Poll: Female babysitter charged for having sex with 14-year old boy.

[Rule Britannia]

Oh no? that poor dude? If he didn't want it he could have said no...If he wasn't stronger than her then I call bullshit...

 

[AngloDoom]

Has anyone bothered to read the OP's edit? It was a consenting relationship for months.

The problem is, from a legal perspective, the boy couldn't have given consent since he wasn't old enough to. It's like asking a boy his age to consent for risky surgery. She broke the law so she should be fined or put in jail.

I was pretty good at giving consent at 14.

Those laws really irk me, because they presume there is some magical age when people stop being mentally retarded and can make decisions for themselves. These things really should be tried on a case by case basis.

I'm honestly rather confused by the subject. I think a case-by-case idea is certainly a good one, yet how would you establish qualities that allow an individual to have sex? Some people in their twenties haven't learnt to put a condom on, but then some twelve year-olds know enough and are sensible enough to act maturely in a sexual environment.

However, at the same time, if both the girl and boy were mature about their sexual relationship I'd doubt anyone would have heard of it.

If there's no age put to sexual consent, no matter how arbitrary, it becomes a massive headache to sort each case. I agree that in an ideal world this would be sorted case-by-case, but I genuinely can't imagine how that would be done.

I think there should be a defenite line somewhere before puberty. Maybe 12 or so. After that there should at least be a case-by-case review of these things, to decide whether or not to even go to trial. Such as, 14 year old with a 19 year old..... maybe depending on circumstances. 14 year old with a creepy 30 year old... how about jail sir?

I like that approach for the most part (and our avatar makes me more inclined to agree with you...) but the idea of someone being so "creepy" they get insta-jail kind of deflates the whole idea.

What's the maximum age gap? What's the lowest age? If it's before puberty, what about late bloomers or early starters? Does it matter if the two are in a relationship? What if alcohol is involved? Argh, just thinking of all the issues makes my head spin. That's why I think there was a definite line drawn in the sand - if you are above/below this number, you are right/wrong.

In my opinion, if you're mature enough to realise the gravity of the situation you or your partner are now in due to your actions, then you're not going to blab.

 

[Slayer_2]

Everyone saying "if the roles were reversed..." stop it. There is a double standard in our society, and there is still lots of sexism. Like it or not, it's true. You can say that they should treat her like a male sex offender, but at the end of the day, it's not going down like that. Be realistic, there are tons of differences between how males and females are treated in our society. It's not as bad as it was 50 or 100 years ago, but the fact is that these differences exist, so you must take them into consideration.

In this case, here is the view: males all want sex 24/7, provided the girl is hot, STD free, and not going to get pregnant. Females rarely want sex, except with someone they are in a serious relationship with, excepting sluts who drunkenly hook up with people at clubs/bars. Yes it's not true, but that is the view that 90% of the people are gonna accept regarding this case.

But that's the problem. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, you're just accepting it completely. That's what the entire argument is about, there SHOULD NOT be that double standard. We shouldn't just say something that's broken is good enough to use.

Okay, we'll just change society's view on a massive subject in a short period of time, over a trivial case. Yes I sound like a douche, but it's called being realistic. There are lots of things that shouldn't be: theft, murder, hatred, racism, sexism, rape, etc. However, there are these things, and likely, there always will be. Call me an ass, pessimistic, whatever. At the end of the day, the world will still continue to prove me right.

Not trying at all is allowing society to stay the same.

Any drop in crime or discriminating views is a good amount: and these things have happened before. If everyone took your opinion, the world would be stuck in the same rut it was when society was conceived. You're not being a douche, and ass, or even a pessimist, you're totally ignoring the past.

I'm not saying we can't change, of course we can, and have. But over such a trivial case? Likely not.

 

[kickyourass]

Can I just say that it's kinda refreshing to see a story like this involving an adult woman and an under age boy and not the other way around?
Now as for the actual case, since there was no alcohol involved and it looks like it was consensual, I don't think it's as bad as some people think it is.

Once again, turn the sexes around and see how you feel. The idea that female sexuality = innocense and love and male sexuality = predatory creepiness is one of the saddest bits of institutionalised sexism left in the western world...

In this situation I'd feel more or less the same, in this specific case I feel that the age of the people involved is a bit more important. The way I see, it no matter what the gender is, a 19 year old (the age she was when this supposedly started) getting with a 14 year old is massivly different then say a 35 year old getting with a 14 year old. Get what I'm saying?

That's all I'm getting at really. I'm not impressed with the OP's viewpoint, nor that of most others in here on the grounds I specified, but if your opinion wouldn't differ due to the sexes being turned around (or the big test, made to be same sex, which is the best way to show that kind of predator/innocent prey perception for what it is...) then you're officially not sexist imho. From a personal perspective, I'm still not entirely down with your perception of the general okayness of the scenario, but I can respect your reasoning and your opinion on that front. Unless you're nineteen when my daughter turns 14 :/

Well I wouldn't go so far as to say it's 'ok' but since it looks like there wasn't actually any alcohol involved, coupled with the age thing, I would say that some people may be overreacting.

 

[Slayer_2]

Everyone saying "if the roles were reversed..." stop it. There is a double standard in our society, and there is still lots of sexism. Like it or not, it's true. You can say that they should treat her like a male sex offender, but at the end of the day, it's not going down like that. Be realistic, there are tons of differences between how males and females are treated in our society. It's not as bad as it was 50 or 100 years ago, but the fact is that these differences exist, so you must take them into consideration.

In this case, here is the view: males all want sex 24/7, provided the girl is hot, STD free, and not going to get pregnant. Females rarely want sex, except with someone they are in a serious relationship with, excepting sluts who drunkenly hook up with people at clubs/bars. Yes it's not true, but that is the view that 90% of the people are gonna accept regarding this case.

But that's the problem. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, you're just accepting it completely. That's what the entire argument is about, there SHOULD NOT be that double standard. We shouldn't just say something that's broken is good enough to use.

Okay, we'll just change society's view on a massive subject in a short period of time, over a trivial case. Yes I sound like a douche, but it's called being realistic. There are lots of things that shouldn't be: theft, murder, hatred, racism, sexism, rape, etc. However, there are these things, and likely, there always will be. Call me an ass, pessimistic, whatever. At the end of the day, the world will still continue to prove me right.

But the world has proven you wrong, many many times.

If you were correct, there would have been no civil rights movement. There would have been no feminism.

You missed the part where I said "over a trivial case". The suppression of females a few decades ago was something that affected around... ohhh, around a billion people, if not 2. This story is a rather rare occurrence. Of course it probably happens to a few other people, but the story likely never comes out to the media.

 

[darthricardo]

Huge thread is huge, and this may get lost in the press (not to mention I'm sure someone else has mentioned this, but I don't want to go find it), but I'll say it anyways:
What does the kid think? Does he feel offended or assaulted? To be honest, when I was 14 I would have been all over tapping that. And if it's true that both of them were okay with it, I really see no problem here. It's not a huge age difference anyways.

 

[AngloDoom]

Everyone saying "if the roles were reversed..." stop it. There is a double standard in our society, and there is still lots of sexism. Like it or not, it's true. You can say that they should treat her like a male sex offender, but at the end of the day, it's not going down like that. Be realistic, there are tons of differences between how males and females are treated in our society. It's not as bad as it was 50 or 100 years ago, but the fact is that these differences exist, so you must take them into consideration.

In this case, here is the view: males all want sex 24/7, provided the girl is hot, STD free, and not going to get pregnant. Females rarely want sex, except with someone they are in a serious relationship with, excepting sluts who drunkenly hook up with people at clubs/bars. Yes it's not true, but that is the view that 90% of the people are gonna accept regarding this case.

But that's the problem. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, you're just accepting it completely. That's what the entire argument is about, there SHOULD NOT be that double standard. We shouldn't just say something that's broken is good enough to use.

Okay, we'll just change society's view on a massive subject in a short period of time, over a trivial case. Yes I sound like a douche, but it's called being realistic. There are lots of things that shouldn't be: theft, murder, hatred, racism, sexism, rape, etc. However, there are these things, and likely, there always will be. Call me an ass, pessimistic, whatever. At the end of the day, the world will still continue to prove me right.

Not trying at all is allowing society to stay the same.

Any drop in crime or discriminating views is a good amount: and these things have happened before. If everyone took your opinion, the world would be stuck in the same rut it was when society was conceived. You're not being a douche, and ass, or even a pessimist, you're totally ignoring the past.

I'm not saying we can't change, of course we can, and have. But over such a trivial case? Likely not.

Of course not, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. The point when you stop trying is when you've truly failed.

Also, Rosa Parks.

 

[scythecow]

Legally she should go to prison. Morally she should go to rehab. 14 is pretty young, but it's kind of a borderline thing. I was fairly mature at 14. I'm sure many people were. I've known a lot of immature 19-20 year olds. Also kids are growing up really fast now. It's really CREEPY that a 19 year old girl would WANT a 14 year old boy, but I sincerely doubt the kid was complaining and I doubt that this experience is going to be a problem for him. It will however be a problem for the girl whether she does jail time or not and since I don't agree that she actually HURT the kid as they were in a consenting relationship there should be mercy in sentencing her.

And you know what? There should be a double standard. How attractive people are to each other is an important part of virtually all relationships. If the girl was ugly or 40+ it would be more of a gross-desperation/coercion thing than a creepy-hot thing.

This guy is going to look back to when he was 14 and think "Score!" rather than "Oh god, why did I do this?"
The situation changes drastically based on physical attractiveness. That's real life. Therefore the consequences should also change. It matters how attractive the boy finds this girl. 14 year olds should have some rights.

Also if the gender roles were reversed my position would not change. If anything it would be more justified as girls basically mature faster and older guys tend to be a good match.

This isn't rape, abuse or assault. Though the girl has a weird creepy thing for teenage boys.

 

[devilkingx]

how about consent guys? how about we say that sex is legal as long as the parties involved consent(all other opinions are irrelevant) there isnt an age where you'll be ready it'll just happen

if you asked me at the beginning of 6th grade if i wanted to have sex, i probably would have said "uhhh sure" without knowing what i was really getting myself into, cue puberty, if you were to ask me at the end of 6th(the last few months of 6th grade) i would have said yes, and every single time after that even now, but there are still kids who would say no at my age(im the same age as the "victim") and thats their buisness, the law shouldnt decide when your ready, you should decide that

now if you'll excuse me ive gotta go work out so im in better shape to score poon and beat up people i dont like(yes that is my motivation for working out)

 

[Nesco Nomen]

Luckiest boy in America medal yet?

 

[Robert Ewing]

God damn. I'd kill to have this happen to me. Lucky kid, she isn't bad looking either. Though this is a serious crime, and I guess she should be punished in the usual way that a sexual assault is punished.

 

[Evidencebased]

Uh... "go to jail." JAIL.

Is this really a difficult question? When you're an adult, you don't molest kids. And when you're in a position of power over someone, like a babysitter, you don't molest that person either! This is like, "How to Not Rape Kids" 101 here -- refraining from screwing 14-year-olds is a damn low bar for an adult woman, people!

 

[Grant Hobba]

(Story found here [http://abcnews.go.com/US/connecticut-babysitter-accused-sexually-assaulting-14-year-boy/story?id=14238187] if you wanna read it)

The article is pretty skimpy on the details, but the gist of it is that there's a 20-year old babysitter who was charged with sexual assault of a 14-year old boy she babysat. She allegedly got him drunk before sleeping with him, and legally, that makes it sexual assault (because she intoxicated someone with the purpose of clouding their mental judgement before seducing them). She's facing jail time, but her lawyer says that she needs rehab instead.

The events aren't explained in detail, but honestly, I don't feel like she should be in jail (even though "sex rehab" is a load of bullocks). Part of it is that while 14 is too young to have sex with an adult imo, the age gap between her and the guy is only 6 years or so.

The main reason I don't take this seriously though, and I really don't want to admit it; is that she's an attractive young female as opposed to the stereotypical sex offender. All hate for double standards aside, would you really send this woman to jail for getting a teen drunk and having sex with him?

I honestly don't know whether to have contempt for this girl, or to make a stupid joke about the kid being a hero. What do you guys think?

[HEADING=1] BIG, NOTICEABLE EDIT: [/HEADING]

Another site said they were in a sexual relationship for several months, and his mom was the one who reported her. This almost definitely means that she didn't use the alcohol to force him into sex, and that they were both consenting. Many people would still find this wrong, but a lot of you were confused whether or not the sex was forced. Also worth mentioning is that the relationship started when he was 14 and she was 19, so it's more of a 5 year-ish difference.

Sorry that I didn't have the full story when I made the topic. My bad...

if it was a legit sexual assault, the she should go to jail if a man did this he would so, i believe women should too.

 

[Slayer_2]

Everyone saying "if the roles were reversed..." stop it. There is a double standard in our society, and there is still lots of sexism. Like it or not, it's true. You can say that they should treat her like a male sex offender, but at the end of the day, it's not going down like that. Be realistic, there are tons of differences between how males and females are treated in our society. It's not as bad as it was 50 or 100 years ago, but the fact is that these differences exist, so you must take them into consideration.

In this case, here is the view: males all want sex 24/7, provided the girl is hot, STD free, and not going to get pregnant. Females rarely want sex, except with someone they are in a serious relationship with, excepting sluts who drunkenly hook up with people at clubs/bars. Yes it's not true, but that is the view that 90% of the people are gonna accept regarding this case.

But that's the problem. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, you're just accepting it completely. That's what the entire argument is about, there SHOULD NOT be that double standard. We shouldn't just say something that's broken is good enough to use.

Okay, we'll just change society's view on a massive subject in a short period of time, over a trivial case. Yes I sound like a douche, but it's called being realistic. There are lots of things that shouldn't be: theft, murder, hatred, racism, sexism, rape, etc. However, there are these things, and likely, there always will be. Call me an ass, pessimistic, whatever. At the end of the day, the world will still continue to prove me right.

Not trying at all is allowing society to stay the same.

Any drop in crime or discriminating views is a good amount: and these things have happened before. If everyone took your opinion, the world would be stuck in the same rut it was when society was conceived. You're not being a douche, and ass, or even a pessimist, you're totally ignoring the past.

I'm not saying we can't change, of course we can, and have. But over such a trivial case? Likely not.

Of course not, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. The point when you stop trying is when you've truly failed.

Also, Rosa Parks.

Yes, yes, and every vote matters, we can make a change, etc. There's a whole list of people who've made monumental changes to the world, but there is a much longer list of those who haven't. And I am one of them, simple statistics.

 

[theultimateend]

Anything else is admitting that we have one rule for one and one for another.

Which is the case.

Anywho, that's basically all I have to add. These kinda threads are impossibly heated. Lots of evangelical like rage thrown around.

I was in a hauntingly similar situation as this guy when I was younger than him, it didn't scar me for life.

I'd actually like to think it is part of what has made me who I am, not trapped in a bubble fearing or worshipping sexuality.