Poll: Friends dating your ex

[Arkhangelsk]

There is no bro code. Seriously, you break up with someone, you have nothing to do with what they do with their lives. Why should a friend feel guilty for dating her then?

I hear ya. I am being slightly bothered by it yes, but I have "given him my blessing".
The main issue as said a few times before is the fact that he is alienating his friends by her influence.

Well, that is something completely different. Just make sure that if someone confronts him about it, don't let it be you. Otherwise your ex might get mad at you.

 

[Aanorith]

There is no bro code. Seriously, you break up with someone, you have nothing to do with what they do with their lives. Why should a friend feel guilty for dating her then?

I hear ya. I am being slightly bothered by it yes, but I have "given him my blessing".
The main issue as said a few times before is the fact that he is alienating his friends by her influence.

Well, that is something completely different. Just make sure that if someone confronts him about it, don't let it be you. Otherwise your ex might get mad at you.

Yeah. I did mention it during our "talk" also telling him I was aware that it may sound false coming from me. But him not being around and answering his phone anymore has become a rather hot topic in our group as of late.

 

[darkless]

Why should I care who my ex or my friend dates? it's there lives they can do what they wish with them.

 

[Johnnyallstar]

Depends. Are they dating your ex for the booty, or is it a serious relationship.

If it's just for a bangaround, then it's wrong, but if it's meant to be, then it's tolerable.

 

[Lucifron]

Sure it's was disloyal to some people and yes I was upset. But friends also makes mistakes. You take the good with the bad. Everyone deserves a second chance. Now it did take me awhile to cool down and do the mature approuch. But we're patching it up and thats what important now. Thanks for sharing.

Well, I did not mean that he is beyond redemption, but his manner of getting his noodle wet warrants an apology at least. In the end, who gives a damn in the grand scale of things?

 

[Aanorith]

Sure it's was disloyal to some people and yes I was upset. But friends also makes mistakes. You take the good with the bad. Everyone deserves a second chance. Now it did take me awhile to cool down and do the mature approuch. But we're patching it up and thats what important now. Thanks for sharing.

Well, I did not mean that he is beyond redemption, but his manner of getting his noodle wet warrants an apology at least. In the end, who gives a damn in the grand scale of things?

Yeah I hear ya. He did apoligize after thier relationship ended and I suppose thats good enough hehe.

 

[Gingerman]

I believe slightly in the bro code in certain circumstances.

I've currently broke it as my girlfriend dated one of my friends 4 years before we started. Now normally I would ask for his blessing but I didn't find out until several months into dating and that he gave the thumbs up to her for dating me as I'm a "Great" guy. I'm not used to complements so that slightly freaked me out.

 

[Daveman]

I wanted us to still be friends, I asked him why he lied about it, why couldnt you just have told me?

Now, to some this may sound stupid, it's not just the fact that he's dating my ex, it's that he blew all of us off in favor of her. That's what pains me. Short story is basically him telling me he really didn't think it was any of my business and "hey you broke up with her".

Yeah, never mind anything else, ultimately he was a shitty friend, for whatever reason. I'd just be pissed off by that. But dating an ex... is just that, you can't get annoyed about it. Most likely she likes them for similar reasons as to why she liked you because, being mates, you're going to be fairly similar; vice versa as well.

Now I just feel... empty that 2 of my best friends seem to think my ex is more intressting then me.

I think it could possibly be due to her genitals...

Regards to the poll, I don't agree with "bro-code", if you like somebody then your friends shouldn't be stopping you see somebody. However, as I said, time needs to be put into friendship. If they don't do that, that's a whole other kettle of fish.

 

[Adorann]

He doesn't have to follow any sort of code/morals, but it shows you his character and respect for his friends. There's probably not much you can do about it, apart from knowing that your friend isn't as reliable as you had once thought.

 

[pompom8volt]

I had a not-so-similar experience recently. My two best friends, one a girl and the other a guy, started going out 1 day before I planned on asking her out. I decided to just let it go. He was my best friend and they seemed kind of good for each other.

I continued talking to her and hanging out just like I always had. Why wouldn't I? Well she started having some emotional problems, and got really depressed. I decided that since she didn't have very many friends, I had to be there for her more than ever. *he* noticed I was being more nice to her than normal, and got really territorial. He stopped talking to me and told her not to talk to me.

After about 2 weeks of this I confronted him, and he gave me some speech about me trying to steal her, and pretty much was acting like a total dick. (especially because I no longer had feelings for her) We quit talking, but about 2 months later his girlfriend contacted me again and started telling me how lonely he was. (funny, right? piss off your friends and you stop having friends.) She said it would mean a lot to her if I tried to talk to him, and we have since started talking again, but it's... Different. We will probably never be best bros again.

EDIT: a few typos in the middle due to me needing natural sleep every once in a while.

 

[AWAR]

"Bros b4 hoes"

 

[JEBWrench]

If she's your ex, as in "you're not dating her now", then why shouldn't your friends date her?

All of your friends should.

 

[aPod]

Show alittle class, if you want your friends girl after they break up let him know of your intentions, if he says no then you have to decide who is more important to you.

Always pick your bro though dude, come-on. Same goes on the flipsyde for the ladies.

 

[pompom8volt]

I never knew of a "bro code" until this very moment.

You probably don't get out much

 

[Aanorith]

I wanted us to still be friends, I asked him why he lied about it, why couldnt you just have told me?

Now, to some this may sound stupid, it's not just the fact that he's dating my ex, it's that he blew all of us off in favor of her. That's what pains me. Short story is basically him telling me he really didn't think it was any of my business and "hey you broke up with her".

Yeah, never mind anything else, ultimately he was a shitty friend, for whatever reason. I'd just be pissed off by that. But dating an ex... is just that, you can't get annoyed about it. Most likely she likes them for similar reasons as to why she liked you because, being mates, you're going to be fairly similar; vice versa as well.

Now I just feel... empty that 2 of my best friends seem to think my ex is more intressting then me.

I think it could possibly be due to her genitals...

Regards to the poll, I don't agree with "bro-code", if you like somebody then your friends shouldn't be stopping you see somebody. However, as I said, time needs to be put into friendship. If they don't do that, that's a whole other kettle of fish.

Fair enough. It's always alittle depressing seeing a friend think first and foremost with his dick but I won't stop them from dating if it makes em happy. He's still a friend in my book so the rest is up to him.

 

[GLo Jones]

One of my friends is so close to his brother, they're inseparable. The younger of the two is happily with the older's ex, and we all hang out together. There's no awkwardness or anything.

IMO: It all depends on how the situation is dealt with, we all handled it with laughter and one-liners.

 

[Umberphoenix]

I never knew of a "bro code" until this very moment.

You probably don't get out much

Most of my friends are single.

 

[alinos]

Well my second friend has bin pretty straight up about it the whole time and I understand the "honeymoon" period where you wanna spend every wake hour with your new-found love. I'm sure it work out in the end anyway. Thanks for sharing dude.

yeah if the 2nd friend had kept it a secret and knew it annoyed you when the other guy kept it a secret, if it was me when i found out i wouldve socked him one purely for being an ass

but yeah if he was straight up and youve made no real intentions since your olds friend broke up with her to get back together i think its more than fine

 

[jthm]

A little advice.
MAN UP. Your feelings of abandonment are overly sensitive.

That said, it's poor form to date your best friend's ex. I'd say she's getting with them to bother you. It's not that you're less interesting than she is (I mean, you could be, but I don't know you) to your friends, it's that sex is more interesting to them than you are. Makes your friends a bit shallow, but there you have it.