Poll: How long should a couple go out before moving in together?

[SimuLord]

Any length of time... plus a ring and a ceremony.

I suppose you also don't believe in premarital sex?

I'm a firm believer in cohabitation because you really don't know how you're going to do living with someone unless you try it. I lived with my ex-wife and a roommate for four months before I got married---and I'm really wishing that (1) I'd lived with her for longer and (2) I'd lived with her without the roommate so I could see that her domestic skills were a bit...well, lacking...compared to what I was looking for in a wife.

That is correct. Premarital sex == premarital kids, and that doesn't turn out well very often.

Some of the best advice I've ever heard on the subject of knowing thy significant other is, look at the same-gendered parent, and especially their attitude towards their spouse. They're often a preview of how their child will act towards you.

I'll second that whole thing about the same-gendered parent. A woman will inevitably turn into her mother (another problem with my defunct marriage---my mother-in-law was a dishonest, manipulative person who had no concept whatsoever of keeping her word, and sure enough, her daughter acted that way toward me.)

And if a man turns into his father, that's a good sign for my personal quest to become a better person. My father was a good man. And after he passed away and my mom met my stepfather, I again had a very good male influence in my life. I intend to name my son after both men (first and middle name) when the time comes for fatherhood.

 

[Safaia]

I know couples who moved within a month and they are still together.

I know couples who waited over six months and they are no longer together.

Bottom line: it completely and totally depends on the couple. There are too many variables to set any sort of universal 'time line' for this sort of thing.

 

[khaimera]

I say at least three months. You need that extra time to really learn who the other person is.

Plus, who pays the remainder of lease after a breakup? Thats always an awkward situation trust me.

That's why you sign short leases. Typically three to six months. We're both in college, so a three month lease would cover most of a term in case we broke up. XD

Thats the best way to go. Those leases used to be hard to find, at least where I live. Maybe shorter leases have become more common.

 

[Jackalb]

Mere seconds.

 

[Kair]

14 seconds, its more economical to share housing, its cheaper, better for the environment.

Yes, shared housing is more practical.

 

[RollForInitiative]

Depends on the couple. Some people need a long time, some people don't. Honestly, it doesn't matter what anybody else says; all that really matters is how the two involved feel about it.

 

[Ham_authority95]

I think it depends on the couple and how fast they want the relationship to go.

Personally, I would never want a girlfriend to move in with me. I like my personal space and "alone time" too much.

 

[RollForInitiative]

That is correct. Premarital sex == premarital kids, and that doesn't turn out well very often.

I couldn't disagree with this more. Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship and you need to know if everything is going to gel properly in the bedroom before you go tying a ball and chain to your leg. Nothing like finding out on the honeymoon that the two of you just aren't a match behind closed doors.

As for premarital sex equaling premarital kids, well...we have this magical thing called birth control. Apparently the varying kinds of it are very effective, given the activeness of my sex life and the lack of any children to show for it.

Hey, to each their own, though. I just find it a laughably bad idea to wait until you've legally bound yourself to somebody to find out if they're actually the right partner for you.

 

['Aredor]

Not much to add, it depends upon the couple, about how old they are, how much experience they already have, and so on. But taking that important step too soon is a surefire way to fuck things up. I'd strongly recommend it before marriage, though, since even if you've been together for several years, there's no way knowing how living together's going to be unless you actually try it out.

I suppose you also don't believe in premarital sex?

That is correct. Premarital sex == premarital kids, and that doesn't turn out well very often.

Indeed, I can't name a single person who's ever had premarital sex without also having a premarital kid. It makes sense, as well, since there's no way whatsoever to have sex without impregnating someone. I think those scientists should come up with a thing like that.

 

[Danzaivar]

That is correct. Premarital sex == premarital kids, and that doesn't turn out well very often.

Your pastor is not a fertility expert.

 

[omicron1]

"Safe sex" does not always work. Surely you would not deny this?

Which means either abortion (which I equate to the killing of a child), unmarried mothers, a lot of hassle and emotional trauma for both parties, or putting the child up for adoption. None of which are especially good things.

The purpose of love is making babies and solidifying an emotional bond. The purpose of marriage is providing a stable environment for said babies to grow up in. You take one without the other and things don't work that well.

 

[omicron1]

...or, it could be because the marriage is built on lust, not love.

Or at least, that's my opinion.

 

[Continuity]

Six months seems like a good benchmark to me, you can get to know someone well enough in that time to have a guess at whether it might work.

 

[lansid]

Never. If the "couple" just considers themselves as "going out" then they're too immature to live together. Wait till you're out of High School to move out of your mom and dads basement and make that BIG LEAP to the commitment of "going steady", the upgrade from "just going out" before you move in together.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Never. If the "couple" just considers themselves as "going out" then they're too immature to live together. Wait till you're out of High School to move out of your mom and dads basement and make that BIG LEAP to the commitment of "going steady", the upgrade from "just going out" before you move in together.

Going out is still considered a highschool term? I thought going steady was what? from the '50s? I use the term "going out" because chances are, most of us have used that term at some point or another. Going steady, going out, seeing each other, whatever term you decide to use, they all get the point across. I'm not here to start a debate, I'm here to get opinions out of curiousity. It's not like I'm going to take anything of what anyone says in here and alter my life plan because of it.

So, assuming that they make said "BIG LEAP" and are "going steady" what is you opinion as to the timeframe. Also, for added info since I'm obviously incapable of making said "BIG LEAP" please tell me roughly the time frame if there is one, for a couple to move from "going out" to "going steady" and enlighten my poor and juvenile mind.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

It depends on if they already spend a lot of time together, and can understand each others' quirks enough to live together without too much conflict.
That's a rarity though.