Poll: How do you eat a burger?

[evilstonermonkey]

In general I just eat it as normal (lift burger, place side of burger in mouth, bite, chew, swallow, return to step 1) but for some reason I do it differently at hungry jacks/burger king. I eat it layer by layer - take off the top piece of the bun, eat that, take off the tomato, eat that, take off the bacon, eat that... and so on. I don't do that anywhere else, but from hungry jacks I guess I just prefer the flavour of all the individual bits better than I do as a whole.

 

[Saelune]

I guess I do the ketchup route...mostly because I want to get the most ketchup per bite. However real burgers I dont eat the bun, and usually rip it in bits and dip the meat pieces in ketchup thats covered in pepper...

Edit: Im hungry...

 

[EllEzDee]

I think the western school system is going to need more hammers to HAMMER IN THE DIFFERENT HOMOPHONES TO THEIR THICK SKULLS.

ARGH.

And i haven't had a hamburger in a while, not since the shitty Burger King i went to took almost 10 minutes to finish my order and i got it cold. Wasn't even a busy day.
Don't think i have a method for eating it though, just like i don't have a method for breathing.

 

[Thespian]

Your experience has also been files into the pointless folder. We thank you for your contribution.

My apologies, I must just have been bitter because I don't get to post how I eat a burger, thus being immortalized in the hallowed halls of fame for evermore, like everyone else in this thread.

What was I thinking.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Cut with a knife and fork if it's a big one. If not I inject it directly into my veins!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehrm, I'll go with the first bit (*snobbish sniff* I only eat beef that costs at least a grand per pound!).

I'm like David Mitchell... never again set foot in a fast food joint. GBK, on the other hand, yes, and full set of cutlery is used, like the petty bourgeois ponce that I am! =P

 

[blankedboy]

Eat the front?
Who eats burgers in different ways

 

[Revolutionary]

Just eat it from the front to the back without spilling any. Like a boss.

 

[awmperry]

I have my burgers plain - sometimes with bacon, but never any plants, goo or other irrelevancies - so there's no ketchup seepage to worry about. I generally just eat the outside first (it has a higher bread-to-burger ratio), saving the part with the higher meat content for last.

 

[SoulSalmon]

I came to this thread with the FULL intention of being the arsehole who says: "I bite, chew and swallow, in that order, until theres no burger left" but looks like I've been beaten to it by all the other arseholes...

Woe is me :/

More on topic, the first option for most burgers, but if I go to McDonalds then I don't really have a choice in the matter and I have to eat at the location where all the insides are falling out from, because the employees like to prepare burgers by throwing burger parts into a box from across the room.

 

[Merkavar]

i bite into it and when i notice cheese or something sqeezing out the other side i turn around and start eating from that end.

 

[MikeyW]

Ever sen the south park episode "red hot catholic love"? Yeah, like that.

 

[Mr. Google]

Back and forth. Take a bite, bite the pointy bit (because my bites are semi-circles, as should yours be) then eat the other pointy bit, then eat the middle once it's all straightened out, and repeat the cycle.



I also have a certain way I eat toast and pies.

My bites are triangles 0_o whats wrong with me!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

[StBishop]

Back and forth. Take a bite, bite the pointy bit (because my bites are semi-circles, as should yours be) then eat the other pointy bit, then eat the middle once it's all straightened out, and repeat the cycle.



I also have a certain way I eat toast and pies.

My bites are triangles 0_o whats wrong with me!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Are you a bird? Birds bite in triangles because they have beaks.
Maybe you have a narrow/pointy mouth?

 

[Mailman]

I cut the burger in half and eat both halves. It keeps it from getting too messy.

 

[RivFader86]

fork/knife i don't touch food after it's prepared especially in public

 

[legion431]

Where's the 'blender' option.

 

[KingofallCosmos]

If it's a good burger, I'll eat in untill it falls apart from too much ingredients. Then it's all caveman style, like I'm eating unlimited spare ribs.

Captcha: curshoo Lucrece.
Yes! Curse you Lucretia!

 

[Wutaiflea]

If I'm eating at Maccy D's or somewhere similar, I just hold it together and eat it in one go, but if I'm in a restaurant having a posh burger, I cut it into halves or quarters to make it a little more elegant.

You haven't, however, included the fashion in which my burger-aholic husband eats his burgers, which is by way of dissection. He takes the top off, cuts the burger meat into triangular pieces, then eat the bottom of the bun, and then the top. He even eats bacon and cheese toppings separately.
He isn't quite so bad at McDonalds, but he'll still sometimes eat both halves of the bun and the burger separately.

 

[AbstractStream]

I eat it in a way so that I avoid anything (lettuce, ketchup, etc.) from falling it.