Poll: Girls Don't Like Assholes.

[kingcom]

Joking aside, nobody knows what women want, because women are individuals too.

Sorry thats all I can think of with these threads..

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

for me, it's being sensitive, a good listener, a good sense of humor, takes care of himself, and has a huge... heart.

 

[thehorror2]

The secret, friends, is confidence. Don't just TRY to be awesome, KNOW that you are awesome, and awesomeness will accumulate around you. I went from halfwit mouthbreather to surrounded by women who want to jump my bones (some of them are underage, it's creepy) in a span of months, all from establishing a steady workout regimen. It wasn't the physical fitness that did it (I'm not actually much more buff than I was when I started) but the fact that I felt better about myself both for improving my lifestyle and setting and attaining goals. Will it work for everyone? Obviously not, but I guarantee you will at least live a happier life if you find something that does for you what exercise did for me.

 

[Don Savik]

Some guys like "assholes". Some don't.

/thread

Exactly my good Smash. Some people like fit, confident people, and others don't. How many threads have we had about people expressing their love for fat chicks? At least 5 in the past couple months if I recall.

Anyways, Instead of castrating all whiny men from relationships, I have a new plan. Compliment people you see who are so down and depressed all the time. You don't have to be their friend or go out with them, just be nice to them! That way, more people gain confidence, and more people get happy! Lets stop this stigma that all sad people deserve to be grumpy and sad. Saying "no girl likes a whiny loser with no confidence" isn't going to boost anyone's confidence. Saying negative things with a positive underlying meaning is pretty much just saying a negative thing.

 

[Panzer_God]

Constructive comment time: This is another thread topic designed to get a lot of the tried and true bland responses/posts, in order to achieve some sort of badge/achievement for the OPs profile.

Actually, I got all the badges I would get from this from my last thread where we discussed the fact that I thought my girlfriend was in porn. I honestly expected this thread to die 50 posts ago, but I had a thought, I wrote the thought down and I shared the thought. Whether you approve of the originality of the thought or not, I don't really care.

 

[Panzer_God]

Some guys like "assholes". Some don't.

/thread

Exactly my good Smash. Some people like fit, confident people, and others don't. How many threads have we had about people expressing their love for fat chicks? At least 5 in the past couple months if I recall.

Anyways, Instead of castrating all whiny men from relationships, I have a new plan. Compliment people you see who are so down and depressed all the time. You don't have to be their friend or go out with them, just be nice to them! That way, more people gain confidence, and more people get happy! Lets stop this stigma that all sad people deserve to be grumpy and sad. Saying "no girl likes a whiny loser with no confidence" isn't going to boost anyone's confidence. Saying negative things with a positive underlying meaning is pretty much just saying a negative thing.

I'm not pretending to have positivity to this, it's less a "Things get better" and more of a "Please, god, stop whining". I'm saying negative things because I have no patience anymore to try and help those people. I help people who want help.

 

[Panzer_God]

Constructive comment time: This is another thread topic designed to get a lot of the tried and true bland responses/posts, in order to achieve some sort of badge/achievement for the OPs profile.

Actually, I got all the badges I would get from this from my last thread where we discussed the fact that I thought my girlfriend was in porn. I honestly expected this thread to die 50 posts ago, but I had a thought, I wrote the thought down and I shared the thought. Whether you approve of the originality of the thought or not, I don't really care.

Yeah, I was slow on my edits (my post is a tad different now), I didn't mean to be calling you out exactly...

Don't lie to me about caring tho... that's obvious ; P

Ah! Excellent, now I don't have to hold a petty grudge against you until I get too drunk to remember it later!

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Maybe it's just assholes liking other assholes?


I mean it would be nice to see some women complaining about why men only chase insipid bimbo's, just for the sake of balance. XD I kid, generalisations are bad, but really I don't really understand why you'd hold others in resentment over who they're attracted to; I mean it's not as if it's something they can control and it's not something you can change, if they've found what they're looking for then good for them, best of luck, plenty more fish in the sea, no use crying over spilled milk. I guess I'm not really the jealous type. =/ I also don't really understand why people think saying something to the effect of 'be more confident' is in any way helpful, it's kind of like telling someone to 'stop being sad and start being awesome'. Eh, oh well.

 

[Siege_TF]

There are two kinds of women drawn towards assholes;
1. Manipulators. Thinking they can use their feminine wiles, they try to change the focus of their target's selfishness to themselves. That they fail over and over until they die of old age (or less natural causes depending on just how assholish their intended victims are) is beside the point.
2. Fools. Nuff' said.

 

[Jaeke]

Mmm... muffins...


Ahem... *cough*. Yes, I see...

Well, it's not that girls don't like guys like us... its that hot girls don't like guys like us.

[sub]hahaha me so funny[/sub]

OT:I'm sure there are a fair amount of decent, well-looking and "experienced" people on the Escapist (as far as I could tell from threads) and I would think that many could agree, as this is my personal opinion, that both females, and males, are drawn to similar interests more than looks(though whatever you're interested in will often reflect your looks in some or most ways), and personality (though I believe that is 2nd to interest and would contain things like confidence).


But, just as you've put it, it is just my opinion:

Interests>Personality>Looks(but really, there is a limit for everyone, ugly or ravashing) etc. etc...

I do very well see what you are getting at though OP. It is true that confidence is a major factor, but people with similar interests will likely share similar personalities (or at the least, compatible) and if you have a confident personality, a person you are attracted to (and vice versa) will probably share either an equal sense of confidence, or, and this is the usual case for "guys like us", greater sense of it.

So I believe that yes, confidence is a piece, but its a smaller piece of a bigger puzzle, and not just the SINGLE key to getting someone.

 

[Sacman]

Bah I hate these threads... it's always let's hate on the guys with no confidence because they don't fit in to society and like to complain about it somewhere they don't think they'll be judged...

But us shy guys aren't at all confident and aren't looking to be... So telling us to grow balls is hardly sound advise... from personal experience it's not about "getting the girl"... it's about waiting for them to come get us... for the exact reason that we have no self esteem or confidence and are afraid of the crippling depression and psychological confidence impairing scars that come from rejection... and other such things...

Now shame on you for telling us off for being our selves... Just because we're not the archetypal, "asshole" doesn't automatically make us a bunch of slimy, coniving, cowards... It's the coniving and cowardess that does...

 

[keiji_Maeda]

Let's get this out of the way really quickly. THIS IS AN OPINION. It is my opinion, so obviously I think it is right, but I am in possession of no facts and figures.Now then, onto the good part. I am also not speaking for all women, just the ones I know from personal experience. I don't claim to speak for everyone, but this is the combination of opinions of girls I've known my entire life.

As denizens of the Internet, I'm sure we have all seen our fair share of whining about girls. I, spending more than a fair bit of time on the internet, have seen far more whining about girls than I am comfortable with. It is in recent years, however, that I have noticed a disturbing shift in the specific complaints.

When I was but a wee lad, 15, 16 or so, I whined about girls more than I care to admit. I went to the internet to whine with people who agreed with me, and we complained about how we had done something wrong that girls didn't like. We looked at what 'we' could change about ourselves to make girls like us more, and while we never did figure it out, we blamed ourselves for not getting the girls.

Not so much anymore. Now that I'm a fully grown manly man in my twenties I come to the internet, not to complain about girls, but to complain about lots of other things. However, the complaints about girls are impossible to avoid and I found myself reading sob stories much like the ones I had posted. There was a change in the stories though, where instead of trying to figure out what we could do better, young boys were complaining about the girls themselves.

Instead of "What can I do to make her notice me?" it became "Why won't that ***** pay attention to me instead of that asshole boyfriend of hers?". Instead of trying to rise above the problem, people misdirected the problem and chose to blame the girls for falling in love with assholes. That's not fair to anyone. It's not fair to the guys the girls like, since quite a few of them aren't assholes, it's not fair to yourself, since it means you'll never try to improve and it's not fair to the girls themselves because they aren't attracted to assholes.

"But Panzer" you might ask, "then why aren't they dating guys like us?" The answer is simple.

Confidence.

One of the traits of internet guys like us is low self-confidence, while guys who are assholes tend to possess very high levels of confidence. It's unfortunate, but in my experience it's true, and girls notice. Even if it's in subtle things, body positioning, facial expressions, clothing, a man's confidence shines through loud and clear to women, and they're drawn to it. The reason they get the girl is the same reason most internet guys hate them, because they know that they can get the girl and act accordingly. Girls like guys who know what they want and go for it, which unfortunately doesn't describe most of us.

What do you think, am I right, am I wrong, am I a jackass? Let me know what you think.



Side Discussion: "Friendzone" The friend zone isn't a negative, it's just a term used to describe a platonic relationship with a girl you like. Guess what? It's normal and healthy to be friend zoned, as it lets you have friends without trying to sleep with them. The problem is when guys think that they are 'above' the friend zone and it's insulting to put them their. Do yourself and the rest of us a favor, if your train of thought goes along the lines of "Why am I being friend-zoned? I'm so much nicer and more attentive than her boyfriend, I would be better for her!" Then please, stop talking. The reason she friend zoned you, specifically, is because you have an over-inflated ego and are still lacking in the all-important self confidence to actually say something to the girl you care about.

Source: Two older sisters, three younger ones, the mother that raised me and the fact that 95% of friends I've had through my entire life are female.


EDIT: Another phrase that tends to denote the fact that you aren't the virtuous warrior, stuck in the friend zone unfairly, but are in fact an asshole who deludes themselves with self-aggrandizing tales of your date-ability is the phrase "Girls just don't like nice guys like me". This is wrong. I know this entire thing is opinion, but if your opinion is this, your opinion is wrong. In order to be less wrong, I suggest anyone who thinks like that to remove a word, leaving "girls don't like guys like me".

Well as ide from the fact that you're referring to girls as "that *****" aren't you on your way to becoming an asshole yourself?(guess my vote )

But on an aside from that particularly Pc commennt, i don't think being confident and being a complete, and utter ASS is inherently conncected. YOu could always just be actually confident, instead of being slefish, greedy or bullying...you know.....you did know that right?

Also, isn't this line of reasoning the same thing as saying that all guys like sultry girls?

 

[Cyberjester]

As one of those quiet ones who used to spend most of their time bailing out lasses from their retard boyfriends, yes. Yes they are attacked to "assholes". It's also true in my subjective experience that calm, well mannered and stable makes for great friend material but you'll constantly be single, while boorish, boisterous and... 'frantically searches for another b word' Uh, something? Violent and antisocial guys will never lack for female company.

So the question then becomes, how highly do I value myself? Do I want to be the jerk that gets the girl or do I want to be the good person who dies single. So far it's single, but that knightly thing is kinda draining. Another 3am conversation with a lass who's drunk and wants to kill herself because of her stupid boyfriend who assaulted her, ending with her not killing herself, waking up and still not leaving them will probably end the nice.

Because nice guys really do finish last, and breaking heads brings a sort of dark satisfaction.

For you? You will zen out, finally find a nice girl and think you were wrong and everything's okay, OR you will die single OR you will become everything you hate and all that you despise, turning into that violent jerk that you heaped scorn on saying "Why can't we be more" and the cycle will continue. Bets on the last one, since the first usually results when they've been smashed beyond coping and/or have decided to settle down after spending all their time with said jerks and turns into the last one anyway.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I'd feel a bit sorry for him but it'd put me off him even more. Instead of pining over me (me of all people. Look at the fucking state of me xD) he should be trying to find a girl who would make him happy.
Or maybe I would like him too if he took the time to talk to me instead of sitting there quietly with a right face on.

Is that some people's method of putting themselves out there? Sitting there and hoping for people to notice them? It doesn't seem a valid complaint to say "That ***** is paying attention to people that are talking to her!, yet she doesn't notice my apathy and indifference!"

I'd say I'm quite a shy and awkward guy, but if I'm interested in somebody I'll still talk to them, because they're somebody worth talking to after all if I think I'm interested in them. The first thing I think when I want somebody to start noticing me isn't "QUICK, LETS BLEND IN WITH THIS PLANT POT AND NOT DO ANYTHING!"

I wouldn't say you need masses of confidence to just talk to somebody 1 on 1, do you?

That's what I mean~ if you can't muster up the confidence to even say hello it's puts me off. If you don't even make an attempt to converse then it just puts me off and makes me think you're not interested in being my friend.

Although usually when I see someone with a face on, I come over and ask if they're okay. As long as they don't look like a complete rapist who might eat me alive like I've caught a few people looking at me like.

Sometimes I can have a black cloud over my head and don't speak much when I'm sad or in a bad mood. I can't socialise when I'm miserable so I try quietly talk to them because I care about helping others. If he wants to talk to me, that's great. I'll try help him with his problems and cheer him up if I can so he'll be more inclined to join in the group. If he just grunts or barely speaks I probably won't waste much time on him.

EDIT: Reminds me of something... In college I once just bounded up to a group of people who looked nice and were talking about something I was interested in and tried making friends. They accepted me into their circle of friends, and I saw this one guy sat quietly at a table. I sat next to him and he looked at me like I just slapped out a knife. I asked if he was okay and he just mumbled some incomprehensible. I was obviously making him feel uncomfortable so I just left him to it. The others said he was always like that and I shouldn't worry myself about it.

I never got to know him and it made me a bit sad he seemed to have such big confidence issues. I hope he's a bit better now.

 

[TomLikesGuitar]

snip

I'm a total asshole and it gets me laid a lot.

I dunno. Being a nice guy never worked for me, maybe some guys can pull it off, but I just try to be as good looking and in shape as possible and act like girls mean nothing to me and it works pretty fucking well.

 

[Panzer_God]

Well as ide from the fact that you're referring to girls as "that *****" aren't you on your way to becoming an asshole yourself?(guess my vote )

But on an aside from that particularly Pc commennt, i don't think being confident and being a complete, and utter ASS is inherently conncected. YOu could always just be actually confident, instead of being slefish, greedy or bullying...you know.....you did know that right?

Also, isn't this line of reasoning the same thing as saying that all guys like sultry girls?

Well, apart from the fact that the was a quote from the metaphorical whiny punk in my brain, I am in fact an asshole.

As one of those quiet ones who used to spend most of their time bailing out lasses from their retard boyfriends, yes. Yes they are attacked to "assholes". It's also true in my subjective experience that calm, well mannered and stable makes for great friend material but you'll constantly be single, while boorish, boisterous and... 'frantically searches for another b word' Uh, something? Violent and antisocial guys will never lack for female company.

So the question then becomes, how highly do I value myself? Do I want to be the jerk that gets the girl or do I want to be the good person who dies single. So far it's single, but that knightly thing is kinda draining. Another 3am conversation with a lass who's drunk and wants to kill herself because of her stupid boyfriend who assaulted her, ending with her not killing herself, waking up and still not leaving them will probably end the nice.

Because nice guys really do finish last, and breaking heads brings a sort of dark satisfaction.

For you? You will zen out, finally find a nice girl and think you were wrong and everything's okay, OR you will die single OR you will become everything you hate and all that you despise, turning into that violent jerk that you heaped scorn on saying "Why can't we be more" and the cycle will continue. Bets on the last one, since the first usually results when they've been smashed beyond coping and/or have decided to settle down after spending all their time with said jerks and turns into the last one anyway.

and that's why I'm an asshole. I spent too many sleepless nights with manic-depressives who tried to kill themselves when I fell asleep. I'm still not outright mean, I just stopped caring and life became much easier.

Bah I hate these threads... it's always let's hate on the guys with no confidence because they don't fit in to society and like to complain about it somewhere they don't think they'll be judged...

But us shy guys aren't at all confident and aren't looking to be... So telling us to grow balls is hardly sound advise... from personal experience it's not about "getting the girl"... it's about waiting for them to come get us... for the exact reason that we have no self esteem or confidence and are afraid of the crippling depression and psychological confidence impairing scars that come from rejection... and other such things...

Now shame on you for telling us off for being our selves... Just because we're not the archetypal, "asshole" doesn't automatically make us a bunch of slimy, coniving, cowards... It's the coniving and cowardess that does...

I'm not sure if you're yelling at me, making fun of me or sarcastically agreeing with me.