Poll: How do you eat a burger?

[StBishop]

Back and forth. Take a bite, bite the pointy bit (because my bites are semi-circles, as should yours be) then eat the other pointy bit, then eat the middle once it's all straightened out, and repeat the cycle.



I also have a certain way I eat toast and pies.

 

[TwitchierGuitar]

I eat it the manly way. I start at one spot, and gnaw my was through the whole thing. whatever falls on the plate is eaten up after I'm done...

 

[k-ossuburb]

I normally do what comes naturally to me, I start on one "side" (in quotation marks because how can you have a "side" on a circle? But you get what I mean anyway, I hope) and work my way to the other "side".

PS: I don't want to derail the thread, but I'm curious to know; does anyone have a certain order to how they eat an entire meal? I tend to go for what I dislike the most first then work my way to what I like the most; that way I always end the meal with a nice aftertaste. It also helps me to finish the whole meal (as is the custom in the U.K.) because I'm kind of setting myself a little goal that if I can make my way through the not-so-delicious-stuff, up to the delicious stuff as a reward at the end.

I figured this out as a kid to avoid my grandparents saying that I don't eat enough because I'm one of those people who just doesn't get fat for some reason.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

the guy my left(you can call him lefty) cut the burger in half and ate one half and saved the other for later

I think you're friend is gay

I kid I kid

I eat a burger like you do. Just straight through.

 

[ferrishthefish]

I eat my burgers in triangular thirds. Not because I cut them up that way, but because I can shove roughly a third of the average burger into my mouth with one bite. Anything that starts to fall out after my last bite gets shoved in alongside said bite. Sometimes if it is bigger I am forced to take a fourth bite in the center before I can shove the rest into my mouth.

I have had some truly monstrous burgers that I cannot eat in three or four bites, in which case the above method behaves very similarly to the "go all the way through" method.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Take a bite, rotate to make sure nothing's dripping out, perhaps bite around the outside some more or perhaps not, rinse, repeat.

 

[FamoFunk]

Depends what burger it is.

If it's something greasy and messy like a McD's, I tend to take it aprt first and rebuild it myself because they make it so messy everythings falling out. I'll eat it and if stuff starts to fall out I just push it back in, or lick the sauce, but I do not turn the burger or stuff.

If we're eating in a pub or resturant, the burgurs are normally massive, so I cut it in half or even quaters and take on the challenge like that. I never finish the burger though

Oh, and if it's with chips, I must always eat them first. It's just... odd, otherwise.

 

[gravitate]

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[Ace of Spades]

Take burger, place into mouth, and go om nom nom until gone.

 

[Serving UpSmiles]

Depends, if its one of those, £30 burgers that you buy in restraunts, i start by eating it normally and then cut it in half. If its a mcdonalds burger i basicaly eat until im licking fingers, then i feel sad again

 

[Gaiseric]

Other. I eat burgers in two ways.
1. if I get fast food I always break them into four pieces.
2. if I make my own burger or if it is from a sit down restaurant than I eat it in one piece.

 

[The Afrodactyl]

Any one else take two double cheesburgers and eat them together like a big mac?

OT: I inhale them. Start at one side and begin chewing, do not stop until you hit fingers.

 

[Shiftygiant]

Eat the font, put it down, chew, then pick it up, then swallow. Repeat.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

I take the burger apart and eat it piece by piece.

 

[omega 616]

Take a bite, chew, take out the pointy bit to the left, chew, take out the pointy bit to the right, chew, now take out the pointy bits left in the middle, chew, read from the start of the first line. Repeat till last bite, take last bite.

I don't have sauce or anything other than lettuce on it, so things falling out is not a problem, as lettuce is far from a slippery thing.

 

[Cheery Lunatic]

Dude, totally the second option.

I always get anal with it comes to burgers. Do NOT like seein' mah condiments/lettuce/onions/whatever drippin out.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

Most of the time I simply start from a bite and then remove segments of the burger in a linear fashion until I am full or the burger has been fully deposited in my stomach. In certain circumstances where I'm given an exceptionally unwieldy or messy burger I'll cut it in half but the eating process remains the same.

 

[Loop Stricken]

well, my burger of choice is the Zinger Tower from KFC.

Now there are a few problems with this:

1) Lettuce. Oh so much lettuce. Lettuce overflowing everywhere! Having to stop and ram the errant strips of lettuce back into the burger somewhere ruins any particular style of consumption I might have.

2) The bun.
Imagine if you will, the scientific designation of the bun. it's the thing what holds all the other things in place. So the worst possible idea for the bun would be to perforate it, right?

Ladies and Gentlemen, KFC.
/slowclap

SO in short I'm chomping at the burger jamming the lettuce back in wherever I can as it disintegrates in my hands.
Delicious though.

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I don't.

Your experience in this matter has been duly noted and filed. The file name is "Pointless".