Poll: How long should a couple go out before moving in together?
- Thread starter MasterOfWorlds
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Whenever you're both comfortable or if it makes financial sense. Whenever it's right for you, really =) If that's two weeks, good! If it's fifteen years, great!
Incredibly subjective question... I moved in with my ex-husband about 8 months into our relationship, and we were together for 3 years. I wish I'd been living with him longer before we got married, because (I hope) I would have seen the abusive tendencies developing.
(And it's not true that you can watch how one's same gendered parent treats their spouse... if my ex had been like his father, we'd still be married.)
Right now, I live with my boyfriend. We've been together for seven months, but it was long-distance for the better part of that time. It's been about 4 weeks that we've been living together, and it's been wonderful mostly.
(And it's not true that you can watch how one's same gendered parent treats their spouse... if my ex had been like his father, we'd still be married.)
Right now, I live with my boyfriend. We've been together for seven months, but it was long-distance for the better part of that time. It's been about 4 weeks that we've been living together, and it's been wonderful mostly.
That's cool that you've known each other that long. Normally I would ask how long you've been going out, but after knowing someone that long, even if you've only been dating for a little bit, you're probably pretty comfortable around them and such. Which would make the whole moving in thing a lot easier.Pirate Kitty said:
I've known my gf for a little over a year now, and we've been dating for...almost 7 months. Actually, in three days, it will be the seven month anniversary. XD
Anyway, we're not thinking about moving in right this second, it was just something we had discussed if we're still together by the time we get jobs settled a bit and a little more college out of the way. We get along really well and talk most days. Her mom likes me, her dad hates me, which is typical I suppose. Aren't dads pretty much obligated to hate/distrust their daughter's bfs? XD
In reality, we both know that we probably won't move in together until sometime in 2012, so we have time to figure things out. it's just a conversation that we've had.
She also said that when we get an apartment or something, she wants her best friend to come along too for a few reasons. Rent split three ways is better than two ways, her friend doesn't really like being along and doesn't want to stay with her parents any more than she has to, etc etc.
So here's another question on the ever expanding topic surrounding this. XD
What about friends of the gf/bf moving in too? Is this an OK thing or something that shouldn't be done. I'm not really asking advice on my personal situation, I'm just giving a little bit of perspective as to why I brought this topic up. I've spoken to her friend several times and we get along fairly well. I know it also depends on the friend.
So what are all your thoughts?
Also, sorry Pirate Kitty for putting all of this in with my response to your post, it just made more sense to do it all as one. XD
I'm going by what my dad taught me. he said that you can only judge how well you'll be living together when you are married is how well you live together for two years before marriage.
So the sooner the better.
So the sooner the better.
54% divorce rate mate. Hell my mother is a primary example. She was married for fourteen years and they ultimately divorced. Ironically years thereafter, she met my father, who she did not marry. Your belief is entirely false, because you insinuate it as though an impossibility to have a stable healthy environment under a single parent household. Marriage, at its core, it nothing beyond a Government issued paper and an overly elaborate party. The emotional investment people derive is purely self-imposed, yet not exclusive. It is entirely possible to remain unwed, yet have an equally wonderful relationship as any married couple.omicron1 said:
i honestly do think a year seems like a good amount of time, you will have gotten to know the other person very well and will know what they are like to be around for long periods of time. but then again every relationship is different and i suppose you should ask them to move in with you when you both seem comfortable about the idea.
... you cannot be serious? The reason for that was because in those times women were barely allowed to do anything without their husband's consent, let alone divorce them. It was substantially lower because it was not something readily available to people at the time, not because they were a loving couple.omicron1 said:
And so the spectre of revisionist history comes back to haunt us. Women's rights was about the vote, not about freeing all women from slavery to their husbands. If you look at the history, sure there were cases of domineering, evil husbands treating their wives horribly... but there are such cases today, too. And sure, there were cases (perhaps many cases) where the woman was wronged somehow and couldn't get out - but definitely not 40% of all marriages. Fact of the matter is, divorce nowadays can happen for practically any reason whatsoever - one partner doesn't like the other's habit of not putting down the toilet seat? The "spark" is gone and one of them wants out? He's secretly cheating on her and wants to switch partners?Bourne Endeavor said:
Free divorce has cheapened marriage substantially, lessening both the meaning and the impact, and making it easier to just give up rather than finding solutions to the problems at hand. That is all.
I didn't really intend for this to fall into a debate about safe sex and marriage, but by all means, have fun. XD
