Poll: Friends dating your ex

[quiet_samurai]

Now I just feel... empty that 2 of my best friends seem to think my ex is more intressting then me. I don't know what I hope to gain from this post. It's nothing more then a rant anyway. Share your stories, tell me to grow a pair of ignore it for what it is. Rant.

It's because vagina is great.

Anyways, I have had to deal with this before as well as many of my friends. The best way to settle it....honest to god.... is to just hit him. Seriously, punch him right in the nose, and when he falls down reach and help him up, then tell him you forgive him. Talking about it obviously doesn't work. But if you are honestly feeling vengeful, steal her back and when she is most happy.... dump her. It would be grerat.

I have always said that you never date a friend's X-GF or sister without permission first. And taking a crack to the dome is always a viable way to seal the contract.

 

[Irridium]

too bad the image isn't there, but you still can describe us what you saw?

Bet you any money it's Barney Stinton.

It is actually Dr. House extending a bro fist. He is saying "Bro's B4 Hos, Man!

Spoiler

 

[HandfulofWolf]

too bad the image isn't there, but you still can describe us what you saw?

Bet you any money it's Barney Stinton.

It is actually Dr. House extending a bro fist. He is saying "Bro's B4 Hos, Man!

Spoiler

That's even better.

 

[anthony87]

I always enjoy reading about this kinda stuff. Don't worry OP it's not like I'm taking any sort of pleasure or anything it's because.....
*cue story*
See, my friends and I are pretty damn open about things towards each other, I think it's because we're not that big a group(there's like 5-7in the "main" group if you catch my drift)and for some reason we never sugar coat things. Hell about a year and a half ago we tied one of us to a chair because we were all worried he was suicidal(sp?).....turns out we were wrong, he was just a little depressed but not enough to hurt himself. But hell it still helped.

Anyways, my friends and I have had the same kinda situation you're in right now. Dating ex's and what have you. There's at least 3 of us(myself included)who've gone out with the girl while the other friend is still with her.

Now you're probably wondering why I put in all that crap rather than just making my point straight away. And that's because I wanted to show that if my friends and I can go through (kinda)kidnapping each other, stealing ex girlfriends and causing their current girlfriends to cheat on them, and still manage to play poker and make jokes about said cheating/stealing then you'll be fine.

Girls come and go man but your mates are your mates. Try making jokes and whatnot with your friend about the current situation, it works wonders.

 

[justhereforthemoney]

Well I do feel awful for you, but I have the (lucky fortune?) of my ex being a complete jealous controlling *****, so my friends would never go near her because they know she is like that. Also she moved to Miami, so she is completely out of my life now

 

[TheTim]

when you break up its anyones game dude.

 

[x0ny]

heh, I thought my ex was out of my life, but 8 years later she's back, temporarily, dating my co worker. It was awkward seeing her cuz we ended on such crap terms, I didn't say a single word to her all night when the boss organized a poker night. I could've been more mature about it and just thought, yeah it's been such a long time, just forget about it. But it's more fun to torture ourselves inside. =) Simply because we want to hate that person.

 

[Trivun]

[HEADING=1]THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE BRO-CODE!!!!![/HEADING]

Sorry for that, but I had to get it out there. Once a guy and his girlfriend split up, then they are both completely free agents and can do what the hell they like, they have no obligation to each other or each other's friends. If I split up with a girl and she dated my best friend, then fine, that's their situation, not mine. And in the same circumastances, I would expect the girl to be alright with me dating her friends.

That said, there may not be a bro-code, or a 'sis-code' for girls, but there is still such a thing as friendship and common decency. As far as dating your ex-girlfriend goes, your best friend was perfectly in the clear. As far as blowing off everyone and lying to you all? He was in the wrong and you are perfectly justified in breaking ties with him. But regarding him dating your ex, he's perfectly at liberty to do so and you have no right to be angry or upset over it.

 

[Dahni]

I HATE my friends dating my ex-boyfriends behind my back. There's none of my exs bar one that I would be bothered about them dating, provided they did say to me. I don't mean that they have to get my permission, I couldn't care less. I'd just rather know about it BEFORE it happens, as opposed to a few months down the line because that would make things awkward. The only one I'd be bothered about is because he was a dick to me and I would get annoyed at any of my friends who went out with him, because they know how horrid he was.

I don't think you're in the wrong for being hardly pleased that two of your friends have dated your ex-girlfriend.

I doubt they think she's wholly more interesting, I think it's just because guys are weird and generally, anything with a pair of tits and the other relevant parts are a bit more interesting if only just to look at. So, in that sense, they've done nothing wrong. However, that said, if they lied to you and ditched you in favour of her, that is not cool...

 

[Aanorith]

[HEADING=1] But regarding him dating your ex, he's perfectly at liberty to do so and you have no right to be angry or upset over it.

Well, Id lie if I said I wasnt upset about the first guy dating my ex. But mostly I was just pissed for him blowing us off and laying about it for so long.

As for the second friend in our current situation, I'm not mad or upset. It's just a real bummer that he doesn't wanna hang out anymore. I'm not losing sleep over it. It's just a tiresome situation. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

its the ultimate act of betrayal

 

[Aanorith]

I always enjoy reading about this kinda stuff. Don't worry OP it's not like I'm taking any sort of pleasure or anything it's because.....
*cue story*
See, my friends and I are pretty damn open about things towards each other, I think it's because we're not that big a group(there's like 5-7in the "main" group if you catch my drift)and for some reason we never sugar coat things. Hell about a year and a half ago we tied one of us to a chair because we were all worried he was suicidal(sp?).....turns out we were wrong, he was just a little depressed but not enough to hurt himself. But hell it still helped.

Anyways, my friends and I have had the same kinda situation you're in right now. Dating ex's and what have you. There's at least 3 of us(myself included)who've gone out with the girl while the other friend is still with her.

Now you're probably wondering why I put in all that crap rather than just making my point straight away. And that's because I wanted to show that if my friends and I can go through (kinda)kidnapping each other, stealing ex girlfriends and causing their current girlfriends to cheat on them, and still manage to play poker and make jokes about said cheating/stealing then you'll be fine.

Girls come and go man but your mates are your mates. Try making jokes and whatnot with your friend about the current situation, it works wonders.

I feel ya dude. Trying my best to just act like normal. It's not the fact that thier dating that bothers me much, simply that we don't hang out anymore. Thanks for sharing dude.

 

[Truehare]

I don't know about any "bro-code" or anything, but I believe friends should respect each other's feelings. If a friend did something like that to me, I simply wouldn't consider him my friend anymore. I mean, not only did he start going out with your ex knowing how you felt about her (which I assume he did), but he spent three months lying to you about it. If he was doing nothing wrong, what reason did he have for lying that long?

I know that when you break up, you and your ex are free to do whatever you want. She is completely right in dating anyone, even a friend of yours. But the same doesn't hold true to your friend. He is not free to date her ignoring your feelings, not if he want to remain your friend. That is how I see it, anyway.

 

[PunchClockVillain]

I much as I hate to admit, I removed my ex from my news feed on facebook. Everytime I see her picture with her new boyfriend, I start clenching fists. I don't even know why. I'm probably just envious that she has moved on and I haven't. My own fault though.

Sorry. OT: There is no "bro code" Once you break up with a girl, she's free game, and you just have to deal with it. The only thing I see wrong with this is he was a dick and passed up his friends for a relationship that has now ended. Sounds like he is regretting it now, but hopefully he will learn.

EDIT: BTW, aren't "No" and "There is no bro-code" essentially the same answer?

 

[Aanorith]

EDIT: BTW, aren't "No" and "There is no bro-code" essentially the same answer?

Hehe, well yeah. Figured I sould add it for those tired of hearing the words. Some of my friends are firm believers of there being no such thing and quite a hot topic for debate. Made the "There is no bro-code" All in caps and a ! for ze added weight of the sentement~

 

[HentMas]

bro-code??

i find that kind of hilarious

here in my town if you like a girl its all you care about, if your friend likes her you both do your best to get her, if you succeed and then she cheates on you with your best friend its not your friends fault, she is the *****, if you broke up with a girl and a friend´s interested you dont make anything out of it, i mean, friends are always friends, a girls is there, then not, then again, then who knows

i mean... in this society, who is the one that chooses?? you?? yeah right!, its the girl, its always the girl who chooses who to be with, if she is with you, and then she is with your friend, why blame your friend?? she is perfectly capable of making her decition, its not as if your friend forced her to be with him

in my experience, "oh god my friend is dating my ex" is just a stupid thing, i mean, in the end you are nothing to her, you both broke up (whatever the circumstances) and she is free to do whatever she wants, as is your friend, why would you restrain people you care about to look for happines?? if he is your friend NOT letting him go out with her is kind of a jerkish move, i mean, if he wants to be happy you should want that too, its not as if she was your source of happiness anymore.

snip

 

[archvile93]

It's fine by me as long as he isn't the reason she's my ex.

 

[Stoic raptor]

Well I have never been in this situation, but I dont think me or my friends would care.
I dont belive in the bro-code. If I had a choice to go with my friends or my girl, I am definitly picking my girl. My friends would do the same thing

 

[PrimoThePro]

I can't say a thing about this due to the fact I never had a real girlfriend. With that being said I am only 14 so I guess even if I did have one I wouldn't feel anything real about them.

you are surprising mature for your age!
OT: Focus on keeping your friends. dont focus on it, just do it.

 

[Luffie]

'bro-code'? are you freakin kidding me?

what goes on between two people is entirely their own business, noone is property either of you or another. If your friend ever blows you off for anything it doesnt matter the slightest what the 'reason' is, there is never anything to blame but that person, it is your direct connection to them which is responsible for what they will and wont do for you; i cant believe the bitterness to the point of "punch that ***** in the face"

of course theres no law about blowing off friends but its decency, personally i dont mind if someone blows me off or whatever reasons they have, a few times is fine but im sure everyone would agree there is a point, somewhere along the line, when you just cant 'know' that person anymore, they arent your friend because you never see them, so it simply ceases to be, move on.

Its all about priorities, not which priorities they have above you or any of the specifics but whether they are willing to even sometimes prioritise you. This bro-code is demeaning and panders to a illustrious stereotype of male companionship while doing nothing more than tarnishing the concept of sincere human interaction