily involve penetration, meaning no fluids are produced by the woman. There have been cases of women who have been prosecuted for sexual misconduct to their babies, but proof is so hard to find many social workers won't even try to bring it to court, knowing it's a lost cause.
One of the worst examples of this was when I was working for a children's charity dealing with kids who are going through a really tough time for whatever reason and having to attend awareness training, despite just working on their computers and not having much to do with the kids themselves. During this training, of which I was one of only two people out of the twenty there who wasn't a trained social worker, we were given an example of working in a project with a backyard where the kids play. You see someone looking over the fence and watching the kids play for a few minutes and then they move on. What do you do?
There ensued a 15 minute debate during which police and do nothing were the two extremes but general consensus (and a reasonable one I admit) was to note it in the project diary with a full description of the person so they could be identified should anything untoward come of it.
The next question was, the same person comes back a week later and does the same thing (watching the kids) but this time for a fair bit longer, maybe quarter of an hour. What do you do?
At this stage most of the social workers were concerned and wanting to call the police, citing danger to the kids and intent to rape. He could be a rapist or sex offender and the police could accurately identify him, either way a short visit from the police would warn him off and make sure that he knew he was being watched, further reducing the risk to the kids.
I asked the question, who said the person was a man? I got immediately shouted down and laughed at until the trainers quietened everyone down and confirmed that the sex of the person was NEVER mentioned and that everyone in the room except me had made the assumption that the person was male.
Having experienced some sexual misconduct by both men and women in my life, I am of the opinion there really is no difference in the sexes in this regard, but socially we assume that women don't and men do have these sexually inappropriate urges. I once asked my male friends about their own experiences after divulging some of my own and it turned out all but one had experienced something disturbing or at least unpleasant at the hands of a female partner. I was actually quite hurt the last time a female boss made an aggressive sexual pass at me and I went to my dad for advice and his advice was "what are you complaining about?"...
On a personal level the age of consent is a myth, albeit one regulated by law in our current society. The age of consent has bounced up and down throughout the ages according to the social and moral prevailing thoughts. Each case should be taken individually with no overriding ruling that makes it an automatic offence. After all, any damage done is because of malicious intent and it doesn't matter what age either party is.
Lastly, did anyone else follow the OP's link?! There were THREE other cases listed on the same page. I know we get these things occasionally in the UK but the US seems to be experiencing a surge in these cases. Not sure whether people are more willing to admit guys can be targetted as much as girls, or if there is a genuine upsurge, but we need to get a handle on this quickly. Sexual assault CANNOT be seen as a soft crime, regardless of the sex of the offender.
